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>> THANK YOU, JANU.
>>> SOCIAL ANXIETY STEMS FROM
FEAR OF BEING JUDGED OR
EVALUATED BY OTHERS, AND MANY
OF
US HAVE THAT FEAR.
MOST OF US ARE NOT CLINICALLY
DIAGNOSED.
WE CALL IT SIMPLY BEING
NERVOUS.
BUT IT'S ESPECIALLY PREVALENT
WHEN A BIG OPPORTUNITY IS ON
THE
LINE OR A CAREER EXPERT JOINS
US
THIS MORNING WITH A FEW TIPS ON
HOW TO CALM THOSE NERVES
ESPECIALLY IN THE CLUTCH.
SO, KIM, HOW DO YOU PREVENT
WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER
PEOPLE
ARE THINKING OF YOU, ESPECIALLY
WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO A JOB
INTERVIEW?
>> I THINK IT COMES DOWN TO
PRACTICE.
IT'S BASICALLY BEING ABLE TO,
YOU KNOW, COMMUNICATE WHO YOU
ARE, WHAT YOU KNOW, WHAT YOU DO
AND MAYBE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
MORE EFFECTIVELY AND MAKE IT
ALMOST AS IF IT'S MUSCLE
MEMORY.
IT'S PURELY HABIT.
ATHLETES PRACTICE.
HOW WOULD THE 49ers HAVE
GOTTEN TO THE PLAYOFFS?
A LOT OF PRACTICE.
IF YOU ARE GOING INTO A BIG JOB
INTERVIEW, SCOUR THE WEB, LOOK
FOR QUESTIONS KEY TO YOUR
INDUSTRY.
GUARANTEED OTHER PEOPLE HAVE
BEEN IN YOUR SAME POSITION
BEFORE, RIGHT?
>> YES.
>> HAVE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY
LOOK AT YOUR RESUME AND COME UP
WITH QUESTIONS AND PRACTICE
ANSWERING THOSE QUESTIONS IN
FRONT OF THE MIRROR.
IF YOU CAN LOOK YOURSELF IN THE
EYE YOU CAN PRETTY MUCH ALMOST
LOOK ANYONE IN THE EYE.
>> SO PRACTICE AND IT SOUNDS
LIKE IT'S A LITTLE BIT MORE
THAN
JUST A CONVERSATION.
JUST TRYING TO HAVE A
CONVERSATION WITH ANOTHER
PERSON?
>> WELL, SURPRISINGLY, EVEN
PEOPLE GET NERVOUS.
YOU KNOW, IN JUST ONE-ON-ONE
EVERY DAY CONVERSATIONS.
AND THAT'S NOT JUST ABOUT A
FEAR
OF BEING EVALUATED OR BEING
JUDGED.
IT'S A FEAR OF WHAT AM I GOING
TO SAY NEXT?
WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE, DONE
THAT, RIGHT?
SO I HAVE A LITTLE EXERCISE
THAT
I DO.
I HAVE SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN
STICK IN YOUR BACK POCKET THAT
YOU CAN USE IN ANY CONVERSATION
AND IT'S A PHRASE.
IT'S JUST SPEAKING UP.
AND HOW IT WORKS IS LET'S SAY
SOMEONE SAYS TO ME, WELL,
YESTERDAY I WAS OUT AT THE
BEACH
AND I WAS WALKING MY DOG AND IT
WAS JUST ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS
OUTSIDE.
TO WHICH I WOULD RESPOND, WELL,
ACTUALLY SPEAKING OF DOGS, I
HAVE A POMERANIAN.
>> I SEE.
>> AND I LOVE, YOU KNOW,
PLAYING
WITH MY POMERANIAN.
THE ONLY THING IS, YOU KNOW, HE
TAKES A LOT OF GROOMING.
WELL, SPEAKING OF GROOMING,
WELL, THERE IS A NEW SALON THAT
OPENED UP AROUND THE STREET.
THERE ARE DIFFERENT WAYS YOU
CAN
DO IT EVEN IN AN INTERVIEW
SITUATION.
IF YOU ASK THE EMPLOYER OR
POTENTIAL EMPLOYER WELL, WHAT
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A
POTENTIAL EMPLOYEE?
THEY SAY THE RIGHT SKILL SET.
THE PERSERVERANCE.
DETERMINATIONS.
SPEAKING OF DETERMINATION.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS
AFTERNOON?
>> I THINK I MIGHT WATCH THAT
GAME THAT EVERYBODY SEEMS IT BE
TALKING ABOUT.
I THINK I WILL BE BY THE TV.
