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[spiderman] you all know me, your frien dly neighborhood spiderman.
Always on the job.
Heh.
Of course you do.
Whoa! But, do you know mr.
Cranky pants over there, The guy throwing the mega-sized man tantrum? [grunts] nothing stops the juggernaut! [spiderman] there ya go! Jugger-nut Escaped from a high-tech prison today.
You can tell he's evil because of the rampant hot dog abuse.
Who doesn't like hot dogs? [grunts] [sighs] So why am I standing here while a two-ton hate-tank runs right at me? I want to get close so I can attach this-- The spidey tracer! Whatever it sticks to, I can track wherever it goes! Pretty cool, huh?! Made it myself! [grunts] Whoa! Come here, bug! Let me give you a goodbye hug! Agh! Only if your breath doesn't kill me first.
[grunts] Ugh! Repulsive! You did say "repulsors," right, kid? [grunts] Look at you making the jokes, mister iron man.
You look more confused than usual, jugger-butt.
[growls] When I do call for back-up, which is hardly ever, I only call the best.
We're done.
[grunts] Oh, boy! Stay with juggernaut while I secure the building.
I got him! [screams] [spiderman] first, a little gooey to fix the kablooey.
What are you doing? What does it look like? I'm saving the day! I thought I told you to go after juggernaut.
No worries! I put a spidey tracer on him.
Built it myself.
We can grab him anywhere, anytime, dude! Never call me "dude" again.
Ever.
Prepare to be amazed by my state-of-the-art tracer tech in action! Just need to dial in the frequency.
Whoops.
Hah.
Wrong frequency.
It's, you know, rebooting the main-- stuff.
Heh.
You're gonna wish you had one when it works.
Aha! And when the proper authorities finally get their hands On that webheaded menace Being a real hero isn't about having the best gadgets.
My real superpower? Right in here.
Next time, save the showboating and listen to me, kid.
Poor excuse for a superhero with absolutely-- Not embarrassing at all.
Whoa.
This is usually the part where I drool all over the place in awe.
But I feel bad about my little "oops" before.
Gotta talk to iron man and make sure he doesn't think I'm a total ***.
Agh! Come on, iron man! If you're still mad, you could just text me a frowny face! Whoa! What did you guys do? Mess up his coffee? Hah.
Worst boss ever! Uh-oh! Agh! [grunts] Whoa! Ow! Ow! Aw, come on! [grunts] I don't remember inviting you here.
I was kidding about the "worst boss" part.
Unless you really did unleash a robot over bad cappuccino.
That would be mean.
We're not doing this now.
Just wait here.
He was talking to someone else, right? No, my theories would never work! Welcome to the future, you fossil! Are we impressed now, "boss"? [spiderman] I'm gonna guess no.
It's time for a time out, spark plug.
What are you doing? Um, saving all the innocent people You're obviously putting in danger.
Aren't you paying attention? Are you out of your mind, michael? I'm out of patience! I told you my invention would work, But you were too busy to take a meeting With an insignificant "worker bee" like me! In fairness, he saves the world, like, every other day.
I wasn't too busy, michael.
I wasn't interested.
I told you that your invention Wasn't ready for live testing.
Judging by the damage you just caused, I was right.
What were you trying to invent, a "trash-stark-labs-inator?" I wasn't going to hurt anyone! I wanted to prove that my device can control any technology As though it were an extension of my physical being! Great, michael.
Congratulations.
Very impressive.
You're fired.
What? No! This is the technology of the future! I proved-- That you're a self-centered egomaniac with no regard for the safety of others.
And trust me, I know egomaniacs.
He does.
Stop helping.
This is all your fault! Right.
You sure your last name's not jameson? You're a relic! I'm the visionary! Maybe when I take over every piece of tech you own, you'll see! Really? Show a little dignity, man.
[grunts] He's showing something but I don't think that's dignity.
Michael! You'll regret this, stark! [yells] [iron man] that is gonna be a lot of paperwork.
Too soon, man.
Too soon.
I can't believe that guy went "poof" And you seriously went back to work? Yeah, trying to find michael.
[grunts] I think you'll find him scattered all over your lab.
