Remington Steele S2E9 - English Transcript

ÿþ1 I THINK IT'S TIME TO CONFRONT A SECRET. . . I'VE BEEN CARRYING ALL THESE YEARS. I HAVE LOCATED THE MISSING TWIN. I DON'T HAVE A SISTER. WE NEED SOMETHING DRAMATIC, DARING, - UNEXPECTED. -PYGMALION! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE, ABSURD AND DANGEROUS! IT'S DRAMATIC, DARING, UNEXPECTED. I'M GOING TO GRIND YOU TO LITTLE PIECES. [ Screams ] AH, THANK YOU. AHH. j&j&j&j& [ Doorbell, "Battle Hymn Of The Republic" ] STIRRING, EH? MY. WELL, SHALL WE TRY ANOTHER CHORUS? MAY I HELP YOU? REMINGTON STEELE. I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE MR. CROCKETT. - YOU'RE LATE. - REALLY? I HAVE 10:00, UH, STRAIGHTAWAY. YOU'RE ALSO SLOW. AND WHO MIGHT YOU BE, YOUNG WOMAN? I'M LAURA HOLT, MR. STEELE'S ASSOCIATE. [ Clicks Tongue ] I'M SORRY, MADAM, BUT MR. CROCKETT WISHES TO SEE MR. STEELE ALONE. MISS HOLT AND I WORK VERY CLOSELY. PERHAPS IF YOU TOLD MR. CROCKETT THAT, UM-- NOTHING PERSONAL. IT'S JUST THAT HE DOES NOT BELIEVE WOMEN OUGHT TO BE DOING MEN'S WORK. DOESN'T BELIEVE THEY OUGHT TO BE DOING IT OR DOESN'T BELIEVE THEY'RECAPABLEOF DOING IT? - A LITTLE OF EACH, I SUSPECT. - UH-HUH. WHAT SAY WE TAKE OFF, HAVE BRUNCH AND CATCH A MOVIE? NO, NO, NO. YOU GO ON IN. I'LL WAIT HERE AND CLEAN THE DRAPES OR DO SOME LAUNDRY. OH, YES. THIS WAY, SIR. CERTAINLY. JUST-- MM-HMM. [ Coughing ] MR. STEELE HAS FINALLY ARRIVED. [ Man ] THAT WILL BE ALL, MARKHAM. WELL, LET'S HAVE A LOOK AT YOU. SHALL I STAND AT ATTENTION OR WILL PARADE REST DO? YOU'RE NOT AN AMERICAN, ARE YOU? NO, BUT I'M INORDINATELY FOND OF MOM, APPLE PIE, AND BASEBALL, IF THAT WILL HELP. [ Laughs ] WELL, WHAT THE HELL. YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING. YOU COME HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. FINE REPUTATION. HERE, HELP ME UP. EXACTLY WHAT CAN THE REMINGTON STEELE AGENCY DO FOR YOU, UH, MR. CROCKETT? TWENTY-NINE YEARS AGO, I ADOPTED A DAUGHTER. MAYBE YOU'VE HEARD OF HER. TRACY CROCKETT, A BIT OF A JET-SETTER FROM WHAT I'VE READ. FLAKE WOULD BE A BETTER WORD. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY GIGOLOS I'VE HAD TO PAY OFF, HOW MANY COPS I'VE HAD TO BRIBE, HOW MANY TIMES I'VE HAD TO REPURCHASE ALL HER EARTHLY POSSESSIONS. . . FROM FAD RELIGIOUS GROUPS. WHICH OF THE ABOVE CONCERNS YOU NOW? [ Sighs ] IF IT WERE ONLY THAT SIMPLE. [ Wheezes, Coughs ] NOW THAT I'VE LANDED AT DEATH'S DOOR, I THINK IT'S TIME TO CONFRONT A SECRET I'VE BEEN CARRYING ALL THESE YEARS. TRACY'S GOT A SISTER OUT THERE, ADOPTED BY SOMEBODY ELSE. MORE THAN A SISTER, ACTUALLY, A TWIN, AN IDENTICAL TWIN. THE ADOPTION AGENCY DECIDED TO SPLIT 'EM UP. I DIDN'T FIND OUT ABOUT IT UNTIL MUCH, MUCH LATER. YES, I'VE-I'VE HEARD OF SIMILAR INSTANCES. OH. AH! THIS. . . IS ALL THAT CONCERNS YOU. TWENTY YEARS AGO, I HIRED ANOTHER DETECTIVE AGENCY TO LOCATE TRACY'S SISTER. [ Sighs ] ALL THE INFORMATION IS IN THERE. [ Breathing Heavily ] I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. TOO UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE SITUATION, TOO RELUCTANT TO SHARE TRACY. . . WITH SOMEONE THAT UNIQUELY CLOSE TO HER. [ Coughs ] [ Exhales ] FIND HER, MR. STEELE. DON'T TALK TO HER. DON'T TELL TRACY. JUST FIND HER. [ Grunts, Exhales ] I'LL DECIDE WHAT TO DO FROM THERE ON. OH, FATHER, FATHER, FATHER. I WAS IN ROME WHEN I GOT THE NEWS. YOU POOR MAN! MMM. HOW LONG DOES THE DOCTOR SAY YOU HAVE? HE WON'T EVEN HAZARD A GUESS. MMM. WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK THEN? I BOOKED A RETURN FLIGHT FOR DAY AFTER TOMORROW. OH. TOO SOON? MMM. TOO LATE? MAYBE YOU BETTER STAY AROUND FOR A WHILE. OH. WHAT ABOUT RUDOLPHO? OH, FORGET HIM. YOU, UH, WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE ITALIAN, WOULD YOU? FRAID NOT. WILL YOU BE NEEDING ME ANYMORE TODAY, MISS CROCKETT? NO, ERIC. THAT WILL BE ALL. [ Door Closes ] NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M SURE YOU'D LIKE SOME TIME ALONE WITH YOUR FATHER. WHEREVER DID YOU GET THAT IDEA? SURELY YOU CAN HANG ON FOR A FEW MORE HOURS WHILE I GO SHOPPING. NOW COULDN'T YOU, DEAR? [ Sighs ] SHOPPING? MM-HMM. I SUPPOSE I'LL STILL BE BREATHING WHEN YOU COME BACK. OH, FINE. THEN I'LL SEE YOU FOR