These People are Not Your Friends

female announcer: PREVIOUSLY ON SHAHS OF SUNSET. - WHERE YOU GETTING ALL THIS MONEY FROM, SON? - REZA ASKED ME TO GO INTO BUSINESS WITH HIM. - I HAD THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE THIS YEAR. - DIAMOND WATER HAS THREE CRITICAL INGREDIENTS. ONE IS WATER, AND THEN THERE IS DIAMOND, AND LOVE ENERGY. YEAH, THIS ONE FEELS AMAZING. - ALL RIGHT. - THIS ONE'S MORE LIKE BELL OF THE BALL. - WOW. - I'M GOING TO THROW MYSELF A MASSIVE PERSIAN PROM-THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY. - YOU DIDN'T R.S.V.P. AND THERE WAS TALK ABOUT YOU BEING HELD AT THE GATE BY SECURITY. - I FEEL LIKE MJ TRIED TO HUMBLE HERSELF. - ASA, HAVE YOU HAD A SIT-DOWN DINNER? - WHEN YOU'RE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS WITH SOMEBODY, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO NOT LET THEM IN BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T R.S.V.P. TO YOUR E-VITE. - WHETHER SHE'S HERE OR SHE'S NOT HERE, I DON'T GIVE A [bleep]. - ♪ CUT A LOT OF GIRLS, CUT A LOT OF CHECKS ♪ ♪ THAT'S THE LIFE HERE ON SUNSET ♪ ♪ RICH AND FAMOUS, I AM SUCCESS ♪ ♪ MET HER AT LES DEUX, AND SHE DO LOVE SEX ♪ ♪ I'MA SIP THIS, YOU DO THE REST ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO, YOU DO THE BEST ♪ ♪ DO ME A FAVOR, LOSE THE DRESS ♪ ♪ WE RUN L.A. ♪ [upbeat electronic music] ♪ ♪ [doorbell rings] [dog barking] [both laughing] - SALAM. - COME HERE, BUDDY. - INSIDE. YOU WANT ME TO CUT A LITTLE BIT OF FRUIT AND MAKE SOME MARGARITAS? - YEAH, LET'S GET SOME DRINKS GOING. - YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING LATER, RIGHT? - YEAH, WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO DO THIS? - ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THIS. THIS IS LIKE DOGGY MAINTENANCE. - OH, MY GOD, SEE? YOU CAME PREPARED. SINCE I DON'T HAVE A MAN IN MY LIFE, SOMETIMES I HAVE TO CALL MIKE TO COME IN AND TAKE CARE OF THE MANLY CHORES. - I HAD, LIKE, THREE SHOTS BEFORE I CAME OVER HERE. - THAT'S GOOD. - ALL RIGHT, SO, I HAVE TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, "HOW TO EXPRESS A DOG'S *** GLAND." - OH, MY GOD. - "SECURE THE DOG IN A SMALL ROOM. PUT ON RUBBER GLOVES. POINT THE DOG'S REAR AWAY FROM YOU." - OY, OKAY. - LET'S DO ANOTHER SHOT BEFORE I THROW UP. - [speaking Farsi] - [speaking Farsi] - 4:00 AND 8:00 IS WHERE THE GLANDS ARE. YOU SEE, LIKE A CLOCK. both: 4:00. - 8:00. IT'S LIKE RIGHT HERE. - 4:00, LIKE THIS. - YEAH. - I'M LOOKING AT THIS LITTLE DOG. I'M LOOKING AT THE SIZE OF MY FINGER. I'M WONDERING HOW I'M GOING TO-- OKAY, LET'S TRY IT. - [screams] - BE CALM. BE CALM FOR HIM. - DON'T YOU WASH YOUR BUTT BY STICKING YOUR FINGER IN YOUR BUTT SO THAT YOU MAKE SURE THAT YOU GOT IT ALL OUT? I DO. I FINGER MY BUTT IF I WANT TO BE REALLY CLEAN. - WHAT? - JUST THINK OF IT AS-- - I CAN'T DO IT. I CAN'T--HERE. - NO. THIS IS NOT FAIR TO THE DOG. - DON'T WORRY, JUST BE GENTLE. [laughing] - CAN YOU AIM HIS *** AWAY FROM MY CLOTHING? - [laughing] - WHAT IF HE NEEDS LUBE? - NOT A DRINK, NOTHING. - AH, I'M IN. - YOU FEEL IT? - SHOULD I GO IN FURTHER? - NO, DO YOU FEEL IT? - I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW. I'M IN HIS ***. - 4:00 AND 8:00. - NOW I DO. - IS IT WARM IN THERE? - YEAH, IT WAS HOT. - [chuckle] - [scream] I FELT HEAT. - [laughing] THAT WAS SO DISGUSTING. - WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SCREAM. - [gagging] - HE QUEEFED. - PROBABLY MEANS IT WORKED. - I'M DRUNK. - THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I WANT YOU. - I HAVE A REAL QUESTION. - WHAT? - HOW WAS LILLY'S? - IT WAS VERY PRETENTIOUS. SHE DID A FEW OUTFIT CHANGES. - FIVE DRESSES. - I HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH HER, BUT I JUST DIDN'T LIKE THE WAY SHE TREATED YOU. - YEAH? - YOU'RE MY HOME GIRL. GOT YOUR BACK. - LOVE YOU. [upbeat electronic music] ♪ ♪ - HEY, GIRL, HEY. - HEY, THERE YOU GO, GIRL. - HOW ARE YOU? - HOW ARE YOU? [smack] - I LOVE HOW WE'RE BOTH COLORS. - YOU LOOK--YEAH, WE'RE BOTH, LIKE, DOING IT UP FOR SUMMER, HUH? - GG'S BEEN SO LOVELY TO ME, SO OPEN AND WILLING TO GET TO KNOW ME, THAT I REALLY AM LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING TO KNOW HER BETTER. AND SHE'S SKINNY AND PRETTY. - WE'RE GOING TO GO SHOP AROUND. THANK YOU. - THEY HAVE REALLY CUTE STUFF HERE. - YEAH, A LOT OF CUTE STUFF. - I HAVE HAD MJ'S BACK FROM DAY ONE, AND WHEN SHE FIRST MET LILLY AND TOLD ME HOW MUCH SHE DESPISES HER, I KEPT MY DISTANCE. BUT I'M WONDERING IF HER OPINION ABOUT LILLY IS COMPLETELY WRONG. - SO YOU'RE COMING TO THE DINNER? - ABSOLUTELY. - I GUESS THAT WILL BE THE FIRST TIME THAT EVERYONE WILL BE TOGETHER. - YES. - SINCE MJ DIDN'T COME... - RIGHT. - TO MY BIRTHDAY. BUT YOU KNOW, MY BIRTHDAY WAS SO HECTIC, I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SPEND-- - THERE WAS A LOT GOING ON. - THAT MUCH TIME AND EVERYONE WAS DRUNK. - FIVE OUTFIT CHANGES. - YES. - LILLY! - I ACTUALLY ONLY GOT THROUGH FOUR. - THE FIRST LADY DOESN'T EVEN DO THAT AT THE INAUGURATION BALL. [both laughing] - YOU'RE