Nero Wolfe Mystery, A S1E7 - English Transcript

Would you like some advice? Lon, shut shut Up? Thank you. Please, just play, please, today. Could you please bet? I'll see you. Call. Call. Call. Okay, what have you got? A pair of fives with an ace, high. Oh, boy. Whoa. Kings and queens. Full house. Sure is. That beats the three deuces three deuces that I stayed in with. Come to papa. It's your deal. Why do you always do that? What? You lose, you keep losing, and yet you bet. You know why? You can lead a *** to culture but you can't make her think. Ante in, please. Yeah, who's not in? Guess. Yes. Those are Mr. Wolfe's colors. Uh, yeah, an apology of sorts. What, he gave that to you? "Gave" is too strong a word. No, it appeared on my desk with no note, after we closed the Sorell case. The ace means that you have to open the bet Wait a minute. You're talking about the Sorell extravaganza? This is the this is the tie? No, no, this is not, uh, the tie. It's a reasonable facsimile. Huh. Nobody ever explained how that tie happened to get there and I asked. Yeah, you did, well Now the truth can now be told, see. It got there because my boss is a schlampick. Uh, a schlampick. Are you going to be a while? Oh, yes, he will. A minute, a minute. You see, the whole thing never would have happened if he hadn't left it on the desk. It all started at lunch. Wolfe splashed a drop of sauce from the spareribs right on his tie. Wolfe can't stand a spot on his clothes even in private, so he removed it and left it on his desk. I continued to dedicate my time to glaring at the necktie until the doorbell rang at 5:20. On the doorstep I found Bertha Aaron, private secretary of Lamont Otis, who was a senior partner in the law firm of Otis, Edey, Hydecker and Jett. She was very nervous. It's so very confidential. I can't go to Mr. Otis about this because he's 75 and he has a bad heart and, uh it might kill him. Last Monday evening, I saw a member of the firm with our opponent in a very important case. With the opposing counsel? No, n-no, the opposing client. You see what a hole I'm in. That might be unethical but might be or accidental. No, no, no, no. They were together in a booth in a cheap restaurant The kind of place she would never go to, never. The client. Yes of course it was conceivable just barely that he wasn't a traitor so this afternoon I went to tell him and find out. Well, the way he took it, the way it hit him there isn't any question. The problem, Miss Aaron, is that there are some cases that he just won't touch. Not even indirectly. I- I- I don't understand. All right, well, you told me the name of your firm. You said it's a big case. You said the opposing client is a woman. I read the papers your client is Morton Sorell. The opposing client is Rita Sorell, right? The actress? Yes. Yeah, well, there you have it. It's a divorce case. B- but this isn't about the divorce. Well, you may know that. I may know that, but Mr. Wolfe I can ask. But, uh why don't you give me the details. As I said, I'm And she did tell me everything very precisely everything except the name of the partner she'd seen at the lunchroom. That she refused to say until Wolfe agreed to take the case. Excuse me for interrupting What time is it? Uh 19 minutes to 6:00. Well, it can wait 19 minutes. Well, you know, okay but when you come down and find her in the office without warning, don't start bellowing. You violate our understanding by interrupting me. Okay, now that you're interrupted I might as well go on, though. So I did. There's this woman who came to see you and I let her in, and she started talking about Then came the ticklish part. Her firm's client is Morton Sorell. The opposing firm's client ison Sorell. Is that why you came prancing in here? I didn't prance in here. I walked in here. You know very well I do not involve myself No, I know you don't get evidence on a divorce, but this is different, I'm telling you. A marital squabble is likely to be the primary issue in this case. Send her away. I had flubbed it. I don't like flubbing things so I kept at it for another ten minutes, flubbing it even more. I don't know why. I think it was Bertha Aaron's eyes. They were good eyes and looked straight at you. I arranged my face so Bertha Aaron would know Wolfe's answer was no as soon as she looked at me but my face rearranged itself as soon as I looked at her. And there was Wolfe's tie. It never should have been there. You can come down now. She's gone. You said she was gone. Well, she is. She's dead. I presume that she was alive when you left her to come up to me. Yes, sir, she was alive then, yeah. After I cut your necktie off Necktie? Yes, the one you left on your desk. You dare to suggest that she was strangled with my necktie? No, I don't suggest, I state. And I will go on to state if you hadn't left it on your desk so handy she might not be laying there dead. Shut up! Or if we'd come down here sooner Shut up! Yes, sir. I will not accept it! Uh do you want to make the phone call or should I? I