TEA. MM-HMM. TA-TA. YOU CAN TELL ME IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS, UH, BUT YOU SEEM RATHER CALLOUS ABOUT YOUR FATHER'S CONDITION. WELL, TO THE NAKED EYE PERHAPS. THE TRUTH IS, IT'S A GAME FATHER AND I PLAY WITH EACH OTHER. YOU SEE, HE'S BEEN DYING FOR 15 YEARS. BUT HE DOES HAVE A KNACK FOR HAVING SEIZURES OR FITS, OR WHATEVER THEY ARE, IN THE NICK OF TIME TO GET ME BACK HOME BEFORE I DISGRACE HIM ANY FURTHER. I DON'T BELIEVE WE'VE MET. OH, FREIDA MILCH, TRACY CROCKETT. I'M DARREN MacGUFFIN. - HMM, FRIENDS OF FATHER'S? - EXACTLY. PERHAPS WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN. MMM, IF YOU WERE ITALIAN, YOU COULD COUNT ON IT. IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, I LOVE LINGUINE. [ Laughs ] GOOD DAY. IT WAS ONE THING WHEN YOU DIDN'T EXIST, AND I WAS PUTTING THINGS OVER ON THOSE SEXIST DOGS OUT THERE, BUT, NOW, I SIMPLY CANNOT STOMACH IT ANYMORE. LAURA, I WAS QUITE CONTENT NOT TO TAKE THE CASE. OH, NO, NO, NO. THE LAST THING I NEED IS A MAN PROTECTING MY HONOR. I AM FULLY CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF MYSELF. THAT IS THE POINT! OKAY. WHATDO YOU WANT, MILDRED? W-WELL, BETWEEN THE COMPUTER AND THE INFORMATION THAT ROSS CROCKETT GAVE YOU, I HAVE LOCATED THE MISSING TWIN. I'M SORRY I SNAPPED AT YOU, MILDRED. OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MISS HOLT. WE GIRLS GET A LITTLE TEMPERAMENTAL AT TIMES. THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH, MILDRED. YES. I AM HERE TO SERVE, CHIEF. OH. [ Kissing Noise ] WHY DON'T YOU SOAK IN A HOT TUB, TAKE A LITTLE HERB TEA AND READ ONE OF THOSE ROMANCE NOVELS? THAT HELPS ME GET THROUGH THOSE EMOTIONAL DAYS. YES. UH, MR. CROCKETT, PLEASE. REMINGTON STEELE HERE. WHAT? WHEN? OH, I SEE. YES. UM, THANK YOU. YES, I UNDERSTAND. WELL? APPARENTLY ROSS CROCKETT WAS A BETTER ACTOR THAN WE GAVE HIM CREDIT FOR. HE JUST CONVINCED HIS DOCTOR HE WAS DEAD. I STILL DON'T FEEL RIGHT ABOUT THIS. ROSS CROCKETT WAS OUR CLIENT, AND HE WASN'T EVEN SURE HE WAS GOING TO TELL HIS DAUGHTER. ] TRACY WOULD WANT TO KNOW, BELIEVE ME. j&j&j&j& [ Doorbell YOU'RE JUST SENSITIVE ABOUT SOMEONE HAVING A SECRET PAST. LAURA, IT'S ONE THING TO CONCEAL YOUR PAST BY DESIGN, ANOTHER THING TO HAVE IT CONCEALED FROM YOU. OH. j&j&j&j& [ Doorbell, "Battle Hymn Of The Republic" ] I'M GROWING RATHER FOND OF THIS LITTLE DITTY. WE'RE HERE TO READ THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF ROSS CROCKETT SR. LOVING HUSBAND. FORGIVING FATHER. - TRUSTING PARTNER. - [ Chuckles ] LOYAL EMPLOYER. OH. NICE OF YOU TO NOTICE ME, SIR. AN ESTATE THE SIZE OF MR. CROCKETT'S NATURALLY DEMANDS PRECISE INSTRUCTIONS. MOST OF THIS IS LEGAL BOILERPLATE, BUT I THINK I CAN GIVE YOU THE GIST OF IT. [ Laughs ] [ Continues Laughing ] TRACY GETS EVERYTHING. UH, I'D LIKE A CLARIFICATION. WHY, CERTAINLY, JUNIOR. YOU LOSE. YOU ALL LOSE. HELLO! [ Sighs ] MISS CROCKETT, WE DON'T MEAN TO INTRUDE. WE'RE TERRIBLY SORRY ABOUT YOUR FATHER. OH, WELL, THE GAME IS OVER. DADDY WAS SERIOUS THIS TIME. IF I HADN'T BEEN SO SELF-CENTERED, I MIGHT HAVE REALIZED IT. YOUR FATHER WAS VERY CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING. WELL, HE CERTAINLY TOOK CARE OF THAT. YOU KNOW, HE-- HE COULDN'T CONTROL ME WHILE HE WAS ALIVE, SO NOW HE'S FOUND A WAY TO DO IT FROM THE GRAVE. [ Chuckles ] DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE'S DONE? HE-- HE LEFT ME ALL HIS COMPANY STOCK. YES, PROVIDED I BECOME CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD AT THE NEXT STOCKHOLDERS' MEETING. OTHERWISE, HIS ENTIRE ESTATE WILL GO TO CHARITY, AND UNCLE NORMAN WILL TAKE OVER CROCKETT INDUSTRIES. UNCLE NORMAN? NO DOUBT THE GRIM-FACED GENTLEMAN WITH THE ROLLS-ROYCE. WELL, I AM NOT GOING TO GO THROUGH LIFE THINKING I LET MY FATHER DOWN. I'M NOT GOING TO BLOW THE ONE REAL CHANCE I HAVE OF MAKING SOMETHING OF MY LIFE. DAMN HIM! SO MUCH FOR MY TRIP TO ROME. [ Steele ] UH, MISS CROCKETT, AH, WE HAVEN'T BEEN ENTIRELY CANDID WITH YOU. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MR. MacGUFFIN? ACTUALLY, UH, I'M REMINGTON STEELE, AND THIS IS MY ASSOCIATE, LAURA HOLT. WE'RE PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS HIRED BY YOUR FATHER. HIRED TO DO WHAT? LOCATE YOUR SISTER. I DON'T HAVE A SISTER. ACCORDING TO THESE, YOU DO. OH, MY GOD! I DIDN'T KNOW. A TWIN SISTER. [ Chuckles ] YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE THIS, BUT I-- I ALWAYS FELT LIKE I WASN'T ENTIRELY WHOLE, LIKE SOME PART OF ME WAS MISSING. DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE? W-WELL, WHO IS SHE? WHERE IS SHE? CAN YOU FIND HER? I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH IT COSTS. YOU BRING HER TO ME! [ Exhales ] MY SISTER. [ Chuckles ] MY IDENTICAL TWIN. IS THAT IT, STUD? CHICKEN SAN, WHEAT, MAYO, FRIES! HEY, ROXIE. HOW ABOUT A LITTLE MORE KETCHUP? YEP. HEY, ROXIE. HOW ABOUT A LITTLE BIT OF THIS? I GOT THE IF IT AIN'T ON THE MENU, FREDDY, IT AIN'T AVAILABLE! AH, YOU NEED MENUS. YOU WANT TO READ, GO TO THE LIBRARY. ROXIE TYLER? THAT'S ME. UH, WE'RE HERE ABOUT YOUR SISTER. THEN YOU GOT THE WRONG ROXIE TYLER, 'CAUSE I AIN'T GOT NO SISTER. WHAT IS THIS? ONE OF THEM TRICK PHOTOS WHERE YOU TAKE SOMEBODY'S HEAD, AND YOU STICK IT ON SOMEBODY ELSE'S PERSON? ROXIE, THIS IS A COPY OF YOUR SISTER'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE, AND THIS IS A COPY OF YOURS. SAME DATE OF BIRTH, SAME NATURAL PARENTS. THIS IS CANDID CAMERA,RIGHT? [ Laughs ] WHERE IS IT? WHERE YA GOT IT HIDIN'? YOU'RE SERIOUS, AREN'T YOU? IF YOU'D LIKE, WE CAN TAKE YOU BACK WITH US. TRACY WANTS TO MEET YOU. TRACY. ARE YOU SURE THIS AIN'T CANDID CAMERA? [ Steele ] THAT'S ODD. THE DOOR'S UNLOCKED. TRACY? TRACY! "CHANGED MY MIND. DECIDED TO GO TO ROME AND SEE RUDOLPHO. LOVE, TRACY. " HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE? WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE OUR BIRD'S FLOWN THE COOP AFTER ALL. WHAT KIND OF A GAME ARE YOU PLAYIN' HERE? IS THIS ONE OF THEM WEIRD THINGS WHERE SOME RICH GUY PAYS YOU TO GO OUT AND BRING BACK GIRLS? JUST-- TRACY CROCKETT MAY BE THE FLAKE HER FATHER CLAIMS. BUT SHE'S NEVER GOING TO GET TO ROME WITHOUT THIS. WHAT IS IT? HER PASSPORT. THANK YOU. YOU'VE BEEN A GREAT HELP. THAT WAS THE LAST AIRLINE TO ROME. IT DOESN'T HAVE A RESERVATION FOR TRACY CROCKETT EITHER. WE HAVE TO ASSUME SHE WASN'T KILLED. THEY WOULD HAVE DONE IT HERE AND GOTTEN IT OVER WITH. DOES THAT MEAN MY SISTER'S BEEN SNATCHED? IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK THAT WAY. WELL, IT'S NO WONDER. OH? I MEAN, SHE MUST BE LOADED. LOOK AT THIS STUFF. MUST BE WORTH A FORTUNE. NOT ONE OF THESE THINGS SAYS "MADE IN TAIWAN. " SOMEONE'S TRYING TO MAKE IT APPEAR. . . AS IF TRACY HAD NO INTENTIONS OF TAKING OVER HER FATHER'S COMPANY. WELL, WE CERTAINLY HAVE A LAUNDRY LIST OF SUSPECTS. [ Laura ] NONE OF THOSE PEOPLE SEEMED TERRIBLY HAPPY AFTER THE READING OF THE WILL. CROCKETT HAD SOME THINGS IN HIS WALL SAFE THAT WERE DEFINITELY NOT FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION. NOW PERHAPS-- PERHAPS THAT'S OUR STARTING POINT. [ Laura ] THE STOCKHOLDERS' MEETING IS IN TWO DAYS. THAT DOESN'T GIVE US TIME TO BE METHODICAL. WE NEED SOMETHING DRAMATIC, DARING, UNEXPECTED TO FLUSH OUT OUR KIDNAPPER. -PYGMALION! - WHAT? - WHO? - LESLIE HOWARD, WENDY HILLER, MGM, UH, 1938. OR, FOR THOSE WHO ENJOYED THE MUSICAL VERSION, MY FAIR LADY. OH, I KNOW THAT ONE. ARE YOU SUGGESTING WE TRANSFORM THIS, THIS-- HEY, WATCH IT, SISTER! KLEPTOMANIAC INTO TRACY CROCKETT? LESLIE HOWARD MANAGED TO DO IT IN 85 MINUTES. THIS ISN'T A MOVIE, AND IT'S DEFINITELY NOT VICTORIAN ENGLAND. YOU'RE AS BAD AS ALL THE REST. WHAT A TYPICALLY CHAUVINIST POINT OF VIEW, THINKING WOMEN ARE PIECES OF CLAY WAITING TO BE MOLDED BY MEN! NONSENSE, LAURA! YOU MOLDED ME, AND LOOK HOW WELL I TURNED OUT. OUT OF THE QUESTION. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE, ABSURD, AND DANGEROUS! IT'S DRAMATIC, DARING AND UNEXPECTED! A WOMAN'S LIFE MAY HANG IN THE BALANCE! ALL THE MORE REASON TO TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS! [ Whistles ] DO I HAVE ANY SAY IN THIS? ABSOLUTELY. OF COURSE. IF YOU THINK THAT MY PRETENDIN' TO BE TRACY COULD SAVE HER LIFE, THEN I SAY LET'S GO FOR IT! AH! THAT-A-GIRL, ROXIE! TRACY. WE SHALL UNVEIL OUR CREATION TOMORROW AFTERNOON. . . AT THE COCKTAIL PARTY TO WELCOME THE STOCKHOLDERS OF CROCKETT INDUSTRIES. CAN'T YOU SEE THE REACTION OF THE GUILTY PARTY WHEN TRACY CROCKETT SWEEPS IN? HE OR SHE WILL RUSH TO WHEREVER THE REAL TRACY IS HIDDEN, CONCERNED THAT SHE DIDN'T GET LOOSE. PERHAPS, EVEN BETTER STILL, THEY WILL BREAK DOWN THERE AND THEN, TERRIFIED THAT TRACY CAN IDENTIFY HER KIDNAPPERS. I TELL YOU, LAURA. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD OF US. HE WORKIN' THE CASE TOO? [ Whistling ] I MEAN, WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG, EH? RELAX. MILDRED'S TRYING TO SCRUB OUT TA-DUM, TA-DUM! PRESENTING MISS TRACY CROCKETT. [ Laura ] AMAZING! [ Steele ] AN EXACT REPLICA. BRAVO! OH! OOPS. "EYETALIAN" SHOES. I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY WALK ON THESE. EASY. NO WONDER THEY BUILD TOWERS THAT LEAN. YES, WELL, IT APPEARS WE HAVE A WAY TO GO, YET, DOESN'T IT? YES. I MEAN HAIR, MAKEUP, CLOTHES-- THAT'S ALL EXTERNAL. BREEDING, THAT'S WHAT DISTINGUISHES BETWEEN DROSS AND GOLD. NO OFFENSE INTENDED. OH, YOU CAN OFFEND ME ALL YOU WANT. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HALF THE THINGS YOU SAY ANYWAY. THE WAY A PERSON WALKS, TALKS, HOLDS A CIGARETTE, DRINKS A CUP OF TEA-- THAT'S WHAT WE MUST INSTILL IN OUR PROTEÉÉGEÉÉ HERE. PINKY UP. LEGS CROSSED. TOE POINTED. ALL THAT TO DRINK A LOUSY CUP OF TEA? [ Laughs, Exhales ] [ Steele ] AHEM! OOH! CONCENTRATE. [ Mildred ] OH! EYEBROWS ARCHED. CHIN TILTED. HEAD COCKED. I FEEL LIKE THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME. [ Coughing ] I'M BEAT. WILL YOU LET ME SIT DOWN, PLEASE? LAURA, DEMONSTRATE HOW A PROPER LADY WALKS ACROSS THE ROOM, PLEASE. WELL, I COULDN'T WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE WATCHING. COURSE YOU CAN. COME ON. UP YOU GO. UP, UP, UP. REALLY, I-- THERE WE GO. STAND RIGHT THERE. GO. VOILAÁÁ. OH! HMM. THERE WE GO. JUST LIKE MISS HOLT. ONLY BETTER. [ Groans ] [ Sighs ] OH, MY! I THINK SHE'S GOT IT. BY JOVE, I THINK SHE'S GOT IT. [ Laura And Mildred ] BY JOVE, I THINK SHE'S GOT IT! I'VE GOT SOMETHING, ALL RIGHT. SORE PUPPIES. OH! [ Grimaces ] OH! I'M SO SORRY. AH, AH, AH. THE RICH NEVER APOLOGIZE. RIGHT. SO I BROKE YOUR LOUSY EGG. BLOW IT OUT YOUR EAR. MISS CROCKETT! WHO'S HE? THE FAMILY CHAUFFEUR. I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU. I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO PICK YOU UP. OH, PUT YOUR WORRIES TO REST, ERIC. MISS CROCKETT'S JUST FINE. NOW, SHALL WE JOIN THE PARTY, LADIES? j&j&j&j& [ Doorbell Melody ] OH, HEY. THEY GOT A BAND! [ Chuckles ] MISS TRACY! HOW'S IT GOIN', POPS? [ Mouths Words ] I'LL HIT THE SAFE. OKAY. j&j&j&j& [ Piano ] OH, JOLLY GOOD. ALL THE SUSPECTS ARE HERE. [ Clears Throat ] NORMAN BAINES, LOVINGLY REFERRED TO AS UNCLE NORMAN. YOU'RE TRYING TO KEEP HIM FROM GAINING CONTROL OF YOUR FATHER'S COMPANY, AND AT THE MOMENT, HE'S THE MOST LIKELY PERSON TO HAVE KIDNAPPED YOU. JUNIOR CROCKETT, YOUR STEPBROTHER. NO DOUBT HE'S BITTER ABOUT BEING CUT OUT OF HIS LATE FATHER'S WILL. AND CLAUDETTE, YOUR STEPMOTHER. ALSO A SORE LOSER FROM THE LOOKS OF THINGS. MMM! THIS IS BETTER THANDYNASTY. I'LL DO THE HONORS, POP. LITTLE HEAT THERE? [ Roxie ] MM-HMM! DOWN A QUART, HUH? THERE YOU GO. WE'LL SPLIT THE TIPS LATER. [ Chuckles ] QUITE A UNIQUE SENSE OF HUMOR, EH, MARKHAM? HMM? APPALLING DISPLAY. PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THEIR PLACE. [ Norman ] TRACY! I DID NOT EXPECT TO FIND YOU HERE. OH, YEAH? HOW COME? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. IF YOU THINK I'M GONNA LET YOU TAKE OVER THE COMPANY, YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN. AND IF YOU PERSIST IN THIS LUNACY, I'M GOING TO GRIND YOU TO LITTLE PIECES. YOU DON'T SCARE ME, BUSTER. EASY, TRACY. j&j&j&j& [ Doorbell Melody ] DON'T THEY KNOW ANY OTHER SONGS? KEEP AN EYE ON CLAUDETTE AND JUNIOR, OKAY? [ Door Slams ] THERE YOU ARE! NO MATTER HOW MANY LITTLE HENCHMEN YOU SEND TO TAKE AWAY THE GIFTS HE BOUGHT ME, YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY MEMORIES. ROSS CROCKETT LOVED ME AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU WANT YOUR PRECIOUS ANTIQUES? TAKE 'EM, CLAUDETTE. THAT WAS QUITE A FLOOR SHOW, SAMANTHA. IN THE PAST, MY HUSBAND'S MISTRESSES HAVE GONE RATHER MORE QUIETLY, BUT THERE IS ALWAYS A FIRST AND LAST TIME