CRAZY. - YOU GUYS HAVE ANY, LIKE, JEGGINGS? OH, YOU GUYS BROUGHT ME SO MANY. - I MEAN, I JUST BROUGHT YOU WHATEVER WE HAD IN A 24. - PANTS ARE A LITTLE LOOSE. - YEAH. - PANTS ARE A LITTLE LOOSE. - TOO BAD THESE ARE TOO BIG. THEY'RE SO CUTE. - DO YOU HAVE A 23? - 23? SWEET JESUS. - UGH. - TRYING ON JEANS WITH HER IS LIKE, I FELT LIKE SHAMU TRYING TO FIT IN SOME SKINNIES. WHOA, YES, I THINK YOU JUST *** MY ***. - OH, BUT, IT MAKES YOUR-- IT MAKES YOUR BUTT LOOK BETTER WHEN YOU DO THAT, I SWEAR. - [laughing] - I'M GOING TO GET THESE JEANS FOR SURE. - SHE SHOULD LOVE THAT BUTT. SHE SHOULD WORK THAT BUTT. YOU KNOW, YOU JUST GOT TO PULL YOUR PANTS UP A LITTLE HIGHER. - CAN I SEE THE GOLD NAME PLATE? IT'S SELENE INSPIRED, HUH? - YEAH. - I HAVE THIS SCAR ON MY CHEST, SO I ALWAYS WEAR, LIKE-- - DO YOU ALWAYS WANT TO COVER IT? - NO. - I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND. - YES. SEAN AND I HAVE BEEN DATING FOR A LITTLE OVER FIVE MONTHS NOW. I WAS, LIKE, ON A TWO-DAY BREAK AT YOUR PARTY. - UH-OH. OH, YEAH, I SAW YOU GETTING, UH-- - MM-HMM, MM-HMM-- - A LITTLE COMFORTABLE BY THE POOL WITH SHAYAN. [giggling] - MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR IS SHAYAN. [chuckles] - I'M QUICK TO GO FROM RELATIONSHIP TO RELATIONSHIP, SO I KIND OF TRY TO KEEP IT SHH. -THERE AIN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. - I DON'T THINK SO. - I DID MAKE OUT WITH SHAYAN AT HER PARTY, BUT I WAS ON A TWO-DAY BREAK. IT'S OKAY. - WHAT HAPPENS IN MY PARTY-- - STAYS AT YOUR PARTY. - STAYS AT MY PARTY. - I RESPECT THAT. - THANK GOODNESS. - GG HAS GAME. IF THAT GUY DIDN'T WORK OUT, SHE'S ON TO THE NEXT ONE. SHE'S MY IDOL IN THAT DEPARTMENT. - YOUR TOTAL IS $1,338.52. - THANK YOU GUYS, BOTH, SO MUCH. - THANK YOU. TAKE CARE. - YOU WANT TO GO EAT NOW? - [chuckling] YEAH. [upbeat electronic music] ♪ ♪ - MORNING. HOW ARE YOU, IS JELEESA HERE? - YES, SHE IS. LET ME GO AHEAD AND GIVE HER A CALL. - THANK YOU. I'M ASA. THANK YOU. DIAMOND WATER IS NEARING IT'S FINAL STAGES OF PRODUCTION. WE'VE SPENT HALF A MILLION DOLLARS JUST ON DEVELOPING THE BOTTLE. - HI, JELEESA. - HI, HOW ARE YOU? - HOW ARE YOU? - IT'S VERY NICE TO SEE YOU. - GREAT TO SEE YOU. - TODAY IS THE VERY FIRST DAY THAT WE'RE GOING TO TEST THE ASSEMBLY LINE TO SEE IF THIS IS GOING TO WORK EVEN. - HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU. - THIS IS HEAD OF OPERATIONS, EVERET. - HI, NICE TO MEET YOU. - VERY NICE TO MEET YOU. - SO SHOW ME! - YOU READY? - YES. - OKAY, LET'S GO. - SO EXCITED. - WOW, IT'S LIKE, TEN TIMES MORE PACKED THAN LAST TIME I WAS HERE. - I KNOW, THERE'S SO MUCH THAT HAS BEEN ADDED. - IT'S AMAZING. - SO MUCH. BUT YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO WEAR A HAIR NET. - ARE YOU SERIOUS? - ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE SET NOW. - WELL, YOU SURE? - NO. YOU ALSO-- YOU HAVE TO REMOVE ALL YOUR JEWELRY AS WELL. - OH, I'M NOT. - YOU HAVE TO. - WE DON'T ANY OF YOUR JEWELRY TO GET CHOPPED IN THE MACHINE. POLICY. I'M SORRY. - [speaking Farsi] - I'M SORRY. - OH, MY GOD. THE PRIESTESS DOES NOT LIKE TO TAKE OFF HER BANGLES, EVER. UGH! CAN I GO NOW? - YOU'RE SAFE NOW. YOU'RE SAFE. - OKAY, GOOD. - OKAY. - I'M LIKE MOSES IN THE DESERT WITH THIS DIAMOND WATER PROJECT. TIRELESSLY SEEKING THE TRUTH, LOVE, AND POSITIVITY THROUGH A DESERT OF NONBELIEVERS. - THIS IS WHERE THE FILLING TAKES PLACE. THE DIAMOND WATER GOING INTO THE BOTTLE. THEY ARE ACTUALLY TESTING RIGHT NOW ON THE CONVEYOR. - THIS IS NOT NORMAL, RIGHT? - THIS IS NOT NORMAL. - THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN WITH, LIKE, A STANDARD BOTTLE? THIS IS CRAZY, YOU GUYS. THEY WON'T EVEN STAND UP. THIS IS MY SPECIAL DAY OF COMING TO THE FACTORY AND SEEING MY DREAM COME FULLY TO LIFE, AND THE BOTTLES AREN'T EVEN UPRIGHT. IT HAS A SMALL BASE, SO THERE'S MORE WEIGHT TOWARD THE TOP OF THE BOTTLE THAN THERE IS AT THE BOTTOM. - IS THERE A POSSIBILITY THAT THIS MACHINE WON'T EVEN WORK? - THERE'S THINGS THAT WE CAN ADD ON TO THE CONVEYOR THAT WILL-- - HOLD THE BOTTLE IN PLACE. - EXACTLY. - HOW MUCH ARE THESE THINGS? - CHANGE PARTS ONLY IS $50,000. - THE BOTTLE THAT WE'VE DESIGNED IS SO UNIQUE THAT NONE OF THE MACHINES CAN BE USED AS IS ON THESE BOTTLES. WHERE DOES OUR OVER CAP COME IN PLAY? - THAT'S GOING TO HAVE TO BE AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT MACHINE. - I NEED THIS CAP TO BE EXACTLY HOW IT IS IN MY MIND. BECAUSE THIS IS THE SECRET TO DIAMOND WATER-- THAT AND THE LOVE ENERGY THAT GOES IN THERE FROM MY HEART. HOW MUCH IS THAT MACHINE? - OH, THAT'S-- I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S-- - THAT'S EXPENSIVE. IT'S GOING TO BE, LIKE-- - A FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS, YEAH. - $450,000. - WHAT? - YEAH, MAYBE HALF A MILLION. - WHAT? THIS IS NOT JUST ME. THIS IS MY INVESTORS, YOU KNOW, WHO'VE PUT COLD CASH INTO THIS. IF DIAMOND WATER WAS NOT A SUCCESS, I MEAN, I WOULD BE MORTIFIED--EMBARRASSED. IT WOULD BE AWFUL. - HOW DOES MOVING IN WITH ADAM FEEL? - YOU'RE SO IRRITATING. - YOU NEED TO GROW