15 Ways Philip Morris is "Working to Make a Difference" Joke

15 Ways Philip Morris is "Working to Make a Difference" 15. Virginia Slims cigarette paper now ribbed for her pleasure.14. Quality programming for kids provided by new "Nick-o-Teen"cable network.13. Hiring O.J. Simpson's detectives to find "the real killers"of smokers.12. Launching of the Chinese "Joe Panda" campaign.11. Buying up all existing copies of "The Insider" and donatingthem to deserving children from Borneo and Tibet.10. "Marlboro Miles" can no longer be used to purchase Pokemonproducts.9. For every 1,000 cartons sold, 1 carton donated to the AmericanCancer Society.8. "Benson & Hedges" brand renamed to more kid-friendly "Calvin &Hobbes."7. For poor people who can't afford to eat *and* smoke, freecigarette included in Kraft Macaroni & Cheese boxes.6. New slogan: "Cigarettes don't kill people - GUNS kill people!"5. Considering a campaign to keep cigarettes out of the hands ofpregnant mothers.4. Investing millions in ad campaign: "A Big Mac?! Christ,that'll REALLY kill ya!"3. Raleigh's new William Morris Park paved with tar exhumed fromYul Brynner's lungs.2. Bribes for politicians now wrapped in 100% recycled envelopes.1. New ad campaign for 2000: "You don't have to smoke justbecause all the really cool kids do."By Steve