FOR EVERYTHING. IF YOU'RE QUITE FINISHED, YOU MAY GO. AH, MR. BAINES, IF YOU'RE, UH, LOOKING FOR THE LOO, I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS, UH-- [ Shouting ] UP HERE ON THE SECOND FLOOR! I'VE ALWAYS PRAYED TRACY'S TASTE IN MEN WOULD IMPROVE. SO MUCH FOR THE POWER OF PRAYER. [ Door Slams ] OH. LOVELY VIEW UP THERE. NICE PLACE TO READ. [ Mouths Words ] AND I SAID TO HIM, I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY THAT AGAIN, BUSTER. AND HE DID. AND I LIKED IT. [ Crowd Laughs ] TRACY, DEAR, I SUDDENLY HAVE A NEED TO GET SOME FRESH AIR. EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN, PLEASE. EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. SAY GOOD DAY AND GOOD-BYE. EXCUSE ME, PLEASE. [ Clanking ] COME HERE, WILL YOU? YOU HAVE A GIFT FOR THIS SORT OF THING. FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES. WELL, DON'T YOU TAKE THINGS WHEN YOU'RE ON VACATION? THIS ISN'T THE HOLIDAY INN. OKAY, OKAY. I GOTTA GO TO THE HEAD. THE COFFEE GOES RIGHT THROUGH ME. THERE'S A CABANA RIGHT OVER THERE. LET'S HOPE IT'S NAILED DOWN. THANKS FOR THE WARNING. I GOT OUT JUST IN TIME. OH, WELL, YOU MISSED THE GRAND ENTRANCE OF THE MISTRESS. FILL ME IN LATER. HOW IS OUR ELIZA DOOLITTLE DOING? SPLENDID. OH. EXCEPT NO ONE PANICKED AT THE SIGHT OF HER. [ Woman Screams ] [ Grunts, Murmurs ] TAKE HER LEGS. OH. ALL RIGHT. ONE, TWO. OKAY. ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT. [ Coughs ] COME ON. OH. AH! BOY, THIS IS ONE TOUGH PARTY. THERE'S NO DOUBT THAT SOMEONE IS WILLING TO GO TO GREAT PAINS. . . TO INSURE THAT TRACY OR ROXIE MISSES THAT STOCKHOLDERS' MEETING TOMORROW. BOY, YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN. IT HAS TO BE NORMAN. HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO GAINS IF TRACY DOESN'T MAKE IT. IT'S TOO BAD YOU DIDN'T SEE WHO HIT YOU. IF YOU WANT ME TO SAY IT WAS NORMAN, I'LL SAY IT WAS NORMAN. [ Doorbell Rings ] OOH! MR. STEELE! SURELY YOU'VE SEEN A MAN IN A TOWEL BEFORE, MILDRED. OH, WELL, YOU'RE NOT A MAN. YOU'RE MY BOSS. AND WE HAVE TO KEEP THE INTEGRITY OF OUR RESPECTIVE ROLES. OLD-FASHIONED THINKING, MILDRED. WELL, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF I CAME TO THE DOOR WRAPPED IN A TOWEL? QUITE RIGHT, MILDRED. THE EMPLOYER-EMPLOYEE RELATIONSHIP MUST REMAIN SACROSANCT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. MILDRED, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? IT LOOKS LIKE A STOCK LEDGER, BUT ALL THE STOCKS HAVE BEEN TORN OUT. AH, MISSING STOCK, EH? AH! THE PLOT THICKENS. BY JOVE, HERE WE GO. THICKER STILL. SEEMS JUNIOR'S BEEN WRITING I. O. U. 's TO SOME OF OUR BETTER-KNOWN BOOKIES. SO, THE YOUNG CHAP NEVER MET A POINT SPREAD HE DIDN'T LIKE, EH? THEY MUST HAVE GONE TO THE OLD MAN TO MAKE GOOD ON THESE. ASSUMING JUNIOR DOESN'T KICK THE HABIT, NOW THAT THE OLD MAN CAN'T BAIL HIM OUT. BUT NOTHING THAT A NICE, CUSHY JOB FROM UNCLE NORMAN WOULDN'T CURE. OH, LOOK AT THIS. CLAUDETTE AND NORMAN APPEAR TO BE AN ITEM. I THINK IT'S TIME WE PAID YOUR MRS. CROCKETT A VISIT. OH, HAVEN'T YOU GONE THROUGH ENOUGH FOR ONE DAY, BOSS? [ Sighs ] DEDICATION DOESN'T PUNCH A TIME CLOCK, MILDRED. LOCK THE DOOR BEHIND US. MAKE SURE NO ONE GETS IN. MILDRED, SEE IF YOU CAN MAKE HEADS OR TAILS OF ANY OF THESE LEDGER SHEETS, OKAY? OKAY. BYE, ROXIE. MISS HOLT. MM-HMM. THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. BOY, HE'S REALLY SOMETHIN'. I'M EVEN BEGINNIN' TO LIKE THE WAY HE TALKS. CLAWS IN, HONEY. HE'S SPOKEN FOR. j&j&j&j& [ Doorbell Melody ] OH, IT'S YOU. ARE YOU EXPECTED? - IS MRS. CROCKETT AT HOME? - COME BACK IN THE MORNING. WE APPRECIATE THAT WE'RE PUTTING YOU OUT, BUT IT'S IMPORTANT. IT CONCERNS TRACY'S WELFARE. IS THAT SO? WELL, WHAT ABOUT MY WELFARE, HMM? I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER. I CAN'T BE GALLIVANTING AROUND ANSWERING THE BLASTED DOOR IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT. IT'S TIME YOU YOUNG PEOPLE SHOWED SOME RESPECT. IT MUST BE VERY DIFFICULT FOR YOU SINCE MR. CROCKETT PASSED ON, I'M SURE. FORTY YEARS I'VE BEEN WITH HIM, AND NOT ONCE DID HE GIVE ME A KIND WORD. NOW HE'S DEAD. AND WHAT DID HE LEAVE ME? SQUAT! MMM. THAT WAS HIS PREROGATIVE. HOWEVER, SINCE