Annoying Orange - Annoying Orange Comedy Roast!

Captioned by SpongeSebastian -(Grapefruit) Daneboe proudly presents the Comedy Roast of the Annoying Orange. Here's your host, Pot Roast! -That's right, everybody, just the way your mother made it. What now? [laughter] It's great to be here tonight in the produce section. Seriously, there are a lot of vegetables here. Then again, it is YouTube, say what now? [laughter] But this is so exciting, really. When they told me to come down here and roast the Annoying Orange, I was like, "Heck yes, I love Snooki." [laughter] Seriously folks, the only thing worse than this gig was the time some guy shoved a thermometer up my rump. [laughter] But speaking of pain in the butt, where's our honored guest? [audience cheering] -[muffled speech] -What? I warned you not to sign that "gag" order. [laughter] -[groans] -Orange doesn't seem like himself tonight and I know what you're thinking: what an improvement. [laughter, Orange groans] What now? -You know, with Orange, there's no in-between. Either you think he's annoying or you hate his guts. [audience and Orange laughs] -I don't have anything bad to say about Orange; his face says it all. [laughter] -You know, we'll never forget the first time we met you, Orange. -Although we keep trying. [laughter, Orange groans] -Orange, sometimes you say things that make me feel small and sometimes you say things that make me feel insecure. I call those feelings the "cold pricklies." -Dude, are you gonna tell a joke or what? -A joke? I thought this was an intervention. [laughter] [Orange laughs] -Orange has no arms and legs. When he goes swimming, I like to call him Bob. [laughter] -Orange, when you talk, other people get hoarse just be listening. [laughter] -If I had a nickel for every time the Annoying Orange annoyed me, well I wouldn't need to find my pot of gold, now, would I? [laughter] I still want to though. -You guys want to hear my impression of Orange? [audience cheers] It sounds a little something like this. [grunts, blows raspberry] [laughs] Pretty good, right? [Orange groans] -You know, Orange is the kind of fruit you could use as a blueprint... to build an idiot. [laughter] -You have a lot of well-wishers here today, Orange. -[muffled]: Really? -Yep, a whole bunch of people that want to throw you down a well. [laughter] -Orange is no dummy. He didn't just fall off the turnip truck. Nope, the turnips pushed him. [laughs] [crickets chirp, Orange grunts "mm-mm"] Eh-heh-heh. Hey, is this thing on? [laughter] Mic check, mic check! -Hey Orange, Gilbert Gottfried called. He wants his laugh back. [laughter] -[laughs like Gilbert Gottfried] -Not you, moron. -Is that a spray tan? -[muffled speech] -Try using Coppertone, not Orange-glow. [laughter] -If Orange truly spoke his mind, he'd be speechless. [laughter] -Orange is so annoying that--[snoring] [laughter] -Nya-nya-nya-nya-nya, nya-nya-nya-nya-nya-nya. What's that all about? Huh? -You think you're Nyan Cat? Like if you do it long enough, you'll turn into a Pop-Tart and fly through rainbows? -Yay! I think Orange is great! -Marshmallow, you're doing it wrong. -Yay! -Yo, Orange is so clumsy that any dance he does is considered break-dancing. [laughter] [hip-hop beat plays] Whoo-hoo! -Orange is like a Christmastide-- loud and useless. [laughter] -Orange is so dumb, that he-- -Okay, like we say at the butcher shop, it's time to wrap it up. -Oh, come on, I was just getting started. -Yep, and now you're getting stopped... short. Wha... [laughter] We've had our fun; that's for sure, but now it's time for our silent partner to take a stab. -Mah! "Ducts" taste like plastic. [laughter] Bleh! -What's the matter, Orange? Don't feel like chewing the fat? -I don't know. It's just kinda nice that everyone could be here to celebrate our billionth view. Especially since most of them have already been killed, sliced, or exploded. [laughter] I guess all I really want to say is, "tanks" a lot. [walls shattering] [guests scream] Whoa! -Whoa, we're not late for the roast, are we? -I really do have an army of fans. [laughs] -[groaning] Oh, that Orange has a one-track mind. Am I right? [explosion] -Your jokes are the bomb, then I'm a nuke Want to go toe-to-toe? Duke-to-duke I'll come to your town, I will rock your world Slab you down, son, and steal your girl I'm Rapberry, son of a gun You're just a chump who loves to pump, whoo!