Batman: The Animated Series Video Power Hour

ALFRED I'll cancel Master Bruce's rendezvous with, uh, Bambi, was it, sir? BATMAN Yes, Alfred. Do that. BLIMP COP 1 I'm... getting something strange. BLIMP COP 2 Oh, not again. BLIMP COP 1 I'm serious! It's right below us. BATMAN Ugh! BLIMP COP 1 Woah! BLIMP COP 2 Gotham Command: We need choppers. We've sighted the Batman! CATWOMAN Hmm, probably my imagination. BATMAN Probably not. ISIS (growls) CATWOMAN Magnificent. ISIS (meows?) BATMAN I suggest you save the flattery for the judge. CATWOMAN So long, Dark Knight. BATMAN Drop in anytime. ISIS (growls) CATWOMAN (screams) CATWOMAN My hero! CATWOMAN That was for saving my cat. BATMAN Is that all it was for? CATWOMAN Maybe not. BATMAN I heard gunfire. CATWOMAN Occupational hazard. CATWOMAN No! Let's keep the mystery. BATMAN If I don't unmask you, the police will. CATWOMAN Police? Don't be silly. CATWOMAN You can't deny there's something between us. BATMAN You're right. And I'm afraid it's the law. BATMAN I'm sorry. BATMAN Huh? CATWOMAN Never trifle with the affections of a woman. CATWOMAN Until next time. JOKER When the going gets tough, the tough goes shopping! GOTHAMITES (laughing uncontrollably) JOKER Who says crime doesn't pay? JOKER Now this is what I call a sidewalk sale! FREEZE THUG 1 All set. FREEZE THUG 1 Oh! FREEZE THUG 2 (gasps) The Batman! FREEZE THUG 1 Put me down! FREEZE THUG 1 Aaaah! FREEZE THUGS Oof! Aah! Oh! BATMAN Freeze! MISTER FREEZE That's MISTER Freeze to you. FREEZE This is a personal vendetta. It doesn't concern you. BATMAN It's my concern now. FREEZE Since you ally yourself with my enemies, you leave me no choice. JOHNNY Aaah! FREEZE THUG 2 Johnny! VAULT GUARD Hold it right there! VAULT GUARD Hey! What are you... VAULT GUARD (coughs) VAULT GUARD Stop! What the... No! No, spiders! Get them off of me! VAULT GUARD No! No! Aaaugh! ANTHONY Uh, what did you do to him, boss? SCARECROW I merely helped him visualize his innermost terror. SCARECROW Which is obviously arachnophobia. NIGEL A-wacka-what? SCARECROW Arachnophobia! Fear of spiders, you dimwitted dropout! SCARECROW Now to the vault! NIGEL What are we gonna do, professor? SCARECROW I believe we can leave it to my fear toxin. BATMAN (struggling) THOMAS WAYNE'S GHOST Bruce! BATMAN No! Not now! THOMAS WAYNE'S GHOST You are a disgrace! BATMAN No! No! BATMAN You are not my father! I am not a disgrace! BATMAN I am vengeance. I am the night. BATMAN I am Batman! SCARECROW No! BATMAN Hagen, listen to me... CLAYFACE There is no Hagen. It's only me now: Clayface! CLAYFACE Argh! Ha! CLAYFACE Argh! CLAYFACE (growls) BATMAN Oof! (struggles) PAMELA ISLEY Spend some time with your crazy friend. PAMELA And call me the minute you get home, mister district attorney. HARVEY DENT I'll call ya. PAMELA Good. Nice meeting you, Bruce. BRUCE WAYNE Same here. RESTAURANT PATRON ...recommendation was that, hmm... DENT So, what do you think? WAYNE Does she have a sister? DENT Nope. Pam's one of a kind. DENT That's why I asked her to marry me. WAYNE (spits) What!? DENT Yup. It's the page one headline. DENT Is it getting warm in here? WAYNE You're still flushed from that last kiss. WAYNE Harvey, you just met her last week. WAYNE Don't you think you're rushing it? DENT No way! The moment I laid eyes on Pam, love hit me right in the face. DENT Uhh... WAYNE (laughs) Harv, you've lost your mind. BATMAN Why, Isley? POISON IVY Oh, please, call me Poison Ivy. IVY You see, Harvey had to pay for his crime. BATMAN What crime? IVY Why, *** of course! IVY Plowing up a field of beautiful wild flowers for that silly penitentiary of his. IVY This little rose would be extinct today if I hadn't saved my precious from those horrible bulldozers. IVY The blood of those flowers are on his