Kim Jong Il Announces Plan to Bring Moon to North Korea

152 Languages 811 Countries 9 Billion Viewers NN International North Korea Superlative news out of Pyongyang Earlier today, space program director Pae Yong-Nam announced plans to bring the moon to North Korea by 2015. Since time immemorial man has longed to walk on the moon in Korea. At last, we will realize that dream. The Dear Leader Kim Jon II devised this great plan when the ghost of Eternal President Kim II Sung invited him tot he moon for a three-day vacation. He said, "Why not share the moon-joys with all our countrymen, as would a father with his children?" The moon has much to teach us. Listen closely as she whispers to you. The space agency will launch five rockets which will return to North Korea with the moon in tow. Experts say it will be the most auspicious even in the history of humankind. A force of one million men will anchor it to a resplendent pedestal modeled on the Dear Leader's perfect hand. The People's Great and Harmonious Moon Hand of Kim Jong II will be the largest moon-held pedestal ever constructed. Once the moon is secured, the space agency will remove the American flag currently defiling the moon. It will be replaced by a North Korean flag, a banner of Kim Jong II, and an orchestra playing themes from Oscar-winning movies 24 hours a day. We will study the moon once it is here. to learn the effects of moon possession on national glory. Public response to the plan has been uniform. The plan is perfect. We have already succeeded. It will be the greatest victory for North Korea since 1944, when Great Leader and Eternal President Kim II Sung swam to the bottom of the ocean on the back of a blue whale and killed the Giant Crab Spirit to save Korea from her typhoons, then resurfaced to defeat the Japanese army with his fists. Moving on, the American president revealed himself to be a serpent today. Still Ahead This Hour: Obama's job growth plan to include creation of 2.5 million new cabinet posts