Live And Let Die

(JAMES BOND THEME PLAYING) (SPEAKING IN HUNGARIAN) ...was so ably pointed out by the Secretary-General in his opening remarks. But, and I must emphasize this point, no formula can or will ever cover each case. For instance... ...when three or more applicants have been recognized, which is in direct contradiction to... (HIGH-PITCHED FREQUENCY) (SLOW-PACED DIXIELAND JAZZ PLAYING) Whose funeral is it? Yours. (MUSIC TEMPO QUICKENS) (DRUMS BEATING) (CHANTING) (LIVE AND LET DIE PLAYING) ♪ When you were young ♪ And your heart was an open book ♪ You used to say live and let live ♪ You know you did, you know you did You know you did ♪ But if this ever-changing world in which we live in ♪ Makes you give in and cry ♪ Say live and let die ♪ Live and let die ♪ Live and let die ♪ Live and let die ♪ What does it matter to ya? ♪ When you got a job to do, you got to do it well ♪ You got to give the other fellow hell ♪ You used to say live and let live ♪ You know you did, you know you did You know you did ♪ But if this ever-changing world in which we live in ♪ Makes you give in and cry ♪ Say live and let die ♪ Live and let die ♪ Live and let die ♪ Live and let die ♪ (DOORBELL BUZZING) (BUZZING CONTINUES) One more time again? (SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) (DOORBELL BUZZING) (KNOCK ON DOOR) Not married by any chance, are you? Good morning, 007. Good morning. Insomnia, sir? Instructions. You haven't much time. I'll explain as you pack. Pack, sir? Three of our agents have been killed during the last 24 hours. Dawes in New York. Hamilton in New Orleans. And Baines in the Caribbean. Baines, I rather liked Baines. We shared the same bootmaker. Coffee, sir? I take it these killings are connected. That's precisely what you're going to find out. Baines was working on a small island in the Caribbean called San Monique. Dawes was in New York keeping an eye on its prime minister, one Dr. Kananga. Hamilton was on loan to the Americans in New Orleans. Is that all it does? By the way, congratulations seem to be in order. The Italians were most impressed by the way you handled the Rome affair. Thank you, sir. Sugar? Thanks. Well, the authorities were more than helpful. There's one small complaint. They seem to be missing one of their agents, a Miss Caruso. You wouldn't happen to know where she is? Miss Moneypenny. Morning, Moneypenny. Certainly the hour that's indecent. Really? I've got your ticket to New York. Q has repaired your wristwatch. And some background material on San Monique. Thank you, Moneypenny. I'm sure the overburdened British taxpayer will be fascinated to know how the Special Ordnance Section disburses its funds. In future, Commander, allow me to suggest a perfectly adequate watchmaker, just down the street. Good God. You see, by pulling out this button, sir, it turns the watch into a hyper-intensified magnetic field. Powerful enough to even deflect the path of a bullet at long range, or so Q claims. I feel very tempted to test that theory right now. If you don't mind, Commander, my spoon. Oh, sorry, sir. Thank you. Dr. Kananga is, at present, in New York. The CIA have been informed, and they're helping out with the surveillance. Your flight arrives at 11:30 a.m. Now, where did I leave my coat? Oh, allow me. Thank you. Come along, Miss Moneypenny. Sir. Miss Moneypenny, thank you. Goodbye, James. Or should I say ciao, bello. (SPEAKING IN ITALIAN) MISS CARUSO: Such a delicate touch. Sheer magnetism, darling. A man comes. He travels quickly. He has purpose. He comes over water. He travels with others. He will oppose. He brings violence and destruction. (TELEPHONE BUZZES) Hello. Mr. Leiter for you, sir. Thank you. Hello, Felix. How are you? Traffic permitting, I should be with you in about half an hour. Then you can buy me the best lunch in New York. Fine, James. Your friend Kananga has just left the UN. He's probably headed back to his embassy. No, no, don't worry. I've got the place eyeballed, wired for sound, the works. Right. I'll see you in about a half hour. Easy, Charlie. Let's get there in one piece. Charlie? Right. Stand by. Here comes Kananga's limousine. Out he gets with the usual goon squad and the girl. Time, 11:46. What is that? Hello, Felix? You know how I hate to trouble you, but I've run into a little bother. You what? Get me a make on a white pimpmobile. 