gave him five seconds, to be polite and then went to the kitchen and called the police. I'll make the call. And, uh now, the rugs. If you and Wolfe use the name that you withheld from me to collect a fee, Goodwin, I'm going to get you for it if it costs me an eye! I've been trying to figure out for years who it is you remind me of. Now I know an animal I once saw in a cage, begins with B. I was talking. Yeah, and I was interrupting. Look. A woman comes here to consult with Nero Wolfe gets murdered in his office with his necktie while he's upstairs playing with his orchids. Now, he hasn't been able to swallow any dinner. He won't even try. My heart bleeds. If we knew who it was Don't you think You'd get yourself hired to go him. And you say you know us. No, I would have gone after him, huh. Without a paying client? No, sure I would. With any luck, I would have brought that killer back here before you and the scientists arrived. Yeah, this killer how did he know she was here? How did he get in? You know, I've gone over this with Stebbins and with Rowcliffe and with you. It's all in the statement. She left her office after she confronted him. Now, she would have been a cinch to tail. He sees her coming to the famous Nero Wolfe residence and he dials this number. Well, it didn't ring in the plant rooms where I was, it rang in the kitchen but Fritz isn't there, see? It rings and rings and rings in the office right under her nose. She's a trained secretary; she picks it up. He says, "I'd like to offer you an explanation. " Hello? Point is, she lets him in here. There you have it. The rest is in the report. What the hell. But I'm warning you, Goodwin if it costs me both eyes. Sure, yeah. Yes? Yeah, they've gone. Fritz is standing watch in the kitchen expecting a call for food, so you'd better buzz him. I- I don't want any food. I'm going to bed. Will you sleep? If the occasion calls for it, yeah. Because I can't. I can't even read. Have you ever known me to show rancor? I'd have to look in the dictionary. What is it? Vehement ill will. Intense malignity. Ah. No. I have it now and, uh, it it's in the way. I can't think clearly. My brain processes are muddled. I Confounded rancor is a pimple on the brain. You said the army of occupation was gone! I I meant to disconnect the bell for the night. Well, do so immediately. I think I will. Uh, Fritz, oh-ho-ho-ho. Steady, steady. Yes, yes, here. Yup, yup, yup, okay. Okay, here you are. I'll get the door. Yes, sir? I'm Lamont Otis. I'm here see Nero Wolfe about my secretary, Miss Bertha Aaron. This is Angela Paige, my associate a member of the bar. A valued and trusted employee of yours has died by violence under my roof. I owe you an apology. A weak word; there should be a better one. If you have come to reproach me, proceed. I have come here to find out what happened. Miss Aaron was in my confidence for many, many years and yet I do not know why she came here. Miss Aaron feared the effects of her problem on you. What? Her words, Archie? Yeah, she said he had a bad heart and it might kill him. Oh, what nonsense. Absolutely ridiculous! Bosh! I- I do not intend to have, uh, another death under my roof to apologize for, this time induced by me. She exaggerated it. Bertha was so devoted to Mr. Otis. Well, are you willing to take responsibility for its effect on him? I'll take the responsibility! After all, it's my heart. Very well, Archie, give Mr. Otis a copy of the statement. Angela, I do think it's rather a personal matter. I think perhaps you had better leave the room if you would, please. You may wait in the front room, Miss Paige. But Mr. Otis, if it's really all that bad No, no, no, no, please leave. Please leave this room. This room is completely soundproofed. Sit down. I'm not surprised Miss Aaron thought this might kill me. I'm really surprised it didn't. Once you have recovered from the shock, you may be tempted to minimize the damage to your firm by allowing the culprit to escape his doom. It is conceivable that you might cheat the police of their prey in this manner, but not me. My self-esteem has been severely injured and I can only find satisfaction by exposing the murderer. It is mere conjecture that a member of my firm killed Phooey! You're an ostrich, sir. I reserve comment on your suggestion that I've been moved by personal consideration to balk justice. Now what do you want to do? If you help me, I have two objectives: to get the murderer and to make sure that your firm suffers as little as possible. If you don't, I'll only have one. Well, then, let us begin. This might be prolonged. Miss Paige might not wish to wait. Oh, a good idea. Perhaps you would bring Miss Paige back here. Would you do so? Yes, you. Please, Miss Paige back in the room. As I entered the front room there were words on the tip of my tongue but once again, that was as far as they got. I was prepared to see her lying under the window with my necktie around their throat even though I was still wearing it. I was relieved to see she wasn't. She's