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- Hey, Donna. - Oh, hey. You look stressed. Work is a disaster. - Hey. - Hi. - What's wrong? - Well, I'm swamped, thanks to you. I'll get you some coffee, okay? Oh, thanks, to go please. Well, Camille's been completely worthless ever since you broke up with her. So I just told her to take the week off. She was scaring away the customers. Yeah, she'll get over it. Mitch, on the other hand, holds me responsible for the way you burned him. That's ridiculous. Maybe, but you remember the Macy Gray tickets he promised me? [WHlSTLES] - Gone. - There you go. - Thanks. - You all right? Oh, yeah. - Weren't they third row centre? - Backstage passes. Yeah, and I thought you cared. Ha, ha. Yeah, imagine that, me not putting your needs first. I know, I was a little disappointed. I'll make it up to you. How about dinner and a movie? - Who gets to pick the movie? - Do I get to pick the restaurant? - No Thai. - You're a pain, you know that? - I know. MATT: All I'm saying is that it could be fun. KELLY: I like Seattle, but living there? People have been known to enjoy it. Mm. I just never considered it. But if the job that you're being offered is great-- Might be offered, might be offered. Nothing definite. You said that someone from law school recommended you for it. Jack, yup. Great guy. Hmm. And did out of the blue, no prompting? Yeah. - Because if you had called him - Which I didn't. I'd be a little annoyed because big decisions like this we should talk about. You know, when you get righteous like this, it's a big, big turn on. It is. - Hey. - Excuse me. Um, Dylan, wait a second. We want to talk to you. About what? - Uh, we've set a date for our wedding. - Glad to hear it. August 1 2th, telling everyone now so you can set aside the day. Yeah, well, I have a dentist appointment that afternoon. Dylan, I want you to be there. We both do. I'll see what I can do. Well, he was enthusiastic. Forget him. Let's go tell everyone else. Okay. You know, I really like that story about the rabbit who rose from the dead. That was true, every bit of it true. But my personal favourite's got to be the leprechaun of Beverly Hills. Oh, meet the author of that tall tale, Janet Sosna. - Nice to meet you. - I'm Charles Yoffee. I'm a big fan. You don't write down to your material. That's not easy to do. Oh, I'll say. You wanted to talk to us. Why don't we sit down? Great. You know, I'll just get right to it. - Okay. CHARLES: Ahem. I wanna buy the Beat. [LAUGHS] It's not for sale. Neither were my other six papers before I bought them. Here, I've written down a figure that I think you'll find is more than fair. - Why The Beat? - I'm from New York. All my holdings are back there. I need a foothold in Los Angeles. If you're in New York, who's gonna run the paper here? Typically, I consolidate at the management level but leave editorial alone. - That means--? - That means you go but she stays. For a year or there's no deal. Look, it's nothing personal. I just don't need two publishers on the paper. But I do need editorial continuity. I don't know. I understand. It's a big decision. Look, think it over. I'll be in touch. [SlGHS] Janet, uh, are there as many zeroes there as I think there are? Mm-hm. Breathe. No, all I'm saying is that when I saw you and David this morning together, you looked happy. No, you said we looked happy together. It wasn't an accusation. I know you think I should tell David how I feel but [SlGHS] You didn't wanna be the reason he broke up with Camille. I understood that. But now he's free, I don't see why you wouldn't. Oh. Here, l, uh, think any of these bridesmaid dresses would be perfect. - Did you hear what I said? - Yes. You think I should risk ruining a very important friendship on a rebound affair. Maybe we should stick to the dresses. Well, ugh, you look. I'm gonna get some coffee. Donna. Hi, sweetie. Can you sit with me for a minute? Yeah, um, that skirt you ordered, it's not in yet. Oh, I forgot all about it. I wanted to talk to you about the house. I've put it on the market. You're gonna sell it? Yeah, it's just too big for me all by myself. There's too many memories. Where would you go? I don't know, a condo. - A condo? - Or an apartment. Well, you live in an apartment. I'm sorry, I mean, I know I haven't lived there in years but it's home. I know, sweetie. And that made it a really hard decision. But it's what I wanna do. NOAH: You wanna talk about it? What's there to talk about? We were gonna see Caitlin and now we're not. I'm sure your mom had a good reason for cancelling. How about she doesn't trust me? You're in recovery, you're committed to it. No way she doesn't see that. She's seen it before. Caitlin is your daughter. Okay, if you want to take care of her, she won't stand in your way. - I cannot let her down again. - You won't. No, you don't understand. I can't. Okay, why do you drink? I don't know. I say it's out of guilt. You know, you're guilty because you're not a better mom. Just be in Caitlin's life, the guilt will go