Silvio Berlusconi Sentenced to 7 Years in Prison; Will He Serve?

Silvio Berlusconi. Ring any bells? Sounds like the name of James Bond's suave alter ego. While Berlusconi might not be the man himself, he has his own way of being popular with the ladies. Italy's ex-prime minister was found guilty of abusing office and paying for sex with underage Moroccan nightclub dancer Karima El Mahroug, a.k.a. "Ruby the HeartStealer." What a name. You know I never got cool nicknames like that when I was 17. But I can't say I'm jealous. Berlusconi has since been sentenced to seven years in jail and is banned from holding public office for life. It was a bitter blow to the political career of Berlusconi, whose supporters and close allies denounced the courts decision as "absurd" and as a "coup d'etat" by a Left-wing judiciary. Oh really? They're ticked? You don't say. Yet Silvio Berlusconi is known worldwide for his exotic nights and lifestyle. He is most famously known for his so called "bunga bunga" parties, which he would host at his villa outside Milan. Prosecutors alleged that more than 30 glamorous young women attended these parties, paid for their services and performing strip teases and *** dances in an underground room, which featured a stage, a bar and a small dance floor. Because who doesn't like a nice party? And the stories only continue from there. On one occasion a group kissed and according to witnesses "touched intimately." The then prime minister allegedly paid each of these women thousands of euros to attend the parties, lavishing 17-year-old Ruby with tens of thousands. This is actually so hilarious I ain't even mad. What a way to go down in history. Why's it called "bunga bunga?" The first explanation of the phrase comes from Berlusconi himself, who says that it's from a politically incorrect joke he likes to tell about a pair of Left-wing politicians who are captured by a tribe of cannibals in Africa. The second explanation is that it was a phrase he borrowed from his friend, the late Muammar Gaddafi, dictator of Lybia. "Bunga bunga" indicates a harem of young women. Either way, it's become a global term that incites images of *** parties where questionably young women perform *** favors. Certainly neither of these explanations helped his case much. With regard to his other serious offence, the abuse of office charge; Berlusconi made a call to a Milan police station in May 2010 to release Ms. El Mahroug from a theft charge. Terrified that the police would find out that she was 17 and underage at the time, and attending his wild sex parties, he tried to hush up his relationship with her by telling the police that she was the granddaughter of Hosni Mubarak, Egyptian Leader- and if she wasn't released, it was cause diplomatic calamity with Cairo. But, after dozens of trials, hundreds of allegations, postponing trials to run for re-election- Berlusconi was even convicted of violating secrecy laws by publishing transcripts of phone calls tapped by the police. The law has finally caught up with Silvio Berlusconi. Kinda. Berlusconi is certain to appeal his convictions, and if he looses his appeal, he will undoubtedly appeal again to the Italian Supreme Court- dragging out the case for years. Until then, he is not expected to serve any prison term until all possible appeal trials have been carried out. Even now, the former Italian prime minister won't have to serve any time in jail simply because he's too old. Italian law almost always spares those over 75 any jail time unless they committed some heinous crime. Lucky Berlusconi, the billionaire media mogul, is 76. Like I said. Straight out of James Bond. You know what it's time for? A SEXY PARTY. [stewie griffin clip] Thanks for watching everybody- like and subscribe for more news and satire, and click on things! Lots of things! Like our facebook, twitter and itunes podcast pages! You are awesome- go throw yourself a sexy party, and I'll see you on the wire. Signing off.