Unnatural History S1E9 - English Transcript

Henry's got to be down here somewhere. Get me out of here. Hey, wait. You're never going to get away with it. Wait, do you hear that? Help, help, can anyone hear me? Henry? Henry, where are you? Help, HELP! That's him, that's Henry's voice. Wait, wait, wait. What's on the other side of this wall? Help, help me. Uh, it's got to be the doom rooms. This way, this way. [grunting, struggle] It's the iron maiden. We have to get him out of there! No, no, no don't touch it. It's too dangerous. Hey Henry, want a seedling? Thanks. Ah, cool can I get one too? Okay. Hey, you gotta check out the anime table. They're handing out free Manga. Who has time to eat? What's up Griffith? Hi. This place is busier than a Bangkok Bazaar. No, Manga's not a food it's a Hey Henry. Hi. Nevermind. Hey, how'd you get all this free swag? Well, I guess everybody wants me to join their clubs. Speaking of, which one are you going to join? Oh no, I'm all clubbed up. I just popped by for the freebs. But you hate your clubs. Hi Henry. Hi. I know. You complain about them all the time. I know, so what? Hi Henry, want a free drive. Um, sure but I really don't mind paying for gas. If you need a little help Linux lab I can do it any day or night. Anyway. Henry was just telling me I should be joining a club just for the mere pleasure of it. Huh. Now, I realize that in a while most of your decisions were driven be your instincts to, say, find fresh meat but here in the urban jungle we use a little thing called cost benefit analysis. Help. Well the time Jasper wastes on club activities out-weigh how good it looks on his college apps. What if the benefit is just about having fun? Griffinator! Hi. Join the Meta-monster wrestling club. No radiation exposure required. Can we get buttons too? When are you so popular? Yeah, I just noticed that too. Hey Henry. Hi Your kind of bathing in the glow of total acceptance. How is that possible? You said it yourself, people would accept me in due time. Guess now is the time. What's in here? Wow, now this is ***. Agreed, and no swag. Let's leave. I think he means "dope". No ***, magic club? In some tribal societies magicians are rock stars. They are respected and revered and they get the girls. Maggie, what's up guys? Hey, I thought your mom ordered you to quit magic club and join the junior law maker's society. Yeah, she's still trying to groom me for the family business. Matt's moms a senator. Well, thankfully between fundraising and committees and my step sister's wedding, she's utterly clueless about what I'm doing. Must run in the family, face it Matt spellbinders is so lame it needs crutches. Oh really, thanks. Well is this lame? O-M-G, don't tell me it's behind my ear. Ask Jasper, it's in his pocket. Wow. Yawn, let me know when you've been entombed in a block of ice for three weeks. Oh yeah, for sure man. I'll ah, send you a letter by bunny express. Huh, your bunny just expressed himself alright. I'm gearing up my own magic club. The Freak Illusionists so come see me if you want to be a part of the future of magic. [small explosion] Wow, that was nearly impressive. Yeah, Lance is a really good magician but lately his best trick is making all of his old friends disappear. Anyway I don't think the future of magic will ever compare to its past. You guys want to check it out? ***! Dope! The great Houdini, it all started with him. All those over blown shows they do in Vegas, All their tricks originated with this guy. He's the greatest illusionist that ever lived. Hmm, freaky museum exhibit. So this stuff is like Houdini's All this stuff is Houdini's. These are the very same props that made him a worldwide star a hundred years ago. A hundred years ago they had celebrities? It all looks brand new. The museum has acquired it over the years; it's just taken forever to restore them all. Summer internship division of historical rejuvenation. It's all finally going on exhibit but as you can see guys with Spellbinders we don't need lazers to dazzle people. The maiden of death. So what's the trick? No don't! [slam] [laughs] Getting out alive. Houdini was locked inside, he only had a minute until the spikes closed but he still made it out without a scratch. How? See, no one knows. That is why they still call him the great Houdini. Check out this weird jacket. Pfft. Woo, wouldn't want to lose these. Oh. Are those the grand prize tickets from the senior class raffle? You won the raffle? Wait, you entered the raffle? Well, I found a piece of paper on the floor and I thought I was putting it in the recycle bin next thing I know I was handed these. It's for something at the Kennedy Centre. Those are front row seats to the sold out U2 concert! U2 who? The world famous Irish rock band, you cave dweller. I'm kidding! I saw U2 with my parents in Mumbai. Ohhhh, and Muse is opening for them. Well, who are you taking? His cousin, obviouslythe guy who magnanimously