hands! IVY (growls) IVY (clears throat) IVY So his fate was sealed... IVY ...with a kiss. IVY And now, so is yours. BATMAN (struggles) BATMAN (spits) THORNE THUG 1 Gotcha! DENT Oof! BATMAN Augh! THORNE THUG 1 Woah! THORNE THUG 1 Oof! DENT Gimme that file! THORNE THUG 2 I'll get him! BATMAN Look out, Dent! BATMAN Harvey! BATMAN Harvey! No... DOCTOR Now you understand there's going to be some scarring, DOCTOR ...but I've already scheduled a surgeon. NURSE (gasps) TWO-FACE Gimme a mirror. DOCTOR Harvey, maybe you should wait until... TWO-FACE I said, gimme a mirror! Now! TWO-FACE (screams) GRACE Harvey! What happened? GRACE Harvey... Oh... TWO-FACE Good-bye, Grace. RUPERT THORNE No! Two-Face! Don't! You can't let him! GRACE Harvey! What are you doing!? TWO-FACE Taking control of my life. BATMAN Let the law handle it. TWO-FACE The law!? Here's the only law. TWO-FACE The law of averages. The great equalizer! BATMAN Unh... TWO-FACE No! What have you done?! TWO-FACE My coin! Where is it? I can't decide without... TWO-FACE Oh, no! It's gotta be here! It's gotta! TWO-FACE (screams) I have to have it! (screams) TWO-FACE (screams) TWO-FACE (sobs) GRACE It's alright now, Harvey. I'm here. ROBIN What's bugging you? BATMAN He seemed upset. Something's just not right. ROBIN The Penguin! BATMAN Hang on! EAGLETON Here they come! PENGUIN (laughs) BATMAN Huh? ROBIN What are you doing? BATMAN (struggling) Nothing! We've been sabotaged! PENGUIN (laughs) KILLER CROC Terrific! Just what I need now. CROC The freak-job in the cape. BATMAN You're no prize yourself. CROC Argh! BATMAN Unh... CROC What can I tell ya? CROC Bein' a reptile-man ain't pretty, but it's got its upside. CROC Like havin' the strength of a crocodile, for instance! CROC But I guess you've learned that by now, huh? The hard way! CROC Ya know, they used to call Killer Croc the meanest dude in the wrestling federation. CROC Now they'll call him the guy who iced the Batman. CROC Ugh! BATMAN Don't hold your breath. MAD HATTER Twinkle, twinkle, little bat. How I wonder what you're at! MAD HATTER Now, this is a game more to my liking. MAD HATTER Are you, the famous Batman, so intent upon destroying my happiness... MAD HATTER ...that you'll harm these poor, mind-warped innocents to get me? Ha, let's find out! DOCTOR CATES Off with his head! BATMAN (grunting) BATMAN Ugh! Oof! MAD HATTER Oh, one thing I forgot to mention: MAD HATTER my control over my pawns increases their strength. Ha ha! MAD HATTER Guess you found that out, huh? SCARECROW Now, what guarantee do I have you won't follow me? BATMAN You have my word, Scarecrow. Just don't drop the vial. SCARECROW Actually, Batman, I'd prefer a little insurance that you'll be otherwise occupied! BATMAN Oof! CROWD (cheering) BATMAN (grunts) CROWD Oh! BATMAN (gasps) BOSEMAN It's a fumble! This could mean disaster for Gotham! BOSEMAN Wait... Look at that! ROBIN Woah! BOSEMAN What a recovery! REFEREE (blows whistle) CROWD (cheering) COMMISSIONER JAMES GORDON It's a waste of time, money, and manpower. GORDON If I had the authority to block it, I would. DETECTIVE HARVEY BULLOCK Come on, Commissioner. DETECTIVE HARVEY BULLOCK It's free eats, and you get your picture in the paper. BULLOCK It's a good deal! GORDON Testimonial in honor of Police Commissioner James Gordon. GORDON Tuesday night, the Gotham Peregrinators Club. GORDON Blasted waste of time! BATMAN Most of the force would disagree with you. GORDON Huh! If anyone should be getting a testimonial, it's you. BATMAN I'm just the night shift. BATMAN You deal with this mess twenty-four hours a day. BATMAN That's what those people want to honor. GORDON Okay, okay, what the heck? GORDON It's a fancy club, good food. Could be fun. GORDON You don't know where I can rent a tux, d -- do you? GORDON Uh, I hate it when he does that! GORDON Mean anything to you? GORDON Don't touch it! You'll break the evidence chain. KYODAI KEN Hee-yah! WAYNE Ha! KYODAI and WAYNE (struggling) WAYNE Woah! Oof! YORU SENSEI The match is over. Kyodai is the victor. KYODAI Don't be depressed, Wayne-san. KYODAI You're not bad, for a rich man's pampered son. (laughs) KYODAI (screams) Oof! YORU There's always someone better, Kyodai Ken. YORU Now apologize for your remark. KYODAI Once again you approach unseen, dark one. KYODAI You would have made a good ninja. BATMAN I would prefer to be a Samurai. KYODAI But you are like me. A warrior of the night! BATMAN So it would seem. KYODAI Let us face each other in the open, man to man. KYODAI Samurai do not hide behind masks. BATMAN Alright. Take your best shot! KYODAI Ya! Ya! BATMAN Ha! Hunh! KYODAI Ya! BATMAN (grunts) BATMAN & KYODAI (fighting) KYODAI Hai! HUGO STRANGE Perhaps the loss of your parents? STRANGE Were they taken from you by violence? WAYNE What happened to my parents is no secret. STRANGE But no one knows that you feel it was your fault, yes? WAYNE I was only a child. There was nothing I could do. STRANGE But you wanted to do something. You were filled with anger. STRANGE You desired... what? STRANGE A need filled you. All-consuming. All-controlling. STRANGE What was it, Mister Wayne? What was it? WAYNE I... wanted... STRANGE Yes? WAYNE Revenge! BATMAN The dock fire was an accident. BATMAN She had nothing to fear from the truth. STRANGE But you do, Batman. STRANGE Soon the whole world will know that you are really Bruce Wayne! STRANGE You created that tape in the theater by imagining me saying those lies. STRANGE But the tape of YOUR thoughts is the TRUTH! STRANGE I know your secret! WAYNE What secret is that? STRANGE No! It is impossible! BATMAN Strange, I knew from the start your machine could read minds. BATMAN That's why I asked Bruce Wayne to help me expose you. WAYNE And I was glad to do it! Maria Vargas is a friend of mine. GORDON Let's go. You'll have lots of time to think about it in prison. *** GRAYSON Not bad, huh? *** Maybe I'll shuck this crime fighting gig and try Hollywood! *** I wish you weren't so tall, though. *** Walking in these leg-extension braces is a pain. RIDDLER Well, well. Bat something or other, isn't it? RIDDLER Who invited you? RIDDLER You know what happens to gate crashers? RIDDLER They have to match wits with... RIDDLER The Riddler! BATMAN The Riddler? BATMAN What is that, Nygma? Some kind of joke on your name? ROBIN Nygma? RIDDLER My, my. RIDDLER Can we actually have a brain beneath that pointy cowl of ours? RIDDLER So tell me: have you brawn to match? RIDDLER (snaps) RIDDLER GOON 1 Rrrgh! RIDDLER GOON 1 Oof! RIDDLER GOON 2 (grunts) BATMAN Get on! ROBIN Just one question: how? BATMAN I linked it to my palm-top computer. RIDDLER That is grand-scale cheating, Batman! RIDDLER You're not allowed to tamper with the hand of fate! BATMAN I don't believe in fate! RIDDLER You probably don't believe in minotaurs either, RIDDLER but you'll still have to answer the riddle. MINOTAUR I have billions of eyes, yet I live in darkness. MINOTAUR I have millions of ears, yet only four lobes. MINOTAUR I have no muscle, yet I rule two hemispheres. MINOTAUR What am I? BATMAN That's simple! The human brain! BATMAN It has billions of optic and auditory nerves, four lobes and two hemispheres, BATMAN and it's the only thing Edward Nygma respects. RIDDLER A lucky guess, that's all. RIDDLER But it won't save you, Batman. RHINO I gotta see the boss. VENTRILOQUIST He -- he's sleeping. He said he's not to be disturbed. RHINO Hey, man, it's important! Batman's on our case! VENTRILOQUIST I see. I'll see what I can do. VENTRILOQUIST (CONT'D) Sir? I'm