Dear Rageaholic # 5 - vs. Razörfist. capcom - Ultra super remix version edition

Via Failbook, Victor Freitas Asks, 'What is or was your favorite MMO?' It's times like these, like alot of you, I'm sure, that I sincerely wish I hadn't treated game discs as disposable commodities in the late '90s, because I was formerly the owner of the actual ***' game box, I assure you, but my favorite MMORPG to this day remains, without question, Asheron's Call. Something most Rageaholics likely don't know about me, given that I rarely touch on the subject of MMORPGs... is that I actually hit on the online gaming craze fairly early in its incubation period. I dabbled in Meridian 59, and I was actually an early subscriber to a service called 'GameStorm' back around... '96? '97? Basically the ***' deal with GameStorm was... you pay $15 bucks a month... and you get to play any one of a dozen or so massively multiplayer online games - from numerous genres - via the GameStorm service. Now at first glance, you might say 'Well, *** me sideways, that sounds just like GameFly', but what set GameStorm apart from any service that preceded or succeeded it... was that all of the software on GameStorm... was exclusive to that platform. Ever play a game called Multiplayer Battletech? Of course you ***' didn't, because you couldn't play that *** unless you subscribed to ***' GameStorm. And believe me, you wish you did, because that game rocked my ***' nuts for a fact. But a game that doesn't get mentioned nearly enough when discussing early MMORPGs is a GameStorm exclusive title that I personally sank countless hours into, and that's 'Legends of Kesmai'. It was 2D, isometric and grid-based, but... *** was it rad. I'm dating the *** out of myself, here, but I actually witnessed first-hand the evolution of the term 'noob', as early in the GameStorm days, for anyone who'd just hopped off the boat onto Multiplayer Battletech or Silent Death Online, the relevant colloquialism was the term 'newbie' and somewhere along the way that just full-on turned into 'noob', and 'newbie' just went the *** away. Now if you need me, I'll be swilling geritol and stewing my arthritic joints in epsom salts because I feel about 1,005 years old, right now. Via YouTube, Evan Robertson asks, 'Hey man, I've heard it mentioned in the past that you like space sims, thus I am wondering what thoughts (if any) do you have about the up-and-coming 'Star Citizen'? As with anything generated by the video game industry in the past 5 years - even, and perhaps even especially the crowd funded one - I find the most apropeau response is cautious optimism. Look, I like Chris Roberts. The Wing Commander series is one of the industry's crown jewels, and without it, you can kiss things like branching narrative and even basic things like cinematic ***' cutscenes right the *** goodbye. But... he's like the Judas Priest of video games. Sure, they cranked out 'Defenders of the Faith'. But they also pinched out a shapely, corn kernel-bespeckled log by the name of 'Nostradamus'. Concluding the analog, you may have made Wing Commander 4, Mr. Roberts. But you also directed the Wing Commander film adaptation, sir. And spouting utter pabulum like 'Star Citizen would not be possible on current-gen hardware'... while showcasing mind-blowing in-engine footage that wouldn't look at all out-of-place in Dead Space *** One?! It's not doing much to decrease the sensitivy of my *** detectors, Mr. Roberts. Sounds awesome. But I'll believe it when I see it. Via Failbook, Robert DeWitt Sando asks, 'What's some good Black Metal for beginners, besides Bathory and Darkthrone?' The first two *** records are some classic first-wave Black Metal. On the newer side, Judas Iscariot, especially the 'Heaven in Flames' and 'To Embrace the Corpses Bleeding' records. Hellhammer's entire three-demo discography. Finnish band by the name of 'Horna', particularly the 'Envatnaags Eflos Solf Esgantaavne' and 'Sotahuuto' albums (I won't even pretend I'm pronouncing either of those titles correctly, particularly since one of them is just ***' gibberish). Sargeist's entire discography... And, for one thing, Venom, ***. And nobody in the comments section give me that hackneyed *** of 'Oh, Venom only invented the term Black Metal, Bathory invented the music...' no, assload, Venom invented the music, too. Guttural vocals, tremolo guitar picking, ***, even blast beats is all *** there on the first three Venom records and demos as early as ***' 1979. If Bathory is Black Metal. [Play clip of 'Born for Burning'] ...then so is *** Venom. [Play clip of 'Don't Burn the Witch' by Venom] *** your ***, Metal-Archives.com. Via Tumblr, frostyhotsauce inquires, 'Two questions. 1. What is your favorite Pokémon?' Onix master race, ***. '2. What is your opinion on the Phantasy Star franchise?' With an upfront admission that I haven't played one since the days of the Sega *** Genesis, the classic Phantasy Star titles - that is to say, 1-4? I'd put them in the same stratosphere Breath of Fire currently inhabits. Which is oddly appropriate, because both franchises are deader than Betty White's rolodex. Phantasy Star IV was one of the most incredible video game conclusions I've ever encountered. Just a brilliant RPG on every conceivable level. If we're all very good, say our prayers, consume our vitamins, and sacrifice one child each to Shigeru Miyamoto's oily forehead and Meg Ryan haircut... instead of gimmicky, vapid trash like Demon's Souls being extolled as titans of the genre... one day... JRPGs will be as good as Phantasy Star IV and Breath of Fire II again. This I promise you, rageaholics. Via YouTube: JXZX1 asks... too many ***' questions, so let's lose at least one of the ***. Dear RazorFist, 1) What's your favorite written work, be it short story, novel, essay, etc? 1. Watership Down. Next. 2) How difficult was it for you to learn Japanese and French? How were you 'thought' those languages? 