347 Nelson-David-George. It would seem, Dr. Kananga, that the conference has not lived up to your prior expectations. Well, we can only hope that this is a temporary setback. However, I do have some observations to make. Take a letter, please. To Secretary-General, Pan Island Unity Conference. Sir. I wish to point out that... KANANGA ON TAPE: ...too many of our island neighbors have once again let themselves be bullied by United States industry. The story is an old one, the record a clear one. Since my historic statement of principles was delivered and acted upon some six months ago, our economic outlook has improved dramatically. By exercising our policy of friendship to all with favoritism towards none, new respect for the entire area has been engendered. And even though some of my most important... James, that car is registered to a shop at 33, East 65th Street. That's only a block away from here. Right. Take your time, buddy. Kananga's knitting a flag in there. It might be the easiest thing to do. (BELL RINGS) Something in heads? Just browsing. Thank you. (BELL RINGS) $5. Do you think you could gift-wrap it for me, please? Lengthwise, if you don't mind. Thank you. KANANGA ON TAPE: ...remains my first concern. Thus, San Monique's future obligations vis-a-vis her island neighbors would seem clear. Those who fawn and crawl in the face of intimidation must perforce to look up to those who stand proudly wrapped in a justifiable self-confidence. The time has come, painful as it may be, to gaze out among our sister nations in the area and see if any stands tall... (LIFT WHOOSHING) He's tailing. I got him in my sights. Hey, you know where you going, man? Uptown, I believe. Uptown? You headed into Harlem, man. Well, you just keep on the tail of that jukebox and there's an extra 20 in it for you. Hey, man, for 20 bucks I'll take you to a Ku Klux *** cookout. 125th, you got a *** on your tail. He's heading east. Can't miss him. It's like following a cue ball. BOND: That's the car. They must have gone inside. Pull up where you can. Sure hope you make friends easy. Right on, brother. He's heading on in. (PEOPLE CHATTERING) (CHATTERING STOPS) Good afternoon. Bourbon and water, please. First booth will do. Huh? That's extra, man. I'd like something on the side as well, information. Three men and a girl came in. Relax, baby. Mr. Big's gonna take care of you in a minute. Black queen on the red king, Miss... Solitaire. My name's Bond. James Bond. I know who you are, what you are and why you've come. You have made a mistake. You will not succeed. Rather a sweeping statement, considering we've never met. The cards have followed you for me. MAN: Now, you get ripped off in Detroit, baby, you yell out to me, you hear? Is he armed? You can't be too careful in New York City these days. (CHUCKLING) Funny how the least little thing amuses him. Oh, fascinating. Well, that's you, quite obviously. An amazing resemblance. Tell me, am I in there as well? Pick a card. Turn it over. You have found yourself. I'm telling you, you all go out there to LA and clean it up, or I'm coming out there and clean you up, and I mean that! Is this the stupid mother that tailed you uptown? There seems to be some mistake. My name is... Names is for tombstones, baby. You all take this *** out and waste him, now. The reading is over. Nothing about my future? Us? Now, promise you'll stay right there. I shan't be long. Thank you. Keep your hands up, ***. What does he think this is? I'll blow his frigging head off, man. Drop it! Now. "Harold Strutter, CIA." Where were you when I didn't need you? Kind of obvious you weren't coming out front, not even with that clever disguise you're wearing. Whiteface in Harlem. Good thinking, Bond. Let's get out of here. I'm surprised they didn't spot you, too. There's a most remarkable girl back there with a deck of cards. I saw those cards on the way up. Spades, James, every one. You were nailed the minute you left 74th. There's only supposed to be one man who can pull together that much black muscle in this town. Calls himself Mr. Big. You name the business, they say he has a black concession. What would a foreign prime minister like Kananga want with an American gangster? The question is, what would Mr. Big want with a two-bit island diplomat? FELIX