not there. She climbed out of the window? Both doors were locked. The window is open, so I think she probably walked Have you any notion why Miss Paige might have been impelled to leave by a window? What's going on here? I'm not feeling well. I just arrived in this house. I've not had a good time here. I don't know what's going on. I need my pills. I don't know Maybe we should do this another time. No, no, please. Let's go on. Are those pills reliable? They're far more reliable than any of you people here. Now give me that water! The man is having a seizure. Get him water! Good Lord. Are you sufficiently calmed? Yes, sir. It might be suggested that X was in a position to give Mrs. Sorell information against her husband, your client. Is that true? Yes. There was a divorce but blackmail would be a better word for it. Not technically but that's about he sum of it. And for the next two hours, Otis emptied the bag which, for a lawyer, must uite a unique experience. As Rita Ramsey, Mrs. Sorell dazzled Broadway in "Reach for the Moon". For two years she continued to dazzle Broadway while spurning Morton Sorell. But then one day she abandoned her career to marry him. The marriage was on the rocks in a year. The lovely Rita had become a missus to get her paws on a bale of dough and she was not going to settle for the terms of the marriage agreement. She wanted more than half, and she had carefully collected evidence of certain enterprises of Sorell's to get it. And which member of your firm was in a position to give her weapons? All of them. Our client is vulnerable, and we have frequently conferred on it. The three partners: Edey, Hydecker and Jett Miles Hydecker had appeared for Mrs. Sorell when she'd been sued by her former agent. He was tight with money and too interested in his work and his hobbies chess and politics to bother with women, including Mrs. Sorell. Frank Edey, the brilliant idea man had drafted the Sorell marriage agreement. Married, two children interest in other women, definitely but no obvious interest in Mrs. Sorell. Young Gregory Jett made partner when he won a big case for Morton Sorell's corporation. He was a frequent guest at the Sorell penthouse but hadn't been noticeably attentive to his hostess. Jett was single and careless about his income and outgo. He owed money to the firm. As I say, I can't imagine any of these three being involved in what we're talking about. Uh, Fritz? Fritz, Fritz When I let him out at two hours past midnight Otis was still alive. He had wanted to know what Wolfe would do and Wolfe couldn't tell him because he didn't know himself. Look, will you please don't You're destroying my hat. Yes? I have two ducks, turnips à la glace and wild rice. No! You know very well I I never eat at night. But you have had no dinner! No! Let me starve! I can make you an omelet! Anything! No! Go to bed! Want me to call Saul, Fred and Orrie? No. If I don't know how I'm going to proceed how the deuce can I have errands for them? Is that rhetorical? No, it is not. There are the obvious witless tasks of, uh interrogating the law firm personnel and finding the restaurant. By mid-morning Mr. Cramer will have a hundred men pursuing those. Nah, 200. This is special. Will they tackle Rita Sorell? Not right away. Cramer warned me about mentioning Bertha Aaron's observation. Evidently they want to save that one. You have a flair for dealing with personable young women. Sure. They melt like chocolate bars in the sun, but if you think I can ask that specimen who she had lunch with in that cheap restaurant and she's going to murmur his name in my ear Could you bring her here? What? To see your orchids? Possibly. I don't know. I'm not myself. I spent the next morning composing a note to Mrs. Morton Sorell claiming I'd seen her in that lunchroom with an interesting companion. Then I to Lon Cohen's to find out where to deliver it. What? Are you kidding Rita Sorell? You want Rita Sorell's address? What for? Ah, well, now, as a gentleman, I can't say. You don't know the meaning of that word. Ah, come on, you know I'm good for it. Exclusive, right? Is there any other kind? Fine she decamped her husband's digs on Park Avenue for the Churchill Towers, I think. Yeah, Curchill Towers on 63rd. Archie, she's never going to see you. Oh, yeah? Even money that I'm sitting in Rita Sorell's apartment within ten minutes. Daring. Very daring. All right, three gets you two. u're going to be sitting on a curb for an hour and then you're going to get sent home. We're on. Oh, no, I'm just saying good-bye. Thank you, Lon. Churchill Towers. Yeah, uh exclusive! She obviously wanted to know who had seen her in that lunchroom. Since that alone confirmed that she was there I decided not to waste my first lie of the day and tell her the absolute truth. Well, at least you're handsome. Ah, well Very handsome. But what's this about? It's crazy. Where'd you get it? I wrote it. I made it up. The card was just a trick so I could get to you. My name is Archie Goodwin and I have