away and all the temptation. Trust me, okay? [DANCE MUSlC PLAYlNG] Okay, here are the pluses. More money. More time with Maddy. And more time for you to come up with your next genius venture. Okay, here are the minuses now. Less time together. More work for you. This whole Mr. Mom thing for me. I thought that spending more time with Maddy was on the plus side? Well, it is. It's balanced against this image of me wearing the apron in the family and-- Steve, we wouldn't even be considering this offer if it wasn't for you. The tabloid was your idea. The cheesiness, the horrifically invasive profiles. If it were up to me, we'd still be doing emotionally honest, factually correct, objectively interesting stories. Thanks. I feel a lot better now. Because of you our circulation tripled, okay? Because of you, we have a shot at being financially secure. I'd say you did right by us. Thanks. [SlGHS] So do you wanna sell it? Well, selling the paper's gonna take a lot of time. And while they're drawing up the contracts and contingencies, I think we should give it a shot. Yeah, if we don't like the way the sale's going before it's finalised-- - We just don't go through with it. - Yeah. - Let's do it. - Okay. - Cheers. - Cheers. - Hey. MATT: Uh - Pull up a chair. - I thought I would. - Okay. - Just so you know, - I've, uh, cleared the date. - Good. Yeah, I have the happy day circled in red on my calendar. We're glad you'll be there. Ahem. Since you set the date, it got me to thinking. It's a wedding gift. Thanks. Well, it's something I know you've always wanted to do. Who knows, maybe you'll like it too. What? What is that? - Ahem. Plane tickets. - To where? I don't know, they're open-ended. A trip around the world? Is that what this is? Guy doesn't go for understatement, - does he? - Mm-mm. Kelly, is this something you want? It was, once, but not anymore. DONNA: My mom's selling her house. [DAVlD GRUNTS] Wow. You wanna talk about it? [SlGHS] I'm happy for her. I know it's a good thing that she's moving on but Donna, I understand that it's hard. I mean, you know, it was the house you grew up in. It sounds so ridiculous but I just feel like if she sells the house, I'm gonna lose part of my childhood. That's not ridiculous. I just-- I have all these moments there. My dad putting a swing up in the tree in the front yard for me. My dad turning the attic into this gigantic playroom. And the way my mom always decorated the house for Christmas. Yeah, I remember your mom's tree selection was, uh, never very restrained. She always said, "The taller the tree, the closer the angel is to heaven.' Heh. You guys had the most ridiculously amazing ornaments. Ha. All homemade. Heh. My favourite was this little clothespin reindeer that I made. I just hate the thought of not spending another Christmas in that house. What do you say we just hang out here tonight, all right? Order a pizza and, uh, channel surf. - Yeah, heh. - Yeah? - I would really like that. - Good, all right. On two conditions. Conditions, right. Let me guess. First one being, of course, control of the remote, right? - Of course. Ha-ha-ha. - And? And l, um I would just like to sit this way just for a little while. Yeah. Okay, Maddy, this is what adults call the power breakfast. We have your Coco Nuts. We have heavily-buttered toast and we have chocolate chip muffins. - Ooh, thank you. - You're welcome. Hi. Here. - Thank you. - Mm-hm. Is Daddy gonna fill you with empty calories today? Huh? Is that what he's gonna do? Pick up dry cleaning, drop off film to be developed. Oh, that reminds me. We are out of floss. - Floss? - I like the unwaxed mint variety. Sure you haven't forgotten anything? Look, number 1 4, castrate husband. Steve, we agreed to try this. But if at any time before the sale, you feel like you're masculinity is being threatened, we just drop out, okay? You've got a little spit-up on your shoulder. Don't you have some bacon to bring home? Yes. I've gotta go, I'm very busy. - You sure you gonna be okay? - Yeah. A little windsurfing, maybe some batting cages later. - We'll be all right. - Okay. Bye, pumpkin. - Bye, baby. - Bye. [DONNA GROANS] Hey. - Good morning. - Good morning. How did you sleep? [DAVlD GROANS] All right, considering I didn't have much space. - You? I'm crushed. - Ha, ha. [SlGHS] Oh, so did you stay up for the movie? No, but I stayed up a little longer than you did. Did I ever tell you why I decided not to take that radio job in New York? No, you didn't. The more I thought about what I'd miss by moving, the more I thought about you. I'm glad you stayed. Really? Yeah. What? We-- We can't do this. Not yet. Not Not without really thinking things through first. All right, let's think about it. How much do you need my friendship right now? A lot. Because I am completely dependent on our friendship for everything. I mean, you're my go-to person. Dating traumas and work problems. And when my dad died, I don't think I could have made it without you. And one kiss would change that? Maybe not. Maybe it would make things better. But it would be a lot riskier and if us being together didn't work out-- You're right, then us being friends wouldn't work out either. Not for a while anyway. And I don't wanna risk losing that. Not even for a day. Well, then you don't have to. - So Noah owns his own business. - Oh. Well, it's a nightclub, it's called the After Dark. It's in Beverly Hills. A nightclub. Yeah, I'm also in AA. That's how we met. She's doing really well. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. Three whole weeks. She, uh, looks like a great kid. She's remarkable, that's what she is. She's lucky to have you, you know. Both of you. Hey, Caitlin, you wanna go on the swing? Will you push me real high? Ha, ha. Yeah, as high as you want. Is it okay? Sure, sweetie, go ahead. All right, let's go. This is gonna be fun. MARlON: So you met this one in AA. - What's AA? What? I heard you say - that's where you met Mommy. - Ha-ha-ha. Well, that's a place where adults go and talk. About what? Um. Well, you know, about a lot of things. - Noah. - Yeah? What do they talk about? Well, they talk about how much they love their kids. - Swing me higher. - Okay, you ready? Here we go. - Whee! - Yeah. Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. DONNA: Oh, no problem. - How fabulous would I look in that? - I have an idea. Wear it to the wedding, tell David how you feel. Maybe it will end your career as bridesmaid. I, uh, already told David how I feel. - This morning. - And? And he feels the same way. Oh, my God, Donna, that's great. So you guys are back together? No. I mean, it's great but we're not together. - Why not? - Because we're friends. - And we just wanna keep it that way. - Oh, okay, that is messed up. - What is? - Nothing, nothing. Oh, come on, try me. Um, your gift to me and Matt. A trip around the world. Isn't that just so sweet? I have this sudden urge for cherry pie now. Now I want cherry. Excuse me. [DYLAN CLEARS THROAT] - Hi. - Hi. I thought we were past all this. After that whole thing with your dad, it seemed like we were finally just friends. You're just really difficult to shop for. If it was meant as some sort of reminder of the good old days, they weren't so good. Well, I think we both know better than that. But it was meant as a gift and if you're reading any more into it than that, that should be telling me something. Yeah, it does. That we would both be better off if you left me alone. [SlGHS] [KNOCKlNG ON DOOR] - Oh, thank God. - Hi. - Take, take. - What? - Uh-- STEVE: Ugh. Steve, this isn't a dirty diaper moment is it? STEVE: Oh, worse. It's worse? Steve, what's worse? I went to the cleaners, the hardware store, the grocery store, twice. I changed her three times. I put her shoes back on six times. And I wrenched my back getting her out of the car seat. Unh, ugh! She doesn't bite. And I thought you were the baby in the family. - Ha-ha-ha. - You know, Steve, it's 3:00. Shouldn't you be somewhere? Well, we've got this Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear reading group at 4::00 but I don't know. I'm thinking she might need a nap. I meant the office. Oh, well, experimenting with this whole stay-at-home dad thing. Oh, ha-ha-ha. Finally, something educational. Oh, her first exposure to violence on TV. This is a proud moment. Oh, before I forget, Janet wanted me to tell you she's got someone to fix you up with. Not interested. Really? Oh, that's too bad. From what I hear, she sounds perfect. No such thing as perfect. All except for you, right? - All right, how perfect? - Perfect. You mind if I kick my shoes off? [LAUGHS] I know it's none of my business and you're gonna do whatever you want. But? But if you don't get together with David, - I'm gonna have to hurt you. - Ha-ha-ha. I told you our friendship is too important to me to risk. On what? Being happy? Honestly, I do not understand your thinking. Ugh, ha, ha. What was that about today with you and Dylan? Oh, we were talking about you and David. Oh, that's great. Now we're talking about you and Dylan. So did you guys straighten things out? - Ha. As much as we ever do. - Which is not at all. That is not my fault. I am very clear with him about what I want. Were you being clear with him when you proposed three months ago? I did that to push him away. Oh, so to push him away, you asked him to marry you? - Is there a point here? - Heh. Yes, yes. My point is that I like Matt. I love Matt. - I want Matt to be your husband. - But? But I just think if you and Dylan don't completely straighten things out, neither of you are ever going to be truly happy. The names' Durning, Matt Durning, attorney at law. [CHUCKLES] - What do you think? - Mm, I think it's a little small. Wait a minute. Wait a minuto. No, don't even think about it. One of these with a velour tux and me serenading you. [SlNGS] Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa Or we could elope. Saving you from your peculiar fascination with lounge acts. Well, as you wish. We have the tickets. Actually, we don't. I, um-- I told Dylan we weren't