Signed, Sealed, Delivered S1E6 - English Transcript

1 Previously, on Signed, Sealed, Delivered How was your ballroom dancing showcase on Friday? We were forced to cancel. This is an application for the "Miss Special Delivery" pageant! Oliver, she's not coming back. - How dare you? - This bird has flown, my friend. You may presume too much. This way. Got just what you're lookin' for. [Knocking] Solid oak. Lot of schools used 'em before the plant closed, in aught-seven. [Drawer thumps and rattles] It's stuck. Something's jammed in the track. [Thump] [Tailgate bangs] Where's Dillard? Retired. I'm taking over his route. Any outgoing? Nah. Oh, wait! I think maybe this is supposed to get somewhere. Not a problem. I know exactly who to give it to. Send me love every day and send me on my way Deliver me, just deliver me [] - Shane? - Hmm? If I'm returning to sender but the sender returned it to us, and then wrote "return to the returner," then [Speakers squealing] What was that? That is the new P. A. system they installed last night. [Glynis, on P. A. ]: Good morning. The time is 8:01 A. M. If you are not at your work station, please report to human resources for your exit interview. Additionally, there will be a cake and cookie reception 4:00 P. M. today in the employee break room to meet and greet the new Denver branch supervisor Glynis Rucker. - Thank you for your attention. - Who is that? The new Denver branch supervisor, Glynis Rucker. Ah. Wow. You people are hard to find. I mean, so far from everything. Who would've thought? You must be Rita. I've heard so much about you! My name is Kimmi. Kimmi Cooper! Anyway, I have a letter. This guy on my route found it, but the address is mostly missing, so. Ah! Okay. Thank you. It's Shane. Shane McInerney. - You didn't have to - Where's Rita? Oh. Here! [Forced chuckle] Rita! You are the talk of the sorting floor. Everyone is so excited that you are trying out for "Miss Special Delivery. " - They are? - [Kimmi]: You are so adorable! [Kimmi chuckles] Oh! I have to know, what are you doing for your talent? - What are you gonna wear? - Ooh Was that a little weird? Dead letters are processed before we get them, right? Mail carriers don't just walk them through the door? Well, actually, there are several methods within Rhetorical question, Norman. Ah-hah! I knew it! Something with lace and some frills, but Thank you Kimmi. We can take it from here. See you, Rita. I just know we are going to be best friends! [Both giggling] Rita She's not your friend. Take a look at this. This was shot at the Boise "Miss Special Delivery" auditions last month. It's Kimmi? And her tuba? [Key clacks] [Kimmi plays the tuba, flat and stilted] She was here scouting out her competition. Who? You, Rita! [Gasps] Morning, all. I apologize for my tardiness. I was doing some house cleaning, and I kept finding things to throw out. It's funny How, once you start It's hard to stop. Now, for those of you not yet informed, Ms. McInerney, on her own impressive initiative, employed her vast technological skills to determine that my wandering wife is quite content in her current circumstances in Paris. I assure you, I am fine. Whatever loss I do feel is, of course, tempered by the words of Shakespeare "Loss is nothing else but change, and change is nature's delight. " I stand before you Delighted. [Troubled sigh] Poor Oliver. He is a mess! Really? I thought he seemed pretty - Did you see his tie? - What about it? The knot. It was a four-in-hand. Oliver uses a full windsor on Wednesdays. And that Shakespeare quote about change? That's not Shakespeare! It's Marcus Aurelius. Who's gonna tell him? There. Let's move on to the business of the day, hmm? Ms. McInerney? Would you, uh Perhaps do the honor of selecting a letter? Me? Oh uh Yeah. Y Uh okay. Most of the address has been torn away. There's no postmark or return address. A "liberty bell forever" stamp. Mm. A design first issued in 2007. It means the letter could have been written as long ago as seven years, or as recently as yesterday. The blessing and the curse of the "forever" stamp. [Norman]: Block lettering. I'd say this was addressed by a child of eight to nine. Ooh Purple. A girl? So Even if this was written seven years ago, the