Shake It Up! S1E4 - English Transcript

 It's our life We got a vital sign It's our life Not gonna let it die Now it's pulsing It's beating It's moving It's breathing Tonight It's our life Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah It's our life [cheers and applause] Whoo! Ha ha ha! All right! Well, that's our show. Special thanks to our own Shake It Up Dance Crew! You guys tore it up! [cheers] I'm Gary Wilde. And to that special little lady I met last night, I'd like my watch back. [buzzer sounds] Good show, everybody. I love coming to work. This place is my own little world-- peaceful, perfect. Hey, your mom's here. And now it's ruined forever. Hello, Officer. Gary Wilde. And may I say, you have the right to remain foxy. Gary, my Taser is fully charged, and I am not afraid to use it. Right back at ya. Mom, why are you here? You're embarrassing me. You say "embarrassing," I say "sweet, sweet revenge" for all those diaper changes. [giggles] What are you laughing at? You weren't fully potty trained till you were six. I thought I'd get sucked in. Listen, I got a letter from your algebra teacher. You're failing. What? That's right. We had an agreement-- school first, the show second. But, Mom, I'm doing the work. I am! CeCe, honey, you know you have to work harder than the other kids. But, Mom, I do the homew-- No. I hate to play bad cop here, but get your grade up, or you're off the show. This is totally unfair. You know, I wouldn't mind at all if you'd like to play a little bad cop with me. Get it? [chuckling] Yes. Yes, I do. Say, Gary, what kind of car do you drive? It's a red Porsche. It's parked out front. Ooh! [Selena Gomez] Everybody, everybody Get out on the floor It can get a little crazy When the kick hits the floor Make a scene, make a scene Nobody can ignore Don't knock it till you rock it We can't take it no more Bring the lights up Bust the doors down Dust yourself off Shake it up, shake it up DJ, set it off Take it up a notch All together now Shake it up, shake it up Sh-sh-sh-shake it up You gotta change it up And when you've had enough Sh-sh-sh-shake it up Bring the lights up Bust the doors down All together now Shake it up, shake it up Shake it up Ooh! So how'd you do on your algebra test? This is such a funny story. I sat next to a kid that fell asleep while taking the test! Yeah? He did better than me. Ooh, D. So that's how those look. Shushie! This means the next test I need at least a B, or I'm off the show. Wait. We'll just work harder. No. I'm just lousy at math like you're lousy at I hate that you're not lousy at anything. That's not true. [scoffs] I am really lousy at knitting. You knit? Eh, not anymore. I stink. Hey, Deuce, CeCe needs a math tutor. Don't bother. I'm hopeless. Math tutor? All right, let me consult my files. All right. Bail bonds, paranormal investigations, crime scene cleanup, horse whisperer? [scoffs] All right. Uh, oh, here we go. Math tutor-- Henry Dylan. Oh, boring name. He's a genius. Who cares? College guy. Why, I do need a math tutor. [sighs] What is wrong, sister twin? You look like you have the boo-hoos. Why shouldn't my "hoos" be boo? I see couples all around, kissing and hugging. I want a date. No problem, Tinka-bear, I will take you on a date. No. I want real date with real boy. I mean, it's not like we're going to grow up and get married. You do know we're not going to grow up and get married, right? Ty, just the man I want to see. Gunther, looking sparkly as always. Oh! Dude, sweet kicks! How much you want for them? Not for sale. All right. How about I win them off you? Arm wrestling. What if I win? Do I get your jacket? Yeah, you can get my pet unicorn, too, 'cause you ain't winning. [both laugh] Have a seat. I'll ref. You ready? One, two, three, go! Aw, man! You got served! Pay up, loser boy. I'll cut up jacket to make into handbag for Tinka. No, hold up, hold up. Uh, I didn't know we were starting. What part of "One, two, three, go" did you not understand? Now, down to business. Ty, what do you think of my sister? She's a whack-job with good hair. Perfect. You'll not get all grabby handy When you take her on a date. A date? Dude, not for a million bucks. How about $50? Done. [whistles] Jacket. [sniffs] Now my pits are kissable. You know this college guy is coming over here to help you with math, not date you. That's how it will start. But, eventually, he'll fall madly in love. Of course he'll have to wait