Undramatic Reading of Pulp Fiction

How you boys doin'? Am I trippin', or did I just ask you a question. We're doin' okay. Do you know who we are? No We're associates of your business partner Marsellus Wallace, you remember your business partner dont'ya? Now I'm gonna take a wild guess here: you're Brett, right? I'm Brett. I thought so. Well, you remember your business partner Marsellus Wallace, dont'ya Brett? I remember him. Good for you. Looks like me and Vincent caught you at breakfast, sorry 'bout that. What'cha eatin'? Hamburgers. Hamburgers. The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kinda hamburgers? Cheeseburgers. No, I mean where did you get'em? MacDonald's, Wendy's, Jack-in-the- Box, where? Big Kahuna Burger. Big Kahuna Burger. That's that Hawaiian burger joint. I heard they got some tasty burgers. I ain't never had one myself, how are they? They're good. Mind if I try one of yours? No Yours is this one, right? Yeah. Uuummmm, that's a tasty burger. Vince, you ever try a Big Kahuna Burger? No You wanna bite, they're real good. I ain't hungry. Well, if you like hamburgers give 'em a try sometime. Me, I can't usually eat 'em 'cause my girlfriend's a vegetarian. Which more or less makes me a vegetarian, but I sure love the taste of a good burger. You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France? No Tell 'em, Vincent. Royale with Cheese. Royale with Cheese, you know why they call it that? Because of the metric system? Check out the big brain on Brett. You'a smart ***, that's right. The metric system. What's in this? Sprite. Sprite, good, mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down with? Sure. Uuuuummmm, hit's the spot! You, Flock of Seagulls, you know what we're here for? Yes Then why don't you tell my boy here Vince, where you got the *** hid. It's under the be – – I don't remember askin' you a *** thing. You were sayin'? It's under the bed. Got it. We happy? Vincent! We happy? We're happy. Look, what's your name? I got his name's Vincent, but what's yours? My name's Pitt, and you ain't talkin' your *** outta this ***. I just want you to know how sorry we are about how *** up things got between us and Mr. Wallace. When we entered into this thing, we only had the best intentions – Oh, I'm sorry. Did that break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue. I believe you were saying something about "best intentions." Whatsamatter? Oh, you were through anyway. Well, let me retort. Would you describe for me what Marsellus Wallace looks like? What country you from! What? "What" ain't no country I know! Do they speak English in "What?" What? English-***-can-you-speak- it? Yes. Then you understand what I'm sayin'? Yes. Now describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like! What? Say "What" again! C'mon, say "What" again! I dare ya, I double dare ya ***, say "What" one more *** time! Now describe to me what Marsellus Wallace looks like! Well he's... he's... black – – go on! ...and he's... he's... bald – – does he look like a ***?! What? Does-he-look-like-a-***?! No. Then why did you try to *** 'im like a ***?! I didn't. Yes ya did Brett. Ya tried ta *** 'im. You ever read the Bible, Brett? Yes. There's a passage I got memorized, seems appropriate for this situation: "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."