author would be 15 or 16 now? Precisely. And no doubt on the cusp of losing their naive and unmerited trust in both the people and institutions in which they once placed their faith. Let's do our best to not hasten that loss of innocence, shall we? Ahem. "Dear Mrs. Richards do you remember me? "I hope so. "My favorite color is purple. "I hate math, it makes my head hurt, "and I love stars, but more than anything, I love flowers. " "Hey! You're married!" [Chuckles] "You were a beautiful bride. "I know that's true, "because your dad told you "that you were the most beautiful bride "he had ever seen. "Even Bobby said the flowers in your hair made you look like an angel. " Okay. I have 2,037 "Robert" or "Bobby Richards" in the Western States. - Doesn't really narrow it down much. - "You're so lucky to have Bobby. He is so-o-o-o handsome. " "I'll bet all your friends are jealous. "Remember to be nice to Bobby. "Don't be bossy. "He just wants to take care of you. "Oh, and I hope you're dancing. Under the stars. "With flowers falling down. Because when I close my eyes, that's how I see you. " "Love, Ellie. " Oh, and there's a P. S. "If I'm wrong about what I wrote, "you have to change it. Now! "And if anyone tries to stop you, just say, 'no! This is my life!!'" That's with two exclamation points and lots of underlining. If only we could make things true by underlining their importance, huh? This wasn't properly processed, hmm? Oh. Uh, Kimmi brought it in personally. Then you speak with Kimmi. Personally. [Hushed]: Oh. Okay. "Boulder Jones' Furniture Warehouse. " - Got it. Thanks. - Anytime. Uh, hey. Look. I know how these "Miss Special Delivery"-type pageants go. Really? - How's that? - Oh, well, you know, backstabbing, stealing secrets, pretending to be someone's friend just so you can undermine them. - We've all been there. - Is that so? And what kind of a pageant have you been in? Oh, well, it was a robotics competition. Ahem. But the, uh, politics are all the same. - If you say so. - I do. So do yourself a favor. - Don't mess with Rita. - [Snickers] "Newsflash!" Rita is near-sighted and she dresses like a refugee from Les Misérables. She hasn't even declared a talent for the talent section 'cause I'm guessing that she probably doesn't have one. Why would I mess with her? She's already lost. Ahem. I wonder how Norman's doing at the furniture store. It's his first solo investigation. I'm sure he's fine. Just thought maybe it's too soon. It's never easy to push one's protege out of the nest, Ms. McInerney, but Norman is ready to spread his wings a little, and I think this is a good test flight for him. [Inhales deeply] Oliver, is everything okay with us? Us, Ms. McInerney? Well, maybe I'm just being silly, but, um You feel distant to me. From me. I'm right here. As are you. Uh There's no distance. Okay. Oh, you have a little something Rita! Oh! I've been doing some checking around. Kimmi is a branch-hopper. She goes from branch to branch, just to audition for "Miss Special Delivery. " Wow! She sounds very goal-oriented. I admire that. But she has underestimated you. You are gonna give her a run for her money. You are gonna be chosen to represent this branch, and I'm gonna help you. So tell me besides Kimmi, who else is competing? Just one other person. Vivinee Rucker? "Rucker"? The new supervisor's name is Glynis Rucker. You don't suppose ? [] All route transfer requests not received by 3:00 P. M. will be rolled into the next quarter. No exceptions. None. Zero. Thank you. That's right. Vivinee's my baby. She, uh, works graveyard shift, up in processing. She's thinking of "Miss Special Delivery," huh? Oh! She's more than thinking! This has been a dream of hers since she was a little girl. [Barks]: Bob! Spit out that gum! [Grumbling sigh] Kids grow up so fast. Yeah, just the other day, I was asking her if I could help her with her audition and, uh Do you know what that little girl said to me? She said, "that's okay, mom. I need to do this on my own. " - Precious. - [Sighs] Yeah. Yeah, I'd do anything for my daughter. Anything. [] Oh, hold on, Norman. Ms. McInerney just arrived. Perhaps it'd be best if you told her yourself. Oh, and Norman, good work. I'm proud of you. What do you got for