The Sopranos S3E8 - English Transcript

♪ WOKE UP THIS MORNING ♪ ♪ GOT YOURSELF A GUN ♪ ♪ YOUR MOMMA ALWAYS SAID YOU'D BE THE CHOSEN ONE ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, YOU'RE ONE IN A MILLION ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO BURN TO SHINE ♪ ♪ BUT YOU WERE BORN UNDER A BAD SIGN ♪ ♪ WITH A BLUE MOON IN YOUR EYES ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING ♪ ♪ ALL THAT LOVE HAD GONE ♪ ♪ YOUR PAPA NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT ♪ ♪ RIGHT AND WRONG ♪ ♪ BUT YOU'RE LOOKIN' GOOD, BABY ♪ ♪ I BELIEVE YOU'RE FEELIN' FINE ♪ ♪ BORN UNDER A BAD SIGN ♪ ♪ WITH A BLUE MOON IN YOUR EYES ♪ ♪ WOKE UP THIS MORNING ♪ ♪ GOT A BLUE MOON IN YOUR EYES ♪ ♪ YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING ♪ ♪ THE WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN ♪ ♪ THINGS AIN'T BEEN THE SAME ♪ ♪ SINCE THE BLUES WALKED IN OUR TOWN ♪ ♪ BUT YOU'RE ONE IN A MILLION ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE YOU GOT THAT SHOTGUN SHINE ♪ ♪ SHAME ABOUT IT ♪ ♪ BORN UNDER A BAD SIGN ♪ ♪ WITH A BLUE MOON IN YOUR EYES ♪ ♪ WOKE UP THIS MORNING ♪ ♪ GOT YOURSELF A GUN ♪ ♪ GOT YOURSELF A GUN ♪ ♪ GOT YOURSELF A GUN ♪ ( techno music playing ) THIS I S SO AMAZING ! ( laughing ) HEY ! . OH, MY GOD THE WAY YOU JU ST SAID HEY TO ME. YOU ARE SO NICE. ME. I MEAN, I KNEW THAT THE FIRST DAY YOU SAW HUG ME ! T. YOU HA VE TO TRY I E. I AM SO NOT DEPRESSED ANYMOR TRY WHAT ? ! ECSTASY WHERE DID YOU GET IT ? YOUR FRIEND ! ? WHAT THE *** IS HE DOING AT COLUMBIA GOD, HE'S *** CUTE ! . OUR FAMILIES ARE FRIENDS , I'VE KNOWN HIM FOREVER YOU LIKE THAT ? I CHOOSE YOU ! HAVING FUN ? . NOT AS MUC H AS CAITLIN YOU SEE THE EYES SHE HAD ON ME ? THE LID, DUDE. SHE'S FROM OKLA-***'-HOMA. SO, JACKIE, YOU'RE IN A FRAT NOW ? RUTGERS CHAPTER, SINCE FRESHMAN YEAR. I CAME UP HERE TO SEE YOU. GOT ANY MORE X ? FOR YOU, THE FIRST HIT'S FREE. JUST DON'T TELL YOUR DAD. I DON'T EVEN TALK TO HIM ANYMORE. READ 'EM AND SUCK MY *** ! YES, YES ! YES, BABY ! 30 TIMES, RIGHT THERE, THAT'S MINE. HO, HE'S STILL GOT THE DICE ? I OWN THESE ***' DICE. YOU'RE MAKIN ' ME A RICH MAN, RALPHIE BOY. THE BOSS. HOW ARE YA ? S ? WHAT CAN I GET YA GUY ***' FACCIA DI MERDA, HE DON'T COME SAY HELLO ? WHAT'S THIS, A NEW SUIT, HUH ? HEY, T ON' HOW ARE YA ? HOW YA DOIN' ? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ? THE SKIP'S HERE. . I'M ON A ROLL HERE YOU'LL BE ON A SLAB YOU KEEP IT UP. HEY, COME HERE. '. HEY, TON UY. I'M SORRY, THIS ***' G . HELLO, ANTHONY D. YOU LOOK GOO WANT A DRINK ? ANOTHER TIME, ANTHONY. ANOTHER TIME. LET'S WHACK THIS *** AND BE DONE WITH IT. I'M HERE TO ENJOY MYSELF. I'M SO ***' HARD. T. NO, JACKIE, DON' MEADOW. MEADOW, WAKE UP. Y. I'M SO SLEEP YOU DRANK TOO MUCH ***' TEQUILA. C'MON, I CAN'T STOP NOW. "ANOTHER TIME, ANTHONY" ? *** TURNS HIS BACK ON THE BOSS ? THAT I COULDN'T BELIEVE. HE'S LUCKY I DIDN'T PUT ONE IN HIS ***' HEAD ! ON THAT FRONT, DON'T BE SURPRISED IF PAULIE POPS THE QUESTION. RALPHIE'S STAR IS RISING. NS. ALL THOSE UNIO . PAULIE CAN'T COME NEAR THAT KINDA CASH FOR US RALPHIE'S A GOOD EARNER. GUY LIKE THAT... ON. LOOSE CANN U. YOU'LL BE LEAVING YOUR HOU HE'LL PULL A JACK RUBY ON YO WHY'D I HAVE TO PUNCH THIS ***' *** ? .. FRANKLY. I WAS A LITTLE SURPRISED. YOU'RE GONNA START ON ME NOW, HUH ? HE DISRESPECTED "THE BING". . SO, HE'S BARRE D FROM THE PLACE HE BASHED THAT POOR GIRL'S BRAINS IN. ... I HEAR YOU I KNOW. DY. IT WAS A TRAGE , THE FACT IS THOUGH . SHE WAS NOT RELATED TO YOU BY BLOOD OR MARRIAGE SHE WAS NO T YOUR GOOMATA. . RALPHIE'S A MADE GUY, TON' . ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, HE'S GOT A LEGITIMATE BEEF MAKE HIM DISAPPEAR OR MAKE NICE. YOU ONLY GOT TWO CHOICES. GY. I WOULD SUGGEST SOMETH ING IN THE WAY OF AN APOLO ABSOLUTELY ***' NOT ! . DO SOMETHING PUBLIC THAT SHOWS THERE'S NO BAD BLOOD GIVE HIM... GIVE HIM A PIECE OF THE CASINO. WE'RE PARTNERED WITH NEW YORK ON THAT AND I DON'T WANT HIM THAT CLOSE TO JOHNNY SACK. YOU COULD BUMP HIM UP TO CAPTAIN. IT'S WHAT HE'S BEE N WANTING, YOU KNOW. RALPHIE A ***' CAPTAIN... OVER MY DEAD BODY. THANK YOU. YOU SEE THAT *** BEFORE ? THE LOOK ON TONY'S FACE WHEN I TURNED DOWN THAT DRINK ? BUY ME A DRINK ? *** YOU. HE KNEW IT WAS WRONG, WHAT HE DID. HE IS THE BOSS, HE COULD DO WHAT HE WANTS. , BOSS OR NO UY. YOU DON'T RAISE YOUR HANDS TO ANOTHER MADE G JOE MO FROM MULBERRY STREET, EXACT SAME SITUATION. ND. HE SMACKED THAT GUY FROM NORTH BERGEN AROU HUGE PROBLEM. OF COURSE. RULES ARE RULES, OTHERWISE, WHAT ? ***' ANARCHY. GY. AT THE VERY LEAST, TONY OWES YOU AN APOLO THE MONEY I PUT IN HIS POCKET FOR CONSTRUCTION ALONE, HE SHOULD HIT HIS KNEES, THIS PRICK. WHAT ? YOU THINK I'M AFRAID OF THAT FAT *** ? NO OFFENSE. I COULD SEE IF IT WAS HIS DAUGHTER, OR A NIECE OF HIS, BUT ALL THIS OVER SOME DEAD ***. HE HAD TO BE ***' HER. NO. HE KNEW YOU WERE ***' HER. THAT'S WHY, THAT'S HOW HE IS, LIKE A DOG WITH TWO BONES. I'M SUPPOSED TO GO OVER THERE... FOR THANKSGIVING, ME AND RO, TONY'S. REALLY ? *** HIM AND HIS TURKEY. I OUGHTA SHOVE A DRUMSTICK UP HIS ***. ♪ OH LA LA ♪ ♪ GEE, BUT IT'S GOOD TO BE ♪ LOOK WHO I CAUGHT SNEAKING IN THE FIRE DOOR. MY PARISHIONERS MIGHT NOT UNDERSTAND I'M HERE TO HELP FEED THE HUNGRY. ( Silvio ) REVEREND. HAPPY THANKSGIVING. MADONN', WHO NEEDS IT ? OH, C'MON, TURKEY, SWEET POTATOES, PUMPKIN PIE ? YOU GOTTA LOVE ALL THAT. THAT'S BECAUSE YOU NEVER LIVED THROUGH THE "WALYO" VERSION. MAJOR ANTIPAST' FIRST. THEN SOUP, MEATBALLS AND SCHAROL THEN THE BAKED MANIGOTT', THEN THE BIRD. I LOVE MANICOTTI. ( Chris ) TURKEYS ARE HERE. . THERE ARE SOME IN HERE, TOO THING WITH TURKEYS, THEY GOT NO SENSE OF DIRECTION. THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY TO FOOD EMPORIUM AND NOW LOOK. ( laughing ) WHAT'S THIS I HEAR ABOUT RALPH CIFARETTO ? B ? HE REFUSED TO HAVE A DRINK W ITH YOU AT THE CLU SO ? UCK HE REFUSED THE DRINK 'CAUSE H E'S A DESPICABLE F ER. THAT I ***-SLAPP ED AT A MOMENT OF VERY JUSTIFIED ANG THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PROBLEM. HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU AND YOURS. YEAH, YOU TOO. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, REVEREND. ? THAT MINE L. AH, BEAUTIFU AT. LOOK AT TH ! AH, *** WHAT'S THE MATTER ? THAT ***' ***'S SUPPOSED TO COME TO THANKSGIVING IE. WITH ROSAL NO WAY HE'LL SHOW. I'M GONNA GIVE HIM THE OPTION ? THAT *** SHOULDN'T EVEN BE THER E IN THE FIRST PLACE. ( knocking ) HONEY, I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE TO-- I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE TO BE PINNED DOWN, BUT THANKSGIVING, IT WOULD BE VERY NICE TO BE ABLE TO TELL CARMELA WHETHER YOU'RE COMING. WHO'S GONNA BE THERE ? BESIDES US ? I DON'T KNOW, CARM'S PARENTS. GREAT. HOW ABOUT MEADOW ? SO, THANKSGIVING, WHO'S ALL COMING THIS YEAR ? YOU KNOW, THE USUAL. NANA AND GRANDPA... CHRIS AND ADE. I THINK JANICE IS BRINGING SOMEONE FROM HER PRAYER GROUP. Um, and Aunt Ro and Uncle Ralph. ? JACKIE'S PROBABLY NOT COMING THOUGH, RIGHT Oh, I don't know, why ? CAN'T I JUST ASK ANYTHING ? ALRIGHT, TAKE IT EASY. I HAVE CLASS, I'LL SEE YOU THURSDAY. ALRIGHT, BYE. ( phone ) HELLO. HEY, CARM, IT'S RO. GOD, THAT IS SO WEIRD THAT YOU JUST CALLED. I JUST HUNG UP WITH MEADOW AND SHE WAS ASKING IF JACKIE WAS COMING FOR THANKSGIVING. OH, REALLY ?! JACKIE JUST ASKED ME ABOUT HER. MY RADAR'S UP. OH, YOU AND THOSE ROMANCE NOVELS, ROSALIE. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN THOSE TWO WOULD MAKE, WITH THOSE GENES ? REMEMBER WHEN MEADOW WAS BORN, WHAT WE SAID ? YES, WE SAID A LOT OF THINGS, RO. DO ME A FAVOR, CONCENTRATE ON THAT ALMOND TORTE OF YOURS, ALRIGHT ? I'M COUNTING ON YOU. I'm looking for the recipe. ALRIGHT, BYE. Y. HERE'S THE TURKE OH, MY GOD, IT'S HUGE. GOOD THING, I'M FEEDING AN ARMY THIS YEAR. NK. NOT AS MANY AS YOU THI I NEED YOU TO CALL ROSALIE AND CANCEL WITH THEM. THANKSGIVING, WHY ? JUST DO IT, ALRIGHT ? ENOUGH OF THIS JETSON'S *** THEM COMING OVER TO MR. SPACELY'S HOUSE FOR DINNER. I WAS JUST TALKING TO HER, WHAT AM I GONNA SAY ? FINE, I'LL CALL. AND MY EXCUSE WON'T BE NEARLY AS NICE AS YOURS. GODDAMNIT, TONY. WHAT, YOUR STOMACH STILL ? DR. AKAVI ? GLORIA TRILLO, GLOBE MERCEDES. LISTEN, A PRE-OWNED 2001 S-600 JUST CAME IN. YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON I THOUGHT OF. WOOD TRIM PACKAGE, GPS WITH EVERYTHING. ONLY 7500 MILES, I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA LAS T TILL SATURDAY. TOMORROW ? GREAT. NO, I'M SORRY, I CAN'T, WE'RE DOING A SALES MEETING AT LUNCH. OKAY, SEE YA... BYE. ( clearing throat ) YOU WAITING FOR SOMEBODY IN THERE ? I GOT AN APPOINTMENT. DID SHE DOUBLE-BOOK US ? I'M USUALLY THURSDAY, BUT I HAD TO RESCHEDULE BECAUSE OF THE HOLIDAY. THIS IS WHEN I USUALLY COME. I'M TRYING TO QUIT SMOKING. SERIAL KILLER. I MURDERED SEVEN RELATIONSHIPS. ( laughing ) LISTEN, YOU'RE HERE. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE MY APPOINTMENT ? OH, NO, NO, I COULDN'T DO THAT, NO. IT WOULD BE MY GOOD DEED FOR THE DAY. FLAG ON THE PLAY. I'M PRETTY SURE YOU SAID TUESDAY. I DID ? I'LL COME BACK NEXT WE EK AT THE SAME TIME AND... NO PROBLEMO. I TOLD HER SHE COULD HAVE MY APPOINTMENT. ACTUALLY, IT IS A LITTLE DIFFICULT GETTING AWAY FROM WORK. SEE ? I... EN. I COULD SEE YOU TONIGHT AT SEV KS. YEAH, YEAH, THAN OKAY. HOW HARD WAS THAT ? ( phone ) HELLO ? Ro, it's Carm. THIS IS SO TERRIBLE TO DO ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE, BUT I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH MA. WHAT'S THE MATTER ? It's my father. THEY HAD SOME TROUBLING TEST RESULTS. SOMETHING TO DO WITH HIS WHITE BLOOD CELLS. . OH, MY GOD Yeah, I know, uh... They're gonna have to do further testing before they can be sure of the diagnosis. MA JUST WANTS TO HAVE A QUIET THANKSGIVING. SHE SAID THAT THEY WOULD HAVE IT JUST THE TWO OF THEM, BUT-- Y. THEY SHOULD BE WITH THEIR FAMIL I FEEL SO AWFUL GIVING YOU SO LITTLE NOTICE. . DON'T BE SILLY, I JUST WISH THERE WA S SOMETHING I COULD DO Thank you, Ro, that is so sweet. Of course, I'll let you know when I know anything more. OKAY, TAKE CARE, SWEETHEART. BYE. ALRIGHT, BYE-BYE. CARM'S FATHER, HE'S SICK. SHE HAD TO CANCEL THANKSGIVING. IT'S THREE A.M. BAM, COME WIDE AWAKE. SOMETHING SPECIFIC ? IT'S A MANAGEMENT PROBLEM. IT'S A SITUATION WITH AN UNDERLING. NOW, IT'S PARTLY MY FAULT. BUT HE NEVER SHOULD'VE DONE WHAT HE DID. T ? WHAT WAS I ? COULD YOU TELL ME THAT HE CAUSED THE... EARLY RETIREMENT... OF SOMEBODY ELSE. THE PARTICULARS AREN'T IMPORTANT, HE *** UP. ORDINARILY, I WOULD JUST, YOU KNOW... PUT HIM OUT TO PASTURE. BUT HE'S A VERY VALUABLE PIECE OF MANPOWER. ? IS IT COMPLICATED BY A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP I BEEN READING THAT... BOOK YOU TOLD ME ABOUT. "THE ART OF WAR", BY SUN TZU. HERE'S THIS GUY... A CHINESE GENERAL, WROTE THIS THING 2400 YEARS AGO. AND MOST OF IT STILL APPLIES TODAY. BALK THE ENEMY'S POWER. FORCE HIM TO REVEAL HIMSELF. UH, I HAVE TO ASK... ARE YOU IN ANY SORT OF DANGER ? NO, CAN I GO ON ? MOST OF THE GUYS THAT I KNOW, THEY READ PRINCE MACHIAVELLI. I HAD CARMELA GO AND GET THE CLIFF NOTES ONCE... HE'S OKAY. BUT THIS BOOK IS MUCH BETTER ABOUT STRATEGY. LISTEN, I WANTED TO ASK YOU ABOUT THE GIRL. THAT WOMAN THAT WAS HERE TODAY. THE MERCEDES SALESLADY. I'M VERY SORRY ABOUT THE CONFUSION. WHAT DOES SOMEBODY LIKE THAT NEED A SHRINK FOR ? I CAN'T TALK ABOUT ANOTHER