Auto - Tune the news #3 [with lyrics!!] - Cuba. afghan friendship. 2 - Party woes.

EH: I think this is an ignoramus statement Umm, I was even a person who thought You know what, power to Joe the Plumber at that point SG: Before he went around laying his pipe all over town EH: Well, Joe the Plumber is not invited Anywhere around me EG: Does baby need a tissue? Thinking about the time the plumber kissed you Before you caught him creeping with the Shih Tzu RM: As republicans, the party does seem to be in chaos RP: They need to change their attitude, attitude Their attitude, attitude MG: Ay, tells us what your homeys can do To make a change RP: You know, they talk about personal freedoms They have to believe in it, you know MG/RM: We know! RP: To believe in it, you know MG/RM: We know! RP: To believe in it, you know MG/RM: We know, we know, we know you just got to believe RP: To believe in it, you know MG/RM: We know! RP: To believe in it, you know MG/RM: We know! RP: To belieeeeeeeeeve! Lieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve! MG: You saying Republicans on crack Are you cozy with the Democrats? RP: I just don't think that either party Right now offers a whole lot MG: You'll see some real change From the 3rd party at my house Poppin champagne, bacardi; gettin crunked out Triple rhymin with Joe Biden While we Imbibin Hennessy Come on over--drinks on me, homey HK: We'll be friends with you AZ: And BFF with you Main Damies with you HK: And colleagues with you AZ: I'll be in your crew HK: I'll be in yours, too AZ: Jumpin rope with you HK: Playin Donkey Kong with you AZ: Hatchin plans with you HK/AZ: invade Tajikistan with you HC: We do not believe either Afghanistan or Pakistan Can achieve lasting progress Without the full participation of all of your citizens Including women and girls AZ: Having a barbecue HK: Grilling a goat with you AZ: Grilling terrorists, too HK: Getting matching tattoos HC: The rights of women must be respected and protected AZ: Picking flowers with you HK: Hot showers with you AZ: Falling in love with you HK: Nude at the zoo AZ/HK: Making memories at the pottery wheel, rubbing clay on you all afternoon KC: It would be one of the most dramatic Foreign policy about faces ever AG: To what do you refer, shawtayee? KC: A bipartisan bill in Congress would end The 47-year-old trade freeze with Cuba AG: Ojalá congreso le gusta esta KC: It has only spotty support so far But President Obama's already taken some baby steps Letting Cuban Americans visit family members And send them money But for most of us it's still a place that is Strictly off limits AG: Not for this G I just went there illegally Speaking of which, will you buy drugs from me On national TV? Don't fret--the people think I'm joking But guess what (what?)? I've never joked in my life; ooh-wee, shawtayee KC: The trade embargo made sense a half century ago AG: That's 50 years KC: During the Cold War Fidel Castro took sides with the enemy But the Soviet Union is long gone AG: Disbanded: KC/AG: Long gooooone! SG: *** Cheney. Rush Limbaugh or Colin Powell. Who's your damie? DC: Well, if I had to choose, uh In terms of being a Republican I'd go with Rush Limbaugh My take on it was Colin had already left the party SG: I don't think that actually happened [awkward silence] This is an awkward silence; I guess I'll fill it with ad libs Woah-oh-oh-oh! Shawty! Yeah EG: Whoo! Aaaah KC: Now it's up to Fidel and Raúl Castro AG: Esos Castros locos. Cuidado KC: President Obama says he wants to see Democratic reforms Particularly on human rights and free speech So Congress will be looking for signs of change After almost 50 years AG: Ay, that's half a century KC: U.S. policy will not reverse overnight Relations remain chilly But for the 1st time in generations A thaw is possible AG: A thaw, but what sort of thaw? What exactly is thawing? KC: Very, very, very, very AG/KC: Very thin ice, very thin ice, very thin ice