K - Town s2, ep. 2 of 7 - I am king

-Bust out your cell phone everyone. -That's hot. That's hot. -Oh yeah. -Look at each other. Look at each other. YOUNG: What the [BLEEP] is my wife doing? [MUSIC PLAYING] VIOLET: Thank you for bringing Tyler here. YOUNG: No way, man. Tyler, I'm going to tell you, the best place you'll ever imagine in your life, OK? VIOLET: Tyler loves anything to do with superheroes. So I knew the perfect person to call was Young. Because I had no idea where to take him for all that stuff. YOUNG: Everybody knows that I'm the biggest nerd in the whole crew. Ready? Set? Let's go. VIOLET: Wow. YOUNG: I take her to my favorite place. It's called Meltdown. It's like the nerd mansion there, nerd heaven, you get nerdgasm and stuff. Dude, damn. [INAUDIBLE] VIOLET: [SPEAKING KOREAN] YOUNG: Huh? VIOLET: Are you OK? You're acting just like Tyler right now. YOUNG: I want a boy like Tyler now. If Soyu ever gets pregnant, I want her to get a baby, not as an infant, but just when it comes out, just like that. Boom. And he stays at his age for the rest of his life. VIOLET: You know what I always say? I say men aren't ready to get married until they start paying attention to kids. I know you're in a good place. And I can see that you love kids. You and Tyler, it's amazing. I see that. I notice that Young is more mellow than he usually is. And I knew that something was on his mind. YOUNG: I just feel like I have to be more responsible. I have to be-- VIOLET: Well of course. But I think that all just comes naturally. I don't think you should step away from who you are. You shouldn't focus so much on trying to be the perfect man. Because to her, you already are. Just don't let go of your youth. I know you got married young, Young. YOUNG: Violet's advice actually made me feel a lot better. Because, coming from her-- she's been married before-- and actually kind of helped me out a lot. You want to read over there? TYLER: Yeah, let's read over there. YOUNG: All right. TYLER: First want to be done wins. YOUNG: All right, ready? TYLER: [INAUDIBLE] done. YOUNG: You didn't even touch your book. VIOLET: What does this say? TYLER: Great grandma. YOUNG: Violet is such a great mother. And Tyler is just a little badass. TYLER: You have to leave me completely alone for a whole month. VIOLET: What is that anyways? [INAUDIBLE] TYLER: Can I call you daddy? [LAUGHTER] YOUNG: Thor! TYLER: Ow, ow, ow. YOUNG: Oh, does it hurt? Sorry. WAITRESS: Hi, welcome to So Hyang. How many people? CHRISTINE: I'm taking So Young, Young, and So Young's mom to So Hyang. This is the place we're getting the food catered from, so you guys can taste. YOUNG: Oh, that's why we're here. Oh. CHRISTINE: This is the restaurant. YOUNG: Wait, so we're getting lobster tails and [INAUDIBLE] an everything? CHRISTINE: I hope so. There are other people that wanted to come for the tasting, especially Joe, but he doesn't need to be there. I'm not going to let him come and just eat all the food and do nothing. So no. -Do you have any questions about the wedding? SO YOUNG'S MOM: [SPEAKING KOREAN] CHRISTINE: [SPEAKING KOREAN] SO YOUNG'S MOM: [SPEAKING KOREAN] CHRISTINE: So Young's mom is stressing me out. YOUNG: [SPEAKING KOREAN] SO YOUNG'S MOM: [SPEAKING KOREAN] YOUNG: Wow. She wants a soul train. She brought the soul train from Korea. CHRISTINE: [KOREAN], it means just like the first time. SO YOUNG'S MOM: [SPEAKING KOREAN] CHRISTINE: I was so relieved when she said let's do the soul train, because I needed a drink. Too many questions. Too many questions. SO YOUNG'S MOM: [SPEAKING KOREAN] YOUNG: Bumpkin? That's what she thought the whole time? [SPEAKING KOREAN] SO YOUNG'S MOM: [SPEAKING KOREAN] YOUNG: When she first saw me, she was like, oh, he's so cute. Oh, look at this guy. He's so awesome. I didn't know she was thinking about that the whole time. But you know what, honestly, she can say all of that. But in the end, I still win. Because I got the daughter. I take her home. And we're getting babies, a lot. SO YOUNG'S MOM: [SPEAKING KOREAN] CHRISTINE: [SPEAKING KOREAN] SO YOUNG'S MOM: [SPEAKING KOREAN] YOUNG: [SPEAKING KOREAN] SO YOUNG'S MOM: [SPEAKING KOREAN] CHRISTINE: Let's take a shot to that. To So Young's happiness. It's all you now. Young is such a great guy. Everybody wants him to pursue his dream. But for him to give that up, I think is probably the greatest gift that he can give to So Young. YOUNG: My beautiful wife. CHRISTINE: [SPEAKING KOREAN] YOUNG: [SPEAKING KOREAN] CHRISTINE: [SPEAKING KOREAN] SO YOUNG: [SPEAKING KOREAN] YOUNG: [SPEAKING KOREAN] SO