The Untold Tale of Beedle The Bard - Part 4

Join me on an adventure Follow but keep your guard Journey through the ages Witness the tales of Beedle the Bard Some say that they are just legends But you'll see as our tale is spun That these are all of the stories Passed down from father to son to son And I was there, oh I was there I watched the years pass, ten and four A child to care, stories on end Creation to share Our tale continues as tales do A young girl and a broken man Our tale continues in full force A father does all he can, all he can These are the tales of Beedle the Bard Writing again, Beedle? Father! I've grown far too old for these scares. More importantly, so have you. I would say that I have grown too old for a great many things. What are you writing now? Those stories you used to tell me as a child. I thought it was about time somebody wrote them down. I am planning on giving them to Amata for her birthday. She should know them by now. You have told them to her. Some. She has some favorites, though. She took such a liking to Fair Fortune. For years, she refused to hear anything else. Well, you understand, she is only just 14 years old. She has time to hear the others. I fear she may not. Her condition has grown worse over the past year. I have had to take her out of school, though she was less than pleased. [scream] Help me! She's mad! Orelin Potter! You take that back! You take back what you said to me right now! Amata. What have I told you about using your wand outside of lessons? I know I'm not supposed to. But you didn't hear him! You didn't hear what he called me! And what did he call you? He called me a girl! Well you are one, in case you haven't noticed! I'm afraid he makes a fair point, my dear. It was the way he said it! He said it was good that I couldn't go to school because he said girls don't need school. He said girls are supposed to sit and home and knit and cook while the boys go off to school and learn magic. I only said you made a good girl. It was supposed to be a compliment. Orelin, who told you that girls shouldn't learn magic? My Father. And who told him? I thought everyone knew that. What would a girl do with magic? Do you want me to show you? Amata! Father! Amata! Give me your wand. But, Father- Amata. You see? She's mad! She's not mad. In fact...she's reminded me of a very old story. About a very talented Witch who saved the wizarding world from a foolish muggle king. Well that's silly. A witch couldn't save anyone. Oh, but she did. And she did it by using magic. Really? Of course! That was always one of your Father's favorites when he was your age. Could you tell it to me, Grandfather? I'm too old for fairy tales, Amata. But your father can tell it to you. He knows it well enough. Oh would you tell it Father? Please? I want to hear it! I suppose I could try. But only if Orelin will stay and listen too. Of course he will! Won't you? Good! Now, the Witch, the one who saved the Wizards, what was she called? Babbity Rabbity. Well, that's a stupid name. You're the one with the stupid name, Orelin Potter. I think Babbity Rabbity is lovely. Babbity Rabbity was an old washer woman, who lived in a kingdom ruled over by a very foolish muggle king who thought that he alone in his kingdom should possess Magical powers. One day, the king sent a decree across all the land... Decree! A royal decree! A decree! That all witches shall be beheaded or burned For practicing magic that's clearly unearned It should belong to only me So I issue this decree!!!! Decree! A royal decree! An instructor of magic to teach me his art Spells and enchantments and potions for start I'll make you rich I guarantee If you answer this decree Decree! A royal decree! How foolish is he! I laugh at his decree All the witches such as me Are hiding from the horde of men he sent to kill us all I may be just a washerwoman but I know my kind and we are smart Be still my heart! Who is this? I am a wizard of ability Come to foster you in my facility Though my only claim is magic's mastery I promise I'll train you to proficiency Watch me do this and watch me do that See me dazzle you with my magic act Oh dear sorcerer, your magic is exact You will teach me Yes, I will. I will, in fact! But there are a few things I require to make your training go with haste Five hundred measly galleons to purchase things that you won't waste You need a cloak you need a wand, some potion vials and beyond An eye of newt and toe of frog And fur of skunk... and tusk of hog! I'll need some rubies red as blood and seven silver chalices No not the shoddy pewter ones, just take them from your palaces I'll need a couple nifflers and one hundred golden candlesticks One hundred golden candlesticks? One hundred golden candlesticks! He needs one hundred candlesticks One hundred golden candlesticks Well, fetch the golden candlesticks! Oh sorcerer teach us your tricks! Oh he is a connoisseur of wizardry Come to teach our royal king of sorcery >>Babbity: He is no wizard This power will improve his majesty >>Babbity: He's just a man Oh sorcerer we thank you gratefully! >>Babbity: A foolish man! It will only work when you are worthy of it! I will earn its power, all its cunning and wit. Now, repeat after me: Flim flam flum Babanash Hyphensmurf Fnordnflash Boop and Bop Floop and flop Wibbly wobbly Timey wimey Abracadabra And alakazam and a bibbity bobbity boo And a bam Fibbertygibbet and ziggity zip and a thingimabob and a drippity drip Well, Go on! Abracadabra and alakazam and a bibbity bobbity boo And a bam Fibbertygibbet and ziggity zip and a thingimabob and a drippity drip Ohhhhhh nannihoo, jabberwok Shamble bobble, dibble dobble Brickabrack, frickafrack, jimberjam- I must look so undiginified To make this woman laugh so My subjects must be sneering As I bumble and I gaffe so I think I am ready to perform my learned magic I'll call my court tomorrow Ah, it