terribly sorry... SCARFACE Hey, I'm sleepin' here! SCARFACE I lay down, I close my eyes, what's that tell ya? VENTRILOQUIST Yes, sir. But Rhino says it's important. SCARFACE Oh, Rhino says it's important, huh? SCARFACE Well, it better be, or there's gonna be fireworks, get me? SCARFACE Okay, take me out there. SCARFACE This better be good, youse mugs! SCARFACE This is gettin' old, Bats. SCARFACE Last chance, who's the traitor? BATMAN Him! The Ventriloquist! VENTRILOQUIST No! No, he's lying! VENTRILOQUIST I told you when he came into my room! SCARFACE So what? Maybe you did cuz I had you cornered. SCARFACE Heard you talkin' to Batman. BATMAN (voice throwing) Shut up, you block head! SCARFACE What did you say?! VENTRILOQUIST It -- it wasn't me! VENTRILOQUIST I didn't say that. My lips didn't move! SCARFACE So what? You're a ventriloquist! SCARFACE You're also a lying, yellow, liver-bellied, two-faced... VENTRILOQUIST No, Scarface, not me! I'm loyal! I'd never... BATMAN He's been feeding me information in return for legal protection. BATMAN (voice throwing) You're going up the river, sawdust for brains! SCARFACE Why I oughta... Waste the floor flusher! SCARFACE Go on! I gave an order! Ice him! SCARFACE Do it! Do it now! MUGSY Eh -- but boss, we ventilate the Ventriloquist, y -- you're, you know... SCARFACE I'm surrounded by traitors! SCARFACE Okay, fine. You want something done right, do it yourself! BANE Toys. BANE You try to fight me with... pathetic little toys. BATMAN Ugh! BATMAN Ugh! BANE You've got nothing! BANE Beg for mercy! Scream my name! BATMAN Never! BANE You are beaten! Now, I will break you! BANE Eh? BANE No! No! The Venom! Can't stop it! BANE No! You can't do this to me! I am invincible! BANE I am Bane!!! TALIA Filthy creature! BATMAN I've been called worse. BATMAN What happened to... my mask? What have you done with it? TALIA Easier to clean your wounds this way. BATMAN Then you know! You know that I'm... TALIA Hush! Who knows what other ears may be listening? BATMAN Just who are you? What are you doing here? TALIA My name is Talia. TALIA And I too have business with the Society of Shadows. BATMAN What kind of business? TALIA Personal business. Such as I imagine yours must be? BATMAN Point taken. BATMAN It's a simple enough lock. I can get it open with... my belt! TALIA How unfortunate! BATMAN I appreciate the sympathy, but what we need right now is a lock pick. TALIA I know! BATMAN (gasps) BATMAN Mom? Dad? BATMAN No! Stop! No! BATMAN Don't go in there! BATMAN (gasps) BATMAN No! WIZARD Batman. Pff! DOCTOR LESLIE THOMPKINS You seem quieter than usual tonight. BATMAN Every year I come here, I wonder if it should be the last time. BATMAN If I should put the past behind me. BATMAN Try to lead a normal life. LESLIE Santayana says that those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it. BATMAN He also said a fanatic is someone who redoubles his efforts while losing sight of his goal. BATMAN No! It can't be! RA'S AL GHUL So, they know your identity, Detective. BATMAN Who are you!? How did you get in here!? RA'S You must forgive Ubu, detective, he is well trained. RA'S Allow me to introduce myself. RA'S I am he who is called Ra's al Ghul. BATMAN The Demon's Head. I thought you were only a legend. RA'S I am quite real. And, as I am sure you realize by now, RA'S my reputation for resourcefulness is well-deserved. RA'S As you can see, we have a common problem. RA'S Your ward was abducted on the same night as my daughter. RA'S You do remember my daughter? BATMAN You're Talia's father? ROBIN We've killed him. TALIA No! All is well. RA'S AL GHUL (screams) RA'S AL GHUL (screams) RA'S AL GHUL (laughs maniacally) MISTER HALEY Direct your attention high above the center ring... MISTER HALEY ...for