The Daily Show - Back in black - Getting out the millennial vote

When a news story falls through the cracks, our very own Lewis Black catches it with a segment we call Back in Black. -♪ ♪ -(cheering, applause) Well, the election is only a month away, and with the fate of the world at stake, I've been going to church a lot to pray that a meteor will hit the earth and kill us all. Why? Because I've got no faith in you people. In 2012, only 55% of the electorate went to the polls. More Americans saw Taken 2 that year. And the whole plot is right there in the title. Someone gets taken. Again! But this year, with a decorative hate squash just steps from the White House, I thought surely more people would go out and vote. Both Republican and Democratic voters this election season have said they don't plan to vote for either candidate. Oh, no, I'm not voting at all. I don't like either of 'em. -REPORTER: Will you be voting? -Uh, no. I am not voting. I don't think anybody's qualified. No one is qualified? Since when has that mattered? Listen, jerk, this isn't like deciding not to go to the movies because they all suck. Fact is, we're gonna have to see a movie whether we like it or not. And that movie's gonna be four years long. And you better hope it's not the one that ends with Trump nuking Wisconsin. But it's not just apathy keeping voters from the polls. It's also laziness, because, apparently, voting is too hard. (cries) It's very hard to get people to the polling booth, because, you know what, it's a lot of trouble. I'm not voting in 2016 unless it's easy for me to get to the voting polls. Boo-hoo. It's too hard. You want me to go somewhere and pull a lever? Why can't I vote the same way I date-- by swiping right on the toilet? Look, I don't want to hang out in a high school gymnasium. Well, truth be told, I'm not even allowed within 200 feet of one. But I fight off the cops and I do my civic duty. What's it gonna take to get you people to vote? Hell, we've got A-list celebrities going down on you. On Tuesday, November 8, this country will make one of the most important... The most important... The most important decisions in its history. You have a chance. You have an obligation. To be a part of that decision. Vote. There. That's not enough? Or does the Rock need to personally give you a piggyback to the polls? Now, most of these ads are the same thing, just a bunch of celebrities talking directly to the camera, telling you to vote. Look at some of the nobodies they get to shame you into going to the polls! (cheering and applause) Oh, yeah, that's why I'm gonna vote-- because Don Lemon told me to. I kid, of course. I know that's Bryant Gumbel. (chuckles) Come on, Millennials! I know we (bleep)ed things up for you, but we were counting on you to fix things, not finish the job! Is there nothing you people care about enough to get off your *** and vote? Are you gonna vote for marijuana? It's on the ballot in November. Uh, yeah, I am planning on it. And what about for president? Are you gonna vote for president? (chuckles) That's a tough one. So you think you'll vote for weed -and not for president? -Yeah. Recreational legalization's on the ballot. -Are you gonna go out and vote for that? -Yes, yes, yes. And are you gonna vote for president as well? Uh, no. Why choose? Why not vote for weed to be president? At least then, if this country goes down in flames, we'll all get a nice contact high. On the other hand, if Trump gets elected, weed's not gonna help. You're gonna need a (bleep) anesthetic! And by anesthetic, I mean a suppository about this big that I'm gonna shove up each and every one of your ***! (cheering and applause) So... so listen, you dip(bleep)s! Vote, or I'm gonna track your *** down! (cheering and applause) Back to you, Bryant.