Tricks for Treats

♪♪ WHADDA YOU THINK? AH! MOM MADE IT. WELL, IT CERTAINLY LOOKS VERY WELL-CONSTRUCTED. IF I PUT ONE FOOT INTO THAT COSTUME PARTY DRESSED LIKE THIS, THEY'LL TEAR ME APART! NO, NO THEY WON'T! THEY'LL GRATE YOU, AND SERVE YOU WITH SOME RAISINS. (laughing) I'M KIDDING, REALLY. YOU LOOK GOOD. YOU LOOK... TASTY. WHATCHA GOT IN YOUR GOODY BASKET THERE? CAROB CLUSTERS, GRANOLA BALLS, AND PICKLED QUAIL EGGS. YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT? YOU SET FOOT IN A PARTY WITH THAT STUFF, AND THOSE KIDS ARE GONNA TEAR YOU APART! OH, SO A CARROT SUIT'S OKAY, BUT GRANOLA BALLS WILL GET ME KILLED? IN MORE WAYS THAN YOUR YOUNG MIND CAN BEGIN TO FATHOM. TRUST ME ON THIS -- I KNOW. HOW'S THAT? THOSE CAROB THINGS -- I RECOGNIZE 'EM. IT'S YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S RECIPE. LOOK, YOU'VE GOTTA LET ME REPLACE THIS CANDY! WITH STORE-BOUGHT? NO, NOT WITH STORE-BOUGHT! FORGET IT. LOOK, I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL. YOU LET ME REPLACE THIS CANDY, AND I'LL REPLACE THAT CRUDITIÉS PLATTER YOU'RE WEARING. WITH SOMETHING GOOD AND SCARY? WITH SOMETHING GOOD AND SCARY! DEAL? COOL! DEAL. YOU RUN OFF TO SCHOOL, AND BY THE TIME YOU GET HOME, I WILL HAVE REPLACED ALL OF THIS NOXIOUS HIPPIE CHOW WITH SOME SERIOUSLY TANTALIZING AND TERRIFYING... ♪♪ ♪♪ BRITTLES ARE FASCINATING BECAUSE THEY ARE ESSENTIALLY THE GLASS OF THE CANDY WORLD. I MEAN, SURE, THEY TASTE BETTER THAN GLASS, BUT THEY'RE BRITTLE LIKE GLASS, THEY'LL SHATTER LIKE GLASS, AND SOMETIMES THEY'RE EVEN AS TRANSPARENT AS GLASS. NOT SURPRISINGLY, THE MANUFACTURING SIMILARITIES ARE UNCANNY. FOR INSTANCE, WHEN YOU MAKE GLASS, YOU'RE BASICALLY MELTING DOWN SILICA CRYSTALS -- SAND -- TO MAKE AN AMORPHOUS SOLID. IN BRITTLE-MAKING, YOU'RE MELTING DOWN A LOT OF SUGAR CRYSTALS TO MAKE AN AMORPHOUS SOLID. ♪♪ AND ODDLY ENOUGH, THEY CAN BOTH GET MESSED UP THE SAME WAY. IF THE VESSEL THEY'RE COOKED IN IS DIRTY, IF THE MIXTURE ITSELF IS IMPURE, IF IT'S AGITATED AT THE WRONG TIME, LITTLE BABY CRYSTALS CAN BE FORMED IN THE MIXTURE, AND AS THEY COOK, THESE LITTLE CRYSTALS CAN GROW INTO BIGGER AND BIGGER CRYSTALS, AND EVENTUALLY, YOUR NICE, CLEAR GLASS STARTS LOOKING MORE LIKE A SHOWER DOOR, AND YOUR BRITTLE STARTS LOOKING MORE LIKE A PRALINE -- WHICH IS NICE, BUT IT'S NOT A BRITTLE. NOW A COUPLE OF THINGS ARE NEEDED TO GET AROUND THIS PROBLEM. ONE IS JUST PLAIN OLD-FASHIONED KNOW-HOW. THE OTHER? DECENT TOOLS. IN THE CASE OF BRITTLE, YOU'RE GONNA NEED A NICE, HEAVY-DUTY PAN. I LIKE A SAUCIER BECAUSE