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>> [Inaudible] told us trust that you know what works best
for your child and your family and then go for it.
Don't waste time feeling guilty
about the things that you didn't do.
Use positive self-talk, focus on the things
that you did do and that you do do.
Don't let desperation for a fix cloud your common sense
when it comes to finances and time.
Focus on the child and the family and what they can do.
See the child as a person first.
There are lots of similarities with typical children
and autism is only one part of who they are.
Recognize that you might experience the stages of grief
that can come at any time and in any order.
Remember that you need to take care of yourself
so you have the resilience to take care of your child.
Do the things that you previously enjoyed doing.
Take time for yourself, your marriage, your relationships.
You cannot draw water from an empty well.
Enjoy the moments, take pictures,
smile and laugh for health sake.
I was reading through the caregiver e-journal located
at utahparentcenter.org, and I found some really good tips.
One, you are not alone.
It's so good for me to remember that I'm really not alone.
Accept what you can't change and work on the things that you can.
Set realistic goals.
Focus on self, marriage and family.
Get a babysitter once in a while.
Continue to do the activities that you previously enjoyed.
All of these things will help you take care of you
so that you can take care of the people around you.
>> For me taking care of myself means a lot of guilt that I feel
because I feel like I should always be taking care
of my two boys.
So the first thing that I would suggest is to realize
that you need to take care of yourself and then to find
out what that means to you and for me
that means taking a walk late at night by myself
with my iPod on or off.
We put our boys to bed early so that me and my husband have time
to ourselves in the evening to kind of wind down and talk
to each other and actually have adult conversation.
I like to do a lot of service and help other people so that
when I am feeling woe is me then I always know
that there's someone else out there that needs my help
and that helps me to feel good.
Something else that I do is get together with
and have a girl's night out or go to lunch
and to know that that's okay.
It's okay to take an hour out for yourself
and to be rejuvenated and to just have fun
and so those are the things that I do to take care of myself.
>> To take care of myself I make sure that I get to the gym
at least six days a week.
I spend my time actively running, biking, on a treadmill
of some kind, a stair stepper,
I also lift weights five to six times a week.
It keeps me there about an hour and a half every day.
It helps me maintain my level of sanity
and keeps my stress levels much lower
than they are when I'm not there.
I find that it keeps the endorphins up, again,
the stress levels are down, but it makes me feel better
and more relaxed throughout the remainder of my day whether I go
in the morning or in the afternoon
that doesn't make a difference, but just getting there
and taking that time for myself besides the physical aspect
of it I try to keep my mental side stimulated
and do things different
than what I would normally do at work.
I like to read, I spend time with books specifically
about Greek or Roman History.
It helps kind of keep me calm and mentally stimulated.
I also work *** being spiritually fit as well.
I stay active in our church.
I try to do things to help others when I can or called upon
to do things like that.
Those are the three biggest areas that I focus on on myself.
My wife also has her regime of things that she does.
She's very active in music, she sings in a group.
That gives her time to associate with other adult women,
which we find that having conversations,
real conversations with adults is huge
in keeping your mental capacities where they should be.
Otherwise you learn to talk like an autistic 10-year old.