Very Nervous Speech Solution

Hi, everyone. I'm Jade. Today, I want to talk to you about hesitation and how you can remove that from your speech. Most people will find that there are times that hesitation comes into their speech. And it's usually when you go outside of your comfort zone; you're in a new situation; or for whatever reason, you're feeling nervous. Perhaps you're giving presentation or you're in a job interview. So hesitation can come into your speech. When I mean "hesitation", it's those "um", "uh", those ugly sounds that we use when our thoughts are disorganized, and we feel nervous. Plus, I also mean when you s-s-stutter a bit, and you c-can't get the words out in a smooth way. This is a different kind of hesitation and also a sign of nervousness. So what we're going to do is look at a way that you can remove hesitation from your speech. Let's do this. Hesitation is a completely normal thing. Everybody does it. I hesitate. I haven't yet reached the point where I don't hesitate in my speech anymore. But you can become like me and learn to control those signs of nerves in your speech. And I really suggest this is a good thing for you to do because when we're out in the world, we want to present that best image of ourselves. Is it not better to seem in control than it is to seem nervous? One of the ways you can show this is by removing that hesitation in your speech. It will make you appear as a more organized person in your head rather than scattered and confused. Someone who is always "um, ah, uh" sounds very unsure of themselves. So what you need to do is replace that "um, uh" with nothing, with a pause, with silence because a pause is much better than that sound. So when I'm trying to remember a word, and it's not coming to me, I instead say it a different way. When I'm trying to remember a word, and it's not coming to me, I take control of my speech and allow there to be a pause. A pause is something that comes across as being very authoritative and in control. If you do too many pauses, and they're too long, you'll get on people's nerves. So don't do it in a force affected way. But if you are reaching for a word or trying to remember a word, a pause is better than an "uh, uh" sloppy sound. So what you can start to do -- and this is how I got control of it -- when you speak and you say things, you don't screen your words before you say them. You're not being fake with your words. They're still coming out at the perfect moment they want to come out. But as you say them, you have a different perspective. It's like you watch your words as they're coming out. So when you pause, you notice, "Oh, I" -- when you stutter or err, you notice, and you say, "Oh, right, then. I did an 'uh' sound." But what's really important when you observe yourself and your own speaking, is that you don't do it to be critical of yourself. You're not like, "Ugh! I did it! I did it again! I'm so rubbish!" You're not doing that. You're just seeing. If you're someone who has a problem with hesitation, the absolute worst thing you can do is be critical of yourself when you're observing your speech. So you notice that, "Oh, I hesitated." Or you notice that, "Oh, I stuttered." Do not be *** yourself. Do not be a critic. Do not tell yourself, "I'm rubbish. I can't even do this thing without hesitating." That just makes it worse. That feeds your nerves. You being *** yourself makes you more nervous. So you don't do that. When you observe yourself, you do it in a detached way. You're just observing. You're just measuring like a scientist watches something. "Ah. I hesitated a lot there. It was hard for me to get my words out." That's all you do, without being a judge, without being really critical. Just see it there. And if you're someone who s-stutters a lot, well, you need to know about stuttering is it's made worse when you fight against it. So when you feel nervous, and your body is telling you that you're nervous, maybe your body shape is really tight, and your head and your shoulders are all tight together. You cannot fight nervousness by trying to control your body. So if you're shaking, if your hands are shaking and you feel nervous, don't try to stop them. Let them shake and observe it, "Oh, my hands are nervous, now. My body is nervous." And through observing the body when it experiences nerves, what happens is the nerves lose control of you because you're looking at your nerves as if you're a scientist. It's like, "Oh, the body is nervous now. And you don't fight it because the more you fight nerves, the harder they come back to fight you. It's really counterintuitive. It means doing the opposite of what you expect. When you feel nervous, you want to control it, but the best thing you can do, feel nervous; accept it. "I'm nervous right now." It's the best thing you can do. And when you get control of your nerves, you get control of the hesitation and stuttering. I'd like to thank you all for watching today. On my channel, I have more videos about English communication, accents, and being an introvert. Please take a moment to check out my channel if you liked today's video. And until next time, see you.