me, Norman? [Norman]: Bill of sale says the desk was sold at an auction six years ago by the Longmont, Colorado, school district. Great. So, if we can narrow it down to a specific classroom and teacher Already done. Well, the first part, anyways. There's a metal plate on the desk that reads, "Longmont, 145, R. M. H. S. " "R. M. H. S. " - "Rocky Mountain High School. " - Classroom number 145. Norman, you're my hero. - [Class bell rings] - Let's see. Six years ago, this classroom was Ms. Hinkle's. English Literature. Can we speak with her, please? Oh, she retired. The letter was intended for a "Mrs. Bobby Richards. " Perhaps you could tell us if anyone by that name has been employed by the school district? No. No one by that name. Well, we may have erred, Ms. McInerney. Made assumptions we shouldn't have. Like what? Oh, that Ellie ever went to school here. We're in a high school classroom. The penmanship of the letter clearly indicates a much younger writer. It might be time to admit defeat and move on. Oliver. The desk we traced was in that classroom. This letter was in that desk. This is most definitely not the time to admit defeat. It must be nice to possess such certainty. You know, it just occurred to me we had a student, he graduated about five years ago. His name was Bobby Richards. Do you know where we can find him? I do, actually. - Rita, dear - Oh [Sighs] Oh, my baby girl really wants to be Miss Special Delivery. Oh, well, I couldn't imagine anyone who wouldn't want to be Miss Special Delivery. Yes, but my Vivinee, ooh She wants it more than anything. It would just kill me to see her disappointed. [Chuckles] So. If either you, or that big snoop Shane, gets in the way of my baby having what she wants I'm gonna squash you like a bug. [] Do have a nice day now. Well, Ellie wrote in the letter that she hopes Mrs. Richards loves flowers, and here we are, in a flower shop. More than a coincidence? Or just good detective work. [Ding] Hello! - Hi! - I'm Bobby. Welcome to "Blooms'N'Hugs. " These are the blooms And these are the hugs. Oh! How can I help you? Are you Bobby Richards? - Yes. - And this is your shop? Why? You have a problem with a guy owning a flower shop? No. No! Not at all. Actually, my mom and dad own it, but I'm the flower guy. Do you need flowers? Oh, Mr. Richards, I am Oliver O'Toole. This is my colleague, Ms. McInerney. We're from the United States Postal Service and we have a letter to deliver to a "Mrs. Bobby Richards. " Is that your wife? Or mother, perhaps? Well, I'm not married, and my mom's name is Mrs. Paul Richards. Is that the letter? Yes. Yes, it is. Ellie? Can you come out here for a second? Ellie? That's that's who wrote this letter. I know! I recognize the handwriting. It's impossible to read. Ellie? Yeah? What's up? Um These people want to ask you about a letter you wrote. My letter! You have my letter! Uh, unfortunately, Ellie, although you wrote the letter, we have to try and deliver this to a "Mrs. Bobby Richards. " [Shane]: Do you know where we could find her? This is so embarrassing. [Takes a breath, sighs] I'm "Mrs. Bobby Richards. " But The two of you aren't married, right? Or a are you? It's complicated. [Bobby chuckles]: It's Complicated. So, when did you become Mrs. Bobby Richards without telling me? Since the future. Mrs. Bobby Richards is who I am in our future. It will be our future, but not until your mom and dad say it's okay. - May I see the letter, please? - Oh, sure. Um I apologize for it being late. When were you supposed to get it? I think Ms. Hinkle said 10 years Seven years ago. So that would be So the assignment is to write a letter to your future self. Where do you want to be 10 years from now? What do you want to be doing? Who do you want to be with? Close your eyes. See yourself there. And write a letter to that person. Put your letter in the envelope and address it, and give it back to me at the end of the period, and I promise to mail them back to you in 10 years. So when you open your letter in 2017, you'll be able to compare where you are to where you thought you'd be. And if you're not where you thought you'd be Maybe this letter's the kick in the pants you'll need. [Class laughing] [Ellie's voice]: Dear Mrs. Richards Do you