ON RADIO: Mr. Big? Where the hell does he fit into this mess? A genuine Felix lighter. Illuminating. Now, listen, James, we just found out that Kananga's got a private plane and he's leaving for San Monique within the hour. Then get me on the next available flight, will you, Felix? I already did. I just knew you wouldn't pass up a chance to get away from where the real action is. (LAUGHING) The legendary Baron Samedi, folks. That's Saturday, for those of you who speak French. Voodoo god of cemeteries and chief of the legion of the dead. The man who cannot die. But for our purposes, just a performer in a little musical extravaganza we've cooked up for you wonderful people. Good evening. The name is Bond. You have a reservation for me. Yes, Mr. Bond, of course. Mrs. Bond has been expecting you. Mrs. Bond? She arrived earlier this afternoon, sir. Said she preferred something a little more private. Bungalow 12. An incurable romantic, Mrs. Bond. (LAUGHS) (ALL CLAPPING) Room service, please. Room service? This is Mr. Bond, bungalow 12. I'd like a bottle of Bollinger, please. Slightly chilled. Two glasses. Thank you. (TAP RUNNING) Anybody home? Your champagne, sir. Your champagne. Put it on the table. Thanks. What? Shall I open it? No. I can manage. Thank you. Thank you. Mrs. Bond, I presume? I'm Rosie Carver. I guess I have a little explaining to do. Yes. Either you or dear Uncle Felix. Custom .38 Smith & Wesson. Corrugated 3-inch stock. No serial number. Standard CIA issue. Question is, why point it at me? The man who delivered your champagne is not a hotel waiter. I was just trying to be careful. As for Felix Leiter, you're right. I've worked for CIA down here for some time now, and he cabled me you were coming and asked if I wouldn't help out, if I could. Perhaps you'd better start by getting your head together. Yes. You're only my second mission, you know. My first was Baines, the agent who was killed. It's a relief to know I'm next in line for the same kind of aid. (ROSIE SCREAMING) There's a... A snake. I forgot. I should've told you. You should never go in there without a mongoose. I should have never gotten into any of this. I'm going to be completely useless to you. I'm sure we'll be able to lick you into shape. It's getting late, Mrs. Bond. Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day for us. You see, Kananga is protecting something down here, something which Baines obviously discovered. You're going to show me the spot where Baines' body was found. That, I'm afraid, only leaves us tonight to, well, catch up on old times. Felix told me there'd be moments like this. What did good old Felix suggest? If all else failed, cyanide pills. I settled for two bedrooms. Good night, Mr. Bond. Mrs. Bond. (SCREAMS) Why, it's just a hat, darling, belonging to a small-headed man of limited means who lost a fight with a chicken. It's a warning. Get it out of here! Please. Please don't leave me alone tonight. James, please promise me. All right, darling, if you insist. I promise. I thank you. Rosie! Breakfast's up! What? I have to see about organizing a car. I'll see you in the lobby. MAN 1: Over here, sir. Over here. Guaranteed big fish. MAN 2: Hey, baby. Over here. Bring your man over here. Just $20. Half a day. You got warm lady. We got cold beer over here, man. You wanna catch a big fish, sir? It's only 2 pounds over here. Good morning. Come on, Rosie. This one seems eager enough. Excuse me. Where can I change? Me. Clothes off. Where? Stop right there. Turn around slowly. Keep your hands up! As I was saying, Quarrel, a lousy agent. But the compensations speak for themselves. Rosie Carver, meet the man who shares my hairbrush, Quarrel Junior. I'm really sorry. I could've shot you. You might have even killed me if you'd taken off the safety catch. Never mind, darling. You just let us know when we get to the spot where Baines was killed. It's up in the hills just after we clear the next cove. Hey, Quarrel, who the hell lives up there? That's the house of the Kananga woman. She's supposed to have the power of the obeah. No one on the island dare go up there except him. He comes again. There will be violence. He approaches even now. By land or water? Water. He has arrived. Good. Rosie's been more efficient than I anticipated. I know a place where we can rustle up a