PATIENT. JUST... IT MAKES YOU WONDER, THAT'S ALL. ( giggling ) IT'S AFTER HOURS, IT'S DARK. YOU WANT ME TO WALK YOU TO YOUR CAR ? NO, THANK YOU. I HAVE SOME WORK I HAVE TO CATCH UP ON HERE. ( tv chatter ) ANYONE FOR A TURTLE ? HMM ? AARON, HONEY. HEY ! WHAT ? OH. WHO'S WINNING ? LIKE YOU EVEN KNOW WHO'S PLAYIN'. IT SO HAPPENS THAT I DO. DETROIT PLAYS EVERY THANKSGIVING. WHAT A SHAME BARRY SANDERS RETIRED. HE'S A REAL SWEETHEART. A.J., DID YOU TELL YOUR DAD AND YOUR GRANDPA HOW I SERVED HIM WHEN I WAITRESSED AT KENNY ROGER'S ? COLONEL SANDERS. NO, AT KENNY ROGERS, BARRY SANDERS. . YEAH, SH E SERVED HIM ( football announcer chatter ) YES ! HEY. ( Chris ) YEAH ! HEY. HEY. MEADOW, YOU KNOW I LOV E YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD, RIGHT ? DAD, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? I KNOW THINGS HAVEN'T BEEN SO GOOD WITH US LATELY, IT'S JUST... . IF ANYTHING WERE EVE R TO HAPPEN TO YOU.. ( Carmela ) EVERYBODY, COME ON, DINNER ! AD. GO AHE SE. I'LL TELL YOU, THI S TURNED OUT TO BE A BLESSING IN DISGUI MY TWO BOYS... I WAS WORRIED ABOUT THE GRAVY, BUT... RALPH, HONEY, YOU FEEL ALRIGHT ? YOU HARDLY TOUCHED YOUR MANIGOTT'. I'M FINE, CHRIST, PLEASE, HOW MANY TIMES ? JACKIE, HONEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY FOR DESSERT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. ? JESUS CHRI ST, A LITTLE MANNERS, HUH WHAT'D SHE JUST SAY ? Y. IT'S OKA EE WHY DO N'T YOU GO S G ? IF MEADOW WANTS TO GO TO A MOVIE OR SOMETHIN SURE, MA. GOOD DINNER. ( Hugh ) I'LL TELL YA A NIFTY TRICK. BREAK OFF A PIECE OF OHIO KITCHEN MATCH, IN THE SCREW HOLE, GIVE THE THREADS SOMETHING TO GRAB ONTO. YEAH ? 'CAUSE I USED TH E ELMER'S AND TH E *** STILL FELL OUT. FORGET ABOUT IT. NARCOLEPSY IS AN A.S.D.A. CERTIFIED DISSOMNIA. IT'S NO PICNIC. ALMOST TIME FOR TURKEY SANDWICHES ! I'LL PUT MORE COFFEE ON. ( doorbell ) OH, MY GOD, WHO COULD THAT BE ? MA. IT'S THE BOSTON STRANGLER, JESUS, I'LL GET IT. ( Chris ) HEY. HEY ! JACKIE, HI ! I GUESS YOU KNOW EVERYBODY HERE EXCEPT FOR AARON, JANICE'S FRIEND. HEY, AARON. ? HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD NEWS HE IS RISEN. SIT DOWN, WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOME TURKEY SANDWICHES. THANKS, I ALREADY ATE. JUST FIGURED I'D SEE IF MEADOW WANTED TO DO SOMETHING. SEE A MOVIE, WHATEVER. SURE, I MEAN, I WAS GONNA GO OVER TO HUNTER'S. YOU WANNA GO ? WHATEVER. I'LL BE DOWN IN A SEC. A SOPRANO AND AN APRILE. ( Tony ) SO, HOW'S SCHOOL, EVERYTHING GOOD, RIGHT ? YEAH, GPA's UP THIS QUARTER. ? WHY DON'T YOU JUST BAG IT, AND COME TO DOV'S HUNTER'S EXPECTING ME. WE CAN HANG OUT ALL WEEKEND. WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO LIKE DO ANYTHING. I HAVE TO STUDY. DON'T YOU HAVE MIDTERMS TOO ? I DON'T EV EN GO ANYMORE. WHAT ? WHY ? ? ORGANIC CHEMISTRY IT. NUCLEOTIDES AND SH ? YOU WANNA KNOW WHA T I'M INTERESTED IN N. MEN'S FASHIO SS. NOT THE FAGGY PART OF IT, BUT LIKE TO BE HUGO BO DID YOU EVER THINK OF APPLYING TO FIT ? IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD SCHOOL FOR THAT. S. COME ON, COME TO DOV' I WANNA BE WITH YOU SO BAD. I CAN'T, JACKIE. WHAT ? Y ? YOU WON'T GO WITH ME, BUT YOU'D GO WITH THAT BLACK GU IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO GO. I'VE BEEN HURT. JUST GIVE ME SOME TIME, OKAY ? ers ( male on tv ) ... as street corn are heaps of crumbled wrath and masonry. ( female ) ... darling Christmas gift-- ( male ) Three shuttles remain, now-- EM. IT MAKES ME CRAZY, ROSALIE, ALL OF TH THEY'RE ALREAD Y HIRING THE CATERERS. I MEAN, WE WERE YOUNG WHEN WE GOT MARRIED, BUT THOSE TWO ? E. EMOTIONALLY THEY ARE MUCH YOUNGER THAN WE WER , ( male ) ... Until then here's how you'll get your thrills. . The Mercedes-Benz Coups and Convertibles Y. EARTH TO TON I'M THINKING OF GETTING