really is quite tragic But I must take my leave tomorrow To depart, my lord, brings me great sorrow But I've been called away so far ohhhh This is my pain. If you leave my palace without my permission, Sorcerer My brigade of witch hunters will hunt you down with their hounds Tomorrow morning you will assist me in magic for the benefit of my lords and ladies And if anybody laughs at me I will have you beheaded He will have you beheaded, Beheaded! Behea-ded! Crone! You are a witch, of course it's clear Your cackling has cost me dear But if you don't help me I'll have to reveal The identity you have tried hard to conceal And then you'll be the one in an awful ordeal When the king hunts you down You are a charlatan of guile Your games are deceitful and vile But if I don't help you I'll be in bind So I'll do as you ask, though I think it unkind Be the front for the gambit that you have designed Or the king hunts you/me down And if the king attempts a spell I cannot perform? That fool could not think of a trick that does not conform Oh what a lunatic is she/he She/he won't make a fool out of me! For I'll turn her in even after her aid He we'll ask I do magic that can't be displayed There'll be nothing to do to escape or evade When the king hunts her/him down the king hunts her/him down Decree! A royal decree! A decree That my lords and my ladies shall gather in court To watch me do magic for game and for sport I'll wow them to the nth degree as I issue this decree! Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here to witness a miracle Our king will perform feats of magic that will astound you! Ohhhh he will astound you! Oh he will astound you, astound you. Astound you! See that woman over there with the fancy hat I will make it disappear just like that! With an alakasplat! Look at that look at that look at that! There is no more hat! Oh your majesty show us more So your prowess we can adore evermore! See the stable over there, see my noble horse I will make him fly around with ease and force With a Floobadaflorce Of course of course of course! See the flying horse! There is power in your arm, so please show us one more charm Oh help me! Help me, oh powerful king! My dog has passed away this morning from an illness nobody could cure I beg you! I beg you, oh bring her back to me! Oh humblest of maidens, I will raise the dead Bring your pet back from the heavens, Have no dread With a Blabadabed! With a Blabadabed! Blabadabed! Why doesn't it work? Doesn't it work, work, work, work!? There, your majesty, there! I see her plain! There, your majesty, there! Your washerwoman Babbity is blocking your magic with her evil spells Somebody seize her! Babbity rabbity rabbity She is a witch of cunning power She thwarted the king's finest hour So we'll hunt her down and put her in her place Because wizards and sorcerers are a disgrace And all magical beings we seek to erase Oh we will hunt her down! We will hunt you down, hunt you down! What happened? Sorcerer she is your kind. Explain! Oh she has turned herself into a tree! I beg you cut her down, your Majesty! We'll chop her into dust, into debris It's the only way to kill a witch, you see. Fetch an axe at once for me And we'll chop down this evil tree Yes, yes you're right I do agree We must cut down this heinous tree Chop a chop a choppily, now we are rid of Babbity! And now our kingdom finally is purged of magic, we are free! Purged of magic we are free Fools! I am a dark witch of the night, I pleasure in your endless plight What makes me think that you can just kill me It takes more than a simple chop to make a witch or wizard drop You'd have to boil and distill me! And if you need the proof you can just chop up yonder wizard man I swear to you that he won't feel a thing Ohhhh! Just take the axe and give it a swing Yes, yes take the axe and give it a swing! No no! Please don't hurt me. Please have mercy! I lied, I lied to steal your riches I don't know any wizards or witches My plan went off without any hitches Until now! I beg you to Seize him! Somebody seize him! By chopping this poor witch in two a dreadful curse is placed on you Now with each one of us you try to hit You will feel an axe tear at your side, there will be nowhere you can hide And soon you'll wish that you'd just die of it No no! Please don't hurt me! Please have mercy! I'll issue out a proclamation Protect the wizards of the nation No more vilification We will give you a proper ovation Very good. But though you've now helped all her friends to Babbity you owe amends Yes, yes, I'll do whatever you desire Ohhhh! Here is what I require: A statue of poor Babbity, a token of my memory Erected on the palace grounds so every time you look around Reminds you of your foolishness, your idiocy and mulishness And one more thing, the statue mold- It must be made of purest gold! It will be made of purest gold Decree! A royal decree! All wizards and witches are now free to go We'll treat you as equals now apropos You can thank your Babbity, She bid me issue this decree Decree! Ohhhhh! [BUM BUM] Could you tell it again? You've only just heard it. Why do you need to hear it again? Because I like it! Oh, would you tell it again, Father? Please? I suppose you could tell it again. If you wanted. I did enjoy it, it was a good story. Even if it was about a girl. I think it's a bit late for that now. Orelin, I think it's time for you to go home... And, Amata, I think it's best that you went to bed. But, Father, I'm not tired. I promise I'm not! You're getting paler by the second. I won't become ill tonight. Tonight will be better! I swear I don't feel... Amata! Blood. Father, take her to her room. I'll fetch the healer. What does he mean blood? Orelin, walk with me, it's on the way. No. If Amata's ill, I want to stay with her. I suppose it's alright. I'll let your father know you're here. Don't worry, Amata. It'll be all right.