been at your feet for years, see? And the only pictures in my heart are of you. And one smile from you, just for me it would be rapture. See, my constant dream now that you left your husband would be that I could render some little service some small thing, some big thing, you know to earn me that smile. Have you any particular service in mind? I can sew buttons. So can I. Come in. You know, I could walk along behind you and carry your umbrella or your rubbers in case it rained or snowed. Well, it might be better to carry a gun. Oh? You mentioned my husband. Are you brave? Well, I would be if you were watching. You might have read, Mrs. Sorell something about a *** in Nero Wolfe's office yesterday. The victim, Bertha Aaron was a private secretary to Lamont Otis who's a senior par Oh, and you said that so nicely about my pictures in your heart. Nero Wolfe is working for my husband, isn't he? Uh, no, he's not. No, he's not working for anyone but himself. You're lying. I only allow myself so many lies in the day, Mrs. Sorell. Nero Wolfe wants to get even with whoever killed that woman in his office and he thought maybe you could tell me something about Bertha Aaron. I can't. Why, I never even noticed her. Well, that's too bad. I'm still at your feet. And I like you there. You're very handsome. Would Mr. Wolfe work for me? If he did, he'd soak you. And If he's got any pictures in his heart which I doubt they're not of beautiful women. But you could call him and ask him. I'll have to think about it. I may ring you later. I'm sorry I can't help. You never would have dreamed she was a champion bloodsucker. When I got back to the brownstone I expected to find Wolfe settled in his chair behind his desk with his current book. But he wasn't. Good morning. Good morning, I You forgot to leave the necktie in there. Yes, well, the necktie. We'll discuss that someday the necktie. Ebenezer? No, Elite. Well what are you preparing? Lunch, if you're interested. Of course. That's Gregory Jett. He just spent the morning in the district attorney's office. I excused myself because I wanted to hear from you before speaking with him. I thought I might observe him. That's a good idea because he may have muttered "By golly, the rug is missing. " Did he? Enough of this foolery. Did you speak with that woman? I did. She told me I was handsome twice. Did she admit to being in the lunchroom? No, we talked for about five minutes. It never never came up. She never mentioned it, but she let me in and she may not suspect that there's a connection between her being in the lunchroom and the *** but it's doubtful. Oh, she's tough as nails, and she's after $30 million. By the way, this Gregory Jett guy. What's eating him? I don't know. We shall see. Fritz. I told you my business was urgent. You're rather cheecky, aren't you? Moderately so. If there is any pressure, sir the pressure is on you, not on me. I demand to know what was in the statement that your man here gave to the police and to show it to Mr. Otis, an old man suffering from shock over the death of his secretary was irresponsible and reprehensible. Well, cheek meets cheek. I must bucle my breastplate. Suppose I choose to deny the existence of such a statement? Damn you! She said she saw Goodwin give it to him! When did Miss Paige tell you this? Why? Last night on the phone. We, um well, we are engaged. It has not been announced. Oh. Then your explanation must now account not only for your own concern but also for Miss Paige's flight through a window. Miss Paige knew Miss Aaron had knowledge of a certain, um episode of which Mr. Otis would have violetly disapproved. Ah and the nature of this episode? I can't tell you not even in confidence. Did it concern Mrs. Morton Sorell? So that's it! I want no, I demand to see that statement. I have a right Don't start barking again. There was nothing in it either explicit or allusive concerning the episode that you have just volunteered to tell me about. But thank you anyway. Mr. Wolfe The rest of the partnership straight from the police precinct. Jett, I believe you know Edey and Hydecker. Jett, what are you doing here? I have my reasons. Police questions. Obviously they think she was killed by someone connected with the firm. Judging by their questions they don't just think it, they know it. But they don't say why. Mr. Wolfe, what was she here for? Oh, I don't know as I never saw her alive. Mr. Goodwin, you admitted her. Was she was alone? Was, uh did you see anyone else around? On the sidewalk? No, it was dark, of course. This time of year it gets dark around 4:46. And you conducted her in here. Did you leave the door open? Generally I make a habit of making sure that the door is locked. Habits are dangerous things. What did she tell you? The time had come for my first lie of the day. Nothing. Nothing? Nothing. You expect me to believe that you did not insist on knowing the nature of her case before you presented it to your employer? You don't have to. Nero Wolfe's office, Archie Goodwin speaking. This