Balanced View Silfan Rhys - Jones - Great fortune - 4.28.13

So Balanced View, is a support system to help us see that, the thoughts and emotions that we've taken to be hurdles or, challenges are actually just aspects of our ability and power to be of benefit in the world. And that's a huge oversimplification, but that's largely what, what Balanced View is here. And there's many ways of coming to know within ourselves, that we are not at the whim of our thoughts, emotions and experiences. We call all thoughts, emotions and experiences data, just to have a simple word to refer to any experience that we have. And one example of that was yesterday I was speaking to Kathy. It's so nice to sit next to you Kathy. And I was saying, “Yeah, it's funny Kathy, I just, the last couple of days, it's happened a few times since I've been teaching; the last couple of days I just feel like, I’ve lost the ability to speak.” And she said, “Oh, yeah, that's great, would you like to do the open meeting tomorrow?” So, yeah, but, there's different skillful means for recognizing that, essentially we make up our limitations. It's funny when I, sometimes I sort of catch myself with a memory that I have of my past, where I'm sort of sharing something about my past with somebody and then afterwards I'm just like, “Wow, I'm lying! I'm lying! That was, I exaggerated, I totally exaggerated that.” You know, and maybe for innocent reasons like, so that it's interesting or so that I'm interesting or something like that. But I realized, if you do that enough, then your memory actually changes. You know, if you tell a story a certain way enough times, then then that's just what you remember. So, it's incredible to come to see that, you know, even just with very simple things, for example, “Oh, I felt depressed when I woke up this morning.” So, that's fair enough, that's something that the person you're speaking to can probably understand and relate to and I'm sure they can empathize with it, and, but did you really wake up with depression, or are you just making it up? And so I don't mean this in a dismissive way, you know, to suggest that, depression doesn't exist. But does it exist? Like it's a serious question to ask ourselves. Can you ever find it anywhere? Next time you wake up, can you ever find depression in reality? Or can you only find it in your memory? Do you ever feel depressed now? Can you find this depression? You know, “Maybe I need to look in the back of my mind.” Well what am I even talking about? What is my mind? Where is my mind? And if you really look you see well, my mind is everywhere. Wherever there is stuff, that's where mind is. So mind pervades all stuff—all data. And it's a little bit startling, you know, to really get real with ourselves, and see, “Yes, incredibly, yes I have been making it up.” You know, and it takes a while to get used to that. And that's why we emphasize to take it gently, to walk one step at a time, and to be gentle with ourselves and to be supported to allow ourselves to be guided by people who are assured, of the innate freedom of their mind. And yeah, it's really incredible and such a blessing that the instruction is so simple, it really is. Like just short moments, repeated many times, allowing everything to be as it is. And it can be that the instruction is so simple and so agreeable, that we forget to actually do it. And that was certainly my experience a lot where, I remember one open meeting about two years after I'd started coming to Balanced View, Trainings, and I was like, full on, I loved it from the beginning. So I was as involved as possible, you know. And two years of going to meetings and, and then I just realized, “Oh my god!” I've been sitting here this, like, I love short moments, it makes total sense to me, and I whole-heartedly subscribed to its wisdom, and I agree with it and I recommend it to everybody. And then I'm just like, “Oh, I need to take short moments, me, take short moments! It's not just a good idea. Ah, okay.” And of course I had been taking short moments, you know, whenever I remembered and felt able. But, it was also funny for me to recognize that, because I was so used to hearing it, and it was so agreeable to me, that I wasn't actually doing it. You know, all I've been hearing people talk about short moments, so, I must be taking short moments. So then, just several times I remember, you know, in just a really common situation, taking a short moment and going, “Wow, I've never actually done that in this situation before. I've thought about doing it a lot but I've never actually just relaxed.” And, it's amazing how it affects the way we speak and the way we act, when we just hang loose, uncontrived, unforced. I remember one time in the car with my father, driving, and there's just this really normal sense of, I don't even know how to explain it, but just, just two human beings sitting together and sort of this, just very subtle kind of, “Mmm, I better think of something interesting to say.” And, you know, and “I'm a person and my dad's a person and we're in a car and we're driving and probably I should say something interesting.” Just these kinds of things that I didn't have ever even noticed that I have such a boring time in my mind, thinking about things like that. And then I was just like, “I can take a short mo,” like it was a revelation to me. “I can just take a short moment!” I was, I couldn't believe it. And I'd been doing the Training for three years, you know, intense, telling other people to take short moments and loving every moment of it. And, and it's amazing. So then I was just relaxed. Just, “Wow, I can just relax. Nothing needs to be done.” And so I just did, I rested deeply. And what I said to my father then was just, it freaked us both out, because it was just, yeah I was, you know, when we take short moments it, somehow it makes us very real. You know, we're not so intent on overlaying reality with the data that we think we should have, like being funny, being interesting, being sarcastic, being superior, being inferior. All of these are preoccupations. And when we relax, then we're just real. And yeah, I said something to him like, “Why do you think you have served me so perfectly my entire life?” And we're both just like? So in that moment, that was what was clear to me. “Wow, this man sitting next to me, my entire life he has served me. Isn't that amazing? Wow!” Like just because it is kind of normal that, “Oh yeah, well parents are supposed to, blah, blah, blah.” But no, like, he's a human being, and he has served me my entire life. Like, when I was just contributing nothing. All I could do was poo myself and eat food. That was all I knew how to do, that was the extent of my contribution. And, you know, he was just continuously doing things for me. So that was kind of a different conversation than just going, “Oh, yeah, the rugby and, yeah, the rugby match,” and stuff. Which is also beautiful, but it's nice to just cut through every, all the ***, you know? And just speak to each other as if it's the last time we ever will, because that's really what we want to do. There's something very dissatisfying about relating any other way. And to rely on open intelligence and the Mainstays, it just brings us back into alignment, you know, where we're not anymore distracted by the way we've been taught, innocently taught to behave. Nobody's intentionally given us, you know, any example that isn't beneficial; but just through having not been educated in the nature of mind, we have no choice, we have no idea what the solution is. And how sad is that? So it's great, great fortune to be here together, incomprehensible fortune. And, you know, if this is the first time we've come and heard about the Teaching and about the support that's available, I would really recommend to just take it one step at a time, gentle, gentle. And like you heard Candice say, there's so much free talks and books on the website. When I first came, and when I went home, that's what I did, I just had talks on all day, while I was doing whatever I was doing, the washing up or cooking; I just had talks on, and it just kept that instinctive recognition, just gradually becoming more familiar to me. Everything that Candice was sharing in the talks, just slowly, slowly was becoming my own experience. And it was such a huge support to me, I can't tell you what a support it was. And I was so grateful that it was all just there for free. I didn't have to do anything but just go on to the website, download it, and there it was. So I'd really recommend that. And if you live in Bristol, that's wonderful, because we have, obviously, this beautiful community here. And we have meetings every week that you can come to, and just to get more of a feel for what this is in your own experience. And we can help you with what the next steps might be if you want to, if you want to take those next steps as well. So, thank you very much, everyone.