UP AND ACT LIKE AN ADULT. - THESE ARE MY-- - I THINK YOU'RE A COWARD AND A LIAR. [upbeat electronic music] ♪ ♪ - I SMELL MONEY. [humming] [phone dialing] [phone ringing] - HI, DAVID? - YOUR BROTHER GAVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER. HE SAID THAT YOU DO ROOT CANAL. - WHAT ABOUT TEETH WHITENING? - WHAT ABOUT *** EXAM? - OH, WOW. HOW MANY FINGERS? - [laughing] - ALL RIGHT, DAVID. BYE. - I SWITCHED PATHS IN REAL ESTATE FROM COMMERCIAL TO RESIDENTIAL UNDER THE NOTION THAT REZA'S GOING TO GIVE ME HIS TIME AND HIS MENTORSHIP TO GUIDE ME, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THAT'S NOT HAPPENING. I WISH HE WOULD BE HERE RIGHT NOW SHOWING ME THE ROPES AND GIVING ME HIS 2¢, BUT HE'S NOT. [sighs] [phone dialing, ringing] - HELLO. - REZ, THE GUY WHO'S DOING THE BUS WRAP FOR US-- HE WANTS A PICTURE OF YOU AND I. WHICH PICTURE DID YOU WANT ME TO SEND HIM? - YOU PICK ONE. WHATEVER ONE YOU PICK. - BUSINESS IS NOT GOING AS FAST AS I EXPECTED IT TO, SO I'M THINKING ABOUT THROWING A PICTURE OF ME AND REZ ON THE SIDE OF A BUS, HAVING IT GO THROUGH BEVERLY HILLS AND OTHER RICH AREAS SO OUR CLIENTS CAN SEE IT AND CALL US. DID YOU LIKE THE ONE THAT WAS-- THAT--THAT HE INITIALLY HAD SENT US? - YEAH, IT LOOKED GOOD. - UH, ALL RIGHT, I'LL USE THAT ONE. I THINK THAT'S-- - LET'S DEAL WITH THIS LATER. I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SELLING A CONDO. - ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT. - BYE. [sighs] IF REZA DEDICATED THE TIME TO MENTORING AND COACHING ME, I'M 100% CERTAIN THAT WE'D BE MAKING MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TOGETHER, BECAUSE TWO BRAINS ARE BETTER THAN ONE, BUT HE JUST DOESN'T GET IT. - WOW, LOOK AT THAT VIEW. YOU HAVE TO PAY TWO MILLION BUCKS, SERIOUSLY, FOR A VIEW LIKE THIS. YOU HAVE VIEWS FROM CENTURY CITY AND PEEK-A-BOO TO DOWNTOWN. THE UNIT IS TOTALLY REDONE. THE OWNERS PUT IN NEW CABINETRY. THE STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES ARE ALL BRAND NEW. - WHAT'S THE SQUARE FOOTAGE ON THIS RESIDENCE? - 741 TO BE EXACT. I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG IT'S GOING TO BE AROUND. MIKE THINKS THAT BUS WRAPS AND PICTURES OF HIM SMILING IN FRONT OF A ROLLS ROYCE OR A HOUSE ARE GOING TO SELL HOUSES. BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT SELLS HOUSES. I SELL HOUSES. I WOULD DEFINITELY MAKE A MOVE SOONER THAN LATER. NO PRESSURE, BUT THIS IS PRETTY MUCH AS GOOD AS IT GETS FOR A PIED-A-TERRE AND THE SUNSET STRIP WEST HOLLYWOOD AREA. I CAN SEE YOU LIVING HERE. - I--I CAN SEE IT AS WELL. - MIKE NEEDS TO LEARN THE BUSINESS, FAMILIARIZE HIMSELF WITH THE INVENTORY, AND WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING IN THE MARKETPLACE, AND THEN COME TALK TO ME ABOUT DOING A DEAL. - I'LL HAVE AN OFFER TO YOU BY THE END OF THE DAY. - THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN TO ME. [upbeat electronic music] ♪ ♪ - IS THIS DAN THE MAN? - DAN THE MAN. - DAN THE MAN. - HI, ASA. PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. UM, SO, I JUST GOT THIS CRAZY INFORMATION ABOUT THE MACHINE FOR THE OVER CAP. - YES. - THEY WERE SAYING THE MACHINE IS, LIKE, ALMOST HALF A MILLION DOLLARS? - $400,000 TO $500,000, YES. - YOU SERIOUS? - YES. - THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO DO THIS PART? - TO DO IT CORRECT. - I MEAN, THAT'S A LOT. WE DIDN'T SPEND ALL THIS MONEY ON A PRETTY BOTTLE TO NOT HAVE THAT GORGEOUS CAP ON IT, AND IT LOOKS LIKE A GIANT DIAMOND. IT'S THE KEY TO MY DESIGN. IT CANNOT BE CHANGED. I MEAN OUR TOTAL BUDGET FOR GETTING DIAMOND WATER OFF THE GROUND WAS $150,000. - THAT'S WHAT IT STARTED. - OH, NO, THAT'S FAR FROM IT. - NOW IT'S GOING TO COVER THIS MUCH, RIGHT? - [all laughing] - I MEAN I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY BOTTLE. LIKE, IT'S MY BABY. - AH, A BEAUTIFUL BOTTLE. - THANK YOU SO MUCH. BUT IT'S BITTERSWEET FOR ME RIGHT NOW. - I LOVE THE DESIGN, AND LIKE I SAID, THE WATER IS VERY, VERY UNIQUE, AND LIKE I SAY, THE MINERALS IN THERE, IT'S, UM--ONE OF THE BEST STRUCTURED WATERS OUT THERE. - THANK YOU. - DAN THE MAN NOT ONLY CARES ABOUT HOW THE WATER IS STRUCTURED, HE THE EXPERT. HE'S DEALT WITH WATER AND BEVERAGES FOR, LIKE, DECADES. - I PUT A LOT OF LOVE AND ENERGY INTO THIS, AND I WANTED THE FINAL PRODUCT THAT'S EVEN MASS PRODUCED TO HAVE THE SORT OF LOVE, ENERGY, AND INTEGRITY OF THE ORIGINAL IDEA. SO THIS IS GOING TO BE MY CHALLENGE. I MEAN, I NEED TO GO TALK TO MY PARTNERS. I MEAN, SOMEBODY--YOU KNOW-- IT'S A LOT OF MONEY, GUYS. - YEAH. - I'M NEVER GOING TO, LIKE, CHANGE MY VISION TO FIT IN THE MACHINE. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW THE MACHINE IS GOING TO WORK WITH THIS VISION. IT'S GOING TO HAVE TO BE THAT WAY AROUND. LIKE, I WILL NOT COMPROMISE ON THE DESIGN. BUT WE HAVE $300,000 WORTH OF PRE-ORDERS JUST SITTING THERE. IF I DON'T GET THIS TOGETHER WITH THE CAP, WE MIGHT LOSE ALL THESE ORDERS. - WE HOPE ALL GOES WELL. - THANK YOU. YOU WILL HEAR FROM ME SOON. [upbeat electronic music] ♪ ♪ - OH. - HELLO, HELLO. - SALAM. - HOW ARE YOU? YOU LOOK SO PRETTY. - MERCIE. - SORRY, IT'S A WRECK. - NO. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. - YOU WANT SOME MORE, GG? - SURE, THANK YOU. [both speaking Farsi] - SALAM. - GOOD TO SEE YOU. [smack] - ALL RIGHT. - WHAT DO WE GOT TO DO? WE GOT TO SHOW MJ OUR HOUSE, RIGHT? - YEAH. - ARE YOU READY TO GIVE MJ A TOUR? - EVERYTHING IS GOING SO AMAZING IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, I CAN'T SAY THE SAME FOR MY SISTER. SHE'S GOING THROUGH A REALLY [bleep] DIVORCE HAVING TO LEASE HER HOUSE OUT. SHE'S GOT TO DO IT RIGHT AWAY TO GET JORDAN INTO SCHOOL IN A MONTH. - THIS IS MY PLAYROOM. - THIS IS THE BATHROOM. - THIS IS MY BATHROOM. - AND JORDAN'S BATHROOM. - OH, GOD, THIS IS GORGEOUS. THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL ROOM. - IT'S BIG. - SHE'S GOING TO GET MORE MONEY THAN SHE THINKS FOR THIS HOUSE. - YOU THINK SO? - 100% SURE. - I'M REALLY GLAD THAT MJ'S HELPING OUT MY SISTER. MJ AND I ARE REALLY CLOSE SO IT'S GREAT, BECAUSE NOW IT'S LIKE SHE'S, LIKE, FAMILY. - THIS IS OUR LIVING ROOM THAT WE HAVE. - THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL, GREAT ROOM. I MEAN, IT'S GORGEOUS. - AND HOW'S THE FIREPLACE FUNCTIONING, OKAY? - THE FIREPLACE WORKS. - IT LOOKS JUST A LITTLE TEENY TINY BIT STARK. - I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE BEFORE AND I HAVEN'T SEEN IT IN ANOTHER STATE, SO I JUST DON'T HAVE A POINT OF COMPARISON. - SHE JUST DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH OUR TABLE AND OUR COUCH AND OUR OTHER CHAIR. - I'M GOING TO REDO THE FLOORS. OBVIOUSLY, THEY WERE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY DAMAGED. - DAMAGED PROBABLY FROM JOHN? - BY JOHN, YEAH. - OKAY. - MOM? - UM-- - BUT WE'RE WAITING FOR THE UH--ATTORNEY. - I NEED TO ASK YOU A QUESTION THAT SERIOUSLY, CAN'T-- I CAN'T ASK YOU RIGHT, LIKE-- - CAN I TALK TO YOU IN PRIVATELY FOR A SECOND? - OKAY. - JORDAN, CAN YOU PLAY WITH GG FOR A MINUTE? - YEAH-- - SURE, WHAT ARE WE PLAYING? - SHE KNOWS WE'RE MOVING. - OKAY. - HER DAD HAS ALREADY MOVED OUT. YOU CAN SEE THE HOUSE IS PRETTY MUCH EMPTY. SHE KNOWS DADDY HAS A GIRLFRIEND. - WHAT? - YOU HAVE NO IDEA? - I HAVE SEEN YOU AND JOHN AS, LIKE, A HAPPY COUPLE. - DO HAPPY COUPLES BRING ANOTHER GIRL, AND THEY HAVE SEX WITH THEM IN YOUR BED WITH YOUR DAUGHTER AND YOUR SON IN THE OTHER ROOM? - I'M SO SORRY. - I WENT AWAY FOR TWO NIGHTS. I PICK HER UP FROM SCHOOL, AND SHE GOES, "I WANT TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER PLAY DATE WITH CC." I'M, LIKE, "WHO THE HELL IS CC?" - WHAT DID HE SAY WHEN YOU CONFRONTED HIM? - "NO. DIDN'T HAPPEN." - BUT I HAVE CAMERAS EVERYWHERE. - SHE WAS DOING, LIKE, *** ACTS WITH HIM IN MY BED WITH JORDAN'S BOA. LIKE, WHAT KIND OF *** DOES THAT? IT WAS DEVASTATING. NOW, MY BIGGEST CONCERN RIGHT NOW IS HER. JORDAN, WHENEVER THERE'S, LIKE, A WATER FOUNTAIN, SHE'S, LIKE, WANTS TO THROW PENNIES IN AND MAKE A WISH. SHE GOES, "MOMMY, I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING." I'M, LIKE, "WHAT?" SHE GOES, "EVERY TIME I MAKE A WISH..." - OH, MY GOD. - "I WISH FOR MY FAMILY TO BE BACK TOGETHER, "AND I TOLD DADDY, AND HE TOLD ME THAT WISH WILL NEVER COME TRUE." - OH, MY GOD. - ALL OF THEM. - JORDAN IS EXACTLY THE SAME AGE THAT I WAS WHEN MY PARENTS GOT DIVORCED, AND WALKING THROUGH THIS HOUSE AND SEEING THE STATE OF THINGS IS LIKE WALKING THROUGH MY LIFE WHEN I WAS SIX YEARS OLD. YOU NEED TO-- - I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE. - GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. - AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. announcer: COMING UP-- - ALL OF THE EGGS THAT YOU HAVE, THEY'VE BEEN DWINDLING IN NUMBER. THE CLOCK IS TICKING. - I'M OPEN AND READY NOW. [upbeat electronic music] ♪ ♪ - I HOPE THAT'S THE LAST OF IT. THIS MOVING IS FOR THE BIRDS. I JUST SOLD THIS PLACE TO MY CLIENT. HE CAN'T MOVE IN FOR EIGHT MONTHS, AND I'M THINKING ADAM AND I CAN RENT IT AND GIVE THE LIVING TOGETHER THING A LITTLE TEST DRIVE. - DID YOU BRING THE-- - DID I BRING THE WHAT? - THE VACUUM CLEANER. - NOT YET. - WHEN ADAM AND I DECIDED TO MOVE IN TOGETHER, ADAM WANTED TO LIVE IN A PLACE THAT HE COULD AFFORD BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE EQUALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND I'VE AGREED. THIS WAS THE SMALLEST PLACE THAT I COULD TOLERATE WITHIN HIS BUDGET. - DO YOU WANT TO LOOK UP THIS THING-- UH, HONEY, IT'S NOT DONE. - OH, NO. - I'M PETRIFIED. THERE ARE A LOT OF RED FLAGS, BUT I'M THINKING HE'S A GREAT GUY, AND I EITHER NEED TO PUT UP OR SHUT UP AT THIS POINT. - THIS CLEANING IS IRRITATING. - THIS IS WHY I WANTED YOU TO TELL THE CLEANING LADY TO COME. REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID, "I'LL BE HERE ALL DAY. I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT?" - DON'T OPEN THAT. - DID YOU WANT TO HAVE A HOUSE WARMING PARTY OR NO? - YEAH. - WHEN WERE YOU THINKING? - AS SOON AS WE'RE DONE. - HONEY, YOU'RE SO ANNOYING. I SAID DON'T OPEN THAT ONE. YOU'RE SO IRRITATING. CAN