is Rita Sorell, Mr. Goodwin. I have decided Hold on, hold on. You remember I told you about that woman who told me that I was handsome? She's she's on the phone. Oh, yes oh. Yeah. Go ahead. You decided what? I have decided that you were too clever for me not mentioning at all what you had written on the card when that was what you came for. You want to know who the man was, don't you? Yeah, well, that would be most helpful of course. I want to help. You're so very handsome. His name is Gregory Jett. Oh, well, thank you very much. Yes. She's a confounded nuisance but I suppose we'll have to humor her. You'll have to recant. Completely? Yeah. Who was that? No more cross-examination. That was Mrs. Morton Sorell on the phone. What? Archie? Yeah, well, if it had been 20 seconds earlier the phone call I wouldn't have had to lie. See, Bertha Aaron told me several things. One, that a member of the firm was seen in conference with Mrs. Sorell. And two, that when confronted about this the member of the firm had no explanation whatsoever. This is incredible. I don't believe it! Nor do I. Do you expect us to believe I said no more cross-examination, Mr. Hydecker. Miss Aaron did not name him but Mrs. Sorell just did. Although I question her veracity. Speaking to only one of you if you could be identified by your whereabouts the police would have you in custody. For reasons of their own they chose not to question your whereabouts on the night of the meeting, but I do. So let's get to it! Find seats for yourselves. Well, the partnership all had good alibis. Like good lawyers, they even had people to verify them. They left together as partners three abreast a solid front of mutual trust and understanding. In a pig's eye. Do you want me to put Saul on the alibis? Phooey! One with his fiancee one watching a chess tournament and the other one at home with children in bed, sleeping. Worthless! I was afraid of that. If you're a mere top-flight detective like me you'd rather go after an alibi than eat. You ask a man where he was at 11 minutes past 8:00 you put it in your notebook and then you wear out a pair of good shoes looking for somebody who says he was somewhere else. But if you're a genius you don't give a damn about alibis. All you care about is food. I think it's that the problem is too simple. One of three men committed ***. We know how, where and when. So we got to figure out who. That's it, right? Well, it's simple. Eeny, meeny, ***, moe. Is it this rancor? Is it this pimple on your brain? Is it that your brain processes are still muddled? Lunch is served, sir. Ah, yes. Because what this needs is a good stiff dose of genius and now yours is taking off for lunch? One of Wolfe's principles is that he won't work his brain on business while he eats but it was a week for violating principles. Get out of the way! Do you have an appointment? Yeah, we got a warrant for your arrests Come back after 6:00, Mr. Cramer. For interfering with justice. Tommyrot! Wait out in the front room. I will be available on 6:00. You revealed the contents of Goodwin's statement to men suspected of ***. Which of those three jackasses told you that? Was it Edey? You knew damn well we were withholding that meeting! Purley. Hands off! I am not bound to respect your tactics either by statute or by custom. I've been waiting for years to serve these, Wolfe. But you don't serve them, do you? So they are only cudgels for you to brandish. To what end do you make this display? What is it that you want? You want my help? Is that what this assertion of uniformed authority is about? You want my help, don't you? I want the truth! Phooey! Phooey is right. We got Edey, Jett, and Hydecker. Eeny, meeny, *** and moe. According to Goodwin's statement one of them killed Bertha Aaron. Yes. But if a jury takes Goodwin's statement as it stands they're off the hook. Purley, give me that paper. I got a chart. Bertha Aaron arrives at 5:20. Goodwin leaves her at 5:40 alive and well. When he gets back, it's 6:10 and she's dead. Now here's the problem: The three partners had a scheduled meeting at 5:30. Edey is there, Jett comes in a minute late. Hydecker rolls in at 5:45. He'd been out buying theater tickets. And they discuss the case until 6:35. You see what that means? I can add. Yeah. The only one who even fits is Hydecker, and if the timetable is right he had six minutes to get in, kill her go buy theater tickets and get across town at rush hour. So either they're lying or Goodwin's lying. There is a third assumption. Yeah, that Bertha Aaron didn't mean she saw one of the partners in the lunchroom. She saw one of the other 20 lawyers associated with the firm. Yes. Look Wolfe, I can imagine how yoou must have felt seeing her lying there with your necktie wrapped aound her throat. You want the glory. You want the gloguy before we do so you show Goodwin how to fake some reports and we spend a couple of days chasing around. With your *** ego that would seem perfectly all right. You wouldn't be obstructing justice. Remembering