>> SPEAKING OF THE BIG GAME,
ACTUALLY, I AM HEADING UP TO
WINTER WINELAND IN SONOMA
COUNTY
AND THREE OF THE WINERIES ARE
HAVING BIG SCREENS SO YOU CAN
WATCH THE GAME WHILE YOU ARE
DRINKING WINE.
>> YOU ARE LATCHING ON TO WHAT
THAT PERSON SAYS.
IT ALSO SHOWS YOU ARE LISTENING
AND PAYING ATTENTION.
>> IT DOES.
AND HAVING THAT FOLLOW-UP WILL
MAKE IT SO YOU WILL PAY
ATTENTION.
>> WHAT ABOUT IF YOU ARE IN A
NETWORKING SITUATION?
I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE, MYSELF
INCLUDED, FEELS AWKWARD IN A
SITUATION LIKE THAT WHERE YOU
ARE HAVING TO MAKE CHITCHAT OR
SMALL TALK.
>> THE BIGGEST ISSUE THAT I
FEEL
PEOPLE HAVE IN TERMS OF GETTING
NERVOUS IN NETWORKING
SITUATIONS
OR CONVERSATIONS IS LITERALLY
JUST HAVING AN AGENDA.
GOING IN AND SAYING, WELL, I
EXPECT THIS TO COME OUT OF IT.
IF YOU GO IN WITH A RELAXED
ATTITUDE YOU ARE LESS APT TO
FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO LIVE UP
TO
SOME SORT OF STANDARD.
LET'S SAY YOU ARE GOING, YOU
KNOW, IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH
TO
GO TO A DEMOCRATIC FUNDRAISER
AND YOU GO IN SAYING I AM GOING
TO MEET PRESIDENT OBAMA AND YOU
SEE THAT BREAK IN THE CROWD
AND,
YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE THAT
OPPORTUNITY TO GO GIVE A
HAPPENED SHAKE TO PRESIDENT
OBAMA, WELL, YOU BLOW OFF HIS
CHIEF OF STAFF IN THE MEANTIME
BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T REALIZE YOU
WERE TALKING TO HIM AND GUESS
WHO SCHEDULES PRESIDENT OBAMA?
>> RIGHT.
SO GO IN WITH LESS OF AN
AGENDA?
>> RIGHT.
AND WITH THE INTENTION OF JUST
ENJOYING THE MOMENT.
EMBRACE THE MOMENT.
YOU ARE MORE APT TO MAKING
THOSE
CONNECTIONS AND BUILDING THOSE
RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE.
>> I GUESS ANOTHER WAY TO SAY
THAT WOULD BE TO LOWER YOUR
EXPECTATIONS IN SOMETHING LIKE
THAT?
>> RIGHT.
HONESTLY, EMBRACING THE MOMENT.
>> AND IF ALL THAT FAILS, WE
HAVE HAD GREAT TIPS.
IF ALL ELSE FAILS?
>> THE CHOCOLATE LOVE POTION.
>> TELL US ABOUT THAT.
WHAT DOES THAT DO?
>> SO I HAVE A FRIEND WHO IS A
BREATHING EXPERT.
I JUST FOUND OUT THAT --
>> A BREATHING EXPERT?
>> A BREATHING EXPERT.
HE ALSO IS A LITTLE BIT MORE
HOLISTIC AND HE FOCUSES ON
HERBAL REMEDIES.
NORMALLY I AM NOT INTO THIS
VOODOO HOLISTIC THING.
BUT THIS WORK.
THE CHOCOLATE LOVE POTION IS
GEARED TOWARDS PEOPLE WHO HAVE
ANXIETY IN THE BEDROOM.
BUT ANXIETY IS ANXIETY, RIGHT?
SO BEDROOM ANXIETY -- [NO
AUDIO]
>> BASICALLY, THIS IS FILLED
WITH AMAZING HERBS AND FLOWERS
AND CHOCOLATE.
A RARE --
>> CAN'T GO WRONG THERE.
>> RIGHT.
IT'S UPLIFTING OF THE MOOD AND
HAS A REVERED BLUE LOTUS
FLOWER,
WHICH IS ALL ABOUT INCREASING
INTUITION, UP LIFTING THE MODE.
HOLY BASIL WHICH IS ABOUT
CENTERING AND GROUNDING
YOURSELF.
>> SO A DROP OR TWO OF THAT?
>> ON YOUR TONGUE.
BREATHE IN DEEP.
MAYBE A PLACEBO EFFECT.
>> IF NOTHING ELSE IT TASTES
