The Band Wagon by Arthur Schwartz and Howard Dietz - Dialogue and Script

NEW SUN IN THE SKY India Adams :  I see a new sun up in a new sky And my whole horizon has reached a new high Yesterday my heart sang a blue song But today hear it hum a cheery new song I dreamed a new dream I saw a new face And I'm spreading sunshine all over the place With a new point of view here's what greets my eye! New love, new luck New sun in the sky! I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO CHANGE MY PLAN Jack Buchanan and Fred Astaire : I guess I'll have to change my plan I should've realized there'd be another man I overlooked that point completely Until the big affair began Before I knew where I was at I found myself up on the shelf  And that was that. I tried to reach the moon  But when I got there All that I could get was the air My feet are back upon the ground I've lost the one girl I found. LOUISIANA HAYRIDE Nanette Fabray :  Get goin', Louisiana hayride! Get goin' we all is ready Start something Louisiana hayride No use for calling the road Oh, I like that sport Sittin' in the hay Lovin' it away -- oh, oh For the time is short Crack your little whip Get your little ship to go! Start something, Louisiana hayride No foolin', we all is happy Get goin', Louisiana hayride No use for calling the road! TRIPLETS The "Triplets" are Nanette Fabray, Jack Buchanan and Fred Astaire. Three little unexpected children Simultaneously, the doctor brought us  And you can see that we'll be Three forever and a-e-i-o- You wouldn't know how agonizing Being triple can be Each one is individually the victim Of the clinical day e-i-o- Every summer we go away to Boden, Boden, Boden Every winter we come back home to Walla, Walla, Walla We do everything alike We look alike We dress alike, we walk alike We talk alike  And what is more We hate each other very much We hate our folks We're sick of jokes on what an art it is  To tell us apart! Fred : If one of us gets the measles Jack : Another one gets the measles All : Then all of us gets the measles  And mumps and 'flu. How I wish I had a gun A widdle gun It would be fun to shoot the other two And be only one. Fred : Mrs Whipple Poofer loves to talk to  Mrs Hildendorfer of the fatal natal day She had her silly Willy Nanette : Mrs Hudson-Cooper loves to talk to  Mrs Golden-Wasser Of her major operations  When she had her twins. Jack : But when Mother comes along She silences the others She accomplished something That is very rare in mothers. All : MGM has got a Leo But Mama has got a trio She is proud but says three is a crowd Oh, we do everything alike We look alike We dress alike, we walk alike We talk alike And what is more We hate each other very much We hate our folks We're sick of jokes on what an ... apart. We eat the same kind of vittles We drink the same kind of bottles We sit in the same kind of high-chair High-chair, high-chair! How I wish I had a gun...be only one. 2. Sweet Music  Sung by Nanette Fabray and Oscar Levant Nanette : You are nothing but a good for nothing All you do is sit in the house all day We haven't got a cent And we can't pay the rent. And you sit there with that old box And play away... Oscar : You don't have to stew about it, sister. Our poverty will soon depart When I develop my art Nanette : Keep playin' your music box Keep on playin' your music box Sweet music to worry the wolf away. So happy will we appear He will know he's not wanted here Your music could worry a wolf away. So keep on playin' that grand pian-a Until he's away He'll have to go if you  *** those keys away. Oh, honey, but we will grin When the money comes rolling in Sweet music to worry the wolf away. Oscar : When I remind you what --- made his fiddle do, You'll get an inkling of what this kid'll do. Nanette : Well, I want to tell you my friend that You just radiate When you run your fingers up and down That eighty-eight. Both : We'll sleep on our wedding cake We'll be two who can really make Sweet music!  Opera music! Hot music! Oscar : Crazy music! Nanette : Lazy music! Oscar : Hipster music! Nanette : Stripster music! Nanette : Blue music! Oscar : Low-down music! Nanette : New music! Oscar : Hold-down music! Nanette : Glad music! Oscar : Pretty music! Nanette : Mad music! Oscar : Dirty music! Sweet music forever more! To worry (2) To make him go out and worry To worry the wolf from our door. 3. That's Entertainment  Sung by Oscar Levant, Nanette Fabray,  Fred Astaire and jack Buchanan Jack : Everything that happens in life Can happen in a show You can make 'em laugh You can make 'em cry Anything Anything can go.... The clown with his pants falling down Or the dance that's a dream of romance Or the scene where the villain is mean That's entertainment! Nanette : The lights on the lady in tights Oscar : Or the bride with the guy on the side Jack : Or the ball where she gives him her all All : That's entertainment! Nanette : The plot and the hot simply teeming with sex Oscar : A gay divorcee who is after her ex Fred : It could be Oedipus Rex Jack :  Where a chap kills his father  And causes a lot of bother Nanette : The clerk who is thrown out of work Oscar : By the boss who is thrown for a loss Fred : By the skirt who is doing him dirt All :  The world is a stage,  The stage is a world of entertainment. That's entertainment! That's entertainment! The doubt while the jury is out Or the thrill when they're reading the will Or the chase for the man with the face That's entertainment! Nanette : The dame who is known as the flame Jack : Of the king of an underworld ring Oscar and Fred :  He's an ape Who won't let her escape All : That's entertainment! It might be a fight like you see on the screen A swain getting slain for the love of a queen Some great Shakespearean scene Where a ghost and a prince meet And everyone ends in mincemeat. The gag may be waving the flag That began with a mystical hand Hip hooray!  The American way The world is a stage,  The stage is a world of entertainment  4. Two-Faced Woman  Sung by India Adams (for Cyd Charisse) but cut from THE BANDWAGON (1953)  Originally sung by India Adams for Joan Crawford in TORCH SONG (1953) I don't know why they scold me For doing what I'm trying not to do No man can ever hold me And yet I never mean to be untrue Someday I will wake up Find out what is wrong With my dual make-up I don't belong. I can't help being a two-faced woman A little bit of boldness A little bit of sweetness A little bit of coldness A little bit of heatness Don't fall in love with a two-faced woman Givin' you a warnin' I'll leave you in the mornin' Got another lover under cover I'm like a weather vane That goes with the breeze My disposition makes me do as I please That's why they call me a two-faced woman A little bit of day And a little bit of night A little bit of sad And a little bit of bright A little bit of goodness A little bit of badness A little bit of wrong and right.  A little bit of day And a little bit of night A little bit of sad And a little bit of bright. A little bit of boldness A little bit of sweetness A little bit of coldness A little bit of heatness They call me two-faced woman. Dancing in the Dark Dancing in the dark 'til the tune ends We're dancing in the dark and it soon ends We're waltzing in the wonder of why we're here Time hurries by, we're here and we're gone Looking for the light of a new love To brighten up the night, I have you love And we can face the music together Dancing in the dark What - though love is old What - though song is old Through them we can be young Hear this heart of mine Wailin' all the time Dear one, tell me that we're one Looking for the light of a new love To brighten up the night, I have you love And we can face the music together Dancing in the dark, dancing in the dark Dancing in the dark