car. Beautiful, brave and now resourceful. Rosie, you seem to be staging a remarkable comeback. Tell me about the future. Is it death? I said, is it death? It is death. They're coming. Rosie knows what to do. Now, I want no bodies this time, no trace. It's down there. But I thought you said Baines was killed up in the hills, darling. Up in the hills down there. Why don't we have a bite of lunch and discuss it? There's an excellent patty in the hamper. I'm in no hurry. Are you? No. James, you don't know what finding you has meant to me. Oh, I can imagine. And you've no idea what finding this has meant to me. You do know what the Queen of Cups means in an upside-down position? A deceitful, perverse woman, a liar, a cheat. And I'd like some answers now. Please. You don't understand, see. They'll kill me if I do. And I'll kill you if you don't. But you couldn't. You wouldn't. Not after what we've just done. I certainly wouldn't have killed you before. (EXCLAIMS) It used to be a convincing act, Rosie. It's wearing a little thin now. It's not an act. It's... Make your choice. Rosie. Rosie. You will explain what went wrong. I see the intervention of a woman. The girl was about to confess. We had to kill her. The trap was set. Tee Hee was waiting. And you saw death. It must have been the girl's death. If you do not ask specific questions I cannot be responsible for your misinterpretation of the answers. These growing signs of impertinence begin to disturb me, Solitaire. Even as they did with your mother before you. She had the power and lost it, became useless to me. You will not make the same mistake. Solitaire. Where is Bond now? Where is Bond now? I cannot see when you are this way with me. Things become unclear. Let us hope these momentary lapses do not become a habit. Your power exists to serve me, and it is mine to control. If and when the time comes I decide you are to lose it, I myself will take it away. Solitaire, go to sleep. You have made me angry with you, and I have no wish to be. Tee Hee. Put down those cards. It is a blasphemy. They tell nothing to those who cannot see. But they do. That's a bit of luck. Good luck for both of us. The cards say we will be lovers. You're mistaken. It's impossible, forbidden for me. Now you must go. But you do believe, I mean really believe, in the cards. They have never lied to me. Then they won't now. Pick one. You knew the answer before it was given. Strangely enough, somehow so did I. So it's finally happened. Just as it did to my mother and her mother before her. Well, of course it did. Well, you're visual proof of that, aren't you? Come on. Cheer up, darling. Has to be a first time for everyone. Now, tell me, where's Kananga? I cannot see. No. There's no need to be frightened. You'll soon be rid of him, I promise. I promise. I just need a little bit of information, that's all. The power, I've lost it. The high priestess is wife to the prince, no longer of this world. The spiritual bridge to the secret church. It's my fate. By compelling me to earthly love, the cards themselves have taken away my powers. Darling, I have a small confession to make. Now, try not to be too upset. The deck was slightly stacked in my favor. It makes no difference. The physical violation cannot be undone. When he finds out I've lost my power, he'll kill me. Now, come on. He'll have to find you first. Lovers' lesson number one, we have no secrets. For example, I have a boat waiting. You can be on it. All I have to know before we leave is what goes on back there in Voodooland. Darling, three men and a girl have been killed in the last four days, not counting the number of times they've tried to stop me from discovering whatever Kananga's protecting. Now, do you want to be on that boat or not? I simply read the cards for him. I've never been there, and he's never taken me there. I've never dared to go, but I've looked in the cards. I've seen great riches there. They'll kill you. Us, darling. They will kill us. Lovers' lesson number two, togetherness till death do us part, or thereabouts. Is there time before we leave for lesson number three? Absolutely. There's no sense in going off half-cocked. This way. How can you be so sure? Well, these scarecrows are to scare people away. You're not scared, are you? Lesson number four, follow the scarecrows. (FLUTE