THE SHAPE HELPS TO CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT FOR EVAPORATION. IT'S GONNA NEED A NICE, TIGHT LID, AND YOU'RE ALSO GONNA NEED A GOOD, WOODEN SPOON. WHY WOOD? BECAUSE WOOD DOESN'T CONDUCT HEAT, AND THAT'S GOOD FOR THE CANDY, AS WELL AS THE HAND THAT STIRS IT. SOFTWARE BEGINS WITH JUST A LITTLE BIT OF VEGETABLE OIL ON THE SIDE OF THE POT. THAT'S GOING TO PREVENT ANY SUGAR CRYSTALS THAT ARE PLANTED THERE FROM THE BOILING BREW FROM GROWING INTO BIGGER CRYSTALS AND THROWING OFF THE TEXTURE. THEN, 3 CUPS OF SUGAR AND 1 1/2 CUPS OF WATER. NOW SINCE SYRUPS GET REALLY, REALLY THICK AND CAN'T BE STIRRED DURING MOST OF THE COOKING PROCESS, EVEN HEAT FROM BELOW IS CRUCIAL. NOW HEAVY-DUTY PANS -- ESPECIALLY CLAD PANS, WHICH CONTAIN A LAYER OF ALUMINUM OR COPPER IN BETWEEN LAYERS OF STEEL -- WILL EVEN OUT THE HEAT CONSIDERABLY. BUT IF YOU DON'T TRUST YOUR PANS OR IF YOUR STOVETOP TENDS TO HAVE HOTSPOTS, CONSIDER EMPLOYING ANOTHER PAN AS A HEAT DIFFUSER. CAST-IRON IS A REALLY GOOD ONE. THERE WE GO -- NOW WE APPLY HIGH HEAT AND JUST STIR THIS OCCASIONALLY AS IT COMES TO A BOIL. ♪♪ NOW AS YOU CAN SEE, OUR MIXTURE HAS COME TO A BOIL, AND THE PATTERN OF BUBBLES LEAVING THE BOTTOM OF THE PAN IS VERY, VERY EVEN. THAT IS BECAUSE WE'RE USING A HEAT DIFFUSER. NOW THE BUBBLES ARE GOING TO BE BIGGER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE BOIL, AND ALTHOUGH WE DID LUBE UP THE SIDE OF THE PAN, THERE'S GONNA BE A LOT OF SUGAR THROWN UP ON THE SIDE OF IT. SO I'M GOING TO COVER THIS FOR AT LEAST THREE MINUTES. THAT WAY SOME OF THE STEAM WILL CONDENSE AND RUN BACK DOWN THE SIDE, CLEANING THE PAN. THREE MINUTES ARE UP. TIME TO CLAMP ON OUR CANDY THERMOMETER... OR MAYBE NOT. TRUTH IS, WHEN IT COMES TO BRITTLES, YOU CAN GENERALLY SKIP THE TECHNOLOGY AND TRUST YOUR EYES. WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR HERE IS A LIGHT AMBER, OKAY? THAT'LL KIND OF SIGNAL US THAT THE RIGHT CONCENTRATION HAS BEEN REACHED. BUT DO NOT SHAKE, TOUCH, STIR, OR MOVE THIS PAN IN ANY WAY. AT THIS POINT, EVEN ONE LITTLE ERRANT CRYSTAL COULD TRIGGER A CONFECTIONARY CATASTROPHE AND WE DON'T WANT THAT, SO TURN YOUR HEAT DOWN TO MEDIUM AND WAIT. DON'T STRAY FAR. OF COURSE, YOU COULD GO ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE KITCHEN. TRADITIONAL BRITTLES -- AT LEAST, DOWN HERE IN THE SOUTH, WHERE I LIVE -- CALL FOR RAW PEANUTS, WHICH ARE, OF COURSE, COOKED BY THE MOLTEN SUGAR. BUT THESE DAYS RAW PEANUTS CAN BE A LITTLE TOUGH TO FIND, SO YOU JUST GO WITH A LIGHTLY SALTED, ROASTED