2. They were fairly 'thought'. Look, I wouldn't say I've learned French. I'm still very much learning it. But Japanese took about three years of high school study, with an additional two years in college, and I'm still learning. Remember: You only ever stop learning a language when you're content with sounding like the Japanese equivalent of the Irate ***' Gamer. Next! 3) Who's got the better fighters, SNK or Capcom? 3. Is this even a question? S-N-***'-K! Look, when you log your dumpy *** into GGPO, how many *** are congregated in the Street Fighter matchmaking rooms? Dozens? And in the King of Fighters rooms? What's that? Hundreds?! And all the *** in the King of Fighters rooms are from where? Are they from EVO? The kiddie pool of the tournament scene? The glorified Capcom advertising convention where Super Turbo - the game EVO was *** founded on - takes a backseat to Street Fighter X Tekken?! Where we make doubly ***' sure to feature SoulCalibur 5 because it's new and Namco's paying us a shitload of money, while simultaneously *** genuinely deep competitive experiences like Virtua Fighter 5: Final Showdown? No, these *** are from Korea and Japan, where they pass people like Mike Ross and Viscant around like a pack of cigarettes in the ***' pen. SNK wins. Flawless victory. Via Tumblr: UnboxedTV asked: When it comes to Nintendo's situation in today's gaming scene, why are there so many people convinced The Big N needs to go Third Party or develop for Smart Devices because of the apparent 'goldmine' in developing for a device that will barely last 9 months? Because everyone's an armchair analyst nowadays, myself very much included. What I hope separates myself from other, less reputable purveyors of the immutably obvious is that I routinely admit when I require further information to form a more cogent opinion from. Look at the swirlding maelstrom of negativity surrounding the Wii U, for example! For me, cultivating an opinion from the hostile soil of 2013's divebombing gaming market, much less from a sample as brief as six ***' months, is an exercise in ignorance. Nintendo survived the Virtual Boy, the Genesis / SNES console war, the N64, the Gamecube, and a third-party Nintendo drought that is rapidly approaching the ten year mark. They will survive their latest foray into the depths of commissary torment and emerge from the other side with enough cash to buy and sell you, me, and the entire IGN editorial board - for whatever brief duration that IGN manages to remain in *** business, that is, and they'll buy and sell us all well into the 22nd *** century. Nintendo is the New York Yankees of gaming. They aren't going any *** where. People counted them out after the Gamecube, and they responded with the most lucrative console launch of all time ('OF ALL TIME'... *ahem* Sorry). A console launch I'd hasten to remind you that we're only seven years *** removed from! It's not like with Sega, where the last vestiges of their waning relevance faded when the bit-count on current gen consoles outgrew the double-digits. We're less than 4 years removed from Nintendo's biggest successes. Which is half as long as the last time Sony was relevant. So shut the *** up and try doomsaying when there's some actual doom to ***' say. You *** hopped on the Xbox One hate bandwagon after one incredibly vague press conference while I shouted that I required more information... how'd that turn out for you, fuckbags? 'Oh, but we're just holding Nintendo's feet to the fire.' 'If we hadn't cried and ***' complained about the Xbox One, they never would have changed.' Yeah, ***? What do you suppose is more likely? That you throwing a bitchfit on Twitter changed the Xbox One? Or that the 1% drop in Microsoft's stock price a full day and a half before you hashed your first tag and leapt into the corral with the rest of the bleating sheep changed their mind, because unlike you, the stockholders actually own a *** piece of Microsoft, you gibbering, witless retards? I complained about Deus Ex: Human Revolution's ***-yellow highlight prior to that game's launch, and Eidos Montréal wound up making that feature optional. Arrogant and self-righteous as I am, I am not yet self-deceived enough to convince myself that my recording a *** VLOG on the subject is what ultimately changed Eidos' ***' mind for them. Poke your head up from the eunuch circle-jerk at 4chan and Reddit for five minutes... and then ask yourself if you changed a measley ***' thing. You're not holding Nintendo's feet to ***. The only thing on fire are your pants. You're a cranky mob, repleat with pitchforks, and the only purpose you serve is hoodwinking yourselves into believing you're doing something that actually ***' matters. I'm RazörFist. God - *** - SPEED!