PLAYING) Good morning. It's sure gonna be a beautiful day. Yes, sir, a beautiful day. They're heading for the hill. They're here. If he finds it, kill him. Quick! We've lost him. He has the girl. They're somewhere under the nets. At any cost, any. Bond must die. Unit two-five, we have picked them up. MAN ON RADIO: Base to two-five. Arrest Bond. But, I repeat, the girl is not to be touched. Message received and understood. Over and out. MAN ON RADIO: Base to all units. I repeat, the girl is not to be touched. (PEOPLE CHATTERING) Sweet mother of pearl. All change. End of the line. Get down below quickly. Here. I'll do that. You get us started. MAN: It appears a bust. James. He'll be looking for me now. I know he'll never stop. Come on, darling. It's all over. Voodooland was just poppy fields. A simple matter of *** smuggling. I'll have a word or two with a man named Felix and turn the entire case over to him. And you and I will be off. By the way, where would you like to go? Anywhere where we can find one of these. How quickly can we make it to New Orleans? Santa Mina, four hours away. You can catch a flight and be there in the morning. Then get in touch with Felix on the scrambler. Tell him to meet me there tomorrow. Royal Orleans Hotel. Tampa is closer. Hamilton was killed in New Orleans, so there has to be a connection. And this is a valuable piece of merchandise we are carrying, which with any luck, they'll want back. BOND: Royal Orleans Hotel, please. Are you sure this is the way to New Orleans? I don't know, but it sure beats the hell out of Harlem, don't it? Well, hello, Jim. What's happening, baby? Just ease back now, Jim. Relax. Mr. Big wants to see you. You made a mistake back on that island, Bond. You took something that didn't belong to you, and you took it from a friend of Mr. Big's. That type of mistake is tough to bounce back from. But I've only just arrived. Today is your lucky day, Jim. You're going skydiving. There's a hell of a view of the lake from 10,000 feet. My only regret is I won't be there to see it. (MEN SHOUTING) Good morning. You're... Mrs. Bell. You're not my instructor. Where's Mr. Bleeker? Indisposed. I'll be giving the lesson. Come on, come on! What's on for today? Well, let's just wing it, shall we, Mrs. Bell? You're over-revving. MAN 1: Leroy, slow down! For Pete's sake, slow down! LEROY: I can't find the brake! MAN: Close those doors! Holy ***. Look out! Look out! Okay, Don. Don't worry. I'll take care of it. Right. Talk to you later. I gotta go and give a lesson. Same time tomorrow, Mrs. Bell? Yes, Mr. Bleeker. Yes, sir. Well, I know you just can't glue the wings back on. Now, Mr. Bleeker, I'm sure there's no reason for name-calling. No, that's fine. Right, sir. Don't forget the double vents. FELIX: I appreciate she may be one of your best pupils, yes. That'll do nicely. That's a little frantic. I'll keep the other three. Mr. Bleeker, any suggestion of that kind should be forwarded in writing to Washington. How is Mrs. Bell? Intensive care. But she'll pull through. Yes, sir. Oh, no, sir, no one's questioning your patriotism. I'm sure you're a veteran, sir. Felix, you might find out if there's a Fillet of Soul restaurant in town. James, we're way ahead of you. It's on Docker Street. Strutter's watching it now. (SLOW-PACED DIXIELAND JAZZ PLAYING) (ALL CHEERING) (MUSIC TEMPO QUICKENS) Hell of a send-off. This way. Where's Strutter? He's gotta be inside somewhere. Two, gentlemen? I got a nice booth over here just against the wall. Do you think you could find something a little closer to the stage? What's wrong with a booth? I once had a nasty turn in a booth. Bourbon. No ice, please. Two Sazeracs. Where's your sense of adventure, James? This is New Orleans. Relax. ♪ When you were young ♪ And your heart was an open book ♪ You used to say live and let live Yeah. Right here. Telephone call for you. Guy called Strutter. Thanks. For a minute there, I thought Harry was laying down on the job. ♪ Say live and let die ♪ Say live and let die ♪ Say live and let die ♪ What does it matter to ya? ♪ When you got a job to do, you got to do it well ♪ You got to give the other fellow hell ♪ What happened to my... What happened to your friend? Listen... Thanks for dropping in, baby. Yeah, you one tough pig to nail down. You've been picking at me