YOU GO IN THE KITCHEN AND DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO ME? - FINE, I'LL GO UNLOAD THE DISHES. - PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT THE DISHWASHER'S ACTUALLY DONE WITH THE CYCLE BEFORE YOU UNLOAD IT THIS TIME. - NO, IT'S NOT. [both laughing] - WHY ARE YOU COMING BACK HERE? DO SOMETHING ELSE IN ANOTHER ROOM. WHY DO I HAVE TO MICROMANAGE YOU? - MOVING IN WITH ADAM RIGHT NOW FEELS EXACTLY LIKE BEING IN THE OFFICE WITH MIKE. NEITHER ONE OF THEM WANT TO DO ANYTHING. WHY AM I SURROUNDING MYSELF WITH MEN THAT I LOVE THAT DON'T WANT TO DO [bleep]? - DO YOU WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A REAL IRANIAN WIFE? HUH? - WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? - I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU SO YOU LEARN THE PROPER WAY OF HANDLING THE CLEANING LADY. - FINE. I'M DOWNSIZING BIG TIME, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I'M ACTUALLY EXERCISING THAT ADULT IMPULSE CONTROL BE-A-GROWN-UP MUSCLE. I'M, YOU KNOW, TRYING TO STRENGTHEN THAT MUSCLE. - WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? - WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO. - YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO, LIKE, GIVE IT A TUG. - I BETTER GO CLEAN SOMETHING. I WILL CLEAN THE BATHROOM. EXCUSE ME. - DID YOU CLEAN THE BATH-- - JUST CLEAN YOUR OWN SIDE. I CLEANED MY SIDE ALREADY. - OH, I HAVE A SIDE? - YEAH, THE LEFT, IF YOU'RE FACING THE MIRROR. - FINE. [upbeat electronic music] ♪ ♪ - HI. - YOU GUYS HUNGRY? - STARVING. - YES, HUNGRY. - FOR MOJITOS. - I HAVE A TABLE FOR FOUR UNDER LILLY GHALICHI. - THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. - IT IS BEAUTIFUL. - I HAD A REALLY GREAT TIME AT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY, BUT IT WAS SUPER STRESSFUL PUTTING ON THE WHOLE PRODUCTION. SO EVEN THOUGH MY BIRTHDAY PARTY'S OVER, I'M STILL CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY--BIRTHDAY MONTH. - HOW ABOUT A TOAST TO YOUR BIRTHDAY WEEK? - TO LILLY'S BIRTHDAY. - [speaking Farsi] - AND TO ALL OF Y'ALL BEING MEMBERS OF THE DIRTY 30s. [all laughing] - TURNING 30 ITSELF ISN'T SUCH A HORRIBLE THING, BUT IT'S DEFINITELY DISAPPOINTING THAT MY DREAMS OF BECOMING A WIFE AND MOTHER WEREN'T FULFILLED BY THE AGE THAT I THOUGHT THAT THEY WOULD BE. - OH, MY GOD, MOM AND DAD ARE FREAKING OUT. - AND JUSTIFIABLY SO. - EVERY CONVERSATION I HAVE WITH MOM AND DAD NOW IS, "YOU KNOW YOU'RE 30..." - [giggling] NOW SHE KNOWS HOW I FEEL. - "TIME TO GET MARRIED." - WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? - TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME. - THAT'S REALLY WHAT YOU WANT? - MM-HMM. I DON'T KNOW. I JUST FEEL, LIKE, I WOULD BE A REALLY HARD WOMAN TO BE WITH. I'M VERY DOMINATING. I MEAN I DO-- - YOU NEED TO FIND A ***. - [laughing] - AMEN, HONEY! [all laughing] - I'M NOT CHEERING TO THAT. [all laughing] - I THINK THAT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT I'M READY TO GET OUT THERE. I'M SINGLE, READY TO MINGLE. - I THINK I'M READY TO DATE. I'M 30 YEARS OLD. IT'S LIKE, HALLELUJAH. - I HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS, AND I REALIZE A SUPER ANNOYING VOICE IS ONE OF THEM, BUT MY BROTHER'S VOICE IS WORSE THAN MINE. - I'M SORRY TO INFORM YOU-- - YEAH. - BUT FROM A MEDICAL STANDPOINT-- - OH, GOD, HE'S-- - HERE COMES THE DOCTOR. - LOOK, YOU DON'T HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD. ALL OF THE EGGS THAT YOU HAVE WERE GENERATED WHEN YOU WERE A FETUS. AND SINCE THEN, THEY'VE BEEN DWINDLING IN NUMBER-- DWINDLING IN QUALITY. THE CLOCK IS TICKING. YOU CAN DISAGREE, BUT THE FACT OF LIFE DON'T CHANGE. - IS THAT SO, DOCTOR? - WHAT IS THE REASON YOU DON'T HAVE A GREAT GUY? FROM THE WAY I SEE IT, THE PROBLEM IS YOU. - WHY DO YOU THINK--LIKE, WHAT ARE MY PROBLEMS? - YOU'RE SETTING UP TOO MANY OBSTACLES-- TOO MANY CONDITIONS. - WHAT? HOW IS THAT AN OBSTACLE? I DON'T HAVE ANY OBSTACLES. - IT MEANS IN THE LAST HOWEVER MANY YEARS, YOU SHUNNED EVERYTHING AWAY. - IT'S REALLY [bleep] UP, YOU KNOW. MY BROTHER COMES IN TO TOWN. I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE HIM. I'M SO EXCITED TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM, AND HE BASICALLY TELLS ME I'M SPOILED MILK, ROTTEN, EXPIRED, AGING, OLD. THAT'S RUDE. - OH, YEAH. - THAT'S A CRUMB PIE. - THANK YOU SO MUCH. - SHOULD WE SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY? - NO, BUT I WILL MAKE A WISH. - THAT MAKES ME WANT TO MAKE A WISH. - [giggling] - I WISH-- - HAMI, IT'S NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY, YOU DON'T GET A WISH. - NO, FOR THREE AND A HALF BILLION YEARS THAT LIFE HAS EXISTED ON THIS EARTH AND DNA WAS PASSED FROM PARENT TO DAUGHTER ALL THE WAY TO YOU THREE TODAY IN ONE CONTINUOUS CHAIN, MY WISH IS THAT YOU THREE ARE NOT THE FIRST FAILURES IN THAT CHAIN. - HE'S A [bleep] CARDIOLOGIST, AND IT'S JUST ALL ABOUT LOGISTICS AND FACTS AND SCIENCE. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT WE'RE HUMANS, AND WE HAVE EMOTIONS, AND MAYBE WE'RE TRYING. [upbeat electronic music] ♪ ♪ - HELLO. - OH, HEY. - HI. - WHAT'S GOING ON? IT SMELLS GOOD IN HERE. - I'M COOKING, SO-- - YOU NEED ANY HELP WITH IT? - NO, I'M GOOD. I PUT-- I'M ALMOST DONE WITH EVERYTHING. - I DON'T SEE SEAN VERY OFTEN AT ALL BECAUSE HE WORKS IN ANOTHER STATE. I TOTALLY REQUIRE A LOT OF ATTENTION. I NEED TO BE LOVED AND HUGGED AND KISSED AT ALL TIMES. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM THAT SEAN AND I HAVE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP IS THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US, AND IT JUST CAUSES FIGHTS. - BUBBA. COME ON, BUBBA. - HOLA. - HOLA. - HEY, MJ. - HI. - LOOK AT YOU. - HOLA. - NICE TO SEE YOU. WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE OF YOU. - YOU TOO, IT'S BEEN A MINUTE. - I FORGOT TO BRING MY CIGARETTES DOWN. - I THOUGHT WE HAD A DISCUSSION? - YOU GOT TO BE AROUND TO KEEP ME IN CHECK. - HE PROBABLY DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SMOKE BECAUSE HE WANTS TO HAVE YOUR BABIES. - I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. - I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE SEAN'S CHILDREN. HE HAS AN AMAZING BODY. I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THAT IN ME. NOT IN ME, BUT--YOU--OKAY. OH, GOD. - BABY STEPS. - BABY STEPS. - BABY STEPS. - BABY... STEPS. - SORRY, BABY. YOU'RE MAD. LOOK, HE'S LEANING ALL THE WAY-- - I'M NOT MAD. I'M NOT MAD. - AWKWARD. - SPEAKING OF APOLOGIZING, I THINK LILLY UNINVITING YOU WAS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE FOR A COUPLE REASONS. ONE, IT GOT ASA AND I TO TALK. IT GOT REZA VERY EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED TO FEELING BAD THAT YOU WEREN'T THERE. UNFORTUNATELY, IT WAS AT YOUR EXPENSE. WHY DIDN'T YOU R.S.V.P. TO HER PARTY? - OKAY, THIS IS THE THING. SHE WAS GOING TO HAVE ME SEATED AT HER TABLE FOR HER SIT-DOWN, BUT IT DOESN'T OCCUR TO YOU TO SAY, "WE DIDN'T GET YOUR R.S.V.P." BECAUSE, LIKE, WHO OPENS UP AN E-VITE AND HAS TO CLICK YES, NO, OR MAYBE? I JUST DIDN'T DO EITHER. SO, YOU'RE GOING TO-- - THAT'S THE ISSUE RIGHT THERE THOUGH-- - SHUT UP, IT IS NOT AN ISSUE. - I LOVE YOU. I HAVE YOUR BACK, BUT THAT IS A LITTLE WEIRD. - A PERSON THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH AND IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO INVITE-- - BUT YOU GUYS WERE NOT FRIENDS. SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. YOU DON'T LIKE HER. - DON'T PUT ME AT HER TABLE. DON'T PUT ME AT HER TABLE. - SO THAT *** SENT YOU A [bleep] E-VITE, YOU SAY YES, AND THEN YOU SAY IN BIG CAPS, THANK YOU FOR CONSIDERING ME. - GOLNESA, DON'T-- - I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF LILLY. SINCE WHEN IS GOLNESA STANDING UP FOR LILLY AND BEING HER DEFENDER AND TAKING HER SIDE? I THOUGHT SHE WAS MY FRIEND. - LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. IF IT WAS REZA'S BIRTHDAY PARTY, AND HE DIDN'T INVITE ME, I WOULD BE, LIKE, HONEY-- - OH, LIKE THE WAY YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME TO YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY LAST YEAR. - I'M CALLING TO TELL YOU I'M NOT INVITING YOU TO THE BIRTHDAY PARTY. - SO ASA'S INVITED AND I'M NOT? - YEAH, YEAH. - THE SAME PERSON THAT YOU WERE TALKING [bleep] ABOUT IS INVITED? - I WILL FOREVER HAVE THIS FOR YOU WHEN I THINK OF THAT. THAT WAS A FRIENDSHIP BETRAYAL WHICH FOREVER WILL MAKE ME SECOND GUESS EVERYTHING. - FOREVER? - UNTIL AS LONG AS IT TAKES. announcer: COMING UP-- - CAN YOU ADMIT THAT YOU FOLLOWED UP WITH OTHER PEOPLE THAT DIDN'T R.S.V.P.? - YES, BUT, MJ, YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND. - I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST DID, AND IT MADE NO SENSE TO ME. - JORDAN'S FREAKING ME OUT WITH THIS SONG RIGHT NOW, BE AGGRESSIVE. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. - OH, NO. PLEASE DON'T BE A CHEERLEADER. DON'T BE GG. BE CHARMING, STUDY, STAY AWAY FROM DRUGS, STAY AWAY FROM BOYS. BE--BE GOOD. - BE A DOCTOR. - NO, NO. [upbeat electronic music] ♪ ♪ - I THINK THE BEST THING RIGHT NOW TO MAKE MY SISTER FORGET ABOUT HER CRUMMY, SOON TO BE EX-HUSBAND, IS TO GET EVERYONE TOGETHER AND HELP ME LIFT HER SPIRITS. [upbeat electronic music] ♪ ♪ [all laughing] - THANK YOU. - WHOO. - I'M DEFINITELY EXCITED FOR EVERYONE TO GET A CHANCE TO FINALLY MEET MY BOYFRIEND, SEAN, AND I WANT EVERYONE TO LOVE HIM JUST LIKE I DO. - I'M GOING TO HAVE WINE. - HOW ARE YOU? - LOOK AT THIS ROCK STAR. - YOU LOOK SO CUTE. - YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL IN THAT, BABE. - OH, REZA'S HERE. - HEY, MAN, SEAN. - HEY, REZA. NICE TO MEET YOU. - OH, THIS IS SEAN. - OH, MY LORD. - LOOK AT YOU. - WHAT'S UP? [smack] - HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD. - ASA, THIS IS SEAN. SEAN, ASA. - HI, ASA, I'M SEAN. NICE TO MEET YOU, HOW ARE YOU? [smack] - LOVE YOUR DRESS. - WHAT UP? - OH, THERE'S MIKE. - SALAM. - HEY. - OH, MY GOD. - WOW. - HOW ARE YOU? - HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD. - SHORTS. - VERY