a dazzling display of aerial artistry! *** Hey, that's the guy the... MRS. GRAYSON Come on, honey. We're on. HALEY Performing death-defying stunts without the aid of a net, HAYLEY the fabulous Flying Graysons! CROWD (cheering) *** (gasps) *** Dad! CROWD (screams, gasps) WAYNE I know it must be very difficult. *** If only I could've stopped him. I saw him coming out of the tent! *** I knew he didn't belong there! WAYNE I know. WAYNE You keep thinking, if only I'd done something differently. WAYNE If only I could've... warned them. WAYNE But there isn't anything you could've done. WAYNE There isn't anything either of us could've done. *** Your mom and dad? *** Does the hurt ever go away? WAYNE I wish I could say yes. WAYNE But it will get better in time, for you. WAYNE That I promise. ROBIN You deceived me! ROBIN You can't take this one! Zucco's mine! BATMAN Sorry, Robin. But on this team, I call the shots. ROBIN But I've waited half my life... BATMAN Batman out! ROBIN Oh, no. He's not gonna ace me out! TONY ZUCCO Woah! ZUCCO Ah! ZUCCO I don't believe this! ROBIN You're through, Zucco. Forever. ZUCCO Is that so, birdie boy? ZUCCO (grunts) ZUCCO Huh? ROBIN I've waited a long time! ZUCCO Woah! Oof! ZUCCO Keep away from me! ZUCCO (screams) ZUCCO No! ZUCCO Don't! ZUCCO Please! BATMAN Robin! BATMAN Enough. BARBARA GORDON Get my father out of here! MAYOR HAMILTON HILL What about you? BARBARA I'm gonna help Batman. BATMAN (struggling) BATMAN Woah... Oof! BATMAN Oof! BATMAN (gasps) BARBARA (gasps) BATMAN (breathing heavily) GORDON Barbara! Where's Barbara? HARDAC Core systems damaged. The plan has failed. BATGIRL (grunts) BATGIRL Oof! DRIVER What the? DRIVER (screams) THUGS (groaning) ROBIN Wait! ROBIN A girl? THUG 1 Oof! ROBIN The lady's with me, gents! GIL MASON At least you won't have to worry about Barbara. MASON I'll take good care of her. She's very fond of me, you know. GORDON You piece of ***! GORDON I may not be around to stop you, but I know someone who will! MASON I wouldn't count on it, Jim. MASON There's been a recent decline in the bat population. MASON Aah! BATGIRL Run, Commissioner! THUGS (coughing) TWO-FACE Get him! GORDON Batgirl, I presume? BATGIRL Don't worry. I'll get you out of this. Somehow... THUG 1 Aah! THUG 2 Oof! ROBIN Miss me? BATGIRL I think you're safe now, sir. IVY Hello, boys. IVY Get me an herbal tea and deal me in. CROC Scram, lady! CROC This is a private... CROC Oof! CROC Why, you little... CROC Ugh! TWO-FACE Poison Ivy. IVY It's been a long time, Harvey. IVY You're still looking... halfway decent. TWO-FACE Half of me wants to strangle ya. IVY And what does the other half want? TWO-FACE To hit ya with a truck. IVY We used to date. JOKER & PENGUIN Ah... PENGUIN What brings such a dainty dove to this dismal den? GAMBLER Wha? Aaah! IVY Running from the law. And the Batman too, of course. PENGUIN Of course. JOKER Likewise. TWO-FACE You got it. CROC Uh, same here. CROC You'd think one of us would've got 'im by now. PENGUIN I've come the closest. IVY Are you kidding? I was the one who nearly... TWO-FACE Nobody's come closer to snuffin' the Batman than me. TWO-FACE Here's the deal: the coin lands face down, you'll be squashed flat. TWO-FACE It lands face up, you'll just break every bone in your body. TWO-FACE Hey! Where's my coin? TWO-FACE Anybody see where I...? TWO-FACE Oh, no! TWO-FACE No! Punch it now! BATMAN (struggling) JOKER You of all people should've realized there'd be a Joker in the deck! JOKER (laughs) JOKER Uh! JOKER Why can't he ever stay dead!? JOKER (laughs) BATMAN (grunts) JOKER Gotcha! JOKER Yes! (laughs) JOKER CASINO Ha ha ha ha ha! JOKER CASINO Ha ha ha ha ha! JOKER That's it! Chew him up and spit him out! (laughs) PENGUIN Tally-ho! PENGUIN And who says opera has to