First World Problems

I can't find the answer to my homework online and now I have to use my brain. I missed the bus today and I had to wait 2 whole minutes for the next bus. Why won't Justin Bieber notice me on Twitter? I tweet him every 2 minutes. The Brita water takes way too long to filter, I hate water. God there's nothing to eat. I asked for a Brazilian weave what the heck is this Eurasian wavy crap? The view in my condo sucks, I can't see anything. The free wi-fi at Starbucks keeps cutting out. My boyfriend does everything that I ask, but I get so angry that I always have to ask him to do what I ask. I took a bite of my food before 'Instagramming' it. My mom cut my phone off, now I have to use my Macbook to tweet, why does she hate me so much? Do I want a cheeseburger or do I want a double cheeseburger? It took me 3 hours to take this selfie and I only have 1 'like'. I want to wear my Apple Bottom jeans, but I can't find my boots with the fur. Whenever I eat chips, I can't hear the TV, why do they make these things so crunchy? The escalator wasn't working so I had to take the stairs. Why do I have to watch this 30 second ad on Youtube? I can't even skip it! The automatic toilet flushed before I was even done because I slightly moved to scratch an itch. I have to transfer money from my savings account to my checking account because I HAVE to buy this Michael Kors watch. I want to get up to turn off the light but this bed is too damn comfortable right now. I don't have anything to wear. Mom, why are you so mean? All I want for my birthday is a 'Big *** Hoe'. Ayyyyy, sorry.