SHORT. - AND LOOK AT YOU, HONEY. - ME? NO, WAIT UNTIL I TAKE THIS OFF. - HI. - HI. SALAM. - YOU LOOK SO HOT. - THANK YOU. - YOU TOTALLY LOOK LIKE YOU HAD A *** JOB. - CAN I DO THE ORDERING? - TWO OF THE FRIED RICE BALLS. - ONE TROPICAL PIZZA. - AND HE NEEDS ANOTHER-- - LISTEN, IT'S TWO SIPS. - DID YOU EAT? - NO. - OH, PLEASE EAT. - I'M A LITTLE BUZZED THOUGH. - DON'T GET WASTED. - IT WAS, LIKE, "I HAD TWO GLASSES OF WINE, MIKE, AND I'M DRUNK." - [laughing] - SHE JUST RANDOMLY CALLED YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? - WE TALK EVERY SO OFTEN, YEAH. - IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN SHE'S DRUNK? - IT WASN'T THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. - YOU JUST SAID SHE CALLED ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. - SHE CALLED ME LAST NIGHT. - HE SAID LAST NIGHT. - OH, SORRY, OKAY. - THIS GUY ALWAYS TRIES TO STIR UP ANOTHER [bleep] FIGHT, DOG. - NOW CAN WE GET MY SISTER HOOKED UP AND LAID? - YEAH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT, SHE'S GOT THAT COVERED. all: OH! - WHEN I WAS 17, WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME, IT WAS LIKE, "HEY, LET'S TRY IT. OKAY, WHY NOT?" AND, SHE HAD A CHEAP BED AND IT BROKE WHILE WE WERE HAVING SEX. - CHEERS. - TO GETTING LEILA LAID. - YOU'RE A *** AGAIN. - EXACTLY. TAKE IT EASY. - YOU GUYS, MIKE IS VERY HASHARI TONIGHT. - THIS IS REALLY LIKE MY SISTER. - THIS ONE'S YOUR BIG SISTER. THIS ONE'S YOUR LITTLE SISTER. - *** IS BEST. - AH, BUT YOU'RE SURELY KIDDING. - WHO'S SHIRLEY? [all laughing] - DUH. - WHEN YOU HAVE A REAL GROUP OF FRIENDS COME TOGETHER, THINGS JUST FLOW. IT'S FUN. YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME TO CATCH UP, AND IT'S JUST REAL. - AH, AH. - HI. I'M LILLY. HOW CUTE YOU LOOK. - OH, LOOK AT YOU, LADY IN RED. [smack] - GOOD TO SEE YOU. - YOU TOO. HI. - SALAM. SALAM. - HOW ARE YOU? - RIGHT NOW, I'M IN A VERY WEIRD PLACE WITH LILLY. I'M DISAPPOINTED IN HER FOR WHAT SHE DID TO MJ. - HEY, GIRL. - SALAM. - SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. - I'M HONESTLY CONFUSED. I DON'T KNOW WHERE LILLY FITS IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. - HOW IS EVERYONE? - OH, THANK YOU. - WE'RE GOING TO GET SOME SHOTS GOING. - ALL RIGHT. - I DON'T DRINK ANYTHING. - LISTEN, YOU SAID AT YOUR PARTY THAT YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE A DRINK, AND I DIDN'T SEE YOU HAVE A DRINK. SO, LILLY, WHERE'S YOUR DRINK? - EVERYONE ELSE HAD PLENTY, SO-- - ALL RIGHT. - SHE WAS TOO BUSY CHANGING HER NEW OUTFITS. - I WAS GOING TO SAY, WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE ONE, ALL OF YOU? MINE WAS THE BLACK ONE. I TOLD HER I THOUGHT THE BLACK ONE WAS RIDICULOUS. - THE ONE THAT I LIKED WHEN WE WENT DRESS SHOPPING? - YOU HAD A LOT OF CUTE GUYS AT THAT PARTY. - ERIC BENNET. - OH, THAT GUY? - MOHAMMAD GOES, "WHY ARE YOU WEARING YOUR PAJAMAS IN MY HOUSE?" - BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS A REGULAR NIGHT AT MOHAMMAD'S HOUSE, THAT'S WHY. - THAT'S NOT TRUE AT ALL. DO YOU KNOW MOHAMMAD? - I'VE BEEN TO HIS PARTIES. THEY'RE NOT VERY GOOD. - IS THAT WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO COME TO MY PARTY? - DO YOU HAVE ANY-- ANY UNDERSTANDING THAT I EVER REFUSED TO GO TO YOUR PARTY? - WELL, THE ONLY UNDERSTANDING THAT I HAVE COMES FROM-- - DID I EVER SAY TO YOU THAT I'M NOT? - YOU ASKED ME A QUESTION, AND I WAS TRYING TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION. - ALL I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO WAS SITTING MY FAT *** DOWN IN THIS CHAIR, ORDERING AN ADULT BEVERAGE, AND PARTAKING IN SOME TRUFFLE-INFUSED CONFECTIONS. AND THESE TWO *** HAVE THE NERVE TO GET THIS COOKED AFTER FIVE MINUTES. LIKE, I DIDN'T EVEN NIBBLE. - THE ONLY UNDERSTANDING THAT I HAVE IS FROM EVERYBODY ELSE BECAUSE I'VE HAD ZERO COMMUNICATION WITH YOU. - OKAY, WELL, I COMMUNICATED WITH YOU AFTER HE TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE PLANNING TO MAKE SURE THAT I DID NOT GET INTO YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY. - I NEVER SAID THAT. - IF SHE WANTS TO COME LAST MINUTE, CAN SHE COME TO THE DINNER AND NOT THE PARTY, OR THE PARTY AND NOT THE DINNER? - IF SHE WANTS TO COME LAST MINUTE, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. IF YOU ARE NOT ON THE LIST, YOU ARE NOT GETTING IN. - YOU WERE PLANNING TO HAVE ME COME TO YOUR BIRTHDAY SO THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY KEEP ME AT THE GATES OUTSIDE BY--HELD BY SECURITY. - I INVITED YOU, LIKE I INVITED 120 OTHER PEOPLE. YOU DIDN'T R.S.V.P. - WHY AM I SITTING BETWEEN, LIKE, THE *** SISTERS FACE-OFF, TRYING TO EAT MY TRUFFLE PIZZA? - I INVITED YOU BECAUSE I WANTED YOU TO BE THERE. - YOU SHOULD HAVE-- YOU SHOULD OWNED THIS. - YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD'VE DONE. - GOOD FOR YOU. - EVERYBODY TELLS ME THAT I SHOULD BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE MJ? - TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, YES, MJ SHOULD'VE R.S.V.P.'D, BUT I'M KIND