five years 'cause it's totally inappropriate now. I'm telling you now, I'm not wearing yellow at your fantasy wedding. [knocking] [gasps] Please be a little cute, please be a little cute. Please be a little cute. [gasps] Well, he is little. Well, hell-- Oh, no. Hello. I'm Henry, your tutor. I'm sorry. There's been a mistake. I was expecting a college guy. I am in college-- premed and prelaw. I still can't decide. I'm such a procrastinator. And you are? Oh, I'm Rocky, CeCe's best-- Great. Please leave. We have a lot of work to do. I like him. But, you know, I hope you're willing to wait five years because it would be totally inappropriate to date him now. [laughing] Shake it up You want something to drink? I'll have a ginseng ginkgo biloba infusion. Stimulates brain activity. [shudders] I'm sorry. I did not understand a word you just said. Never mind. I'll have some H2O. You know what? I'm good. Now, the problem you're having with math-- [phone rings] Oh, hang on a second there, Henry. Ooh! Ooh! Oh! Henry, Henry, hey! Give me back my phone! [phone beeps] Gladly. What did you do to my phone? I locked it. The password is the answer to an algebra problem. Solve it, and you have your phone back. X? X-squared? Uh, X minus Y? Y minus X? Something to the something-power? [gasps] 37. CeCe, I haven't given you the problem yet. [stammers] I knew that. I demand a rematch. I wasn't ready before. Okay, one more time. But then you leave me alone so I can eat my muffin. What will I get of yours when I win? You're not gonna win! I guess my hoodie. Fine. My cat's going to have kittens soon. She can do it on that. Ready, Deuce-y? Ready. One, two, three, go. [squeaks] I will take your hoodie. You should take some vitamins. [sighs] Hi. I am in no mood to be bothered with. I am presently birthing kittens. You, me, date, Saturday night. This is not the proper way to ask me out. You must get down on one knee, and offer my father 25 goats. Huh? Tinka make a joke. It's 15 goats. Hmm. Look, do you want a date, or do you want to make cheese? Don't be silly. I wouldn't make cheese until the second date. Pick me up at 7:00. [cat yowls] Got to go. Push, Fluffy, push! And so X equals 32. Oh, good to know. Ah, algebra. I remember my first time. Taking it? No, teaching it. I don't get why I even have to learn algebra. It's not like I'm going to grow up and be a alge-brainiac. [sighs] What do you want to be? A dancer. Good career move. [mouths word] CeCe, teach me to dance. Show me a few steps. Um, all right. Just, uh, follow me. All right. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Hang on. What were you just doing there? It sounded like Counting? And counting is nnn Numbers? And numbers are mmm Math? Math! Math. I love it when I break through! Wow. You look Not ridiculous! Right back at ya. So where do you want to go? I've always wanted to see the Pickle Museum in the moonlight. And we're back to ridiculous. Let's go. [video game bleeps and explosions] Yes, yes, yes! [crashing sound] No! [knocking at door] I'll get it, Mom! Greetings, young fellow. 'Sup, little weirdo? CeCe's running late. She'll be here soon. [tires screeching] Oh, man, I'm dying here! You play any games? I teach bunnies to play checkers. Yeah? Well, I just killed a zombie, stole a bus, and spray painted the word "booger" onhe side of a cop car. Wanna play around? Oh, no. That's not my thing. I must say, those graphics are amazing. You know, that type of definition is made possible by our understanding of polygons and Whoa! Kick him in the throat, kick him in the throat! Take that! Ha! Die! Die, zombie, die! Die! Die! [saxophone] Ooh, I love this. You like this music? Yes. My granny-mama used to play it all the time on the farm. That's sweet. It would relax the chickens before we cut off their heads. That's less sweet. Tinka made another joke. The chickens never relax. They know they're going. Okay. I didn't know you danced. There's a lot you don't know about me. Dance with me. No. I-- I can't. I only dance with Gunther. And when Gunther had measles, a small pig. Come on. [Gunther yodels] Hello-o-o! It is me, Gunther Hessenheffer! Gary? I got your text. Am I early for special rehearsal? Well, well, well. Looks like the spider has entered the web. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Isn't the spider already in the web? Don't you mean the fly? Yeah, yeah. I-- I-- I-- I meant "fly. " I-- I meant to say "fly. " Do me a favor. Go out. We'll start again. Deuce-y, Deuce-y, Deuce-y, Deuce-y, I've already won your jacket and your hoodie. Now, I will beat your pants off and make them into houses for the little kittens. No, I'm gonna beat your pants off and And give them back to you because they're terrible pants! Oh-ho-ho-ho! Ho! Let us rock! One, two, three, go! Thank you, Ty. I had fun tonight. So did I. I did, really. Thank you for taking money from Gunther to go out with me. Oh, you know about that? Look, I'm sorry. I'll give it back. Give it to Gunther. You were perfect first date. Um So you want to go out again? I don't know. We're so different. I am sequins, you are denim. I am gold shoes, you are high-tops. Well, maybe you can think about it. I will. I'll think about it, too. A lot. Hey, I'm sorry I'm late-- [in unison] Die, die, die! What is going on here? Be with you in a second, Red. Got to get some zombie guts out of my monster truck. Flynn, you broke my tutor. Rocky, he broke my tutor. He's not broken. Yo, Rock, see if you can fry us up a little bacon. Oh, he's broken. Yeah, broken every record in "Brain Eaters III," [in unison] Boo-pssh! Wait, I need him. I've been doing so good my teacher thought I was cheating. I have that test on Monday, and I can't pass it without him. We shared hair gel. He's mine now. Great, just great. I'm going to fail and be off the show. Wait, wait. I can help you. Yeah. Good luck with that. [scoffs] I may not be a freaky boy-genius, but I am in honors math. I can teach her. I doubt you know how to teach dyslexics. Who-- Who's dyslexic? CeCe. How did you know that? Because my brother is dyslexic, and I tutor him. That's how I know how to teach you. CeCe? Stop staring at me. CeCe, wait! Dude, I live with two women. You did not handle that right. [in unison] Die, die, die! What is going on? How come you never told me you had dyslexia? I was too embarrassed. I'm your best friend. I know every embarrassing thing about you. And there's a lot. I know you sometimes sleep with your baby blanket. I-- I know you still can't get on some of the big-kid rides at the park. CeCe, this isn't something you need to be embarrassed about. How do you know? [voice breaking] I see letters, and sometimes it just looks like alphabet soup. I wake up every day terrified that I might have to read something out loud. [sniffles] I never knew that. Because I didn't want you to know. I didn't want anyone to know. Why does it even matter? Because people can be mean. Especially if they find out that you have some kind of weird disorder. It's not a weird disorder. Millions of people have it. [sniffles] Yeah, but Rocky, sometimes it affects my dancing. Left and right--they just get jumbled up in my head, and I can't do anything about it. And then I think [sighs] Who am I kidding? I'm never going to be as good as any of the other dancers. [sobbing] CeCe? Stop. Stop. You know what that dyslexia says about you? That you're twice as tough as I thought you were. Yeah? Yeah. You know what? Everyone has some kind of baggage that they have to carry around their whole life. And yours is dyslexia. What's yours? My enormous feet. Yeah, but that's not so bad. I'm wearing my brother's shoes. But you always get picked first in kickball. [mouths words] Look, there is nothing in this world that you can't tell me. You can trust me with any secret. [sniffles] I know. You can trust me, too. Good. 'Cause here's the secret-- Ty and Tinka are out on a date. Get out of Denver! [laughs] I know! This won't be a secret for long. Deuce, where's your clothes? Mind your own business. You're just lucky we thumb-wrestled, and I won back my underwear. Okay, next lesson on being a real boy-- Scary Movies 101. Camping in the woods on Friday the 13th. You hear a sound, what do you do? Run? No. Trick question. You never go camping on Friday the 13th. Next lesson on being a real boy-- you don't take notes. "You. . don't take notes. " Give me that. [whimpers] - So? - I Didn't get B on the test. - No! - I Get. - B Plus. - What?! Wow! She get B plus! Wow! She get B plus, She get B plus. - She get a B-B-B Ow-Ow, she - Mom? - Please, stop, You are embarrassing me. - Oh, Come on! - I am a good dancer, Right, Rocky? - Oh, you were Dancing, Oh - I thought you just tasered yourself. - I am so proud of you! You get a B-plus! You get a OK, i'm done. - Ha! I get a B-plus! - You get a B-plus. - # S-S-Shake It Up #. - # Shake it Up#