I NO LONGER HAVE HIM TO ANSWER TO, MY PREROGATIVE IS TO TELL YOU TO BUZZ OFF! LET THEM IN, MARKHAM, PLEASE. OH, YOU WANT THEM? YOU LET THEM IN. YOU'RE THOSE, UH, FRIENDS OF TRACY'S, THE ONES WHO SAVED HER FROM DROWNING TODAY, AREN'T YOU? I TRUST YOU WEREN'T TOO DISAPPOINTED, MRS. CROCKETT. DISAPPOINTED? WHAT ARE YOU DRIVING AT? WE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT PREFER NORMAN BAINES AS CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD. WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'D RATHER IT WERE TRACY. EVER SINCE ROSS BECAME ILL AND NORMAN'S BEEN ACTING PRESIDENT, OUR STOCK HAS DROPPED PRECIPITOUSLY. NOW NORMAN INTENDS TO WRITE OFF NEARLY $40 MILLION IN LOSSES. . . DUE TO A BUILDING HE ORDERED CONSTRUCTED AND THEN ABANDONED. EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT, CLAUDETTE? BE RIGHT THERE, REGGIE. [ Chuckles ] ANY BETS YOU HAVEN'T COVERED, MRS. CROCKETT? NONE THAT I CAN THINK OF. THAT'S IT! IF MY SISTER NEVER SHOWS UP, AND I'M MADE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD, THAT'D MEAN I'D GET TO KEEP ALL THIS STUFF, RIGHT? I GOTTA FIND MR. STEELE. I THINK I KNOW WHO'S RESPONSIBLE. . . FOR TRACY'S DISAPPEARANCE. [ Doorknob Rattles ] [ Eric ] TRACY, LOVE, ARE YOU AWAKE? [ Mouths Words ] SORRY WE CROSSED WIRES EARLIER TODAY. OH, IT IS SO GOOD TO BE ALONE WITH YOU AGAIN. UH, LISTEN, IT'S GETTIN' KINDA LATE, AND I'VE GOT A BIG DAY TOMORROW AND, AND I GOT-- I'M GETTIN' THIS HEADACHE. AND MY TOENAILS AIN'T DRY YET! SO WHY DON'T WE JUST EIGHTY-SIX THIS-- [ Grunts, Inhales ] HOW ABOUT A DRINK? WELL, UH, NO! [ Roxie ] MMM. [ Roxie Sighing ] MMM. MMM. HEY, I'M KINDA HUNGRY. WHY DON'T YOU RUN OUT AND GET ME A BURGER, HUH? GET YOURSELF SOMETHIN' TOO. IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER, I'D THINK YOU WERE TRYING TO GET RID OF ME. [ Doorbell ] WHO THE HELL IS THAT? I'LL GET IT. [ Southern Accent ] HOWDY, TRACY CROCKETT. I'M BELLE KREBS OF HOUSTON. NOW, I AM SORRY I MISSED THAT BEER BUST TODAY, HONEY. BUT I WAS MOVING A THOUSAND HEAD OF CATTLE UP TO MARKET IN ABILENE. NOW, LISTEN UP HERE. I GOT ME A PASSEL OF YOUR CROCKETT STOCK. AND I AM FIXIN' TO GIVE YOU MY VOTE TOMORROW-- [ Chuckles ] PROVIDED THAT YOU AND I SPEND A LITTLE TIME TO GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER. KNOW WHAT I MEAN? HEY, THERE. GO ON DOWN THERE AND GET US TWO-FIFTHS OF BOURBON THERE, BOY. 'CAUSE ME AND MISS CROCKETT'S GOT SOME JAWBONIN' TO DO. OH, LORD. THAT'S PRIME, HONEY. THAT'S REAL PRIME. AND DON'T YOU BELIEVE I DON'T KNOW MY MEAT. [ Chuckles ] WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT THERE, BOY? GO ON, GET. YEE-HAW! I'LL SPEAK TO YOU TOMORROW, TRACY. THAT'S A SPIRITED YOUNG BUCK, HONEY. [ Door Closes ] [ Whispers ] OH, MY. [ Sighs, Whimpers ] OH, GOOD. I GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU. THESE LEDGER PAGES THAT ROSS CROCKETT HAD IN HIS SAFE. . . SHOW THAT NORMAN BAINES WAS INTENTIONALLY CAUSING THE COMPANY TO SUFFER LOSSES, SO THE SHAREHOLDERS WOULD SELL THEIR STOCK, THE PRICE WOULD DROP, AND HE COULD BUY THEM UP CHEAPLY. HE OWNS A LOT MORE STOCK NOW THAN ANYONE REALIZES. - SO, NORMAN'S OUR MAN AFTER ALL. - AT YOUR SERVICE. IT'S AMAZING HOW QUICKLY A GUN GETS TO THE HEART OF THINGS. CUTS OUT ALL THE PRE-- JUST WHO ARE YOU? TRACY, UH, CROCKETT. WHATEVER ELSE SHE IS, TRACY CROCKETT IS A LADY. I'VE KNOWN TRUCK DRIVERS MORE LADYLIKE THAN YOU. YEAH? WHO? NICE WORK, PROFESSOR HIGGINS. [ Clears Throat ] IF YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS AN IMPOSTOR, WHY DIDN'T YOU UNMASK HER AT THE PARTY? WELL, WHY SHOULD I? SHE DOESN'T POSE ANY THREAT. NO SHAREHOLDER WOULD VOTE FOR SOMEONE LIKE THIS. FRANKLY, CLAUDETTE, JUNIOR AND I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO EAT HER ALIVE AT THE SHAREHOLDERS' MEETING. - YOU KIDNAPPED TRACY THEN? - SHEWASKIDNAPPED, EH? WELL, I HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THAT, AS YOU WELL KNOW NOW. I HAVE NEARLY ENOUGH SHARES TO DEFEAT HER ANYWAY. NOW, THAT-- THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I CAME FOR. I KNEW ROSS MADE A RECORD OF THAT INFORMATION. OBVIOUSLY, HE NEVER COULD GET IT TO TRACY. TOUGH THAT. FRANKLY, I THINK