'The Motherhood' feat. Fiat 500L

This is my crib, and these are my babes, My life and body have somewhat changed I'm living it large, and by large I mean bigger, At least now I know the difference 'tween a tractor and a digger I express like the best from these holes in my chest, wear my nursing bra, like a bulletproof vest Got my *** by my side and my hose in the back, Swap my sexy handbag for a snot stained sack My decor was smart, my taste was extra picky Now my surfaces are cluttered, and nearly always sticky Work versus home is a mental combination with my elbows deep, in infant defecation Wipe the sick off my coat, but the smell still lingers Gave up on real food, eat leftover fishfingers Once we'd talk about our lives, now the conversation switches We compare cesarian scars episiotomy stitches It's the motherhood, it's another hood I'd like to welcome you, but now you're here for good We go from *** rash to ending family feuds And I'm flooding up your timeline with my baby news Still got my wardrobe ... but my thong now itches Designer sofa... but now there's puke in the stitches And I'm expressive, I express all the time 'Cos the doc said, to not breastfeed is a crime Tried to get my bod back with some yogalates Hit up the Zumba class swing by these new pilates I'm on an Atkins hype, on a Keto diet I try avoid the bread so I nearly never buy it Pop a *** on his butt without a changing matt CBeebies now my crew and I'm tight with Postman Pat Sleep deprived and under house arrest Think I'd sell both kidneys just to get some rest Spent three months in PJ's it was clearly a sign Joined a book club just so I could drink some wine My sterilisers so dope all my bottles be gleaming I got a blender out the back so I can start up the weaning It's the motherhood, it's another hood And once you're in the club, you're in for good. Go from fighting *** rash to endless doctor queues And I'm flooding up your timeline with my baby news. [FRIGHTENING / BELLY WOBBLING DRUM ROLL] [VIRTUOSO PIANO SOLO. THINK BILLY JOEL AGED 5] [AFTER TOO MUCH CALPOL] [SENSUAL BREATHY WHISPERS] Softplay, Gangster. More G. Than your average mother... I'm a school-run-taker, fairy-cake-baker, deal-maker, ***-faker, nit-raker, rattle-shaker, Cheese-grater, night-time-waker, I'm-a-placater, peacemaker