remember me? "I hope so. " "Remember to be nice to Bobby. Don't be bossy. " - [Playfully]: Mm! - "He just wants to take care of you. " That's true. I do. - [All chuckling] - Keep reading! - I want to hear some more. - It's just mushy stuff. Blah-blah-blah. "Love, Ellie. " "And P. S. , if I'm wrong about what I wrote " You have to take me home, Bobby! I have to do something. Right now. Ellie, I can't, I gotta work. I have deliveries. You can be so frustrating sometimes! We could take you. Isn't that right, Mr. O'Toole? [Whispers]: Yeah. Mr. Kempert? Hi. I'm Shane. We spoke on the phone. Dad, we have to talk. Now. [Mr. Kempert]: Okay. Let's start with why you asked these people to bring you home. Because they brought me my letter back. Sir, I'm Oliver O'Toole from the United States postal service I wrote it and I have to marry Bobby. - Well, um can I see it? - No! Can I marry Bobby or not? His parents say it's okay. Okay, Ellie, look. We've talked about this, and Mom! I want to get married! I don't want to talk about it anymore! And it hurts when you talk to me like I'm a baby. Look, I'm sorry, Ellie, but please, could we go inside No! This is my life! My life! I'm getting married, and you can't stop me! Thank you for bringing her home. I appreciate it. It might not be my place Ms. McInerney, do you have children? No. I don't. Thanks for caring, though. [Shane sighs] Please keep in mind, Ms. McInerney although I have learned to indulge your habit of inserting yourself into people's lives, others who do not know you may not. We did our job. We delivered the letter. Hello. Good evening. Healthy. Here's my first song. [Plays guitar] Thank you, everybody. Thank you. I've been thinking about Miss Special Delivery You're auditioning, too? No, Rita. I want to help you. - Oh! - You need a strategy. Let's begin with an honest self-appraisal assess your strengths and weaknesses. How would you rate your sorting skills for the compulsories? - Pretty good, I think. - Okay. Great. 'Cause you're kind of on your own with that. Sorting is more your thing. What about poise and appearance? Well, the judges ask each of us a question, but we don't know what it is until we get there. My advice on that is keep your answer short. Don't think, or talk Or think too much. [] Is someone helping you with your hair and makeup? I need hair and makeup? Moving on to talent. - Okay - What is it? Oh. Well, I finally took Norman's advice, and I memorized the 2014 postal code. Go ahead. Ask me anything. Page 396? Okay. "Section four, subsection 56 "deliveries going to carnivals, circuses, "or transient attractions: All letters should " Okay, got it! Good. That should be enough to beat old "tuba-lips" Kimmi. Now, the only question mark is Vivinee. [Woman singing]: For me and my gal - the birds are singing - Who's that? - for me and my gal - [Rita]: Wow She's really good. Ladies. How do you like my baby's singing? knowin' to a weddin' they're That's Vivinee? Sure is. See you around. Every Suzie and Sal [Together]: they're congregatin' for me and my gal [Defeated sigh] Uh Let's talk some more about poise and appearance, shall we? For me and my gal Gentlemen, it is my distinct privilege and pleasure to present to you the next Miss Special Delivery Miss Rita Haywith! [] [] Posture. Well? Aren't you going to say something? Rita, uh, there is ahem, indeed a reason for our prolonged silence. You have, in fact, taken our breath away. [Gasps] Thank you, Oliver. [Shane]: We did a little hair thing A little make-up thing. A little everything. What do you think, Norman? [] [Fan whooshing] I think you look like a different person. [Whispers]: I know. But I'm not. - Oh. - [Chuckling] Mr. Garrett, thank you again for those packets transfers. - Oliver? - Hmm? I know yesterday you said once we deliver Ellie's letter, our job is done. It's really not. Well, I suppose that argument could be made, but it's a moot point now. Actually, not so moot. Mr. O'Toole. Ms. McInerney. - Mr. Kempert. - It's Ellie. She's gone. So is Bobby. I think they've run off to get married. What can we do to help? I need to know if there's anything in that letter that could tell us where they could've gone. Any chance you remember any of it? "And I hope "That you're