Dark Rainclouds Gather

So now I'm on holiday, woo(!) I'd be a little bit more excited but it's just doesn't feel right at least not right now. I've got such much stuff to do during this holiday, so many things to sort out and I'm also going to the MCM Expo this weekend so that's going to be exciting times, I'm still a little bit unsure who I'm going with so that kind of sucks because I'm not sure who's going, what day they're going so it might be a case that I'll be attending the majority of it or at least one day by myself again but it'll still be fun regardless. Today I'm not really in the greatest of moods simply because it's the funeral of a close neighbour and a close friend of the family and yeah it was kind of depressing seeing my mum and sister get ready to go to the funeral because it's going to be a sad event and I just know that as I sit here recording this they'll come back in tears they'll be crying and I'll just won't know what to say, what to do or anything like that. I didn't go myself because truthfully I just can't do things like that. The energy in the air is going to be solemn and depressing and when that happens it's just going to affect me negatively, when I'm in a negative mood things rarely ever finish well for me so...yeah...that's kind of why my mum didn't ask me to go, she understands this but I did make a point of acknowledging what day it was today so she knows that I know Like ten minutes before I was doing all this I went out to get some hayfever tablets because bleh and I just felt so down, I just kept thinking about the area that I was in, the people that were around me in this area and let's just say that they weren't positive thoughts but I suppose that's just the sort of person that I am and I try to avoid things like that because I know that it doesn't really help me or anything like that but I know that one day that I'm just going to crack and it's not going to be pretty......I suppose that's why this is called "While I'm Sane" after all but yeah There are still positive things in life, I've got the MCM expo to look forward to, I've got two pairs of iD [shoes] coming in, university, I've got some awesome friends as well and I'm still alive and sane, so that's good. Anyway that's all for now, I best be getting on with some of these important stuff that I really should be getting on with because I've been putting off for quite some time so yeah...take care.