like some kind of maggot. First, you go up to Harlem and kill one of the brothers. That disturbed me. Well, then you go and steal this valuable young lady from my good friend, Dr. Kananga. Now, old Kananga, he believes in all that card crap. I mean, he's mad. Well, possession being nine points of the law, I would say Kananga is your problem now. Thank you. In fact, if I were you, I'd watch my step from now on. Yeah, well, you just let me handle our business with the man. I've got my own plans for you, baby. But first, there's one little question that he wants answers for. In that case, you'd better ship me back to the island and let him ask in person. I'm not in the habit of giving answers to lackeys. You damn lucky you got a ear left to hear the question with. Which is, did you mess with that? That's between Solitaire and myself and Kananga. I'll tell him when I see him. You ain't gonna see the sunlight unless you answer me! I had no idea you were so frightened of him. Did you touch her? When I see Kananga. Right. Quite revealing. Kananga, poppy grower in thousands of acres of well-camouflaged fields protected by the voodoo threat of Baron Samedi. And as Mr. Big, distributor and wholesaler through a chain of Fillet of Soul restaurants. Wholesale? Sell *** for money? My apologies. I'm sure you simply give it away. Excellent, Mr. Bond. That's precisely what I intend to do. Two tons of it to be exact. When entering into a fiercely competitive field, one finds it advisable to give away free samples. Man or woman, black or white. I don't discriminate. Two tons of *** with a street value well over a billion dollars, nationally distributed free? That should make a certain group of families rather angry, wouldn't you say? Angry? Why, my dear Mr. Bond, it'll positively drive them out of their minds and, subsequently, out of the business. Quite ingenious. A sort of junkie's welfare system. Well, merely until the number of addicts in the country has doubled, shall we say. Then I will begin to market that acreage that you blundered into the other day. That *** will be very expensive indeed, leaving myself and the phone company the only two going monopolies in this nation for years to come. And here I thought it was Solitaire did the fortunetelling. Let's hope for both of your sakes she still can. The question still stands, Mr. Bond, asked by the gentleman concerned. Did you touch her? BOND: Why, it's not the sort of question a gentleman answers. Well, having set the example, I don't expect Miss Solitaire to be any less the lady. By the way, that's a particularly handsome watch you're wearing, Mr. Bond. May I see it, please? You'll forgive me if I don't get up. Butterhook. Tee Hee, on the first wrong answer from Miss Solitaire, you will snip the little finger of Mr. Bond's right hand. Starting with the second wrong answer, you'll proceed to the more vital areas. Solitaire, my dear, I want you to listen to me very carefully. On the back of Mr. Bond's watch, the registration number 3-2-6-6. Do I speak the truth? You speak the truth. Well. If nothing else, at least I have laid your fears to rest. My compliments on a splendid operation. There is one thing, however, the... Whisper, take him to the farm. When do we start back? Soon, Solitaire, soon. Solitaire, why? I treated you well. You lacked for nothing. I don't understand what you... Mr. Bond's watch, my dear. I gave you every break possible. You had a 50-50 chance. You weren't even close. I had no choice. Please believe me. The cards. When the time came, I myself would have given you love. You knew that. You knew that! There's only one proper way to deal with this. And one proper time. (LAUGHING) (HORN HONKING) (SIGHS) (LAUGHING) The tonnage order is nearly complete. TEE HEE: We move it out tonight. And I mean tonight. Mr. Bond. How much do you know about crocodiles, Bond? Oh, I've always tried to keep them at arm's length, myself. Cute little nippers, ain't they? I don't suppose those potential overnight bags are orphans? Oh, no. We have some moms and dads, as well. In fact, quite a few thousand. This is the part I like best, feeding time. I suspect the highlight of the tour. Some of these babies live to be 200 years old. Look over there. That's an alligator. You can always tell by its round nose. (EXCLAIMS) There's old Albert. He's