dancing, "under the stars, "with flowers falling down. "'Cause when I close my eyes that's how I see you. " That was our wedding. Ellie's mom and I got married in this beautiful restored barn, up in Eldora. It was the same place where Ellie's grandparents got married. It had lights hanging from the rafters. As we danced, our guests threw flowers. Ellie, she thought it sounded magical. If Ellie wanted a wedding just like yours, with lights and flowers Then maybe Is there someone we can call to see if she's up there? No. It's just an old barn. There's no record of a marriage license being granted, but if they just submitted it, it wouldn't be in the system yet. Well, Rita and I can go to city hall and check. I'm gonna drive up to the barn. Okay. Follow my lead. Excuse me. My fiancee and I would like to get married. - Really? - Yes! We would. And we'd like to know if this is the correct place to obtain a marriage license. Don't we? So this young lady is your fiancee? Yes I am. You're Uh, you're a lucky man. No, no, I'm the lucky one. Well, you know, luck is a funny thing So fill these out and bring them back. Uh, the thing is, we were supposed to meet another couple here Bobby Richards and Ellie Kempert. Could you tell us if they've been here yet? - A double wedding? - Uh y-yeah. Double trouble! [Both giggling] Ellie? Ellie? This is it. This is where Leslie and I got married, right here. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they didn't come here to get married. [Phone rings] Excuse me. Hello? Oh, hey, Norman. What do you got? Okay. Okay, great. Thanks. They did get a marriage license. [Sighs] Well, you both must think I'm a horrible father. We're in no position to judge, Mr. Kempert. Well, that's kind of you to say. What's that? That's a yoke. It's, uh, like a harness that joins oxen or horses together. It equalizes the weight when they're pulling a plow or any kind of heavy load. Oh Well, I don't know much about farming. Or parenting, it seems. Well, you learn as you go. Before Ellie was born, the doctor told us that we were gonna have a child with down syndrome. You know what my thought was? "Run. " "Get away. " You were scared. And you didn't run. No. I thank God every day I didn't. Ellie's the most precious, wonderful daughter in the world. Not a burden, a gift. Mr. Kempert I may be the last person to consider myself an expert on what true love looks like, but With Bobby, I see patience and sensitivity A gentle sense of humor, and this protective kind of wisdom All the qualities I'd imagine that a father would want in a son-in-law. [Phone vibrating] It's my wife. She's found her. [Relieved sigh] Ellie. Where have you been? I have been up in Eldora, waiting and waiting for you at that barn. - I've been worried sick about you. - What were you doing at the barn? Well, isn't that where you're getting married tonight? Yeah. But not tonight. Not without you! Well, then why did you ? There's no wedding date on the license, Mark. It's good for 30 days. They just wanted to show us they're serious. We are serious. So am I. I'm very serious. You are not ready to get married, Ellie. - Not tonight, not in 30 days. - Then when? When, daddy? Ever? Honey - I just don't know - But I know! I know. When you love somebody, you marry them. Right, Shane? Uh S-someday - Maybe. - I hate "someday"! Come on. Let's go get married now. Not like this, Ellie. But don't you want to marry me? I do want to marry you! But I don't want to do it like this, without everybody's support. Everybody. [Voice breaks]: Does that mean no? [Cries out]: I quit! Ellie! I knew it was a mistake to let her work here. My customers don't think so. Bobby? Did Ellie arrange that? [Quiet chuckle] She does all the ones with stars. That's her signature. [Astonished chuckle] They're They're beautiful. - I'm I'm really sur - Surprised? I'm used to people who look at me, and they don't understand. They don't understand who I really am. They don't understand what I can really do. [Voice shakes]: But when Ellie When Ellie looks When Ellie looks at you Suddenly You feel like somebody understands. Yes. Remember the yoke you showed us in that barn? What you said about pulling together, sharing the load? There's a song that I love One of