Niemals Fern - Never gone - Psychodrama shortfilm

Hi Raphael? I can't believe it... Come here... It feels like it's been ages. 16 years. Is this not the right time? No, no, nonsense! Just come on in. I take the bags. You can put the bags on the table. Huh? Ohh, ok. Want something to drink? No, thanks. Please, have a seat. I hope this doesn't bother you. I have to put some things into the fridge. Well... ...what brings you here? I mean, no, well... ...how are you? Fine, thanks. I was just in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop by. Can I help you? No, no, that's alright. So, how did you find me? I visited Alex at the department. And then I saw your name on the door and inquired your address of him. That bum never mentioned it. Oh no, it was a quick visit, just this morning. I'm in Cologne only since yesterday evening. But you still work there? There was a job opening, couple of years ago. And Mathilda? Oh, I totally fell out with her. Seriously?! But you know what? Now, there's her. And everything is... ...well, perfect. Where's the restroom? Uhm, on the right. Be right back. You're not feeling well? Nah, I've just got an upset stomach. Oh. That's alright. How long will you be staying in Cologne? Just until tonight, why? It's okay, uhm... You know, my girlfriend... What's her name actually? Mara. Mara,... ...mmh, beautiful name. Yeah, well, Mara is coming to dinner... ...and I, I have prepared a little surprise, you know... We could eat together! This way I also could get to know her. Well, normally this shouldn't be a problem, I... What? We haven't seen each other for such a long time... There's so much left to tell, don't you think? Sure,... ...of course, of course... It's just that it's not that simple to deal with... ...an old friend and a proposal at the same time. Show me! You understand? You can pop the question at any time. I'm only here today. You know, it's not as simple as that. No, it's very simple: Call her, call off the date! Listen, you come here after 16 years and now you want me to just drop everything? That's the least you could do. Well, a minute ago I was happy to see you... Really? She made this, right? Why? Because it's terrible and otherwise you would never hang something like this up. And you really believe that you still know me? I just have to watch you, you housewife. What do you want from me? Maybe I had to see for myself what a girl you've become. Can't you do that outside? Fine. Time to celebrate, where's the beer? I don't drink alcohol anymore. Ha! Are you trying to *** me? God, what happened to you? That's what I'm asking you: What happened to YOU? Me? I had to burn some bridges. And now I don't have any left to burn. I'm done. Ok, and how can I help you? I don't need help. I don't want anything. And that's the worst part: When the wanting gets lost. Suffering is one thing, not having anything... ...the other, but when you just don't care anymore? Ok, well, if you need a shoulder to cry on, you can gladly come by tomorrow. Are you that stupid or are you just acting that way? I'm only here today, we talk NOW! But NOW won't work! Tomorrow or never. Your ego trip won't get you far with me. Don't you understand, that my girlfriend is a little more important to me... ...than just anybody that comes here after 16 years and tells me the dos and don'ts?? Go now! You won't get away this time! Haha, ok, yeah, what do you want to do? Want to lock me in, huh? Are you *** mad?? I... Ok, enough already! Na, na, na... Stop it... Don't make such a fuss, you ***! Feel free! Did you do that? No. You lookin' for this? He, careful, careful. You don't want to threaten an old friend, do you? Make yourself useful, cook something! Here's my suggestion to you: I'll cook something for us. Sit down over there and rest yourself. And after that... ...we talk about good ol' times, ok? One more time: ...you came here to...to throw at me that you turned into... ...such a loser, because I just up and left, or what? If you say it like this, it doesn't sound so nice. But I let you get away with it. Because I...because I chose another path back then? That's absurd! No, that's very simple: Until that moment I was... ...doing very well and after that: Not anymore. But I can't take responsibility for YOUR life! Is it money? You need money? We can go to the ATM right now! No problem. I'm not interested in money! 16 years... ...why now? What did you do for 16 years? You were my best friend. Now I understand. You were in love with me... ...ha, you're a ***, right? You're a fruit. You really don't understand anything. Look, unrequited love is not uncommon, right? A lot of... You better look out that I don't cut out your... ...tongue, you with your kitchen sink psychology! Why, because I tell the truth? No, because I can't stand your *** babble anymore. You're spoiling the whole moment for me. What moment? You really thought I didn't know that Mara will come here today? Come, here, here is your present! It was your birthday the day before yesterday, wasn't it? Come here, get your present! Come, come, BIRTHDAY PRESENT! Come... Come on, plug it in! Let me hold the camera, too, please give it to me... You're such a sick *** ***! Give it to me... There was a time, when we both were equally sick. Tell me, for how long have you been taking those pills? You really think THAT is the solution? I've really tried it. I thought, I have to let you go. I thought, I don't have the right. But that's against my nature. 16 years I acted against my nature. But that doesn't work. I can't do it, YOU can't do it. Please... Come on, get up! Knock off the whining! It's UNBEARABLE! Please... Look at yourself: You're 41, is this YOUR life? You are not having any FUN!! You little sissy, mummy's darling, you nothing,... ...you ***, you fruitcake, you ***... ...you little piece of miserable ***! You victim! Yeah, you're a fall guy! You're just a national whipping boy! Look, here, here... ...here is where I lay her down. Then I neatly slice her throat... Wait, until she bled out completely... I run my fingers through her sticky hair... Kiss her still warm forehead... And then I look at her, with my full attention for the first time... And then I sniff her, take in her aroma... A mass of people always stinks, but she alone, she smells sweet... She is sweet with promise, with aspiration! You're are not here, this is not... Of course I'm here! I was never gone, I was always with you, the whole time I was with you! I can see that this makes you ***! Is THIS what you want?? Stop... What? Let me go, please!! I don't understand one word! Is this better?? What? Is THIS what you want??? I don't understand anything! Still nothing... Please... Yes, here I lay her down... Wait, until she bled out completely... I run my fingers through her sticky hair... Kiss her still warm forehead... And then I look at her, with my full attention for the first time... And then I sniff her, take in her aroma... A mass of people always stinks, but she alone, she smells sweet... She is sweet with promise, with aspiration, with salvation!