ONE OF THOSE. WHAT, A MERCEDES ? GO AHEAD, IT'S A CUTE CAR. YOU HEAR ? T DISINVITED RALPH TO THANKSGIVING. NO ***. MADONN'. TONY SEES THE BIG PICTURE. OH, LITTLE PAULIE. HEY, TON'. THIS PRICK TREATING YOU OKAY ? NO COMPLAINTS. C'MON, LITTLE PAULIE, EVERYBODY, I'LL BUY YOU AN EGG CREAM. C'MON, SIT DOWN. ... SO ? HOW ARE THINGS GOING OVE R THERE WITH OUR FRIEND THE SAME, YOU KNOW. WHAT'S HE SAYING ABOUT ME ? TO ME ? NOTHING, HE KNOWS BETTER. HE'S STILL BREAKING MY BALLS THOUGH, ABOUT TAKING ORDERS FROM ME. PLUS NOW, WITH YOU AND HIM AND ALL THAT OTHER *** THERE. . IT'S YOUR JOB TO MAKE MY JOB EASIER I'M NOT COMPLAINING, YOU ASKED ME. HE'S A FRUSTRATING GUY. I DON'T KNOW HOW THINGS ARE GONNA GO... . BUT I CAN'T PROMIS E HE'S GONNA GO AWAY IT'S NOT JUST HIM. THIS FREON DEAL. WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MAJOR RENOVATION AT THE HOUSE, I GOT TWO KIDS GETTING READY FOR COLLEGE SOON. HEY, HANG IN THERE , YOU'RE DOING A GOOD JOB. DID YOU SEE THOSE BAGS ? ***' STRESS IS KILLING HIM. AH. YE . MAYBE HE WANTS MY ***' JOB g ( radio announcer ) ... It's a matter of honor this Thanksgivin because everyone a t Texas remembers Turkey Day two years ago... . SURE YOU DON'T WANNA EAT ? I GOT A LITTLE TURKEY LEFT ( Ralphie ) NO, THAN K YOU, DEAR. JOHNNY, PLEASE, DON'T GET UP. I'M OFF TO PHYSICAL THERAPY, HON. USED TO BE SOME HOOFER, POOR THING. TAKES A TERRIBLE TOLL ON THE JOINTS. ? YOU HEARD WHAT HE DI D WITH THANKSGIVING IT'S NOT GOOD, RALPH. WILL YOU PLEASE TELL M E WHAT I DID TO THIS GUY ? TURN DOWN A DRINK ? I WASN'T THIRSTY ! RALPH. EVER SINCE I'M BACK FR OM MIAMI HE'S UP MY *** ! I'M EARNING WITH THREE HANDS HERE, AND IT'S STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO SATISFY THIS *** ! AND THEN HE ***' HITS ME ? N. I'M TELLING YOU, JOH E. HE'S NOT LEAVING ME A LOT OF OPTIONS HER DON'T TALK CRAZY ! YOU WANNA COMMIT SUICIDE, PILLS ARE A LOT EASIER. SAY WHAT DO YOU TH INK CARMINE WOULD S ? IF I WANTED TO SWITCH FAMILIE YS. COME W ITH YOU GU CARMINE DOESN'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. . YOU COULD TELL HIM RALPH, LISTEN TO ME. AS A FRIEND... I KNOW TONY CAN BE DIFFICULT. HIS FATHER WAS THE SAME, HIS UNCLE, THEY ALWAYS NEED SOMEONE TO DEMONIZE. BUT NEW YORK AND THE SOPRANOS HAVE LONG-STANDING TIES AND THAT'S NOT GONNA CHANGE, NOT FOR YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE. YOU WANT ME TO BE FRANK ? YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF WITH THAT GIRL. "A", SHE WAS A ***, "B", SHE HIT ME. NG. AND THAT WASN'T MY KID SHE WAS CARRYI IT WAS THE *** COKE, . I SHOULD'VE NEVER STARTED WITH THAT *** . ***' MIAMI, IT' S ALL OVER THE PLACE JUST TELL ANTHONY YOU'RE SORRY. , I WAS HIGH , I ADMIT IT RE. AND I SWEAR TO CHRIST I'M NOT DOING IT ANYMO "TONY, I'M SORRY." *** THAT, WHAT GOOD WOULD IT DO ? IT MIGHT SAVE YOUR LIFE ! HE HIT ME ! HE WAS WRONG, BELIEVE ME, HE KNOWS. YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING BEHIND MY BACK ? I'LL TALK TO TONY, I'M SURE HE'LL MAKE IT RIGHT. AT THIS POINT, HOW ? I DON'T KNOW. WOULD YOU TAKE CAPO OF YOUR CREW ? NO, NO, I WOULDN'T , NO ***' WAY. RALPH CIFARETTO CAME BY. WHAT'D HE WANT, A FULLY-FUELED JET AND A SAFE TRIP TO THE POPE ? R. HE'S RUNNING SCARED SI NCE YOU CANCELLED THAT DINNE IF YOUR OPPONENT IS OF CHOLERIC TEMPER, IRRITATE HIM. , YEAH, WELL HE WANTS TO APOLOGIZE. OH, REALLY ? ? WOULD THAT P UT THIS TO REST IF IT'S SINCERE. IT MIGHT RELIEVE ME OF A VERY UNPLEASANT DECISION. E. YOU KNOW, THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK GROUND ON THE ESPLANAD WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MILLIONS OF DOLLARS HERE, TONY. RE IT WOULDN'T HURT EITHER OF TO HAVE A POINT MAN IN THE FEELS APPRECIATED. I'M JUST SAYING. IT WOULDN'T HURT TO THROW HIM A BONE. LIKE WHAT ? CAPO ? NO ***' WAY. NEVER. YOU HEARD WHAT HE DID. THAT POOR GIRL JUST HAD HER 20th BIRTHDAY. CAPO'S WHAT HE MENTIONED. I THREW COLD WATER ON IT RIGHT AWAY. BUT SHE WAS A ***, TONY. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT SITUATION EVER AGAIN, WITH ANYBODY. YOU UNDERSTAND ME ? IT WAS JUST A SUGGESTION, P. KEEP A HAPPY SHO CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WEREN'T GONNA STICK YOUR BEAK IN ? CAN'T TWO FRIENDS TALK ? ( Johnny ) I talked to him, he's delighted you wanna see him. GREAT, HE SAID THAT ? THAT'S GREAT. That's ***' great news. WHAT'D I TELL YOU ? LISTEN, THE OTHER THING, WHAT'S HE GONNA DO TO MAKE THAT RIGHT ? JUST TALK TO HIM. HE INDICATED HE'S VERY OPEN TO WORKING SOMETHING OUT. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. ANYTHING ! THANK YOU, THANK YOU. OH, FABIAN ! THE *** YOU DOING UP BEFORE NOON ? , I'M MOVING OUT OVER TO DOV'S. BEANIE BOY ? YEAH, HIS RESERVE UNIT IN ISRAEL GOT CALLED UP. GOD BLESS AMERICA, HUH ? LISTEN, YOU FIND YOURSELF SHORT ON X, I KNOW A GUY. X ? WHAT ? I'M TRYING TO DO YOU A FAVOR. AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, THAT *** YOUR FUTURE FATHER-IN-LAW PULLED OVER THANKSGIVING, HE KNEW I HAD NO INTENTION OF GOING OVER THERE. HE'S TRYING TO SAVE FACE. SO HE STOOPS SO LOW, HE HAD HIS WIFE LIE TO YOUR MOTHER. WHATEVER YOU NEED, GIVE ME A CALL. BE GOOD. THE WOMAN IS 50 YEARS OLD. SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO SCREAM IN HER FACE, "QUIT WHINING, NO WONDER HE LEFT YOU !" HER SUPERVISOR LOOKS AT HER CROSS-EYED AND I GET A CALL AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING. SHE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT HOW HER FATHER LAUGHED AT HER WHEN SHE FELL OFF HER BICYCLE WHEN SHE WAS SEVEN. ? DOES SHE CALL YO UR EMERGENCY NUMBER NO, THAT'S NOT THE POINT, ELLIOT ! OH, THESE ***' INTERRUPTIONS ! I WAS ***. ? YOU HAVE FEELINGS OF Y OUR OWN AND WHO IS LISTENING THAT'S RIGHT, DAMNIT. I HAVE TO SIT THERE AND TAKE CARE OF THESE PEOPLE HOUR AFTER HOUR WITH ALL THEIR PROBLEMS... AND SOME OF THEM ARE VERY REAL AND VERY SERIOUS, AND I'M SORRY, I CARE, I REALLY DO... BUT IT'S HARD SOMETIMES. I JUST WANT TO SAY, "I HURT !" . GOOD, SURE THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE. I'M SORRY, ELLIOT. NO NEED TO BE SORRY. YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SUCH TRAUMA. IT TAKES TREMENDOUS STRENGTH OF WILL AND INNER RESOURCE TO SOLDIER ON AS YOU DO AT YOUR WORK. THANK YOU, ELLIOT. I TRY, I REALLY DO. IT'S JUST HARD SOMETIMES. AND PATIENT SOPRANO ? HOW'S ALL THAT ? HE OFFERED TO ESCORT ME TO MY CAR. I ALMOST FELL IN HIS ARMS CRYING. OH, JESUS CHRIST. ( door opening ) CHRIS. PAULIE. RALPHIE. ( clearing throat ) YOU WANTED TO SEE ME ? YEAH, TONY. ABOUT WHAT ? ABOUT WHAT ? YOU KNOW... TO APOLOGIZE. OH. SIT DOWN ? I WAS DOING A LOT OF COKE. I SAID SOME THINGS AND I DID SOME THINGS... THAT I'M SORRY FOR. IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN. WHAT'D YOU DO ? I WAS RUDE WHEN YOU OFFERED ME THE DRINK. AND I DISRESPECTED "THE BING". AND THE GIRL... THAT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED. LIKE I SAID, I WAS DOING A LOT OF COKE. BUT I GAVE THAT UP, AND... END OF STORY, AND... I'M SORRY, TONY, OKAY ? ANYTHING ELSE ? HEY. WHAT'S UP, GI ? HEY, GI. MY WIFE MADE SOME TURKEY SANDWICHES IF ANYBODY WANTS ONE. I'M STILL A LITTLE BLOATED FROM THANKSGIVING. THANKSGIVING, 1982. *** TURKEY, IT'S LIKE SPACKLE IN MY BOWELS. S. NOTHING MOVE WANT ME TO RUN TO RITE AIDS AND GET YOU SOME METAMUCIL ? NAH, I HAT E THAT ***. MAYBE I'LL TRY ONE WITH LETTUCE AND CRANBERRY. ? RALPH AROUND NOT YET. L ? WANT ME TO GIVE HIM A CAL ? PLEASE, LET'S JUST ENJOY THE QUIET, HUH ( female on tv ) After decades of planning, ground was broken today ( doorbell ) 's on the