How to Make It in America S1E5 - English Transcript

Point game. Come on. It's all right. I got it. I got it. Foul. Come on. That's a weak call. When I was your age, you had to draw blood - to call foul like that. - Your *** is weak. I'm gonna show you old man. You'd better bring it stronger than that. What? Wide open. Hot sauce! "Hot sauce"? Really? - Are you okay? - Yeah, sure. Why? No reason. You're just staring at the Cheez Doodles. Am I? You were in a really intense way. I guess I'm just curious, you know what they mean. - What they mean? - Yeah, well, you have to admit it's kind of an odd gift. It's it's silly. If you don't want to tell me, I understand. It's fine. When Ben and I first started dating we used to debate everything. We ended up in this debate one night about Cheez Doodles versus Cheetos. I like Cheetos. He likes Cheez Doodles. It's really stupid. We stopped debating after that. I think he was just trying to be funny by giving me those. Yeah, it's funny. I can get rid of them if they make you feel uncomfortable. Why waste them, right? They made some *** *** calls and on top of that they were talking mad ***. Whatever, man. You talked as much *** as they did. Yeah, but I talk *** because I can back it up usually. What? Pete Powell. Pete Powell? As in genetic denim Pete Powell? - Yep. - Yo, let's go grab him. I called him four times, he never called me back. He's obviously not looking to talk. Whatever, man. We've got our samples. We don't need him. I bet once upon a time he had a sample too. Now you selling his *** at Barneys. It's not gonna hurt to ask, right? Yo! Yo, Pete! Pete Powell! Hold up. What's up, man? It's cam. Cam Calderon. You know my boy Ben, right? Ben Epstein? - My old barmy buddy. - How's it going? - It's good. - Same old same old? - You know I tried calling you, right? - You did? A few times. I don't check messages. You should've texted me. - What did you want to talk about? - We're starting a denim line. Good for you guys. - You got two minutes to talk about it? - We could use some good pointers. Guys, I'm in town for 24 hours. The only thing I've got time for is business meetings and seeing my mother. Next time I'm in town, I'll take you to dinner and talk. Yeah, man. It's all good. Come on. You can't do a quick LA Style latte with your old buddy? Your partner's a little pushy, Ben. I'm a lot pushy, actually. How can I say no to two guys on the grind? Besides, I could use a cup of coffee. Black. I don't do lattes. - Que pasa, bro? - Rene. Hola. Yeah, how's that Rasta Monsta moving? I'm trying to push it, Rene. Most people are looking to get *** up though, not so energized. Do what you can, man. It's appreciated. Have you seen my cousin Tito? They tell me he's spending a lot of time here these days. - He's in the back. - He's in the back? - Yeah. - Okay. Thanks, Joe. Little Tito puente! ***, Rene. Don't you knock? What if I was naked? What the *** would you be doing naked in a bar for? You don't know? Know what? Gloria she kicked me out of the house. I've been living here. - So how come you didn't call me? - I did. You never called me back. Yeah, probably because I thought you needed some money. Nah, I just needed a place to stay. That's worse. See? Everybody's turning their back on me even my own family. Come on, I'm just kidding with you. You're my favorite cousin. Get dressed. - We've got to go over to your house. - What for? You remember that little package I gave you to hide in the basement for me? Yeah. I put it in the ceiling like you told me to. That's good. I need it now, all right? So put your stinky-*** feet into those Adidas and let's get moving. I ain't allowed near the house. - Says who? - The court. - Gloria got a restraining order. - What the *** you do to Gloria? Nothing. She saw some charges from a *** bar on my credit card. She came after me with a blade. I hid in the closet, called 911. Cops came, she started crying and they arrested me. You believe that? Bro, I believe it. You both crazy. Come on. I've gotta go. Let's go. So what do you got? Crisp denim. It's catchy. I like it. - '70s inspired. - Two-tone window-pane? No no, and not bells either. All right, I'm curious. - Enough to get us a sales hookup? - Depends. You got something I can check out? We're actually getting our sample today. Sorry, guys. - I'm on a 5:00 flight out. - But trust us - They're dope. - I'm sure they are. I always thought you'd be the one in the clothing business, not me. You know this guy, he had mad style. Remember that time you rocked those crazy wayfarers to Vicky Wyler's party? - Yeah, man. - And I clowned you. - You did. - Now they're back and hot again. I stick with the classics. I'll tell you what, I've got a buyer in town from Tokyo A friend of mine named Haraki. He's always asking about up-and-comers. I'm gonna take a chance on you guys. I'll set up a meeting. Thank you. He was staring at the Cheez Doodles. - Staring how? - Like this. Like That's quite a stare. Yeah, and then He ate them. That is intense. I mean, it's kind of a *** move if you ask