a croc. Got over-careless with him sometime back and he took my whole arm off. Well done, Albert. They'll eat anything, even each other. Then again, sometime they can go a whole year without eating. (CHUCKLING) Oh, I was rather counting on that. There are two ways to disable a crocodile, you know. I don't suppose you care to share that information with me? One way is to take a pencil and jam it in the depression hole behind his eyes. And the other? Oh, the other is twice as simple. You just put your hand in his mouth and pull his teeth out. (LAUGHING) (SNARLING) (SHOUTS) MAN: It's on fire! Adam, get him! Adam, get the car! Cut him off! Hector, move, damn it! Bond ripped off one of our boats! He's headed for the Irish Bayou. The man that gets him stays alive. Now, move, you mother... (MOTOR STARTING) Toby! Toby, I got me a regular Ben-Hur down here doing 95 minimum. Need any help, J.W.? Hell, no! (SIREN WAILING) You got a set of wheels that just won't quit, boy. If they're yours, that is. You spin around, boy. Ten fingers on the fender. Legs apart. I'm sure this ain't exactly your debut with this sort of thing. You picked the wrong parish to haul *** through, boy. Nobody cuts and runs on Sheriff J.W. Pepper. And it's him speaking, by the by. What the... (TIRES SCREECHING) TOBY ON RADIO: J.W., soon as you nail that offending vehicle, Miss Pearson just called. Seems her dog's foaming all at the mouth. She's got him locked up in her shed, wondering if you'd like to come over and shoot it for her. You tell Miss Pearson take a flying... (HORN HONKS) That look like a boat stuck in the sheriff's car there, Eddie? Boy, where you been all your life? That there's one of them new car-boats. By the powers invested in me by this parish I hereby do commandeer this vehicle and all those persons within. And that means you, smartass. (ENGINE SPUTTERING) (SIREN WAILING) OFFICER 1 ON RADIO: Unit 23 in position. OFFICER 2 ON RADIO: Ten-four, 23. Come in, 28. Hey, J.W., seems like Deke Rogers done got his boat stole off the river. But picked up a new one in his swimming pool. Sheriff, you want to get your boys off our frequency? Give me that! Now you listen to me, trooper boy! We got a swamp full of black Russians driving boats to beat the dam down here! Relax, Sheriff. We've got a roadblock waiting for them at Miller's Bridge. Unit 26 at Miller's Bridge. We're just about all set here. Make that secure there, you hear? Okay, fellas, here they come. All right, out of my way! I'm in charge here! You two boys, come on! I don't want excuses, trooper. I want those two men and their boats apprehended immediately, did you hear? Yes, sir, Captain. I understand. But I don't know right off where we're going to find a boat fast enough to catch them. I got it. You call my brother-in-law Billy Bob. He got the fastest boat on the whole damn river. Billy Bob will sure enough fix their ***, huh? Yeah, call Billy Bob. J.W. ON RADIO: Now, there's two boats, Billy Bob, and they're moving like buttered pigs. Now, I promised these boys here you would get them. Don't let me down, hear? Cool down, J.W. I'm on my way. You want something, boy? Yes, I'd like to borrow this boat, if I may. Everybody on the river would like to borrow this boat. Billy Bob, we got them spotted. They're headed for Haley's Landing. That's my brother-in-law! That's Billy Bob! He'll get them. Billy Bob'll get them. Hot damn! If one side of the Pepper family don't get them, the other side will. Let's go! If any man can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together let him now speak, or else hereafter... (WAILING) OFFICER ON RADIO: Headquarters to all units, suspects seen proceeding down via Liberty towards Highway 11. Proceed with caution. Would you get that chicken coop off the road? Did you ever think of getting a driver's license, boy? Are you sure that was your brother-in-law, Sheriff? (HORN HONKING) Hello, Felix. What are you doing here? We'll get to that later. Kananga's in town. He's got your girl with him. They just took off. There's the son of a ***! I got him! What are you? Some kind of doomsday machine, boy? Well, we got a cage strong enough to hold an animal like you here. Captain, would you enlighten the sheriff please? Yes, sir. J.W., let me have a word with you. J.W., now, this fella's from