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{So i had a thought} {Wait for it} {Wait for it} (Gasp) There seams to be, a disconnect
in my mind. Uh, and admittedly I've never been married. I don't know how that... works,
the mechanics of it. I don't, I don't really really, get it cause I've never done it. But
there seams to be, some sort of maturation process that needs to happen, um, in relation
to marriage. And I feel like a lot of my friends are missing a very crucial part of that. 'Cause
to me it would seam that, um, first you are, uh, sub-dependent, and then you are self-dependent,
and then you are co-dependent. And i don't mean this co-dependence in the, uh, traditional
sense. What i mean is first you rely on your parents, and then you rely on yourself, and
then you, uh, rely on - and - or/with your partner. And I think that that middle step
that 'relying on yourself' is crucial to developing who you are and how you think. But like i
said I've never been married, so this isn't me saying, "Oh I, I'm married and i can say
that it is definitely..." It just seams that... that i am growing so much more as individual
being single being, uh self reliant, coming to the end of the month and having 5 dollars
in my account and thinking, "how am i going to survive this?" and the pulling out of it
of my own... Like, it just... I think it cements you more as person than going from having
your parents or your guardians take care of you and then going right into, um, responsibility
of taking care of someone else, or having someone else take care of you. And... I, I
had, I had a friend the other day, um, we, we were talking about marriage, with the young
people in the Adventist Church... and uh, apparently, and i haven't researched this,
but apparently, um, Adventist have one of the highest divorce rates of any, I'm going
to say, "group" of what they were looking at - and its... its got to be in part to this
whole maturation process. I heard a pastor, I don't remember what pastor it was or where
i heard it - but, but he said, that the church pushes, uh, "compliance instead of maturity."Its
more about doing 'because' that's what your supposed to do. It's, it's, "I Say it, and
you do it." and then when thoes kids grow up there's not these gears grinding away,
determining and understanding and rationalizing, and going through process to come to an answer
based on... There's just simply, 'that's what it is, that's all there is and you just do
it.' And, and i think that being single, living on you own, fighting for yourself... helps
you figure you how to do that. Because i have to. I don't live with anyone, I don't have
to take care of anyone its just me and, like i said, never been married, don't plan on
getting married anytime soon... And so i have to fight in a different way that i think helps
cement me more as a person