me. Maybe. I I understand it. - You do? - Sure. Those Cheez Doodles are more than just a snack to Darren. They're like a message from Ben saying: "Hey, ***. I got there first. " I don't think that's what Ben was trying to do. What were you trying to say by bringing them up to Darren's apartment? I wasn't. They just were with all my other gifts. It's a little insensitive. Not only did you bring your ex to your party, but then you kept his gift out on display. Are you not ready to move on? I'm I'm ready to move on. Then start showing it. I would definitely live in LA. - You're lying. - Why would I lie to you? Fine. You're lying to yourself then. You think I'm gonna die living in the L. E. S. ? Yes, I do. That's harsh, bro. All right, fine. You might move to brooklyn for a minute though. Wait. Why do you think I'm never gonna leave? Because your grandmother won't, and how are you gonna live without her cooking and cleaning all your clothes? I'll get a girlfriend. Not if they hear you saying *** like that, you won't. Whatever. I'll prove you wrong. I'm gonna be living where there's fun in the sun. All right. I'll believe it when I see it. You are gonna see it. You're coming with me. I'm not moving anywhere, man. I was born here. I'm gonna die here. - And you know why? You know why. - Don't sing that song. * 'cause, I'm a native New Yorker. * Marsha, my lov did you miss me? And you are? From Crisp denim. How can you forget about me like that? I'm hurt. - Would you stop harassing her? - Don't worry. I can handle this one. - We're here to pick up our sample. - Have a seat. And please feel free to take Mr. Pickup artist here with you. What the *** you want? Come on. Is that any way to be talking in front of my grandmother? I'm sorry, Rosa. I didn't see you. Are you gonna invite us in? - Yeah, of course. Sure. - Thank you. You're getting a divorce? I know Tito's your blood but, with all due respect to you, he's also made of slime. You're family too. Family has to be there for family during times like this. Yeah yeah. We're here to show you some support. That is so sweet of you, Rosa. What am I, invisible? You too, I guess. Please, have a seat. I'll make you some coffee. Gracias. Sorry about the wait, fellas. I know you're a busy man. That's why I'm still alive. Too busy to die. All my retired friends dead. And the rest of 'em got nothing to live for except snot-nosed grandkids and arguing with health-insurance providers. Not me. Me, I'm a worker. Here we are. That looks dope. Are you troubled or are you jumping for joy on the inside? No, it just looked a little different in my head. I think they look good. Try 'em on. - You can go back there. - Yeah? He's a nice boy, but he carries a lot of tension in his belly. He needs yoga. He needs to get laid. That's what I've been trying to tell him. Come on. Let me see. Good looking pant. Not the right cut for you, though. I think they look good. They're exactly what you wanted. Yes, because I'm a *** moron. No, you're just a little insane, 'cause you hate everything you ever done. No real guy would wear these. - I would. - Would you really? Jesus. Only 'cause they're too tight. I like a little loose. You know. I'm throwing these in the trash. Hold on. They're not just yours. They're mine too. - What about the meeting tonight? - What about it? We can't not show up. Pete put himself out there for us. I'm sure if he saw these, he'd be happy if we didn't show. The jeans are fine, okay? We're going. There's no shot we're going. Then I'm going alone. Unlike you, I'm not gonna blow this chance. Here you go. Fine. He's gonna laugh in your face. Just leave me out of it, all right? Thanks for the encouragement, ***. I'm a ***? At least I can admit that I've got no one to blame for this but myself, Cam. Now just leave me alone. Here's a game for Hinky-Poo. The black's for me, the red's for you. Are you guys following this? Right here. Flip it. Come on. - Pay up. Let's go. - Beginner's luck. You know what? Keep your money, fellas. It's cool. Am I seeing you for dinner tonight? In fact, I thought maybe we could try something a little different. Different how? You know the gardens at the cloisters? Of course. Do you want to have sex there? You want to have sex with me outdoors in the cloisters? I'm game if you're game. Is this about the Cheez Doodles? No, I Come on. It does have something to do with the Cheez Doodles situation. I'm really sorry about that. I just wanted to do something with you that I had never done with anyone else. You know, I appreciate what you're doing. I really do. Actually, I think I owe you an apology. I was an *** this morning when I ate the Cheez Doodles. It was a *** move. I'm really sorry. So I don't have to have sex with you outdoors in order to make you feel special? - No. - Good. But while we're on the subject, there is something that I would like to do, that I have never done before, with you. What's that? - Ecstasy. - Really? Yeah, I never did it. I was always such a jock in school. You know what? I did it once with a girlfriend in college. So do