be boring? VERONICA VREELAND No! PIERCE CHAPMAN Help! PENGUIN (laughs) VERONICA (screams) VERONICA & PIERCE (gasping) PENGUIN We'll end this on a high note! BATMAN (grunts) PENGUIN Woah! PENGUIN Oof! PENGUIN Woah! PENGUIN Ugh! CATWOMAN (groans) CATWOMAN Isis? ISIS (meows) CATWOMAN (groaning) CATWOMAN What's happening to me? CATWOMAN Isis! CATWOMAN Uh! CATWOMAN (groans) CATWOMAN (gasps) CATWOMAN Stay away from me! CATWOMAN No! BATMAN Catwoman! It's me! CATWOMAN Batman? BATMAN You're hot! CATWOMAN Now you notice. BATMAN I've got to get you to a doctor. RIDDLER Move according to the rules, or it's the end of the day. BATMAN Aah! RIDDLER Wrong move, Batman. BATMAN (grunts) ROBIN I got it! They call you the Dark Knight, right? ROBIN Then you have to move like a knight! ROBIN That's it! Two up, one across. ROBIN Cuz a wrong move means the end of the day, or... BATMAN Knight fall! Of course! BATMAN Nygma! What are you up to now? BATMAN Augh! CLAYFACE Time for your final bow, Batman! STELLA Matthew, no! You can't! CLAYFACE It's the only way! STELLA Please, stop it! CLAYFACE Think, Stella! Do you want Matt Hagen, or this? STELLA No... CLAYFACE No, you don't! STELLA Is -- is he...? CLAYFACE Almost. I can feel his heart slowing. Slowing. CLAYFACE (laughs) CLAYFACE Huh? CLAYFACE Argh! STELLA (screams) CLAYFACE Argh! SIDNEY Naturally, it didn't take the cops long to seal off the building. SIDNEY Not that it mattered to mister happy. JOKER Where is he? He's never been this late before! JOKER There's a certain rhythm to these things: JOKER I cause trouble, he shows up. JOKER We have some laughs, and the game starts all over again. JOKER Only now, thanks to you, JOKER I have this terrible feeling he's... really not coming. HARLEY QUINN Whee! Look at all the pretties! JOKER Put them back, Harley. HARLEY Oh, Mister J, you're such a kidder! HARLEY You never could... HARLEY (chokes) JOKER I said put them back! HARLEY (screams) Ugh! Aah! Oof! HARLEY Sure, boss, I can do that. HARLEY This is me puttin' 'em back. No problemo. HARLEY (laughs nervously) JOKER Without Batman, crime has no punch line. HARLEY I remember when I would go drivin' like this with Mister J. IVY "Mister J! Mister J!" Oh, change the record, Harl. IVY You want to be some wacko's victim the rest of your life? HOOD 1 Well, hello! HOOD 2 I think I'm in love! (kissing noises) HOOD 3 Ahooga! Ahooga! HOOD 1 Ow! IVY Excuse me, boys. IVY Didn't your mommies tell you that's not the nice way to get a lady's attention? HOOD 1 Oh, and what are you gonna do? Spank us? HARLEY That's right, pigs! And here's the paddle! HOODS (screaming) IVY There may be hope for you yet! FREEZE I failed you. FREEZE I wish there were another way for me to say it. FREEZE I cannot. FREEZE I can only beg your forgiveness, and pray you hear me somehow. FREEZE Some place. FREEZE Some place where a warm hand waits for mine. SCARFACE Court is now in session! SCARFACE The good people of Arkham Asylum... SCARFACE ...versus the self-righteous vigilante called Batman! SCARFACE Our prosecutor is ready, likewise our fair and impartial jury. MAD HATTER Hang him! HARLEY Shoot him! CROC Hit him with a rock! SCARFACE And now, all rise for the most honorable, most benevolent, most merciful... SCARFACE Judge Joker! INMATES (cheering) JOKER Guilty! JANET VAN DORN I was promised a chance to defend my client! JOKER Oh, very well. Like it'll make a difference. JOKER Mister prosecutor, make your opening statement. TWO-FACE Look at us. We're all freaks and monsters. TWO-FACE And who made us this way? TWO-FACE Batman! INMATES (cheering) SIMON TRENT What do you want from me? BATMAN Some mad man is blowing up Gotham piece by piece. BATMAN Somehow it's connected to the Gray Ghost. To you. TRENT What are you talking