the lines was, "A man shall leave his mother, "and a woman leave her home. "They shall travel on to where the two shall be as one. " I believe it works best when the two are equally yoked, Mr. Kempert. I believe Ellie and Bobby are Let's face it. We have a lot in common. [Quiet chuckle] I really messed things up. Didn't I? [Laughs] Well, welcome to my world. [Chuckles] - There you are. - Where's Rita? - I was gonna help her with her makeup. - She's in the ladies' convenience. Well, it starts any minute. She's cutting it very close. Rita! Where's your dress? And your makeup? Your Your everything? I'm wearing my everything. I I don't understand. I really appreciate your help, I do, but the problem is, is that Well, if they see the new me, they won't see the real me. We see you, Rita. I can think of no one to better to represent all that is good and honorable in this institution. You walk into that room tonight knowing that we are all so proud of you. [Quietly]: To thine own self be true. I'm sorry, Rita. - I was just trying to help you win. - Oh, I know you were. This is this is the only way I know how to. Besides, with friends like you guys I feel like I've - I've won already. - Well, then go get 'em! Oh! [Laughs] Okay! [] Break a leg And I mean Break a leg. "Bug. " [] I forgot to tell you something. What? I-I've started taking a lip-reading class. Huh. Yeah. And, um, sometimes, it comes in real handy. That's very interesting, Norman, but I have to You know, my favorite bug is the dryococelus australis. People in the South Pacific, they refer to it as a "tree lobster. " - Do you know why? - Why? Because it has a hard, lobster-like exoskeleton, that makes it virtually unsquashable. How do you not like a bug like that? [Giggles] [Sighs] Norman, you always know what to say. [Judge]: Ahem. Excuse me? If we could have the contestants please take their places? Thank you. And now we're ready to begin our compulsory sorting competition. Where's Ms. Haywith? I'm right here, your honor. - Oh! - No. No skates. That's cheating. Well, now, the rules do state that entrants are encouraged to be creative and to use their ingenuity, so we will allow it. [Rita]: Oh! Ladies To your marks. [Blows whistle] [] [] [] Yeah! [Laughing] [Crowd cheering] [Judge]: Ms. Haywith, the scores indicate that after your talent and compulsory events, you are currently in second place. Good luck. Our question for you is this We live in a changing world, and the future of the postal service and of mail delivery itself is threatened. What words of encouragement can you share with your fellow employees? Well, I-I think [Glynis coughs] [Rita stammers, words catch] [Norman]: Ahem. [Quiet chuckle] Some people think that the post office is a relic of the past, just waiting to be squashed like a bug by its new competition. But you know what? Bugs can surprise you. I think we can learn a lot from the South Pacific tree lobster. It's not beautiful, like a butterfly. It can't create whole societies like an ant, or spin webs and trap you like a spider. To tell you the truth, I don't know what it can do. But I know what it can't do. Its shell is so tough, that it can't be squashed. Once you know how strong you are, that no matter how tough it gets, you can't be squashed, you stop worrying about all the things you can't do, and you start dreaming about the things that you can do. Yes! [Crowd applauds] Just a little bit further, honey. Almost there. [Oliver]: Okay. You can open your eyes now. [People applauding] [] Whoa [Chuckles] He is now to be among you Dad! - You're here! - Somebody had to bring the stars tonight. Rest assured this troubadour is acting on his part The union of your spirits here has caused him to remain for whenever two or more of you are gathered in his name there is love there is love I love you. I love you, too, dad. I do believe you are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. Well, a man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one as it was in the beginning is now until the end woman draws her life from man and gives it back again and there is love We never did get to have our dance, did we? There is love No. Do you think we could remember the steps? We could give it a try. Oh, there's love