I'm hoping you're right, just not in the way you think.
Michael was developing a man-machine interface That articulated on a sub-subatomic level By cross matching muons in a human's atomic array With the richards particle strings That constitute most known energy waveforms, thereby-- Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Time out.
My brain melted.
Try again.
[sighs] I think michael's machine Scattered his atoms like leaves, But if I concentrate real hard, I might be able to rake him up And reconstitute his body one particle at a time.
You can do that? I can if I'm not using brain space Answering questions from a certain spider-kid.
That means I should go.
Okay, well, good luck with the atomraking or whatever.
Heh.
Thanks, and spidey, This is just like I was saying before.
Tech can be pretty seductive, But we can't lose sight that it's just a tool.
It's how we use it that matters.
I hear you.
Thanks, tony.
I'm cool.
Whoa! Cool! With tony busy unzapping employees, He probably wouldn't mind if I borrowed his lab for a few minutes And gave my spider tracers an tune-up.
Of course he won't! Hmm, let's see.
Where do we start? The hip bone's connected to the framastat.
And the framastat's connected to the whatever that is.
But I digress.
Yes! It's alive! Alive! What? What was that? And now, the moment of truth.
Round two! [announcer] versus! [roars] Missed me, missed me, don't wanna kiss ye! Heh, you know what? You ain't worth the trouble, bug! No, but you are, you big ugly jugga-lug! Bombs away! And now, witness the power of this fully armed and operational spidey tracer That performs exactly as I have programmed it to do! Hey, what is this? Get off of me! [grunts] Is my spider tracer replicating? [grunts] get off! Nothing stops the juggernaut! Well, I guess that worked out for the best.
Still, I better tell iron man about this.
So, hey! Tony, my man! Hilarious story for you.
Remember that little chat we had about technology And being careful and whatever? Well I-- agh! Never mind.
This isn't one of my inventions! You! What did you do?! That's what I came to ask you! What did I do?! [roaring] Did you see that giant spooky-facey thing? Focusing! How about giving me some back story? [spiderman] I was born at the very young age of- [iron man] spiderman! [coos] Okay! I upgraded my spider tracers With some tech you had lying around.
This is your idea of an upgrade? An upgrade, just not a, you know, good upgrade.
From what I can tell, you've turned your tracers Into self-replicating machines.
The ones we blast just splinter off and make more, Using my armor for material.
Bad tracers! Stop eating iron man! Well, it was worth a try.
Hold on! I got an idea! Trust me! Even if you have no real reason to.
[iron man grunts] [iron man] this is not an idea! This is you not helping! [spiderman] no no, this is an idea! Your ideas are starting to be a real pain in my-- He was gonna say "neck.
" neck.
"pain in my neck.
" totally.
Day saved! Problem solved! Point, me! Why don't you look happy? Okay, back to level one! Do you have any ideas, mr.
Super-genius hero, sir? This suit is starting to malfunction.
If I can get back to the lab, I can-- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I gotcha! Whoa! This is less fun than when I was doing the dragging! Agh! Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Watch out! Incoming! Hey! Whoa! He's probably fine.
Stuff like this happens to him all the time, right? The tracers are gone.
I guess that worked.
"that" being me smashing through two separate, Super-reinforced, titanium walls And a room full of very expensive lab equipment? Uh Yeah? So, where did the tracers go? Do you think they were finally destroyed? I don't know if you're an eternal optimist Or need to have your head examined.
Let history be my judge.
[growls] Wait! Maybe it's gonna pledge its eternal allegiance to me.
You know, as its creator and master and all that? [cheering] we love spidey! Spidey is the best! We love spidey! Cooler than the rest! [roars] Something's controlling your tracers, And it's obviously not you, so who? Am I getting graded on this? Whoa! [yells] [spiderman yelling] Computer, open door 55.
Oh, man, you don't look so hot.
Don't worry.
I've thrown parties more destructive than this.
Right, how bad can it-- oh.
Any chance this is the "hall of half-eaten armors"? No.
This was years of hard work, Innovation and technological genius, gone.
I'm sorry, tony.
I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
Look, they're just shells.