YOU SHOULD CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY. . . THAT TRACY JUST MIGHT HAVE FLAKED OUT AND LEFT TOWN. HAVE A PLEASANT EVENING. BOY, I REALLY BLEW IT, DIDN'T I? OH, YOU GAVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT, ROXIE. [ Phone Rings ] CROCKETT RESIDENCE. YES. YES, I UNDERSTAND. UM, WELL, I'LL HAVE SOMEONE COME DOWN IMMEDIATELY. OH-- OH, AND THANK YOU FOR CALLING US FIRST. THAT WAS AIRPORT SECURITY. TRACY'S CAR HAS BEEN PARKED FOR 48 HOURS IN A ONE-HOUR ZONE. THEY'RE GOING TO TOW IT IF WE DON'T SEND SOMEONE DOWN TO MOVE IT. THE AIRPORT? THANK YOU. THANKS. VERY NICE. THANK YOU. I GUESS THIS DIDN'T MEAN TOO MUCH TO HER AFTER ALL. MUD AND CEMENT. IT'S STILL DAMP. [ Steele ] WE HAVE BEEN BLIND. WE HAVE BEEN ASSUMING IF TRACY WAS KIDNAPPED, THE KIDNAPPER TOOK HER TO GAIN CONTROL. . . THROUGH NORMAN TAKING OVER THE CORPORATION. RIGHT. WE FORGOT WHAT HAPPENS TO ROSS'S ESTATE IF TRACY ISN'T ELECTED CHAIRMAN. IT GOES TO CHARITY. AND HERE'S THE LIST. INCLUDING A CHARITABLE ORGANIZATION. . . WHICH JUST HAPPENS TO BE CONTROLLED BY CROCKETT'S MISTRESS, SAMANTHA DONAHUE. - MISS DONAHUE? - THAT'S RIGHT. WE'RE FROM JAGLOM AND JAGLOM, UH, THE INVESTMENT COUNSELING FIRM. WE'RE CHECKING OUT CHARITABLE ORGANIZATIONS TO SEE WHICH MIGHT BE SUITABLE. . . FOR OUR CLIENTS TO MAKE CONTRIBUTIONS TO. OH, WELL, AS YOU CAN SEE, WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED HERE, BUT WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW? WHAT KIND OF A SERVICE DOES THE LOVER'S FUND PROVIDE? QUITE SIMPLE. WE PROVIDE MONEY FOR BROKENHEARTED LOVERS. IF YOU'VE GIVEN YOUR TIME, YOUR ENERGY, AND YOUR LOVE, AND YOUR PARTNER HAS UPPED AND LEFT YOU OR DIED, WE MAKE SURE YOU'RE TAKEN CARE OF. OH! SHOULDN'T YOU BE ABLE TO PROVIDE FOR YOURSELF? SOME OF US CAN. SOME OF US DON'T WANT TO. IT IS FOR THE LATTER THAT THIS CHARITY EXISTS. WE HELP AVOID MESSY AND EXPENSIVE PALIMONY SUITS, AND, OF COURSE, ALL CONTRIBUTIONS MADE TO US ARE TAX DEDUCTIBLE. OH, WHAT AN ENLIGHTENED APPROACH, EH? WHAT SORT OF CAPITALIZATION DO YOU HAVE? WE EXPECT TO BE VERY WELL ENDOWED. . . BY AN ANONYMOUS DONOR. HMM. THAT WOULDN'T BE ROSS CROCKETT. HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? I THINK YOU TWO HAD BETTER LEAVE. WHERE HAVE YOU HIDDEN TRACY? DID CLAUDETTE SEND YOU HERE? LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT TRACY MISSING, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT. AND I DON'T NEED ANY OF ROSS'S ESTATE, BECAUSE HE TOOK VERY GOOD CARE OF ME BEFORE HE DIED. THE MISSING STOCK. WHEN DID HE GIVE YOU THIS? THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM. HE'D BEEN OUT AT THAT BUILDING THAT NORMAN'S PUTTING UP AND GOING BUST ON. ROSS HAD THESE IN HIS BRIEFCASE, AND HE SIGNED THEM OVER TO ME. . . IN APPRECIATION FOR BEING ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD THAT HE CAN TRUST. THAT'S IT. THAT BUILDING! THE CONSTRUCTION SITE. THE MUD AND CEMENT ON TRACY'S CAR! OF COURSE. THE KIDNAPPING'S AN INSIDE JOB. WHAT BETTER PLACE TO KEEP HER THAN A BUILDING THAT'S ALREADY ABANDONED? THANK YOU VERY MUCH. GOOD DAY. MILDRED, GET ROXIE FIXED UP AND OVER TO THE STOCKHOLDERS' MEETING. THEN STALL. DO WHATEVER YOU CAN. WE'LL GET THERE SOON. WITH TRACY, I HOPE. [ Mildred Whispering ] I CAN'T! THEY'RE GONNA SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME. NO, THEY WON'T. I'M GONNA MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF AND MY SISTER. JUST TALK ABOUT CORPORATE RESPONSIBILITY AND FISCAL PRIDE. NO-- IF THEY ASK YOU A QUESTION, YOU ASK THEM TO REPEAT IT. IF THEY ASK YOU WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT SOMETHING, YOU ASKTHEM WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT IT. TELL 'EM YOU HAVE THE ISSUE UNDER STUDY. BELIEVE ME, HONEY. IT'S WORKED IN WASHINGTON FOR YEARS. SHE'S GOTTA BE HERE SOMEWHERE. [ Sighs ] LET'S GO. [ Sighs ] I JUST DON'T SEE ANYPLACE SHE COULD BE HIDDEN. ALIVE, YOU MEAN. THINK! THINK! IF YOU WERE A KIDNAPPER, WHERE WOULD YOU HIDE HER? OH, WELL. THAT'S QUITE A PLAN THEY HAD. YES, GAS PUMPS AND ALL. GAS PUMPS? FOR GAS PUMPS, YOU NEED GAS TANKS. BIG UNDERGROUND GAS TANKS. [ Steele ] SOMEWHERE OVER THERE. YEAH, THERE IT IS. [ Clunking ] UH, WAIT. THERE IT IS! TRACY! TRACY! [ Tracy ] NO! DON'T BOTHER! IT DOESN'T HAVE NEARLY THE VIEW I WAS LED TO BELIEVE IT HAD. [ Chattering ] WHEN ARE THEY GONNA GET HERE, MISS KREBS? SOON, ROXIE. SOON. MORNING. NORMAN BAINES OF CROCKETT INDUSTRIES. I'D LIKE TO MAKE A SPECIAL INTRODUCTION THIS MORNING. I'VE, UH, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET THE DAUGHTER OF OUR LATE, GREAT CHAIRMAN. ATTENDING HER FIRST STOCKHOLDERS' MEETING, MISS TRACY CROCKETT. [ Applause ] GO GET 'EM, KID. [ Grunts ] NOW, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY A FEW WORDS? THEN, PERHAPS, WE COULD MAKE AN OPEN FORUM FOR QUESTIONS. TELL 'EM ABOUT YOUR LAST TRIP TO ROME, TRACY. DID YOU BRING YOUR SLIDES? [ Laughter ] TRACY, WHAT DO YOU SEE AS THE FUTURE FOR CROCKETT INDUSTRIES? WHAT CAN THESE GOOD SHAREHOLDERS LOOK FORWARD TO? WELL-- [ Feedback ] [ Murmuring ] WELL-- [ Chuckles ] I DON'T KNOW. BUT I AM STUDYING THE ISSUE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEAVE AND THEN COME BACK AFTER YOU'VE FINISHED STUDYING? DON'T WORRY, TRACY. EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. YEAH. SURE IT IS. FATHER'S ESTATE WILL GO TO CHARITY. AND NORMAN, CLAUDETTE, JUNIOR AND SAMANTHA WILL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. I JUST WISH I KNEW WHICH ONE OF THEM DID THIS TO ME. BUT ALL I REMEMBER IS SOMEONE WITH A SKI MASK. . . AND THEN CHLOROFORM AND LIGHTS OUT. TOO BAD YOUR BOYFRIEND WASN'T AROUND TO PROTECT YOU. MMM. RUDOLPHO'S IN ROME. I WAS REFERRING TO ERIC. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ERIC'S OUR CHAUFFEUR. THEN SHOWING UP LAST NIGHT WAS JUST AN ACT. . . TO SEE IF HE COULD PUT ROXIE OUT OF COMMISSION TOO. SO ERIC KIDNAPPED TRACY. THAT'S RIGHT. AND IF YOU REMEMBER, AFTER ROXIE ARRIVED AT THE PARTY, HE LEFT IMMEDIATELY. TO SEE IF TRACY HAD GOTTEN LOOSE. HE MUST BE WORKING FOR SOMEBODY. WE BETTER MAKE OUR MOVE. HE MAY BE AFTER ROXIE RIGHT NOW. WARM IT UP, FRED. [ Engine Starts ] TRACY, I KNOW THAT YOU HOLD THE PRESENT MANAGEMENT RESPONSIBLE. . . FOR THE COMPANY'S RECENT LOSSES. WHAT WOULDYOUDO TO CUT THE LOSSES? I'D CAN THE PRESENT MANAGEMENT, STARTIN' WITH YOU. [ Laughter, Applause ] [ Claudette ] DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU'RE IN FAVOR OF WASTING EVEN MORE. . . THAN THE $40 MILLION, WHICH HAS ALREADY BEEN SPENT-- [ Grunting ] DON'T BE IN SUCH A HURRY, MATE. WHY DON'T YOU TELL US WHO HIRED YOU TO ABDUCT TRACY? HERE YOU GO. HUH? [ Roxie ] RAFFLE IT OFF. [ Roxie ] I MEAN, WHY SHOULD WE ALL LOSE 40 MILLION BUCKS? ERIC ALAN MARKHAM? MARKHAM? LAURA, DOES THIS MEAN. . . THE BUTLER DID IT? [ Roxie ] . . . 10 BUCKS A HEAD AND WE'RE EVEN! [ Gunshot ] [ Crowd Screaming ] STOP MOVING, DAMN YOU! - WHAT DID I EVER DO TOYOU? - NOTHING PERSONAL. BUT THERE ARE VALUES IN THIS WORLD THAT MUST BE UPHELD. AND IF YOU CHOOSE TO TRAMPLE THEM, YOU DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK. VALUES? WHAT VALUES? YOU'RE THE ONE TRYIN' TO KILL ME! DON'T I HAVE SOME VALUE? A WOMAN DOES NOT BELONG AT THE HEAD OF A MAJOR CORPORATION! YEAH? WELL, WHERE DOES SHE BELONG? SERVIN' CHEESEBURGERS AT A TRUCK STOP? - SURE, THAT'S FINE. - DAD! LOOK OUT! GOOD SHOT. [ Grunting ] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I BELIEVE THIS MEETING IS ADJOURNED. [ Knocking ] SEEING VISITORS? SURE. AH. SO, YOU'RE TRACY, HUH? DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES? MMM. BUT FOR THE LUCK OF THE DRAW, ROXIE COULD HAVE BEEN THE HEIRESS AND TRACY THE WAITRESS. A PERSON CAN'T LET HIS BIRTHRIGHT STOP HIM. LOOK AT YOU. WELL, I'VE BEEN LUCKY. I'VE ENCOUNTERED GOOD OPPORTUNITIES. AND YOU'VE MADE THE MOST OF THEM. HOWEVER YOU BEGAN, YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY, BABY. I, PERHAPS-- ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT THERE ARE THOSE CLOSE TO YOU WHO HAVEN'T BEEN AS FORTUNATE. . . OR HAVEN'T HAD THE SAME ABILITIES? LAURA, THERE ARE BITS AND PIECES IN MY PAST THAT ARE AS OBSCURE TO ME AS THEY ARE TO YOU. AND IT'S AT MOMENTS LIKE THIS THAT I REALIZE THEY'RE LESS PAINFUL THAT WAY. WOULD YOU BE ADVERSE TO, UH, CHANGING THE SUBJECT? HMM. DINNER AND A MOVIE, MR. STEELE? I'D LIKE THAT VERY MUCH, MISS HOLT. [ Mews ]