1st

Iím not even sure at the time in World War II we knew what psychological health was. So far as combat is concerned, somebodyís trying to kill you, I think the stress is going to be the same in any kind of a war. World War I itís called a shell shock. Then we came up to World War II and it became the psychoneurosis. And then we came into Korea and it was battle fatigue. And then we came to Vietnam, and finally in Vietnam is where the PTSD really started and, of course, none of usÖ we didnít have any idea what that was. Today itís all too clear that TBI, post-traumatic stress, and numerous other related mental ailments are widespread, entrenched, and insidious. This department has over time realized that military medicine must have the same expertise, focus, and standards of excellence to address psychological wounds as we do for physical injuries. Things are so nice when you come back initially and then the regular life sets in. You start having trouble sleeping and thinking about your past experiences. I lost a lot of sleep and so I started compensating for that by drinking so that I could sleep. I was distant from everybody in my family. The room could be filled with people that I loved and cared about, and Iíd be over here thinking about what happened to me or some of my fellow Marines in Iraq three months ago. I would get angry at things. I would get frustrated. I was angry at everything and everyone. My anger from work would carry over. Never physicalóI just wanted them to go away, because I didnít want them to be part of what was going on with me. Itís awfully difficult to criticize yourself and to say, ìI need help.î But you have to have the strength, I think in military terms, you have to have the balls, to go ahead and do it. Get the help because you can become a detriment to your unit. You can become a problem. You can become a problem at home. These things donít happen just on the battlefield. Iím Sgt. Josh Hopper, United States Marine Corps. Iíve been in for right at five and a half years. Iíve had one deployment to Africa and two deployments to Iraq. It was while I was in VMFA-115 as the executive officer that I knew Sgt. Hopper. He did two tours in Iraq as an infantry Marine, as a saw gunner. On his first deployment, he fired thousands and thousands of rounds from his weapon, saw lots of casualties, and experienced battle on a daily basis throughout his deployment. On his second one, he employed his weapon only one or two times, but saw more and more IEDs. In fact, he received a Purple Heart for injuries he sustained as a result of an IED. Sgt. Hopper, when he joined the squadron, came to me as one of my S-2 intel clerks. He was a lat move from the infantry. Not only was he this big, physical specimen of a Marine who could push around more weights than just about anybody else in the squadron, but he also was a kind man. Very professional, did his job and did it well. I couldnít find enjoyment in anything. I couldnít even enjoy being around my own kids. I was distant from everybody in my family. Where it would be Iíd call my mom and dad two or three times a week, well, they would call me two or three times a week because I wasnít calling them, and Iíd just hit the ìignoreî button. Pretty much all I did was Iíd come home from work, pour a drink of some sort, and just sit there till I fell asleep, and wake up and go to work the next morning. Pretty much a repeat cycle. Iím Major General David Blackledge. Iíve been in the Army for just short of 34 years. That first tour in Iraq, I ended up spending 14 months initially as Brigade Commander and then assumed command of all the civil affairs forces in Iraq, Kuwait, and Jordan. I was severely injured in an ambush right toward the end of my first tour and spent the next 11 months in recovery, rehabilitation, before I was returned to active duty. It was actually very helpful once I got to Walter Reed; a senior psychiatrist met with me and explained some of the things I could expect as I recovered and the kind of post-traumatic stress kinds of things that may manifest themselves, and he would monitor those. Iíd gotten the monitored help when I was in my recovery from injuries sustained in the ambush, but then I deployed again. Went through my second deployment, got wounded again during a suicide bombing, but it really was about a year after that that I was still experiencing nightmares, I was still having trouble sleeping, I would still get angry unnecessarily, frustrated, and I just started thinking, ìWell, is this just the way it is going to be for the rest of my life? Is this just part of the process and the results of the experiences Iíve been through?î My name is Lt. Col. Mary Carlisle. Iíve been in the Air Force for 20 years and my specialty is critical care nursing. Maj. Iwona Blackledge. Iíve been in the Air Force 17 years, primarily as a critical care nurse. In OEF/OIF, I deployed to Iraq in 2003; then in 2007, deployed as IC nurse to Balad Air Force Base. I was the night shift shift leader in the intensive care unit at Balad. Before I deployed I thought, ìIím an experienced critical care nurse, thereís nothing I canít handle.î But, that quickly changed and the casualties came in every single night: IED blasts, burns. The helicopters would come in one right after the other, and it was so noisy with the generators, and the people shouting, and the heat and these horrific injuries over and over. Everyday, horrendous things that we saw and had to take care of. The caregivers have to take care of these patients. How do you support themó a young solider, airman, Marine, sailor, whoís lost a leg, whoís lost an arm, whoís lost two arms? How do you let a patient die? I started feeling very, very angry and I think it was because we were in such a helpless situation. There were many women, children, service members that died, and I took care of them as they died and it just went against what is ingrained in me, and thatís saving lives. And you just get this overwhelming sense of helplessness and hopelessness, and I brought that home with me. My name is Maj. Jeff Hall. Iíve been in the Army for 17 years. Maj. Hall was my battery commander for Operation Iraqi Freedom I and III. If he said that we were going to storm the Gates of Hell today, I would say, ìAlright, sir, letís go.î The first deployment, when we entered Baghdad, the people were really glad to see us. It seemed like the year just flew by. We captured a lot of people that needed to be captured. It just seemed like we could do our job. It was the second tour that I started to really feel it grinding down on me. I couldnít find anything that we were doing that was advancing the ball down the field. We, essentially, was kind of just driving around until we got blown up. We had an IED incident where two of the guys that was in my tank unit that was attached to me was killed and one of the lieutenants was wounded severely. And I donít know why, but that shook me. I mean, it really shook me to the bone. I had seen dead GIs before, Iíd held a couple of guys as the chopper came in to pick them up, and I just always was able to troop on. But, for some reason, it was like the straw that broke the camelís back for me, and my anger started to really come out. I could tell when he walked in the door of the hangar, he wasnít the same man. He would say things and his eyes would get black. He would have a deep, dark look in his eyes, and that was not Jeff at all. We just kept hoping that things would get better, but it wasnít. I am Staff Sgt. Meg Krause. I was on active duty for five years. I joined the Reserves when I came out of active duty and now Iím the non-commissioned officer in charge of a battalion aid station for a combat engineering unit in Pennsylvania. Operation Iraqi Freedom: I flew combat casualty missions, so weíd pick patients up and fly them from Baghdad back to Germany for medical care. I was stop-lossed in 2006. I would have gotten out of the service, but I was deployed to Iraq at the time just outside of Tikrit. I was a medic. We got mortared a lot and we always say that when everybody else has to turn away and pull security, we have to turn around and face the damage. My psychological health, I didnít think it was an issue when I came home. You know, ìIím going to be OK, Iím not going to be one of those people who clams up and doesnít talk about it and canít handle it.î It wasnít until two and a half years later when I was in the high stress of graduating from college ó writing papers, taking tests, looking for a job, looking for an apartment, everything Iíve worked for for goodness only knows how many years is coming to a close and I donít even know what Iím doing next ó and thatís when I really started to notice a problem.