interested. Oh, really? How did he take it? Same as he did five years ago when I turned down his last around-the-world offer. You know, I was serious about wanting to move. Did you hear about the job yet? No, not yet. But I think we should start over, just us. You do know that you're asking me to turn my life upside down. I know. I'm not sure I'm ready to do that. I'm not sure I want you being offered trips around the world every five years. - It won't be like that. - Not if we move. Look, I know I'm asking a lot. But I want you to really think about this, for me. Will you do that? Of course I will. Come on, we have to get going. Okay. Hey. What, uh-- What are you doing? You said you had to go by your mom's house and tag the stuff you wanted. Yeah, but I mean I can do it later. Well, I'm busy later. I just didn't think you wanted to do it alone. I don't. So let's go. Thanks for this. [KNOCKlNG ON DOOR] - Hi. - Hello. Um, Ellen told me to meet her here. Well, you can come in and wait, if you've got the time. - Did she say she was running late? - Shh. - Caitlin's napping. - Oh, right, sorry. Did she tell you when she'd be here? Uh, yeah, I think I pencilled it in. Huh, no. I know she'll be here. Because right now, she's trying her best. - I know. - Then why fight her about Caitlin? Because that child needs consistency. And that's what Ellen wants to give her. Sure she does, today. Now I think she deserves more credit than that. That's because you weren't around the last three times she committed to Caitlin. And how do you know this time isn't different? I don't. And I didn't when the last two men in her life asked me the same question. Look, I love my daughter but right now my main concern is Caitlin. Do you have any idea where Ellen is? Yeah, and so do you. Just tell her I stopped by. [SlGHS] I'm not ready for this. We'll be in and out in ten minutes. I haven't been inside since my dad died. [LAUGHS] I don't want my mom to sell the house but l-- I can't even go inside it. How messed up is that? You ready? [PEOPLE LAUGHlNG] KELLY: Oh, the tinsel is in the way. MATT: No, it's good, though. I think it's good. [LAUGHS] MATT: Well, I mean, we can balance that. What's going on in here? There you are. Finally, we're decorating the tree. What do you think? Too much tinsel? [LAUGHS] Come and help. I remember you saying, uh, Christmas was your favourite time here so we thought we'd give you one last one. You didn't have to do this. That's what I kept telling David but he said we did. And you know, he was right. So you gonna hang it or what? - Come on. - Come on. [LAUGHlNG] I love this. What did I miss? - The usual, group hug. - Aw, that's nice. What is that? Oh, it's a beer hat. When you're watching the game, and you don't wanna run back to the kitchen for a refill. Ahem. Why are you wearing it? I was feeding Maddy. Ale or lager? Very funny, Dylan, but meanwhile, she gets her milk and I get to keep my hands free. I'm actually thinking of applying for a patent. MATT: Put the big one right there. - How's that? - It looks like it's slouching. We can't have a slouching angel. - Need some help? DAVlD: No. Oh, that poor child. - I'll be right back. DAVlD: Okay, how's that? - Perfect. FELlCE: Great. KELLY: Perfect. FELlCE: Okay. KELLY: Oh, the tinsel is in the way. At first I thought you were gonna tell Kelly about what happened with Amy. And when you didn't, I thought, okay, maybe you were a stand-up guy. I'm sensing you revised your opinion. Trip around the world? Come on, isn't that a little obvious, even for you? No, I was just trying to be generous. You wanna be generous? Get us one of those place settings that we registered for. Or one of those fish forks. Fish fork? Okay. Here's how I figure it. You didn't tell Kelly about what happened because you care about her and you don't wanna see her hurt. And because you know that she and I are very happy together. - You figured that out all by yourself? - Ha-ha-ha. You did the right thing with that. It was respectful. Offering the trip was not. Look, I know this is probably hard for you, you know. It hurts a little bit. You having to see Kelly and me around all the time. But, um, we might be moving very soon. So that should make it a little easier for you. I'm gonna get some eggnog. So, what did you think? Was it reception worthy? It's a room. A room with big round tables. And beautiful lighting and a garden terrace. None of which solicited anything but grunts and nods from you. What didn't you like about it? I didn't say I didn't like it. You didn't have to. What's going on? I didn't get the job. When did you find out? They called right before the meeting. It's why I haven't been very talkative. I'm sorry. I know how bad you wanted it. For what it's worth, if you had gotten it, I would have said that we should move. Good, that means a lot, because I still think we should. - Should what? - Move to Seattle. - lt'll be an adventure. - But our jobs are here. Kelly, so what? We can find new jobs. Come on, you said you were ready to go. Yes, to