PEANUTS. OR, YOU CAN USE OTHER NUTS... AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIMIT YOURSELF TO NUTS. SEEDS, LIKE SUNFLOWER SEEDS AND EVEN PUMPKIN SEEDS, MAKE DARN GOOD BRITTLE FODDER. BUT TODAY, I THINK WE'LL JUST STICK WITH THE CLASSICS. OW. ♪♪ TIME TO ATTEND TO THE REST OF OUR HARDWARE NEEDS. TWO HALF-SHEET PANS -- ONE LINED WITH EITHER PARCHMENT PAPER, OR PREFERABLY, A SILICONE-IMPREGNATED FIBERGLASS BAKING MAT AVAILABLE AT MOST KITCHEN STORES. THIS PAN WE WILL INVERT AND LIBERALLY LUBRICATE WITH CANOLA OR VEGETABLE OIL, AND I DO MEAN LIBERALLY. YOU WANT TO GET ALL THE WAY UP ONTO THE SIDES OF THE PAN. NOTHING IS GOING TO STICK TO THIS. THERE WE GO. OKAY, LAST-MINUTE SOFTWARE PREP. WE HAVE 1 1/2 CUPS OF LIGHTLY SALTED PEANUTS. TO THAT WE WILL ADD 1/2 TEASPOON OF GROUND CINNAMON. "NO BIG SURPRISE THERE," YOU SAY? FINE, HOW ABOUT 1/2 TEASPOON OF CAYENNE PEPPER... HA HA HA HA HA. NO, IT'S NOT EXACTLY... ORTHODOX, BUT I LIKE TO TAKE A CUE FROM OUR FRIENDS DOWN TO THE SOUTH WHO KNOW THAT ADDING HEAT TO SWEETS ALMOST ALWAYS EQUALS GOOD EATS. NOW WE WILL GO AND WAIT ON THE SYRUP, AND WAIT WE MUST, BECAUSE ONCE IT HITS LIGHT AMBER, IT'LL NEVER RETURN, AND IT'LL BE TOO LATE. ♪♪ ♪♪ THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR -- LIGHT AMBER, VERY, VERY SLOW-BUBBLING, AND IF YOU DID PUT A THERMOMETER IN THERE, I'D SAY ABOUT 350 DEGREES. I WANNA STOP THE COOKING, SO I'M GONNA TURN OFF THE HEAT AND DUMP IN THE PEANUTS ALL AT ONCE AND GIVE THAT A GOOD STIR. NOW WE REALLY DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CRYSTALLIZATION AT THIS POINT BECAUSE THIS COLOR TELLS US THAT MANY OF THE ORIGINAL SUCROSE MOLECULES HAVE BEEN DAMAGED BY THE HIGH HEAT -- SO MUCH SO THAT THEY CAN NO LONGER FORM CRYSTALS BECAUSE THEY'RE NO LONGER THAT MUCH ALIKE. LUCKY FOR US, THE NEW COMPOUNDS BEING FORMED HERE HAVE MORE FLAVOR COMPLEXITY AND SWEETNESS THAN THE ORIGINAL SUGAR HAD. THERE, I'M GONNA VERY, VERY CAREFULLY MOVE THIS TO A TOWEL, AND I'M JUST GONNA PULL THAT ALONG AS KIND OF A SAFETY MEASURE. AND NOW POUR STRAIGHT OUT ON THE PAD. AND SMOOTH OUT THE NUTS TO EVENLY DISTRIBUTE THEM... IT'S GONNA SET UP REALLY QUICKLY, SO YOU DON'T WANNA TAKE YOUR TIME HERE. KIND OF FOLD THE PART THAT FLOWS OUT BACK ONTO THE BRITTLE. AND THEN, JUST TO MAKE SURE THAT THE NUTS ARE ONLY STACKED ONE DEEP, WE ADD THE PAN. AND NOW GENTLY PUSH DOWN JUST TO DISTRIBUTE THE NUTS. MAKE SURE IT STAYS FLAT. ♪♪ YOU KNOW, WHEN IT COMES TO PEANUT BRITTLE, THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE -- THERE ARE BITERS, AND THERE ARE LICKERS. ME, I'M KIND OF A LICKER, I GUESS. HOW MANY LICKS DO YOU THINK IT TAKES TO EAT A PIECE OF PEANUT BRITTLE LIKE THIS? LET'S FIND OUT, SHALL WE? ONE... TWO... THREE... THREE -- IT TAKES THREE LICKS TO EAT THIS PIECE OF PEANUT BRITTLE. ♪♪ ALTHOUGH MOST OF TODAY'S CONFECTIONS SUFFER FROM AN ALMOST OVERWHELMING SENSE OF SWEETNESS, ONCE UPON A TIME THE MOST POPULAR TREATS ACTUALLY BALANCED SWEETNESS WITH TARTNESS. MY FAVORITE OF THESE EDIBLE ANTIQUES? LEMON JELLIES -- LOVE 'EM, ALTHOUGH I DO THINK THEY COULD BE A LITTLE CHEWIER AND A WHOLE LOT TARTER. OUR SOFTWARE INCLUDES... THAT'S PLAIN OL', POWDERED, UNFLAVORED GELATIN. NOW BEFORE THESE LITTLE BEAUTIES CAN DO THEIR MAGIC, THEY HAVE TO BE DISSOLVED, AND IN ORDER TO DISSOLVE, THEY'VE GOT TO BE SOAKED IN A COLD LIQUID. THINK OF THEM AS KIND OF THE DRIED BEANS OF THE THICKENING WORLD. THERE ARE PLENTY OF WAYS TO MAKE JELLIES, BUT I PREFER THE BINARY APPROACH IN WHICH ONE SEPARATES THE LIQUIDS INTO TWO DISTINCT TEAMS. HERE, WE HAVE THE LIME JUICE, THE LEMON JUICE, AND 1/2 CUP OF THE WATER SOAKING INTO THE EIGHT ENVELOPES OF GELATIN. NOW IT DOESN'T LOOK VERY APPETIZING RIGHT NOW. THAT'S OKAY -- THIS IS WHAT YOU WANNA SEE. THIS GETS NO HEAT. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE EQUATION, HOWEVER, WE HAVE 1 CUP OF OUR SUGAR, ALONG WITH 3/4 CUP OF THE WATER IN A PAN OVER THE HEAT DIFFUSER. THE DIFFUSER GETS HIGH HEAT, AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO BABY-SIT THIS A LITTLE. AS IT WARMS UP, WE WANNA STIR IT EVERY NOW AND THEN UNTIL ALL THE SUGAR CRYSTALS HAVE DISSOLVED. NOW YOU CAN SEE BY THE PATTERN OF BUBBLES LEAVING THE BOTTOM OF THE PAN THAT IT'S VERY, VERY EVEN, OKAY? THAT'S BECAUSE OF THE HEAT DIFFUSER. WHEN YOU SEE A BOIL, SLAP ON THE LID AND WAIT FOR THREE MINUTES, OKAY? THAT'LL TRAP STEAM INSIDE THE CONTAINER, AND THAT'LL CONDENSE UP AT THE TOP AND RUN DOWN THE SIDES AND HELP WASH AWAY ANY CRYSTALS. CRYSTALS AT THIS POINT WOULD BE BAD. ♪♪ AFTER THREE MINUTES, SLAP ON YOUR CANDY OR FRY THERMOMETER. WE'RE LOOKING FOR A FINAL TEMPERATURE OF 300 DEGREES HERE. FOR YOU OLD-FASHIONED, WILLY-WONKA TYPES, THAT'S THE HARD-CRACK STAGE. AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T SHAKE THE PAN AROUND A LOT RIGHT NOW -- YOU COULD FORM SEED CRYSTALS, AND THAT WOULD LEAD TO A GRAINY DESSERT, NOT A SMOOTH JELLY. AS SOON AS YOU HIT 300 DEGREES, REMOVE YOUR THERMOMETER AND MOVE YOUR SYRUP VERY CAREFULLY OVER TO THE GELATIN AND POUR IT IN. THERE WILL BE A LITTLE BIT OF FOAMING -- THAT'S OKAY. NOW STIRRING CONSTANTLY, WE'RE GONNA MOVE THE GELATIN MIXTURE BACK OVER TO THE HEAT DIFFUSER, THEN TURN THE HEAT DOWN TO LOW. