Friends

Hey guys. It is hot outside today. It is so hot so came here and got out of the office a little bit and getting a little Frappuccino and a little cake. You know, its kind of the thing do you; I actually came here with my friend and kind of the thing you do with a friend is come hang out at the local coffee shop. I need a napkin; I'll just use my pants. Typical guy thing. But its kind of the thing you to with a friend is good to the local coffee shop and you know I get comments and questions about friends on a pretty regular basis. You know I have people say, "you don't have any friends, or you I don't have any really good friend;" or they'll kind of be down on themselves. You know, I had and a young guy that I've been helping that was upset. I actually had another guy like the next day asked me the same thing. But this this young man, he hadn't been asked out to dinner with his friends and hang out. You know, I can remember back years ago when I had just left the homosexual lifestyle or even before that, when I was just growing up and I didn't really have any real friends, but especially after a walked out of homosexuality. You know, I kind of had to start over in my friendships and that's hard. You know, maybe you're there, maybe you you don't have that many friends um you know I have talked about him past in up video and written blogs about going up to guys and meeting them. You know, it can be hard to make new friends, you know especially around this issue homosexuality, same-sex attractions. You you think that everybody would reject you, that they wouldn't have anything to do with you if they knew what you struggle with. You know, I had a guy come into the office just yesterday. His family just found out. He had always feared that if his family found out that they would reject him. Well, it turned out that they didn't rejected him. But back onto friendships. You know, we can look at it very self centered and think, like I said, we don't have any friends, "I don't have any friends, no body wants to be my friend, people don't ask me out to dinner." Well let's think about this from a Christ perspective. You know, Christian means Christ-like. Do we really believe that Jesus would have thought "You know, I don't have any friends." You know, well everybody wanted to be Jesus's friend, the way we read the Bible, it seems. He seemed to be a very charismatic individual. You know, you can think, "well that was Jesus," you know. You can look at a person today that is very charismatic. You might think I'm very charismatic in my mannerisms and how I engage people. Well, actually I am but I didn't used to always be that way. You know, change, really does mean change. If you want your life to change to alter from where he is today you're gonna have to change. One of the best books I ever read on friendships is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Now that might sound like a manipulative book that you might not be interested in but it is actually quite the contrary; its actually written to get us out of ourselves centeredness that really we all are so self centeed. If you ask any of my really close friends they'll talk to you that I don't really ask them that many questions about themselves I'm all about vomit of the mouth talking about what's going on in my life, what stresses are going on what's going on in the ministry, all this different stuff, whether I worked out or not, somebody that I don't know... You know, just somebody in the coffee shop, name Tommy that I was just talking to. He works at the gym I go to, said, "hey how you doing? Did you work out cause I didn't see you in the gym this morning I, people that I'm not really close to you know I ask them their name, I ask them questions. How to Win Friends and Influence People teaches you how to do that, teaches you how to engage people in conversation and really not worrying about yourself, not worrying about if people ask you questions about yourself because I really do believe that that is the Christ attitude to have. Its not, "I don't have any friends, why won't anyone be my friend." But instead, to ask yourself this one question every day. "Who can I be a friend to today?" "Who can I show love to today?" "Who can I show kindness to today?" Rather than worrying about what everybody thinks about me and will anyone call me. instead, "Who can I call? Who can I bless? Who can I encourage?" Who cares if you don't ever see them again but, instead maybe the Holy Spirit is puts you in that person's life, for just that moment to encourage them, you know maybe you'll have a bunch of friends, instead of worrying about somebody being your best friend and taking care of all of all your friendship needs. You know, instead of sitting at home waiting for somebody to invite you to dinner how bout call ask somebody else to dinner. You know, maybe you don't have anybody else to call. Maybe you're at a college campus. How bout go get your food, go sit down with somebody who's sitting by themselves and say may I sit with you and get to know that person. Or sit with a bunch a people and ask everybody's name at that table get to know them all and you know if you see those people again say hey John, Hey Mary. If you can't remember If you know you met them but you can't remember their name, say I'm sorry I can't remember your name, what's your name? "Mary." "McKrae." I do that all the time and that's cool, you know. You know, I really hope this encourages you to make friendships. Friendships are so important. I don't know what I would do without the friends that I have especially the men in my life. You know, I'm always calling and asking them, "What do you think about this, or I'm stressed, or how are you doing?" I hope this encourages you to be a friend to someone rather than just sit at home and say I don't have any friends. I love you guys and I hope you have a great day.