YOUNG'S MOM: [SPEAKING KOREAN] YOUNG: [SPEAKING KOREAN] [MUSIC PLAYING] JOE: We're gong to do a big soul train. So I need 25 cups and 25-- -25, Joe? JOE: 25. -That's too much, Joe. JOE: No, we've got to do more than the last one. The last one we did 18. STEVE: We're setting up the mega soul train. This one is the biggest, craziest soul train that we've ever done. JOE: There's a twist to this one this time. We're doing a drinking game. The reason why there's 25 is in the middle I'm going to have that glowing ice cube. We've got 12 on each side. One team will drink 12. The other team will drink 12, one by one, one by one. And whoever drinks this last one wins. We're going do rock paper scissors to divide the teams. One, two, three. [BLEEP] JOE: [CHEERING] I got first pick. Since I won, obviously I'm going to pick the best drinker. Steve Kim. SO YOUNG: Yeah, what's up. JOE: You're on my team. Come on. Knowing that Scarlet doesn't like Jowe, she picked one of the girls, and I picked Jowe. It worked. It worked. It worked. It was an easy path to victory. Christine. Young is the only guy in our group. JOE: So I decided to pick Christine as my fourth member. Given that we fought earlier, I think it was a good time for us to be friendly. JASMINE: Joe swears that he can win anything and everything, because he is so competitive. SCARLET: But ultimately when you play a drinking game, it's all about just getting trashed. [TECHNO MUSIC] SCARLET: Can we drink now? I'm thirsty. ALL: One, two, three. JOE: Go! Go, go. Go. Go, go, keep going. Drink it. Hurry up and drink it. Just drink-- Oh my god, [INAUDIBLE] You guys are cheating. You guys-- oh my god. One by one. You can't-- you guys can't even-- one by one, you cheaters. -You're cheating. JOE: You're so cheating. Wow. You guys-- oh ***. The other team, they just cheated. The point of the game is to drink one cup by one cup. As soon as they got to the third cup, they all started grabbing cups. No. That was a fail. There's no way you guys won. No, no. SCARLET: Y'all are too serious. It's just a drinking game. The whole point is to get drunk. Joe was being a sore loser. Like no, you're the one that cheated. Sorry you can't drink as fast as us, OK? So get your *** together. JOE: That's fine. I'm down-- STEVE: He likes that. He loves that. JOE: So the punishment for the whole drinking game-- even though we won because we didn't cheat-- was to make a bandana out of a napkin. And I don't know what the whole point of that was. I think everyone looks good in a bandana. -Hey, [INAUDIBLE] do I look like you? STEVE: [INAUDIBLE] JOE: I guess. STEVE: The Asian Tupac? -Yay. JOE: Cheaters, cheaters. Well that was a complete fail. But let's go get some food and drinks. And we've got to talk about you guys' wedding. So let's go. [MUSIC] -Wow. Here we go. Round two. JOE: So I decided to invite Jessica, my girlfriend. Jessica's here. -Hi. -You have to crawl. -Don't make her climb over. No one wants to see her ***. -Oh my god, [INAUDIBLE] better half is here. VIOLET: Jessica, because I'm sure she doesn't like me because of the whole post. So I have a blog that I write daily. And I have this series that I like to call Tacky Asian of the Week. They both have the same head shape. And they both have a bigger forehead. So I just thought it would be funny, comical, to put a Tacky Couple of the Week. But Jessica was pretty mad. SCARLET: What are the chopsticks for? STEVE: This game is called the king game. In Korean it's called [KOREAN]. King game, something always happens. And it's always a really good memory for anybody and everybody at that table. Here we go. Are you ready? Take it. Here we go. Cover, cover, cover, cover, cover. We mark K for king. And everything else after that will be one through seven. Who's king? SO YOUNG: Me. STEVE: When you're king, you're so excited. Because you can do whatever the [BLEEP] you want. You just choose two numbers and say, OK, numbers three and five, do this. SO YOUNG: [SPEAKING KOREAN] JOE: Why? I'm two. ALL: Who's one? SO YOUNG: Is it you? It's you, Steve. STEVE: Yo, Joe [INAUDIBLE] licking ketchup off my fricking *** finger. Hey, you're my [INAUDIBLE]. Let's go. JOE: Oh my god. STEVE: Lick it off, baby. SCARLET: Slow it down, Joe looked at Steve like [MOANING]. Oh yeah, you like that? [MOANING] Go to the bathroom and stick your *** through a glory hole. STEVE: So nasty. Especially Joe. YOUNG: The three have to get the French fry, and then put it in their ear, and eat it. STEVE: That's just dirty. It's not even ***. It's just dirty. JOE: Why am I