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO STIR CONSTANTLY FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF MINUTES. ONCE THE GELATIN HAS DISSOLVED, ADD THE LEMON ZEST AND THE LIME ZEST, AND THEN GET THIS INTO THE BAKING PAN. YOU CAN LUBRICATE THAT WITH SOME NO-STICK SPRAY IF YOU LIKE, OR YOU CAN JUST USE A NONSTICK PAN. ♪♪ TURN YOUR SLAB OF GELATIN OUT AND CONTEMPLATE CUTTING. OOH, I WOULDN'T USE A PARING KNIFE. YEAH, THERE YOU GO -- A PIZZA CUTTER OR A PASTRY CUTTER WILL DO THE JOB NICELY. JUST CUT THE SLAB INTO 1-INCH STRIPS, THUSLY. THEN TURN 90 DEGREES AND REPEAT, CREATING LOTS AND LOTS OF LITTLE 1-INCH CUBES OF JOY. NOW JUST SCOOP THEM UP WITH A BENCH SCRAPER OR A SHEETROCK TOOL, AND POUR THEM INTO THE REMAINING SUGAR. TOSS TO COAT, AND THEN SCATTER THE PIECES OUT ONTO A COOLING RACK TO DRY. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ LIKE MOST OF THE KIDS OF MY GENERATION, THIS WAS MY FAVORITE CANDY GROWING UP. I KNOW, IT DOESN'T HAVE ITS WRAPPER ON, BUT I'M BETTIN' THAT YOU RECOGNIZE IT. YEP, I LOVED IT BECAUSE IT WAS DELICIOUS, I LOVED IT BECAUSE IT WAS CHEAP, AND I LOVED IT BECAUSE IT LASTED ALL AFTERNOON. OF COURSE, I DIDN'T REALLY REALIZE IT AT THE TIME, BUT I WAS REALLY JUST EATING CHOCOLATE TAFFY. NOW TAFFY IS UNIQUE IN THE CULINARY WORLD -- NOT BECAUSE OF WHAT GOES INTO IT OR EVEN HOW THOSE INGREDIENTS ARE COOKED, BUT BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENS TO IT AS IT COOLS. FOR THE DRY TEAM, WE HAVE... NOW I LIKE TO THOROUGHLY COMBINE THESE BEFORE ADDING THE WET WORKS, SO I'M JUST GONNA GRAB A WHISK HERE. THERE WE GO. NOW... BUT WE'RE GONNA HOLD THAT BUTTER OFF FOR LATER. LAST BUT NOT LEAST... SEEMS LIKE A STRANGE THING TO PUT IN CANDY, BUT THE ACIDITY WILL HELP TO CUT THE SWEETNESS OF THE FINISHED TAFFY, AND IT WILL ALSO HELP TO SPLIT THE SUCROSE MOLECULES OR INVERT THEM, MAKING IT NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR THEM TO CRYSTALLIZE DURING OR AFTER COOKING. AS SOON AS YOU'VE GOT A BOIL, DROP THE HEAT TO LOW. WHY? WELL, THIS IS VERY, VERY VISCOUS STUFF ALREADY, AND BIG BUBBLES ARE GOING TO ERUPT VIOLENTLY AND THROW STUFF ALL OVER THE COUNTER AND MAYBE EVEN YOU, SO STAY WITH LOW, OR MEDIUM-LOW, AT BEST. SINCE IT'S DARK, COLOR'S NOT GONNA REALLY HELP US VERY MUCH WITH TEMPERATURE CONTROL, SO IT'S TIME TO EMPLOY TECHNOLOGY. WHIP OUT YOUR TRUSTY CANDY THERMOMETER AND