agreed to share his bedroom with him. Didn't you already get a car for that? Not from Henry! Are we joining the Spellbinders or not? I'm in! Me too! On one condition I love this part. AAAAHHHHH! [cheers, applause] [background cross-talk] Did you hear all those people cheering? Well, when you give the people what they want. I know you Jasper, joining this club isn't because of liking magic, this is about those tickets. Henry is giving them to me! You don't even like U2, you're just going to sell them. They're meant to be enjoyed. Yes, do you have any idea how much enjoyment they are worth in cold hard currency? The Maiden of death and the Magic Box, to commemorate the opening of the museum's Houdini exhibit we'll be using an illusion performed by the great Houdini himself. And, to help me recreate this act, please welcome Griffin the Great! [applause, cheering] Wow, they like me. They really really like me and I haven't even done anything yet. Alright Smithson, thank you! Today I will be making one very unfortunate soul disappear inside Houdini's magic box. And not just any unfortunate soul but our own Matt Palmer. [applause] Now look closely and observe there are no means of escape. The latch door is the only way in or out. Say goodbye Matt. Tadaaa! [applause, cheering] And now as performed by Houdini hundreds of times. Viola! [laughter, cross-talk] As I said, as performed by Harry Houdini hundreds of times [Audience yelling] What's going on? I can't believe no one's found Matt yet! That's some vanishing act alright. Yeah, and they think it's ours. [police radio] Ah, the junior magicians. Special Agent Fitzgerald of the FBI, thanks for sticking around. We didn't have a choice. Which one of you is Griffin the Great. Okay, Henry. Deep breath, walk me through it, take your time. We rehearsed it over and over. The box was right there, where it is now. And then we helped Matt inside. When the doors locked, he pulls this latch. Secret compartment. It's only big enough for Matt to hide in. How long was he supposed to be in there? Just long enough for me to show the audience an empty box. Then I closed it and said his cue. Which was? And now as performed by Houdini hundreds of times. And then he was supposed to come back round to the front. I opened the door. People clap. That's it. You're absolutely sure there's no other way out. You know Matt Palmer is the child of a United States Senator? You understand that his disappearance could have national security consequences? They understand Smithson High is filled with the children of public officials and rocket scientists and spies and in the case of Miss Winik here war heroes. Hello, Maggie. Hello Senator Palmer. So, this sort of thing doesn't happen in the Junior Law Makers club. Now, I'm just going to ask you a very blunt question, is this a hoax? Senator Palmer, we have no idea what happened? I'm asking because this isn't the first time Matt has disappeared. You think he ducked out on purpose? Ever since he was a boy, Matt has had a long and, for me, a trying history of pranks. Which doesn't change our need to respond aggressively every single time. So we'll clear this place out and I'll do a thorough search of the theater. Anything else? Oh! I found this in this the box. His grandfather's eagle? It's his lucky coin. Matt hasn't gone anyplace without this since seventh grade. Thought so, it's a text from Matt. Mom, okay. ah. I don't know where I am but they haven't hurt me, I'm safe. They want five million dollars at midnight tomorrow or they say I'll never see you again. Mom, I'm really scared! Why didn't they just move all this stuff back to the main exhibit hall? They're pulling every Houdini artifact. They don't want it to seem like they're exploiting Matt's kidnapping. How can someone kidnap him in front of us? In front of all those people and then get him out of the theater without being seen? It wasn't your fault Henry. I was in charge of the trick. I asked him if I could do it that makes it my responsibility. But what could you have done differently? That's exactly what I'm going to ask Lance. Lance Bellini? Do you know any other magicians? Henry, over here, you first, come on. Oh ah, look cuz. I don't want to harsh you mellow but there is something you should consider. It's possible that some of the attention you're getting is because of those tickets. So it's just because I have something they want? Well, yeah but I mean it's not all badit just makes it easier for you to get what you want. Ow! Hey Mike. You gonna order something or you just gonna stand there? Actually, we need to talk to Lance Bellini, is he on caf duty? Can we speak to him? It's important. You know what's important? My time, which you're wasting. Next! Back in line, Lance get out here! Veggie garden wrap for the road? What! It's about Matt. Give me a sec. So Henry, G man! We should chill sometime. Forget it Mike, you're not even in the running. What are you