you want to do that then? On a school night? Yeah, so what? - Sure. - All right. - Do you know where we can get it? - Hold on. Do you know where I can find X? - Top drawer on the left. - Are you serious? They're left over from burning man. Do they expire? So I think I found a lead. When I was your age, there was no such thing as a divorce. You did not run. You stayed. You fixed the problem. But men were gentlemen back then, Rosa. Men were always men. But did they smoke ***? Gamble away the wedding gifts? Spend the I. R. S. Tax check on some cheap ho's at the strip bar? This is what Tito does? I gotta go to the bathroom, okay? Come on. - Where is she? - Just shut up. Get over there. Gloria is not bad-mouthing me to Rosa, is she? My grandmother, she catches me with a bag of cash and I got to explain to her where it came from, - I'm going to kill you. - There's cash in that package? - What did you think was in there? - I don't know guns. No, man, there's 100k in there. - 100k? And you tell me now? - Money does funny things to people. I thought it would be best not to lead you into temptation. - What the *** is this? - Holy ***. What happened to my rec room? My ping-pong? Bro, go look for my money. Hurry the *** up. - There ain't nothing here, bro. - You'd better be *** kidding me. - You'd better be kidding me. - I swear. I put it right here a month ago. I put the package right here. - You *** with me, bro? - No! I'm telling you it's not here! What is going on down here? What the *** are you doing here, you ***? He's doing the same thing I'm doing Looking for my money. - What money? - The money you stole. I didn't steal no *** money. I put Rene's money up in the ceiling and now it's gone? He's full of ***. He probably shoveled it up is nose. You know I would not steal from you, 'cause I love you and I respect you, - but mostly because I fear you. - Get it through your head. - He's a manipulator. - ***. What about you? Where did you get all the money to get all this *** if you didn't take it? - None of your *** business. - See, Rene? She took it. I got the money from my father, you scummy piece of ***. He sold his chevy so I could open my business. Now you two better get your *** out of my parlor and off my property in 20 seconds - Or I'm calling the cops. - Let's calm down, all right? - We're family here. - No, we ain't family. You ruined my parlor. I *** hate you. What's going on in here? Nothing, grandma. Look, I'll explain this later. Look, I promise, I swear I'm gonna fix this all up for you, Gloria. All right? Just tell me who was the contractor that did this work for you. Flaco. Flaco? From the vladeck projects? Yeah. Now you really have a reason to hate him. Can I get a smoke off of you? Yo, you're like 12. *** off, ***. We've just got to sit and wait. Nice rack, my man. Thanks. This is ecstasy? I always thought it was gonna be bigger or something. That little pill is all you need. - It's that good? - Yeah. - Here it goes. - Yeah. Jesus. How long until we feel something? Just kidding. Soon enough, my dear. - What should we do? - Let's listen to music. Mauricio, how about some tunes, man? Hola, Marie. - It's been a long time. - Yeah, it has. You look good. You look good too. - What are you doing here? - I'm looking for Flaco. What's going on? I just want to talk some business with him. It's about time you two grew up and put the past in the past. Yeah, you know, I was thinking the same thing. That sounds like his car coming up now. That's a nice car that he got himself. He won it last month playing poker. Lucky, right? Yep. Flaco was always lucky. Excuse me. Are you here to meet me or is there an *** convention in the building? For real. I acted like a *** today. I'm sorry. I still hate those jeans though. Yeah? Why are you here then? Because if we're going down, then we're going down together. We ain't going down. - Later, Cam. - Nice meeting you, Cam. Yo, how'd it go? It was good. We'll see. - I'll put in a good word. - Appreciate it. Making friends? What? Hey, guys, Haraki's gonna need two minutes. - Are you cool? - Yeah, cool. Thank you. God. This is the best I've ever felt in my whole life, Rachel. - Just go with it! - I will. I will. God. I've always wanted to feel like this. This is incredible. I just feel free. I just feel free. God. I love you. - What? - I love you. - I love you too. - Hey, and I love you. My god. - You love me? - Of course. Good craftsmanship. Well made. Thanks. Crisp is all about the quality. But I don't like the cut. Not for me. Not for japanese consumer. You don't think they're gonna love the old-school flavor? No. Thank you. - You have something else? - No, just the jeans. Okay, my friends. You come see me next time. - I come every six months. - I appreciate your time. Thank you. Cool shirt. - It's American apparel. - No, his shirt. Thanks. Who makes that one? I did. A long time ago though. - Vintage? - Yeah, high school. Could you make 300 more? - Definitely. - Good. I will need them by next Wednesday. My assistant will call you in the morning. Have a good night.