START WATCHING FOR 260 DEGREES. THAT'S A HARDBALL STAGE. IT'S GONNA TAKE A FEW MINUTES. WHEN YOU HIT 260 DEGREES, REMOVE CAREFULLY YOUR THERMOMETER AND STIR IN THE BUTTER. THERE WE GO. NOW WE CAREFULLY MOVE OVER TO OUR TOWEL, SLIDE OVER... BUT BEFORE WE POUR, A LITTLE ADDED INSURANCE. JUST RUB A LITTLE BUTTER RIGHT AROUND THE SIDE OF THE PAN WHERE THE SILICONE DON'T GO, REPLACE THE MAT, AND SPOON ON THE GOODNESS. DON'T WORRY IF YOU STILL SEE A LITTLE BIT OF THE BUTTER FLOATING ON THERE -- THAT'S OKAY. AND SMOOTH IT OUT. NOW THIS IS TOO HOT TO PULL RIGHT NOW, SO WE'RE GOING TO LET THIS SIT FOR 10 TO 15 MINUTES. YEAH, I SAID PULL . TIME TO DON SOME NONSTICK PROTECTION IN THE FORM OF VINYL FOOD SERVICE GLOVES AND A LITTLE BIT OF BUTTER. NOW START BY FOLDING OVER THE MAT INTO THIRDS, THUS FOLDING THE CHOCOLATE INTO THIRDS. THEN FOLD IT OVER INTO THIRDS AGAIN AND KNEAD, JUST LIKE YOU WOULD A BREAD DOUGH. THEN START PULLING -- PULL OUT, FOLD INTO THE MIDDLE, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. AFTER WORKING IT DOWN ON A TABLE FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES, YOU CAN START STRETCHING IN MID-AIR, WHICH IS GOOD, BECAUSE... WELL, NOT ONLY IS IT FUN, BUT IT HELPS THE TAFFY TO COOL DOWN FASTER. NOW I LIKE TO JUST GIVE IT A TWIST WITH EACH TURN. NOW THIS IS A LOT OF FUN. OF COURSE, AFTER A WHILE, THE NOVELTY KIND OF WEARS OFF, AND... (door opening and closing) (Elton) UNCLE ALTON... HEY, THE MANUAL LABOR'S ARRIVED. WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THIS? AHHH... BECAUSE IT'S FUN. YOU KNOW, YOUR GRANDMOTHER USED TO GO TO TAFFY PULLS WHEN SHE WAS A KID. IT WAS A BIG SOCIAL THING BACK THEN. (sighing) DIDN'T THEY HAVE TV? NO. COMPUTERS? NO. STEREOS? NO. WELL, DO YOU SEE A PATTERN HERE? YES, AND IT LEADS TO YOU GETTING GROUNDED. NOW KEEP PULLING THAT TAFFY. WE HAVE TO FULLY AERATE IT IF IT'S GONNA BE NICE AND SOFT AND CREAMY. HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO PULL? 'TIL RIGHT BEFORE YOU THINK YOUR ARMS ARE GONNA FALL OFF... HEH HEH HEH. BROTHER. ♪♪ ♪♪ THERE, SEE, WHEN IT STARTS LOOKING KIND OF STRINGY INSIDE LIKE THAT, THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE DONE. CAN I GO TRY ON MY COSTUME NOW? YES, YOU CAN GO TRY ON YOUR COSTUME NOW, I'LL FINISH UP. IT'S UPSTAIRS. KIDS -- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? NOW IF YOU DO HAVE TO STOP PULLING TO, YOU KNOW, ANSWER THE DOOR, LET OUT THE DOG -- THAT KIND OF THING -- THE STUFF WILL SET UP ON YOU. IF THAT HAPPENS, JUST POP IT IN THE MICROWAVE ON HIGH