insulating (sic)? I'm not insinuating anything. Speaking of running! Henry! Stop him! So what about Matt? We've seen what's in your bag of tricks, seems you're an expert on making people disappear. I had nothing to do with it, okay? Then why did you run? Because everybody knows Matt and I don't get along. I'm sick of people hassling me like I had something to do with it. Look Lance, you must know how all of these tricks work. What do you think really happened? I'd tell you if I knew, to be honest when I heard about it I thought he was just punking his mom but now who knows? Hey Lance? What's that on your wrist? Oh, it's just a random tattoo, what's on yours? What! Hey! So can I go back to work now? Before Mike steals all my tips. He's lying about something. I know what that something is. Primum Orbis, the crimson ring. Yeah, the robes take it kind of over the top for me. What's the crimson ring? A secret magic society or at least they used to be a long time ago. Lance was obsessed with them. When we were chem partners he talked about them all the time. So why would he lie about the tattoo? Maybe he thought I'd forget. We should tell agent Fitzgerald about Lance. Okay, I'll stay and see what else I can find out about this book. Well, he never went back to the café and none of his teachers have seen him. So now Lance Bellini has disappeared too? Didn't you say he was being harassed by class mates? That's what he told us. He's probably just ducking scrutiny. Well, what about that creep I saw in the audience when Matt disappeared. The guy in the hat. He may be a member of a French political group, that's threatened the Senator in the past. We're investigating them now. We only have 36 hours to find Matt so have to follow the most solid lead we have. This group has a dangerous history. We can't take any chances. Without Lance what have we got? Just the crimson ring, whoever they are Let's see what Jasper's found out. Well, it would be great if we could talk to whoever wrote this but there's no name which I guess isn't a problem considering it was written about eighty years ago. Yes it was written eighty years ago but it wasn't donated until last year. It arrived right after the museum announced it was restoring all of Houdini's artifacts. No note, no letter nothing! But it ended up being a big help to the restoration team. Did you save the envelope it came in? Not the envelope. The wrapping paper? What? It's really pretty! Am I not allowed to have some feminine qualities? I knew I remembered the address. Bellington Hill, no name just an initial. E. W. Is it close? Right outside the district. Somehow, don't you know it's going to look just like this? I really hate being right all the time, okay most of the time, once in a while? Well its obvious nobody's home, we should probably just turn around and okay, okay, could be on a timer. What? You guys are aware this is trespassing right? Kidnapping trumps trespassing. Maggie's right, we can't just do nothing and wait for the FBI follow a single lead. We need to find Matt. Ring or knock. Well ringing is definitely the most polite way of calling on a neighbor but can sometimes be jarring, where as knocking expresses a more urgent need which this is but can sometimes be perceived as assaulting. Ringing it is. [shock sound] Ouch! Are you okay? Yeah, just a little jolt that's all. Geez, that's one way to discourage drop ins. Did I just do that? Hello? Mr. E. W. ? You know maybe we should try around the back. Oh it won't matter. Front or back, you die in a grizzly pit of spikes and your last pitiful thought is "why didn't I go the other way?" Then it will be my last pitiful thought. Hellooooo? Is anybody home? Mr. E. W. ? [heavy footsteps] Did somebody shut the door? Did somebody put a brick wall behind the door? J A S P E Are you kidding me? How does it know my name? I think it wants to talk to us Um, okay. What do we do? We ask a question, it answers. Whether we like it or not. Who is the crimson ring? Now you die! Oh geez! [screaming] Henry now you die! [evil laughter] Henry? Henry? Henry! What happened to him? He's not breathing. Henry, quit fooling around! There's no pulse! Jasper, there's no pulse! Okay, Henry, can you hear me? Henry wake up, wake up! Henry wake up! Wake up! Henry wake up! Wake up! Henry? Move aside. I'm a doctor. No wait! It's impossible! You did this! This is your fault. I meant only to frighten you, to scare you away. You jasper call the 911. . And ask for the police, I'm sure they'd be very interested in this. You were dead; I checked your vitals myself! You tricked me? You tricked me! The only way to stop you from scaring us was to scare you back. The cold sleep is no parlor trick. Where did you learn it? Incredible, I trick worthy of the great Houdini himself. Here you go, no pulp for Jasper. Maggie gets an ice cube and Griffin the Great takes his juice barbarian style. So, it was you at the Houdini exhibit. Magic and