city of Newark, New Jersey de. Museum of Science and Trucking, and Riverfront Esplana ( female ) OH, HI, RALPHIE. C'MON IN, HE'S WATCHING TV. mes ... the project was held up several ti g-- by political infightin NOTHING, HE GAVE ME NOTHING. . TWO SECONDS, LOOK, THE *** G ESPLANADE, FINALLY WE'RE GONNA NEED OUR OWN BULLDOZERS TO TAKE THE MONEY AWAY. NOT A THING, JOHN. NOT A THANK YOU, NOT AN APOLOGY, NOTHING ! CALM DOWN, TAKE IT EASY. HE LET ME STAND THERE LIKE A SERVANT... SCRAPING, BOWING ! *** DIDN'T EVEN INVITE ME TO SIT DOWN. E. IT'S POSTURING, IT'S PART OF THE GAM *** THE GAME, HE'S GOING DOWN. ARE YOU *** STUPID COMING IN HERE TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT ? I DON'T GIVE A *** ANYMORE ! I'VE GIVEN MY LIFE TO THIS THING AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET ?! ( knocking ) ( male ) IT'S SILVIO DANTE ON THE PHONE. YOU WANNA TALK TO HIM ? K. ( Gigi ) TELL HIM I 'LL CALL HIM BAC ( female ) They're my children. e-- ( male ) You seriously cannot b ( door opening ) ( female ) I'm so sorry ! YOU SHUT THE DOOR ? JESUS CHRIST, YOU'RE WORSE THAN BOBBY. ANYBODY SEE YOU COME IN ? YEAH. *** 'EM. I DON'T GIVE A *** ANYMORE. BROUGHT YOU SOME LEFTOVER TURKEY AND STUFFING, MANIGOTT'. KEEP IT. EVERYTHING GOES THROUGH ME. CA. AND THESE DRAFTS, I SHOULD BE DOWN IN BO DRAFTS ? IT'S LIKE THE *** AMAZON JUNGLE IN HERE. WHAT'S THE THERMOSTAT SAY ? DON'T TOUCH IT ! ALRIGHT. JESUS. . ( male on tv ) You're scaring t he hell outta me here The though t of losing you. GRANDPA, DID HE EVER WORK FOR SOMEBODY NAMED TRILLO ? HE OWNED A LUMBERYARD ? MY FATHER WAS A MASTER STONEMASON, HE NEVER CUT *** WOOD. ? A CONTRACTOR THEN BUILT GARDEN APARTMENTS ? THERE WAS SOMEBODY NAMED TRILLO, HE HAD SEVEN DAUGHTERS. I CAN'T REMEMBER. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA ASK MY ADVICE ABOUT RALPH CIFARETTO. ? GOT ANY THOUGHTS WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE LEFT ? A REAL CONTREMPS YOU HAVE ON YOUR HANDS HERE. A GOOD KID, BUT YOU NEVER SHOULD'VE PUT GIGI IN THERE. HE'S STRONG, A GOOD EARNER, WELL RESPECTED. NOT BY THAT CREW. TO THEM HE'S A GHIBELLINE COMING OVER TO BUTT IN. THEY DON'T TRUST HIM, THEY UNDERMINE HIM. ON TOP OF THAT, YOU GOT RALPH NOW *** IN THEIR EARS. ANY DAY YOU'LL HAVE A MUTINY ON YOUR HANDS. SO, I TAKE GIGI OUT, WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE DOES THAT SEND ? THAT YOU'RE INDECISIVE AND UNSURE OF YOURSELF. EXACTLY. WHO THE *** WOULD I REPLACE HIM WITH ANYWAY ? ALL GOOD QUESTIONS. GREAT, WHAT'S THE ***' ANSWER ? WHO SAYS THERE IS ONE ? THAT'S WHAT BEING A BOSS IS, YOU STEER THE SHIP THE BEST WAY YOU KNOW. SOMETIMES IT'S SMOOTH, SOMETIMES YOU HIT THE ROCKS. IN THE MEANTIME, YOU FIND YOUR PLEASURES WHERE YOU CAN. ( knocking ) HOW MUCH LONGER, SKIP ? I GOTTA TAKE A LEAK ! HOLY JESUS. WHAT THE *** ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT ? CALL 911. I DON'T FEEL A PULSE. RY. ( male ) I'M SO SOR Y. I'M SORR THANK YOU, TONY. HE WAS A GOOD MAN. NEVER SAID A BAD WORD ABOUT ANYBODY. THANK YOU, TONY. ( female ) I'M SO SORRY. IT'S ***' AWFUL. HE'S A YOUNG MAN. HEART DISEASE... THE SILENT KILLER. GO. HEY, THERE ARE WORSE WAYS TO EVEN STILL, ON THE PISCIADOOD ? PRETTY ***' HUMILIATING. IT'S HOW ELVIS DIED. O. THAT GUY IN HOLLYWOOD TO G. DON SOMETHIN . PRODUCER O F "THE SIMPSONS" SO, THERE' S A VACANCY. THERE'S A LOT OF BUSINESS TO DO. YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHO IT'S GONNA BE ? TERRIBLE, IT'S A TERRIBLE THING. GUY WAS IN HERE TWICE A WEEK. BROUGHT THE KIDS IN AND EVERYTHING ON SUNDAYS. ARTIE, HEY, TON'. R. I GOTTA GO ROTATE MY PORK SHOULDE YOU WANTED TO SEE ME ? SIT DOWN. I'M MAKING YOU CAPTAIN. YOU ARE ? THAT'S GREAT. OH, THAT'S ***' GREAT. ANTHONY, YOU'RE NO T GONNA BE SORRY. THANK YOU. WHAT ? I