about? I'm just an actor. TRENT The Gray Ghost was a part I played! BATMAN The bombings in Gotham are exactly like an episode of the Gray Ghost. BATMAN I need you to remember how it was done. TRENT I made hundreds of those shows, they're all a blur! TRENT Now leave me alone. Just leave me alone! TRENT That noise! BATMAN Wait! BATMAN DUPLICANT I know all your moves, Batman. BATMAN So why don't you finish me off? BATMAN Or have you become enough like me to know that I won't take a life? BATMAN You knew I'd be able to dodge that in time. BATMAN I suspect you not only won't kill, you can't. BATMAN DUPLICANT Impossible! I am programmed to serve HARDAC. CLOCK KING Not that it matters anymore. CLOCK KING Now that you have an appointment to keep. CLOCK KING At three fifteen precisely. CLOCK KING With the Grim Reaper! CLOCK KING (laughs) CLOCK KING (gasps) BATMAN I'm here to clean your clock, Fugate. CLOCK KING Don't count on it, Batman. CLOCK KING When it comes to clocks, I am king. CLOCK KING En garde! BATMAN (grunts) BATMAN Huh? BATMAN Augh! BATMAN Oof! BATMAN Ugh! Eh! Huh? Woah! Oof! BATMAN Give it up, Fugate! BATMAN Hill committed no crime against you. CLOCK KING He did worse: He made me late! ROBIN They're gettin' away! BATMAN We'll get 'em! BATMAN (gasps) ROBIN No! BABY (screams) BABY Mommys! BABY (sobs) I -- lost my -- mommy! ROBIN It's okay. MIRIAM Oh, my baby! BABY Mommy! MIRIAM Naughty, naughty baby! MIRIAM Haven't I told you not to run off? BABY I didn't mean to. BATMAN Hold it! BABY Naughty mister Batmans. You play too rough. BATMAN & ROBIN (coughing) CONDIMENT KING So long, suckers! Parting is such sweet and sour sorrow! CONDIMENT KING (laughs) CONDIMENT KING Woah! Oof! CONDIMENT KING What's this? CONDIMENT KING Ah, the big bad bat guy. CONDIMENT KING I knew you'd catch up to me sooner or later. CONDIMENT KING How I've relished this meeting. CONDIMENT KING You, the dynamic Dark Knight, CONDIMENT KING ...versus me, the conceptual Condiment King! CONDIMENT KING Come, Batman, let's see if you can cut the mustar-- CONDIMENT KING Oof! BATMAN Quiet! CONDIMENT KING Ugh... CONDIMENT KING You hit me! BATMAN Now, listen, Mustard Man, or whatever you call yourself. BATMAN You're obviously new at this, so I'm willing to go easy on you, BATMAN provided you give back the loot and never even think about doing this again. BATMAN Deal? CONDIMENT KING Horseradish! BATMAN This is your last warning! CONDIMENT KING Let's go, batso! You and me! CONDIMENT KING I'm the prince of pickles, sultan of sauce! CONDIMENT KING You don't stand a chance! You hear me? CONDIMENT KING Later, chump... CONDIMENT KING (screams) BATMAN Look out! BATMAN Stand ready! More on the way! BATMAN Stand clear, Robin. ROBIN They don't call ya Batman for nothing! ALFRED Woah! ALFRED Woah! ALFRED Woah! ALFRED Woah! ALFRED This must be the place! Bring us down! BATWING Negative. ALFRED But Master Bruce is down here! We have to land! BATWING Impossible. Area too confined. ALFRED Land, you bucket of bolts! BATWING Your funeral. ALFRED Oh dear... (screams) WAYNE Son of a gun... BATWING Watch your step. RA'S Perhaps, Detective, it is time that you and I finally finish this! RA'S It is the only chance you will have to stop that satellite! RA'S Well? RA'S Are you man enough to face your better? BATMAN If you insist. RA'S Arrgh! BATMAN & RA'S (fighting) BATMAN Give it up, Ra's! You'll destroy yourself! RA'S Arrgh! BATMAN Ugh! TALIA You must understand, beloved. TALIA I share my father's vision and seek the same ends, but I do not choose his means to those ends. BATMAN I know. TALIA What's to become of me, then? Am I to be your prisoner? ROBIN So, it's finally over? Have we seen the last of Ra's al Ghul? BATMAN Looks that way. RA'S AL GHUL (laughs maniacally)