all the stunts I've seen you pull do you deny that's what you did? Serve your warrants, sir. Do you deny that's what you did?! Serve your warrants! I defy you! Archie, get Mr. Parker. Tell him Mr. Cramer is waving feeble bits of paper at me. Have his secretary phone this number every ten minutes for the next hour. If Fritz answers the phone and says we have been forcibly removed he'll know where to find us. Well? Boss? Oh, for the love of nuts! You think it's occurred to him? I doubt it. But when it does, he'll probably mess it up. It has occurred to you? Sure. I don't have a pimple on my brain. Well, we must forestall him. What time is it? Just turn your head a little to the right see that there's a clock right there on the It's ten after 3:00. Very well. We'll arrange it for 6:00. Tell Mr. Cramer he may fetch his murderer at 7:00. Uh, Mr. Wolfe. Miss, uh, Rita Ramsey Sorell. It's a pleasure to have you here, Miss Ramsey. Oh, thank you. I'm not in the habit of going to see men when they send for me. Maybe that's why I came. Yes, well, unfortunately our discussion is of a more serious nature. I need your help. I need your help in resolving a crisis in my self-esteem indeed, in my soul. Uh, f-for that, uh, I want us to be frank and unreserved. Uh, I think we should be alone for that. Why, Mr. Wolfe, you do know women. Yes, Archie, if you please. Bye, Archie. You told Mr. Goodwin on the phone that you had lunch with a man a man who was a partner at a law firm which represents your husband. He was representing himself. You told Mr. Goodwin on the phone today that that man was Gregory Jett. What if I don't deny it? What if I repeat it? It was Gregory Jett. If in addition to scattering dust you were gratifying an animus you'd better try again. It wasn't Mr. Jett; it was Mr. Hydecker. So I sat in a booth with a man and didn't know who he was? I take it back. You know nothing of women. 25 hours ago he followed Miss Aaron to this address and when he saw her enter my house he sought a phone. What for? To call you, madam to tell you that your scheme had been revealed. Mr. Hydecker does not believe that you came here determined to *** her. He believes that when you saw her alone and learned that she had not yet seen me on an impulse, you seized a paperweight and struck her. He believes that when you saw the necktie on this desk If he says I killed that woman, he's lying. He killed her. That's why I've come here today, to put it right. He did phone me yesterday, twice first to warn me we had been seen and an hour later to say that he had dealt with it that our plan his plan was safe. So I knew he had killed her. Well, that's why I've come here today to put it right. Am I too late? No, a purge can both cleanse your conscience and end the the terrifying dilemma that is in my soul but there is a crucial piece that we need. What time did he phone you the second time? I don't know exactly. It's important. It's important that we be precise both for the police and for the court. It was between 5:00 and 6:00. Yes, around half past 5:00. You're sure? Yes, I'm sure. He came to me about a month ago. He said he had information about my husband that I could use to get my rights. It's a lie! I never went to her. She came to me. Oh, now you talk? When you were accused of *** you had nothing to say. He wanted me to agree to pay him a million dollars for it. Would you be prepared to testify under oath? Well, I suppose I'll have to. Then you're a dunce, madam. Oh, no, Mr. Wolfe, I'm not a dunce. Oh, but you are. One detail alone would sink you one, single, simple fact. What are you talking about? When you came here yesterday, you were not in a hurry. You were not contemplating *** so you had no reason to use caution. I didn't come here at all. I need only telephone Inspector Cramer and tell him to locate the cab driver who picked you up at or near the Churchill yesterday afternoon and drove you here. He will have noted the time. Oh, yes? Then why don't you? There's the phone. Use it. Because 25 hours ago, here in this room you subjected me, madam, to the most severe humiliation that I have suffered in many years and I am getting even. I am watching you squirm. I will not say that it gives me pleasure, but Let me go! Let me go! No, you will not! I'm going out! Let me out! Unhand me, you beast! You are to be quiet! No, you unhand me, sir! Archie! Archie! Archie Confound it! Archie, there's been a gross misunderstanding. I shall take care of you. I believe it's time for my show. Lon! What are you doing here? Wh-What is going on? Archie Archie, let me go! I've got to do my show. My audience is waiting. Uh, just a minute, Mr. Cramer. Yeah? As you know, I dislike appearing in court and being subjected to the public gaze. You're a *** screwball, that's all I know. If you tell the district attorney that Mr. Goodwin is capable of testifying on my behalf I will not find it necessary to relate to newspapers how the police overlooked such an obvious assumption as the one I acted upon. Cards?