illusions have been a passion of mine for a long time. We noticed! Yes, I am sorry. My apologies for frightening you. What is your interest in the crimson ring. You tell us, you were a member. I was long ago. From the beginning they were the crimson orb, Society of magicians. Dedicated to sharing and perfecting they're talents but over time the group changed. More and more of the member used their skills to commit crimes, to amass wealth, influence. We think they may have taken one of our friends. Would they do something like that? If they still exist, oh yes! They have a long history of targeting the children of the rich and powerful. Make no mistake, they are extremely dangerous. Let Houdini's fate persuade you of that. Houdini? I thought he died of a ruptured appendix? His autopsy was inconclusive. Some say that he confronted the Crimson Ring and they poisoned him. Others say he escaped them by faking his own death and thus he pulled his greatest trick. But even Houdini needed help from time to time. In the event that he could not escape from one of his traps, Houdini always had a secondary escape route. And if you are up against the Crimson Ring, you will need one too. Here, take it. It may be useful to you sometime. The Crimson Ring never forgives and they never forget. You going to eat your [inaudible] kabob? How can you not be hungry? Especially after dying and everything. I lost my appetite. Look just because everyone was sucking up to you to get those tickets doesn't mean they don't like you. I'm really glad I don't have to worry about you two having an agenda. What's with that key thing anyways? No idea, E. W. didn't say. He just said that even Houdini had a back up plan. [knocking, urgent knocking] My dad back already? [loud knocking] Hey guys, let me in please! That's Lance. Oh hi. Lock it! Won't make any difference but lock it anyway. Wha, why? Can I see your dad? No, he's at his fraternity reunion trip, pretending to catch fish. I don't know where else to go, my own parents don't believe me. Is this about Matt? Of course it is, what else could it be about? Hey calm down. I'm sorry Maggie, I'm sorry. As you can see I'm kind of having a bad night. Lance what happened? Where's Matt? I don't know. They played me, they tricked me like a five year old kid at a birthday party. Who tricked you? Them! The Crimson Ring. Okay, I'm calling the police. Oh come on, where is it? Where is it? Henry, how many times have I told you to put back the cordless phone! Oh ah, I think I left it underneath the sofa or maybe it's in the laundry room. It just kept ringing and ringing. That's it's job! Found it! [smash] [screaming] [struggle] [struggle] [struggle] Lance! Lance! I know, I know. Yes, yeah dad everything is totally fine. Yeah, yeah Colonel [inaudible] invited us to stay the night at his house, well he kind of ordered us. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Yeah, yes [whispers]: yes, I love you too dad, bye! Okay, he'll be on the first flow plane leaving the lake. Good! I'm not sure what you kids have gotten yourselves into but it's in everybody's best interest that we get you out. I saw a tattoo, and it was definitely the Crimson Ring. Do you believe us? I don't disbelieve you but I have to consider that all this is being driven by Lance Bellini. So you think he was faking it? What, the break in was staged? From the Intel I have he wants to be the greatest magician who ever lived and who knows what he would pull off a big trick. Look I'll get somebody to check out the Crimson Orb but my focus remains on finding Matt Palmer and for the record I apologize for calling you kids. Clearly your well past the kid phase. I don't buy that Lance was pulling a trick. Me either, no one can fake that kind of fear. Well if he was faking it, he's mastered the illusion of wetting his pants. But somebody did trick us last night. What's the key to illusion? Get your audience to look at one thing while you're doing something else. That's why those guys attacked us. While we were fighting them They were taking Lance. Classic misdirect. They got Lance by distracting us, maybe that's how they got Matt. On the day of the trick maybe we weren't looking in the right place. I don't follow. Well remember what E. W. said, Houdini always had a second way out. But the only other way Matt could have gone was through the bottom of the box and under the stage. And we were all standing there; there was no other trap door. Well maybe we missed it because we weren't looking for it. Sounds like you also miss the part where the FBI agent told us to but out of this whole thing? And she also said that the whole entire theater has been picked apart be their forensics team. Then they won't mind us taking a peak. How do we even know we can trust what this E. W. guy says. Well for one thing he hasn't tried to kill us. Maybe that's all part of an elaborate trap. I couldn't help but over hear you're conversation, I