NEED TO HEAR IT WAS MERIT, AND NOT JUST 'CAUSE SOMEBODY WAS CONSTIPATED AND BLEW A GASKET. YOU'RE GONNA BE MAKING A LOT MORE MONEY, RALPHIE, SO, DON'T QUESTION. YOU WANTED CAPTAIN ? YOU'RE CAPTAIN. THANK YOU, TONY, YOU'RE RIGHT. I'VE WANTED THIS SO ***' LONG. WELL... YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR, YOU JUST MIGHT GET IT. SO, UM... WE GONNA HAVE A DRINK TOGETHER OR WHAT ? ( rap music playing ) WHAT'S THIS *** I HEAR ABOUT TONY HAVING A FIGHT WITH RALPH CIFARETTO ? SOMETHING ABOUT THANKSGIVING ? I WAS THERE. WHAT, AT TONY'S ? WOW, ON THANKSGIVING ? . AFTER DINNER, TO TAKE MEADOW OUT DID YOU *** HER YET ? PE. HER BODY IS MAD RI YEAH, BUT DID YOU *** HER YET ? SHE'S CREAMIN' FOR ME, MAN. YOU DIDN'T *** HER YET. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S EVEN A SMART THING. SHE'S TONY SOPRANO'S DAUGHTER. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. ( female ) SEE YA. JACKIE, C'MON, VASSAR, THAT BAND. . C'MON, DOUBL E OR NOTHING . YEAH, RACK 'EM YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA TAKE ME. GO SIT DOWN. HA, HA, HA. AT. ***' BR MEADOW ! GODDAMNIT ! ( engine starting ) HEY, NO ! ( horn honking ) MEADOW ! OH, MY GOD, ***, MEADOW ! JACKIE ! T ? JESUS, MEADOW, ARE YOU ALRIGH I THINK SO. EA SY. OW ! ? WHAT'S THE MATTER MY PURSE IS STUCK. T ? YOU GU YS ALRIGH WE'RE FINE. WE'RE TOTALLY FINE, NOBODY GOT HURT. BLEW A TIRE. BUT YOUR CAR... N. *** THE CAR, I' LL CALL IT IN STOLE OH, MY GOD, JACKIE, I AM SO SORRY ! AS LONG AS YOU'RE OKAY. T. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD'VE DONE IF YOU WOULD'VE GOT HUR YOU ALMOST DIED. I'M SO SORRY. I SHOULD'VE TAKEN YOU TO VASSAR LIKE YOU WANTED. BUT YOU LOVED THAT CAR. HT. IT'S ALRIG COME ON, LET'S GET YOU HOME. NO... I WANNA GO WITH YOU. YOU SURE ? ( chattering ) AND WE COULD MATCH UP... .. ( female ) WELL, THAT SOUNDS GOOD. I'LL GIVE YOU MY CARD. I'LL BE HERE AT 10:00. OKAY ? NICE TO MEET YOU. NICE MEETING YOU. HEY. IT'S YOU. .. I HAD MY EYE ON. ONE OF THESE. YOU HAVE GOOD TASTE. ? MIND IF I TAKE IT FOR A TEST DRIVE YOU HAVE TO BE ACCOMPANIED BY A SALES REP. ? ANYBODY AVAILABLE DALE ? YEAH. I'M GOING OUT. 600. THANKS. THANK YOU. MM-HMM. ( engine starting ) ( phone ) HELLO ? Jennifer it's Gloria Trillo. I'm really sorry, but I can't make it today. EVERYTHING ALRIGHT ? YEAH, YEAH, FINE. RS. ALL THEY HAD WAS WINE COOLE WELL... I'M GLAD YOU CALLED. Do you want to reschedule ? NO, IT'S OKAY, I'LL JUST SEE YOU NEXT WEEK AT THE REGULAR TIME. OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. ♪ I DON'T HAVE AS MANY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ BECAUSE I'M NOT AS PRETTY AS I WAS ♪ ♪ I'VE KICKED MYSELF AT TIMES BECAUSE I'M NOT ♪ ♪ SO I WILL HAVE TO LEARN TO STAND MY GROUND ♪ ♪ I'LL TELL HIM I WON'T BE AROUND ♪ ♪ I'LL MOVE ON OVER TO YOUR TOWN ♪ ♪ AND HIDE ♪ ♪ AND YOU BE THE CAPTAIN ♪ ♪ AND I'LL BE NO ONE ♪ ♪ AND YOU CAN CARRY ME AWAY ♪ ♪ IF YOU WANT TO ♪ ♪ AND YOU CAN LAY LOW ♪ ♪ JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER ♪ ♪ AND IF I TREAD UPON YOUR FEET ♪ ♪ YOU JUST SAY SO ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE CAPTAIN, I AM NO ONE ♪ ♪ I TEND TO FEEL AS THOUGH I OWE ONE TO YOU ♪ ♪ TO YOU ♪ ♪ I HAVE HANDED ALL MY EFFORTS IN ♪ ♪ SEARCHED HERE FOR MY SECOND WIND ♪ ♪ IS THERE SOMEWHERE HERE TO LET ME IN ♪ ♪ I ASKED ♪ ♪ SO I SLAMMED THE DOORS THEY SLAMMED AT ME ♪ ♪ I FOUND THE PLACE I'M MEANT TO BE ♪ ♪ I FIGURED OUT MY DESTINY ♪ ♪ AT LAST ♪ ♪ IF YOU BE THE CAPTAIN ♪ ♪ AND I'LL BE NO ONE ♪ ♪ AND YOU CAN CARRY ME AWAY ♪ ♪ IF YOU WANT TO ♪ Captions Copyright 2001 HOME BOX OFFICE ♪ AND YOU CAN LAY LOW ♪ . A Division of TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P ♪ JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER ♪ Captioned by HBO COMMUNICATIONS CENTER