Like I said before, it's what you put inside of them that counts, Especially when it's me inside of them.
Any of this sunk in yet? [spiderman] it's not the tech? It's what you do with it? Exactly, though I've taken it one step further, evolved.
I have become the tech! A new species! Michael.
The zappy-guy? How did--? How? I did what stark is too afraid to do! I shattered the line between man and machine And became more than he could ever dream of! Stark only plays with technology.
I am the technology! You mean, you're my technology, michael! Michael tan no longer exists.
Wait! Don't tell me.
Let me guess.
From now on, you're known as-- swarm! Not bad.
Hey, if there's one thing I can do, It's name a super-villain.
And create one.
Sorry about that.
[yells] You gotta love taser webs! [growling] Yikes! [yells] Whoa! Nice one! I thought your armor was-- whoa! Dude! That is stark-tastic.
If I stopped fighting every time something went wrong with my tech, I would have given up the hero gig a long time ago.
I've done my improvising.
Your turn.
How do we get my disgruntled employee Out of your tech? Come on, michael, get out of my tech.
I thought you were a futurist, stark! I am the face of the future! I took your childish tech and evolved it.
From here, I'll continue to replicate and grow Until swarm is everything! Oh yeah? Well, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that speech I'd-- well, I'd have a dollar.
Hey! Are you saying my tech was easy to hack? [growls] [iron man] you starting to get an idea? Uh, not quite yet.
Well, when you have a plan feel free to share.
I'm good, but this suit won't last long.
Well, what if you gave him his job back? If we don't neutralize this thing asap, It'll just keep growing! Well, sure, but how big could it get? [evil laughter] I guess that big.
[swarm growling] I know I'm pushing you to your limits, baby! Come on, stay with me! Like I've been saying all along, You're a relic, stark, a thing of the past! We are the future! Your future is probably going to involve some heavy therapy, swarmy.
Going from "I" to "we" is not a good sign.
Whoa! Aw, come on, think! Mikey zaps himself, hacks your tech, Makes more, wash rinse, repeat.
All this because I wanted to feel like I was a state-of-the-art Superhero with some cool new gear! Now that "cool new gear" is gonna take over everything! Wait a second.
Michael may be controlling them, But they are still my tracers, right? Far as I can tell, With the exception of the hardware you stole.
Borrowed.
Whatever.
Your point? And make it fast! [grunts] Michael's "essence" or atoms, May have taken over the tracers themselves, But I still have the main interface.
They all share a frequency.
That's my way in! Nice! So, your next move is--? Downgrading my tech! Simplify.
Make the tool work for me! Why does that sound like advice given by a wise and experienced hero? Now you want to lecture? Really? Welcome to the future, kids!! This better work! [yells] Huh? [yells] Aw, come on! Hey! Whoa! [iron man] you just need more power to amplify the frequency.
And where do I get that? Here.
My arc reactor will give you what you need.
Whoa! Thanks! Don't thank me yet.
In order for it to work, we gotta get close.
How close? Uncomfortably close.
Ew.
It ends now! You're mine, stark! Here we go, kid! You ready for this? Absolutely not.
But, yeah.
Whoa! [swarm laughing] Do it now! [iron man grunts] Iron man! [grunts] Huh? Noooooooo! I guess we weren't very appetizing.
[grunts] Thanks for the juice.
I know this was my mess.
Well, you're certainly not the first guy that had his tech get away from him And threaten to take over the world.
You mean it's happened to you too? Me? Not a chance.
But I'm sure it's happened to someone.
Okay, maybe not.
Make sure you get them all.
If we're gonna put mr.
Tan back together again, I need every one of those things intact.
Do you really think you can save him? I think I'm gonna try.
Michael may have been a megalomaniac And the worst employee I've ever had, But he's my responsibility.
I've gotta help him if I can.
Listen, I'm-- I'm really sorry about everything.
You were right.
Being the best hero I can be doesn't have Anything to do with technology.
It's all about how I use it.
You had me at "you were right.
" Still buds? Of course.
But as you know, With great screw-ups comes great responsibility.
Once you're done out here you can clean up my office, Dude.
[sighs] [theme music plays] [music ends]
