High Social Anxiety And Low Self Esteem - You can suck it.

Hello, lovelies. There's no fancy segue into this. There's no fluffy way. It's all a bit in your face. I used to suffer from high social anxiety and low self-esteem. But it was more like high social anxiety, low self-esteem. I wanted to talk to you really about my experiences of that and what helped me get over that. Up until last September, I absolutely thought that I was just built this way, that I was always going to be socially anxious, that I was a natural-born worrier, that I was shy, and awkward, and that's just how I was. I was also the absolute queen of putting myself down, beating myself up, comparing myself unfavorably to everybody else in the world. They were pretty, funny, sexy, popular. And I was fat, boring, ugly, and lonely. Things really came to a head last summer, which I spent in the company of one of the most miserable, unpleasant, and negative people I ever met in my life, me. You're ugly and weird looking. You're fat as well. Oh, you've joined Weight Watchers, have you? That won't last. It's not like you've got anyone to care about you. All your friends will go off, and get married, and have children, and you'll be single forever. Who would want you? They're all out having a fabulous time without you. You'd just have brought the atmosphere down. No one would have enjoyed it if you'd gone. You don't deserve to be happy. You're pathetic, stupid, stupid, stupid. Isn't she a delight? Oh, she just went on and on, constantly belittling any effort that I made. It got to the point where I really had to do something about it. I knew lots of people who had already gone to see Richard Parsons at the Cheltenham Hypnotherapy Clinic. And they had nothing but good things to say about him, so I figured, why not? Let's give it a whirl. Rich suggested that I do the THRIVE programme. I would like to share a few thoughts with you about what I learned and my new attitude to life, I suppose. Watch out for your inner voice. Yeah, remember that *** back there, the one we just shot with the gun? All she needs is shooting in the face. Don't let her have her way. She's wrong. You are brilliant. Never say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to a child. You're fat, and ugly, and nobody will ever love you. Would you say that to a child? No, of course you wouldn't. We treat children with encouragement and love. And that's how you should treat yourself. Be kind. Be kind to other people, but most of all, be kind to yourself. Be interested in the world. Be interested in your friends. Be interested in yourself. Be inquisitive. Be engaged. Don't let life pass you by because you're scared of the unknown. The heart of the matter is that once you realize that all the things you've been stressing out about are actually caused by the way that you are processing these experiences, it's actually a huge relief. Because if you're causing the problem, that is absolutely controllable by you. Sometimes the unexpected happens. It happens to us all. We have to move, or we have to get a new job. The way that you process that external problem is all about what happens in your brain. You could choose to just fall apart and just, that's it. I'm going to give up. I'm not doing it anymore. I have to just sit in my room and do nothing. Or you can take it as an opportunity. If you lose your job, it's an opportunity to maybe retrain, do something different, do something that you have always wanted to do. Thank you, Rich. Thank you for listening. Thank you for showing me all these ways to train my brain to deal with things in a more healthy way. Thank you for making me excited about life again. Now I feel like the adult version of the 15-year-old kid who made up dance routines to Boyzone in her bedroom and wrote bad sitcoms at the back of chemistry lessons. She didn't care if she didn't have a boyfriend. She didn't care what other people thought. She didn't care that she wasn't a cool kid. She just enjoyed herself. That's how I feel now. I'm not crying for things I don't have. I'm not jealous of the life other people are leading. I'm singing. I'm dancing. I'm writing. I'm filming. I'm playing. I'm spinning on office chairs. This is my life. This is how I have felt about things. It may not be the same way that you feel about things. You might be watching this with social anxiety and thinking, no, it's not that easy. You can't just not care what people think. But is it worth giving a try, maybe, just a little bit of a little try? Do you want to hear my three tips for a happy life, unsolicited life advice? Well, we've had a whole video. Let's have some more. Be interested. Be kind. Be ridiculous. My gun, and I don't know how to turn it on?