Bands Who are Absolute Nightmares on Tour

It's a poorly kept secret that some rock stars view themselves as superior to run-of-the-mill commoners like us. Whether they're making insane demands of the venues and cities lucky enough to be blessed by their presence, or they're taking a sadistic pleasure in antagonizing their own fans, all of these acts are absolute freaking nightmares on the road. Appetite for destruction Guns N' Roses' concerts have always been pretty hit or miss for one shaggy, screeching reason: frontman Axl Rose, who quickly developed a reputation for being an enormous jerk who only deigns to perform if he feels like it. The world got a sneak preview of these tendencies in 1991, during a performance in St. Louis, when Rose took issue with some fan taking pictures from the front row - you know, the same thing that everyone does today with their phone. Man the 90s were a simple time…. Anyway, , Rose decided to handle it himself and leapt into the crowd. One riot, 65 injuries, and thousands of dollars in property damage later, the band found itself facing multiple lawsuits and Rose's reputation was cemented. "Well, thanks to the lame-*** security, I'm going home." Feeling like he could do better, Rose managed to anger pretty much all of Montreal during the Guns' joint tour with Metallica. When the latter had to cut their set short after lead singer James Hetfield was seriously burned by pyrotechnics, Rose and the boys could have calmed the crowd and saved the day by putting on a blistering set so, of course, they didn't. "He'd said something into the mic, and then just threw it down and walked off-stage. Axl didn't want to be outdone. And that's when all hell broke loose." Presto, instant riot but Rose, having not learned his lesson, somehow made Canadians riot again by canceling a Vancouver show a full decade later. Speaking of Metallica… Metallica rose from scrappy thrash-metal outfit to the biggest band on the planet in no time at all. Largely sober and straightened out by the time they achieved their greatest success, the band doesn't blow up Best Westerns or start brawls with fans they simply place an unreal burden on every venue at which they perform, as outlined extensively in a 24-page tour rider. First things first: The band requires a $5 million insurance policy for each performance, or no deal. Parking space must be cleared, in close proximity to the venue, for seven full-size buses and fourteen 48-foot tractor-trailers. The venue must provide separate rooms for dressing, "food and schmooze," tuning, wardrobe, crew quarters, pyrotechnics, and three business offices. An unarmed security staff of five dozen or so must also be provided, and we haven't even gotten to the catering yet: hot breakfast, lunch, and dinner for 100, along with an insane assortment of beverages, deli platters, fresh fruit, and such to be replenished throughout the day. Guess the problem with becoming the biggest band on the planet is that at some point, you start to act like it. Sheesh. Weezy ain't easy While Metallica insists that their security be unarmed, late-2000s hip-hop phenom Lil Wayne demands a unit of armed guards suitable for a head of state. His tour rider begins with the requirement of a two-vehicle police escort from the airport to the hotel, which will be joined by an additional squad of four armed, off-duty officers to accompany Wayne from the hotel to the venue, then back to the hotel, and anywhere else he might need to go. Sounds pretty secure, right? Not secure enough! Ten more armed guards must patrol the backstage areas, and for international dates, an additional four-man armed security team must be available to Wayne 24 hours a day. For his off-venue accommodation, Wayne requires nothing less than the presidential suite of a five-star hotel, and obviously, copious amounts of food, ***, energy drinks, and towels 10 white hand towels and 10 white full-size towels must be present in his room upon arrival. Who ever said Weezy didn't enjoy the finer things? "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttt?" All hail the queen There are artists with demanding tour riders, and then there is Madonna, who as Queen of Madonnaworld, must have everything just so if she's to be ready to perform. Madge travels with a 200-person entourage (which includes 30 bodyguards, an acupuncturist, and a yoga instructor, of course) for which a strict vegan menu must be prepared, and that's one of her least difficult demands. For some reason, Madonna requires that the backstage area be equipped with 20 international phone lines, in case she needs to call twenty people all around the world all at once. Her highness also requires that all backstage furniture be "draped in a special fabric," accompanied by "lilies and white and pink roses with their stems cut to exactly six inches." But it's the requirements she has of her hotel that are truly nuts: To make sure she's completely comfortable, Madonna likes her accommodations to have that lived-in feel. That is to say, she literally ships the furniture from her house everywhere she goes and demands that the hotel room's furniture be removed and replaced with her own before she arrives. Hey, at least she stopped there she could've gotten it in her head to bring along her actual house. Tourin' with the devil Despite their fun-loving, party-hard image, Van Halen has to be one of the most stressful bands in the world to be in, because the guys kind of can't stand each other. When we worked with these guys, we loved them. They were great. And we had a lot of fun. Y'know. But, just in in any relationship, sometimes things just go sour." That said, they were just as hotel-room-trash-y as the next guys in their early days, at least. In 1978, Van Halen was opening for arena rock kings Journey when they became displeased with the headliners' lavish catering and bevy of groupies, amenities the boys felt deprived of. So, they utterly destroyed their hotel room, chucked TVs out the window, and had a fire extinguisher fight in the hallway, and blamed it all on Journey. But that's nothing compared to their bizarre stage antics from Roth challenging a fan to a fight in 1984, to Eddie smashing guitars and storming off stage in 2004, to the mangled mess they made of their signature hit "Jump" at a 2007 show. It's their crackerjack live performances that made Van Halen legendary, and when they're on, they're on top of the world. But when they're off just… oof. Make some noise The Beastie Boys went from frat boys of rap to beloved elder statesmen in an improbably short time. But during their tour in support of their 1986 debut Licensed to Ill, they were about as welcomed by the towns receiving them as a plague of locusts and caused nearly as many problems. To put things into perspective, the Washington Post ran an article in advance of their Washington, D.C., date that screamed: "BAN THE BEASTIE BOYS: Beware, parents! The Beastie Boys don't do concerts; they do ***." While this wasn't exactly the case, their raucous shows and tendency to demolish hotel rooms drew the ire of law enforcement agencies across the country. The Beasties eventually departed for the U.K. leg of the tour, where a Liverpool audience unaccustomed to such rowdiness broke into a riot, Ad-Rock was arrested, and the whole ugly incident led to the Beasties being dropped from the Def Jam label. They responded to the setback by moving to Los Angeles, hooking up with the Dust Brothers, and producing one of rap's greatest masterpieces 1989's Paul's Boutique. So if you wanna kick-start your career... start a riot? Unless you're Axl Rose. Three is enough, Axl.