something, for something. Now it would just feel like we're running away. From Dylan? Did I miss something? When does this become about Dylan? Oh, let's see, since the day I met him. You have this idea of him. Of him and me, this ridiculous idea. Okay, let's say I'm being ridiculous. Maybe I'm completely nuts. But I'm still asking you to do this for me. Matt, I don't understand this. I'm serious, Kelly. Will you do this for me? This feels like a test and I don't like it. Okay, you're just upset about the job and I think we should deal with that first. Fine. It's not gonna change how I feel. I'm not saying it will but I think we should talk about it later. Okay? Hi. Hi. Thanks for meeting me here. - Look, I'm sure you-- - I was up-- Go ahead. I can't help you if you don't let me. How long were you at my mom's? - Heh, what do you mean? - How long? - Five minutes, ten? - Yeah, something like that. And after you left, where did you go? Did you go looking for me? - Yeah, I did. - Where? - Places. - What places? Places I thought you'd be. Bars? What difference does it make? Caitlin loves to draw. So before I went over, I stopped to pick her up a colouring book and there was a long line of people. So I was 1 5 minutes late. Fifteen minutes. And you were already looking under barstools. Yeah, I was worried. So you assume the worst? Look, I wouldn't have Caitlin in my life if it weren't for you. But I do. And between trying to take care of her and proving myself to my mother, I've got all the headaches I can handle right now. Heh. So now I'm a headache to you? I need to focus on Caitlin right now. I just don't know how much time I have for anything else. All right. I can't believe it sold so quickly. Well, it's a great house. A great house. And, oh, we made a killing. - Mom. - Oh, I know. All right, wait, sombre moment. That's it. Now can I tell you about the family who's moving in? They've got a boy and a girl in junior high. The girl is taking your room. She's not changing a thing. How can you be taking this so well? Because that's what your father would want. You think so? Yeah, I know so. He'd want me to move on. He'd want us both to. I miss him so much. I know you do, sweetie. So do l. There's so many things going on right now that I wish I could talk to him about. Work, Kelly getting married, ha, ha. my recurring role as the bridesmaid. Well, I'd like to be able to talk to you about those things. I mean, I think I could help. Oh, as a matter of fact, I almost completely forgot. I have the most incredible fix-up for you. No, no, Mom. Now's not the time. Now is precisely the time. You wanna get serious, right? You're between one of your many boyfriends. And given your recent track record, I think it's a rare window of opportunity. Fine. Fine. Ha, ha. Okay, where are his social connections? He doesn't have any. Mm-hm. Okay, uh, so what country club does he belong to? None. Oh, I didn't know you were in such a hurry to marry me off. Ah. Very funny. He's expecting you at the Green Terrace tonight, 8:30. Tonight? I know the two of you are really gonna hit it off. [MADDY COOlNG] You're just getting back from work? Yeah. She really wore me out today. I'm going to put her down, okay? Yeah. Go to Mommy. Hi, baby. - Bye, baby. - Oh. Come see Mom. [MADDY COOS] Oh. It's hard, I know. I missed an entire day of her life. I'll be in in a minute. I just want to You know. - Take your time. - Okay. What are you doing here? What are you doing here? I was set up. What are you doing here? I think I'm the guy you were set up with. - Nuh-uh. - Mm-hm. Who set you up? - Steve and Janet. - Oh, my God. You? - My mom. Ha, ha. - Ha-ha-ha. She, um, ahem. She said you'd be perfect for me. - Get out of here, Felice didn't say that. - Oh, yeah, yeah, she actually did. Well, I guess, uh, everybody's trying to tell us something, huh? Well, it would seem that way. You think they understand just how much we'd be risking? No, no. How could they? Because if they understood, they would know why we just want to stay friends. And then they'd stop pushing us to do something we just don't want. Right, something that we know is wrong. We could end up regretting this. Definitely. It won't work. - What? - Leaving. Is that why you wanted me to meet you here? So you can tell me not to leave. Yes, that and to see if you wanted to go bowling. I haven't decided to go anywhere. I tried. It doesn't help you forget. - You can't do this, Dylan. - Do what? This, meeting me here. Now, at the last minute. Why not? - Because. - Because? - Because you don't want to? - I don't. Because it's confusing? You're leaving because of me? I didn't say I was leaving. If you do It won't have anything to do with you. I'm glad you're clear on that. Because a couple of months ago you were saying something to me about commitment. Something about me committing to you and not just a little bit. All or nothing. You chose nothing. Let me choose again. You can't. It's too late. No, it's not. - I have to go. - No, you don't. Why is it too late? Because it is.