hope I'm not intruding but based solely on a few comments you made, I've been able to crunch some numbers and statistically speaking, whoever this person is you have a 74% chance you can trust him. Hang on a second. Look, I know why you're being so nice to me. It's because you want those concert tickets so let's just cut to the chase, okay? Okay, but I have no idea what we're talking about. Come on, the tickets for U2 What? Come on Henry, there's a giant pit of spikes with our name on it. Thank you! For what? For restoring my faith in Smithson High and anytime you want to go on that free drive, I'm in! I still don't know what we're talking about. None of this makes any sense, I don't understand. Really, Sherlock? The box was right here. There's no trap door, where could he have gone? Hey, maybe he actually Actually vanished? Come on Jasper! Hey, check that out. There's always a logical explanation. Well then lets here it. Well I don't know it yet! Maybe Henry has an idea. Okay then Wait, Henry? Henry! Henry! Henry, where are you? Henry, did you find something? Henryyyyy! Henry! Okay, this is awesome. Now Henrys vanished too. [gasp] Holy, hole in the floor. [door shutting in background] Oh, man, no wonder we missed it. The trap door is harder to find than my dads petty cash stash. Obviously Henry found it. Oh yeah, how can you be sure? Because he dropped his tickets. Oh, give me those! Why? Possession is nine tenths of the law. You see that? Don't try to change the subject. You mean change the subject to finding your missing cousin? Oh, you're good! This isn't over! There's a light up ahead. Lance! I'm sorry! I swear I didn't know Matt was going to get kidnapped. Matt, Matt are you okay? Who did this. I don't know, I didn't see his face. It's because they never show them. Who? The Crimson Orb? The Crimson Ring, nobody calls it the Crimson Orb. Except E. W. And Agent Fitzgerald! I'll get somebody to check out the Crimson Orb. Why would she use the original name when she'd never heard of them? This is what we call the penny drop. Lance kidnapped Matt but you exposed him and the grandiose poser he is, he lost all control which in our business always results in tragedy so he killed Matt but before taking his own miserable frustrated life [coughs] he decided to have a little bit of fun. No! Where's Henry? We don't know. We heard a struggle and somebody being dragged out. Okay you guys call for help. Call the Senator But not the FBI Where are you going? To help Henry. Here you might be able to use this. Thanks. Yeah. Ironically, no one ever finds the ransom money which, of course I advised the Senator to pay and in the end I walk away free and rich. Enjoy your time in the maiden. So long Griffin the Great. [grunts] Get me out of here! You're never going to get away with it. Wait, do you hear that? Help, help, can anyone hear me? Henry? Henry, where are you? Help, HELP! That's him, that's Henry's voice. Wait, wait, wait. What's on the other side of this wall? Henry! Henry are you in here? Henry! It's the Iron Maiden, there's no time! We have to get him out of there! No, no, no don't touch it. It's to dangerous. Behind you! You guys are like cockroaches! Go, I'll be okay! Here take it, it might be useful to you sometime. Houdini always had a secondary escape route. [coughs] There, there! [yelp] No, don't, don't, don't. . Go go go! [grunt] [struggle] Nice trick huh! [struggle] Looking for you gun? I just want to thank you all personally. Not only did you save my son but you helped expose a criminal organization. Kidnapping, grand theft, attempted ***, extortion. Ah will you excuse me for a second? E. W. thanks for helping me out. How did you know this would work? It's a punch key. Same kind as the orb used. You know Henry, I could help you even more Help me? How? I know you've traveled the world and you've seen many wonders but Henry there is a whole world of wonders that no one gets to see. Unless they are invited, it is open only to a select few who possess unique gifts like courage and the ability to cheat death. Like Houdini. That why people loved him. He gave them hope. Hope? For what? When their time came, they too might be able to cheat death. That's what gave him power. You too can have that power Henry and if you have it there's no limit to what you can gain. It's tempting but I have everything I need. Well young man, until we meet again keep playing tricks. Oh, was that? E. W. E. W. ? That's strange Houdini's real name was Erik Wiess. Thanks again for everything guys. Yes, if there is anything we can do for you Well Actually, there is. U2 tickets? You should go together. Ha, no Henry, I can't! Henry, he's right you can't. . Now. Thanks Henry. We both will thanks. Come on guys, you know how I felt about those tickets. We're better off without them. And besides how could I have possibly chosen between you two? You know what? Next time just give the tickets to me and Maggie.