FOR ABOUT TEN SECONDS -- IT'LL BUY YOU SOME MORE TIME. NOW THIS IS LOOKING PRETTY GOSH-DARN GOOD. SEE, IT'S NOT REALLY SHINY ANYMORE, BUT IT'S KIND OF GOT A SHEEN, ALMOST LIKE A... WHAT IS IT... TIGER'S-EYE, THAT ROCK. THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE GETTING THE STRUCTURE RIGHT AND YOU'RE GETTING ENOUGH AIR WORKED INTO IT. NOW I'M GOING TO STRETCH THIS A COUPLE MORE TIMES AND THEN ROLL IT INTO A LOG. FOR THIS, SCISSORS ARE THE ONLY WAY TO GO, AND THE SHARPER, THE BETTER. THIS IS STILL WARM ENOUGH TO WHERE I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE TO GREASE THE SCISSORS, BUT IT WOULDN'T BE A BAD IDEA. AND SINCE I'M GONNA BE WORKING ON THIS PAD, I'M GONNA PUT OUT A PIECE OF PARCHMENT FOR THOSE. THERE... NOW. JUST PRETEND YOU'RE BACK IN KINDERGARTEN AND MAKE YOURSELF A NICE PLAY-DOH SNAKE. NOW START SNIPPING 'EM OFF. I DON'T LIKE MINE MORE THAN ABOUT 1 INCH, AND MAKE YOUR SNIPS REALLY SHORT AND FAST, OR ELSE THE CANDY WILL DEFINITELY STICK TO THE SCISSORS. NOW IF THE CANDY GETS TOO HARD TO CUT WHILE YOU'RE WORKING WITH IT, JUST PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE FOR ABOUT FIVE SECONDS TO LOOSEN IT UP. YOU DEFINITELY WANNA KEEP THESE PIECES SAFELY SEPARATED -- THERE -- 'CAUSE THEY WILL STICK TO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING... IF THE WEATHER IS WARM OR HUMID. THE ONE THING THEY WON'T STICK TO, HOWEVER, IS WAX PAPER, WHICH IS MY FAVORITE CONTAINMENT UNIT. JUST CUT YOURSELF A LITTLE RECTANGLE, PLACE THE TARGET FOOD IN THE MIDDLE, WRAP IT OVER, AND GIVE EACH END A COUPLE OF TWISTS. THERE, A SAFELY QUARANTINED CONFECTION. YOUR ONLY OTHER REAL OPTION -- THE CELLOPHANE BAGS THAT THEY SELL AT CANDYMAKING AND CRAFT STORES. AW, IT'S CUTE. YOU CALL THIS A COSTUME? AAAH! NOW THAT'S SCARY. A CHEF. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU'RE A FRENCH CHEF, OKAY? AND 'TIL GREAT WHITE SHARKS FIGURE OUT HOW TO CATCH RABIES, THAT IS GONNA BE THE SCARIEST THING ON EARTH. WELL, IT BEATS A CARROT. BESIDES, I HEAR CHICKS DIG CHEFS. HEH HEH HEY, TRUST ME, KID, THE WAY TO ANY WOMAN'S HEART, BE SHE... I DON'T KNOW, WITCH OR WONDER WOMAN, PRINCESS OR POCAHONTAS, IS THROUGH HER STOMACH. NOW HERE YOU GO -- GO FORTH AND TERRIFY. WHAT'S ALL THIS STUFF? WELL, LET'S SEE, WE'VE GOT ATOMIC PEANUT BRITTLE, WE'VE GOT SOME GUMMY ACID DROPS, AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, CHOCOLATY LOCKJAW ROLLS. SOUNDS LIKE SOME COOL EATS, UNC. CORRECTION, CHEF -- IT SOUNDS LIKE GOOD EATS. Captioned by Scripps Networks, Inc.