OF FEELING LIKE LILLY WAS TRYING TO STICK IT TO MJ A LITTLE BIT. I'M TEAM MJ ON THIS ONE. I'M SORRY. - YOU DIDN'T R.S.V.P. TO AN INVITE. THAT IS NOT PROPER ETIQUETTE. - THAT IS 100% WRONG. I SENT YOU A SPECIFIC-- - YOU VIEWED THAT INVITE, LIKE, SIX TIMES. I THINK YOU'RE A COWARD AND A LIAR. - I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW. LILLY, I LOVE YOU, BUT IF MJ WAS THERE, THE PARTY WOULD'VE BEEN MUCH MORE FUN. - MIKE, I WASN'T GOING TO BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR ANYBODY, ESPECIALLY SOMEBODY THAT HAS SAID SO MANY UGLY THINGS ABOUT ME. - MJ, I HAVE YOUR BACK 100%, BUT YOU [bleep] UP. - GG, SHE'S TAKING LILLY'S SIDE AND ACTUALLY TRYING TO PLAY DEVIL'S ADVOCATE AGAINST ME? WHO ARE YOU? - MJ, YOU'VE CLEARLY NEVER THROWN A BIG EVENT WITH ASSIGNED SEATING. - SHH. WE'RE IN A RESTAURANT. KEEP IT CLASSY. - I'M NOT YELLING. - IT'S MAYBE YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I'M SAYING. - FIRST OF ALL, WHEN I GOT THAT THING FROM REZA, I SENT YOU A MESSAGE-- - MJ, THAT'S A LIE. YOU SENT ME THAT MESSAGE THE NIGHT BEFORE MY PARTY. - CAN I CLARIFY? - YEAH. - I WASN'T EVEN SPEAKING TO HER. OKAY? HONEST TO GOD, I HAD A PANIC ATTACK. I HAD THIS VISION OF THIS *** STANDING BEHIND A HUGE GATE GOING "LET ME IN," RIGHT? AND I HAD A PANIC ATTACK. ALL OF A SUDDEN, I'M, LIKE-- - SO YOU MADE UP WITH HER THE NIGHT BEFORE MY PARTY? - YES. I WENT THERE AND I SAID TO HER, "YOU NEED TO R.S.V.P., SO PLEASE REACH OUT." - YOU SAID THE ONLY REASON I INVITED YOU WAS TO GET YOU LOCKED OUT BEHIND THE DOORS, AND THAT'S FALSE. - CAN YOU ADMIT THAT YOU FOLLOWED UP WITH OTHER PEOPLE THAT DIDN'T R.S.V.P.? - YES, BUT, MJ, YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND. announcer: COMING UP-- - EVERYTHING I'M WEARING RIGHT NOW I BOUGHT FOR MYSELF-- INCLUDING MY ***, HONEY. - YOU AND COCONUT, YOU CAN CIRCLE ALL THE WAY BACK TO TEXAS. THESE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. - CAN YOU ADMIT THAT YOU FOLLOWED UP WITH OTHER PEOPLE THAT DIDN'T R.S.V.P.? - YES, BUT, MJ, YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND. - FOR THE RECORD, I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T THINK THAT I'M COOL BECAUSE MAYBE I DON'T WEIGH 90 POUNDS. - NO, THOSE ARE YOUR OWN INSECURITIES THAT THINK THAT. - NO, NO, NO. I KNOW THAT YOU JUDGE FOR A LIVING. - NO, I MAKE MONEY FOR A LIVING. WHAT DO YOU DO, MJ? HOW MUCH MONEY DID YOU MAKE LAST YEAR? - YOU LIVE OFF OF A MAN FOR A LIVING. - NO, ACTUALLY I DON'T. EVERYTHING I'M WEARING RIGHT NOW I BOUGHT FOR MYSELF-- INCLUDING MY ***, HONEY. - THAT'S A REALLY CUTE ANSWER. THAT DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT I QUESTION YOUR CHARACTER BECAUSE I DISAGREE WITH YOUR CHOICE OF LIVING, BUT I'M OVER HERE. - WHAT IS MY CHOICE OF LIVING? I'M EDUCATED. YOU'RE SO UNEDUCATED AND IGNORANT. - OH, HO-HO. - SHE'S BLATANTLY SAYING LIES AND NOBODY CARES? EVERYBODY AT THAT TABLE JUST SAT THERE AND LET US ARGUE AND SAY SUCH DESPICABLE THINGS TO EACH OTHER. DON'T JUST SIT THERE AND, LIKE, EAT YOUR POPCORN IN AMUSEMENT. DO SOMETHING TO END IT. - WHEN YOUR GUARD WAS DOWN, YOU TOLD US A LOT OF THINGS, AND THEN YOU TOOK THEM BACK. - THAT'S NOT TRUE. - MJ, YOU DON'T GET IT. MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS. I HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS. - YOUR SITTING AT A TABLE WITH ALL OF MY FRIENDS. - THESE ARE MY FRIENDS TOO, MJ. - THESE PEOPLE WHO ARE SITTING HERE ARE MY FRIENDS FIRST, NOT YOURS. SO YOU AND COCONUT, YOU CAN CIRCLE ALL THE WAY BACK TO TEXAS UNTIL YOU'RE READY. TONIGHT'S NOT THE NIGHT. THESE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. - I AM DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO WEIGH IN ON THIS COMMENT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO ADD ANY FUEL TO THE FIRE. I'M GOING TO LET MJ SAY WHATEVER SHE WANTS TO LILLY RIGHT NOW, BUT I AM LILLY'S FRIEND. THAT'S WHY SHE'S HERE. - SHE'S DECLARED THAT THESE ARE HER FRIENDS, SO I'M GOING TO LET HER HAVE DINNER WITH HER FRIENDS. - NOBODY SAYS ANYTHING SO, YOU KNOW WHAT? I GUESS THEY ARE HER FRIENDS, AND I REALLY DON'T EVEN BELONG IN THIS GROUP ANYWAYS. - YOU DON'T WANT TO FINISH YOUR STEAK? - NO. I'VE LOST MY APPETITE. announcer: NEXT TIME, ON SHAHS OF SUNSET-- - HAS ANYONE HEARD FROM LILLY? - I DON'T WANT HER TO BE AROUND US ANY MORE. - LIKE, PEACE OUT, ***, WE'RE DONE? - OBVIOUSLY, I WIN. - I'M MOST DISAPPOINTED IN ASA AND REZA. - FAKE FRIENDS. - LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, DR. SHOUHED! - THIS IS THE QUINTESSENTIAL IRANIAN PARTY. THERE'S AN OVERFLOW OF FOOD, ALCOHOL, LOVE. - IS ENGLISH YOUR THIRD LANGUAGE? THAT IS NOT-- - IS ENGLISH YOUR FIRST? BECAUSE YOU CAN'T EVEN SPEAK THAT. - I'M TRYING TO PLAY NICE AND ALL THIS *** CAN DO IS [bleep] WITH ME? NOT GOOD. - I DON'T GIVE A [bleep] WHAT MY [bleep] NECKLACE LOOKS LIKE. NO, NO, STOP. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE [bleep] I DID TO YOU? male announcer: FOR MORE SHAHS OF SUNSET, GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.