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This is the story of Osman and I
Osman and I, we weren't always apart of the Ottoman Empire.
They captured us; we found ourselves trapped in a very dark room.
Where are we? Who are you? It doesn't matter who we are. What matters
is our plan. Let us go!
We brought you here to Constantinople. Sorry. We brought you HERE to Constantinople.
We conquered Constantinople in 1453 from the Byzantine Empire.
Turns out, they brought us to their capital in Constantinople. They called themselves
the Seljuk Turks. We met their Sultan, Mehmed II. They knew him as the conqueror because
he helped the Ottoman Empire recapture Constantinople. He drilled us with brutal training; the work
was arduous, but eventually we became the toughest Janissary soldiers in the Empire.
Nothing could stop us. We were on top of our game...but the empire was getting too large.
Fortunately, however, Mehmed II prepared the Tanzimat Reforms, which helped modernize the
entire empire...but even then, we weren't prepared for the Great War.
Got any kings? Go fish. Just a couple sultans and viziers.
Haha! That was a good one, you actually got me there!
So you guys here about that new bazar in town? Yeah man, let's go tonight, it's on me.
Pssh. That coffee shop. Hey, I heard the Harem has some fine ladies
though.
Ahh! ***!
King Kong ain't got nothin' on me! Oh ***! Oh ***!
Take his guns, take the ***'s guns! No, no, not the gun, not the gun! AHH!
Alight, let's go, let's go! Come on, come on! We don't have enough time!
Shoot! We need cover! We need back up! Look, there's Germany and Austria-Hungary!
Yeah! ***! They're down!
Well, we'll just fight with Germany then. Osman, be careful!
Osman! Osman, are you okay? Osman! Osman! No, Osman, Osman! Osman, are you okay?
I'm sorry about the beach house man. Forget about the beach house man, you're gonna
be fine! Osman?
Get em' good. Get em' good.