London, England. He's an Englishman working in cooperation with our boys, a sort of secret agent. Secret agent? On whose side? We busted the Fillet of Soul an hour ago. We came up with nothing but these. Kananga's clear. You should have seen the size of the guy who got on the boat with him. Nine feet tall, I swear. Big top hat, a cockamamie flute in one hand and Solitaire in the other. (TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING) The incendiary bombs are set for midnight. Now, that gives you exactly 30 minutes. Watch out for sharks on the way back. I'll see you for breakfast, Felix. Good hunting. You're going to need these and the shark gun on the way back. (ALL ULULATING) (DRUMS BEATING FASTER) Seems like the party's started. My regards to Baron Samedi, man, right between the eyes. (SCREAMS) (ALL CHEERING) (MUSIC STOPS) (ALL CHANTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) (DRUMS BEATING) (ALL CHEERING) (ALL SHOUTING) (ALL EXCLAIMING) (MAN SHOUTS) (BOMB DETONATES) (ALL EXCLAIMING) (SINGING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE) (HISSING) (SCREAMING) Trouble! (ALARM RINGING) Ah, Mr. Bond, there you are! And Miss Solitaire, as well. Hardly unexpected, but most welcome. Whisper! Two more glasses for our guests! What shall we drink to, Mr. Bond? Well, how about an earthquake? Welcome home! He'll be along anytime now. I checked behind a rock, and his wet suit is gone. Keep the change. It's unfortunate that your wet suit was discovered only minutes before the field was destroyed. Don't tell me you're not insured. No. The poppy's a very sturdy flower. You have been a relatively minor nuisance, in fact. But this gun... I find it particularly fascinating. What is it? A shark gun, naturally, with compressed gas pellets. (WHISPER LAUGHING) Ingenious! Don't pull the pin out. The air in here is foul enough already. (EXCLAIMS) Somehow I never thought of you as a poor loser. I was hoping you would join me to a drink to the future. Oh, Miss Solitaire used to know all about the future. She was especially good at predicting death. An underground monorail. Connected to the last refuge of a scoundrel, no doubt. The *** leaves here, I take it, carried somewhere by that winch. Correct again, Mr. Bond. What a quick study you are. Let me show you exactly how it works. Relax. He must have got tied up somewhere. These cans hold 25 pounds each. There are 20 cans to a shipment, packed in watertight... Metal containers. It's your show, Kananga, but I'm sure there must be a simpler way of drowning someone. Drown, Mr. Bond? I doubt you'll get the chance to drown. Perhaps we could try something in an even simpler vein. On the contrary, Mr. Bond. I think you'll find those wounds quite fatal. Whisper. The gate. Oh, slowly, Whisper! Slowly, slowly. Let our diners assemble. (SOFTLY) Look out! Where's Kananga? Well, he always did have an inflated opinion of himself. Oh, James, how do we get out of here? We take the train, of course. Well, thanks for everything, Felix. I'll see you tomorrow night at the 21 Club, and don't be late. I still don't see why you want to travel this way. I mean, what the hell can the two of you do on the train for 16 hours? Say goodbye to Felix, darling. Now, the first thing to learn in playing gin rummy is to never take a card from the exposed pile, unless you really need it. Gin. James, what are you doing? Just testing an old adage. Unlucky at cards... Do hurry up, James. Won't be a moment, darling. Lock the door as well on your way up, would you, James? After all, we wouldn't want anyone to just walk in on us, would we? The first time in my life, I feel like a complete woman. The slightest touch of your hand, I was always so afraid that a part of me would stay with the past. But now I know there's no chance of that any longer. Just to be able to reach out and touch you. Mr. Bond, it's good to see you again. (SOLITAIRE POUNDING) Well, that wasn't very funny. Now what are you doing? Just being disarming, darling. (LIVE AND LET DIE PLAYING) ♪ When you were young ♪ And your heart was an open book ♪ You used to say live and let live ♪ You know you did, you know you did You know you did ♪ But if this ever-changing world in which we live in ♪ Makes you give in and cry ♪ Say live and let die ♪ Live and let die ♪ Live and let die ♪ Live and let die ♪