always [INAUDIBLE]? -Eww. [BLEEP] nasty. JOE: You have to eat it. I have to eat it? I've got salt in my ear. SCARLET: I'm king. Oh, ***. Oh, ***. Number nine has to put a chicken wing in his or her mouth. And then number one has to bite it off until its all gone. JOE: It's not me. I'm free. Thank god I don't have to do the chicken wing dare. -Bust out your cell phones. JOE: Hold on. Stop. ALL: Keep going. [SPEAKING KOREAN] [INTERPOSING VOICES] SCARLET: This whole thing was in between my legs. And I was just orchestrating. I swear to god I thought I was God for that second. -Look at each other. YOUNG: What the [BLEEP] is my wife doing? So Young, you had this all in you? STEVE: Jess, high five. Good sport. So Young, you guys are good sport. That's hella good sport. SCARLET: It was the best of both worlds. It was like watching lesbian *** and Anthony Bourdain. Christine, how's the wedding planning going? JASMINE: Can we be bridesmaids? SCARLET: Oh my god, I call maid of honor. JASMINE: You can be the second one. SCARLET: [BLEEP] that. I'm maid of honor. We go way back. JASMINE: I'm closer to her than you. CHRISTINE: She can't do it because she's doing your makeup. So it has to be Scarlet. SCARLET: What's up? YOUNG: Scarlet is the last person that I want to be a maid of honor. She's going to put the F-word in every sentence. There's going to be the word [BLEEP]. There's going to be the word ***. There's going to be the word purple ***. What I'm more worried about is Steve. STEVE: What? no. YOUNG: You know you're doing the best man speech, right? My mother-in-law is going to be there. I don't think that whole hairstyle is going to work. This whole little spiky thing is actually kind of scaring her. And on top of that, he has that little thing under his lip. It's like one mohawk going down like this, except he cut this one in the middle, and just left this one hanging in there. STEVE: Why is your wedding focused on my hair right now. YOUNG: Because, you are the face of the wedding. SCARLET: Don't you want to make her mom happy? YOUNG: You cut it nicely and everything with the suit, your [INAUDIBLE] so much better. SCARLET: You might even meet a girl. STEVE: All of a sudden all my boys and my girls are in unison, for once. They're all united front, [BLEEP]. What I'm really actually stressed out about is not my [BLEEP] hair. What I'm [BLEEP] stressed out about is [BLEEP] speech, the best man speech. YOUNG: Who here wants to see Steve cut his hair? STEVE: Why do we keep on going back to my hair right now? [CHEERING] YOUNG: OK, we'll make a deal. You can keep this. STEVE: Can I, though? JASMINE: You can keep your flavor savor. STEVE: All right. [CHEERING] JOE: Yo, everyone drink for that. STEVE: I hate you guys. YOUNG: My best man. STEVE: I love you, though. I love you. JASMINE: Born again. YOUNG: Steve, your name is Steven now. I was pretty shocked. Because he would never cut one bit of his mohawk for anybody. And just the fact that he's doing it for me, it meant a lot to me. SCARLET: OK, let's play one more drinking game. We'll call it a wrap. STEVE: Oh, great. CHRISTINE: What is it? SCARLET: Last one. It'll be fun. It's called [BLEEP], marry, and kill. So basically you've got to name three people. Who here would you [BLEEP.] Who would you marry? And who would you kill. So, Christine, go first. CHRISTINE: I'll do you. SCARLET: Thank you. -Who would you marry? SCARLET: Whou would you marry? CHRISTINE: Steve. STEVE: [INAUDIBLE] -Who are you going to kill? SCARLET: Who would you kill? CHRISTINE: Jowe. SCARLET: Steve, go. STEVE: For a really good [BLEEP] I know Scar, you'd be a good [BLEEP]. SCARLET: Yeah. Slap the ho. STEVE: Marry, I'll marry her. SCARLET: (CHANTING) Make out. Make out. Make out. STEVE: But you know I will kill him. JOE: Of course. Steve wishes he could kill me. VIOLET: I'd [BLEEP] Scarlet. SCARLET: Oh, thank you. Everybody wanted to [BLEEP] me. Look, why would you not want to [BLEEP] these? Bomb. It tastes like garlic fries. I feel like I'm winning Miss America right now. JASMINE: You're not winning no Miss America right now. [INTERPOSING VOICES] JESSICA: Marry-- JOE: Why are you pausing? SCARLET: Damn. JESSICA: OK, marry and kill at the same time, this guy. ALL: That's real love. CHRISTINE: Pay attention to the game. Me and Steve, we were drinking. We were taking love shots, whatever it is. And he's just getting closer and closer and closer. STEVE: I've never been [BLEEP] this drunk in my life. SCARLET: Oh wait, no, no, no. I don't want to [BLEEP] you. I want to [BLEEP] Christine. CHRISTINE: You'll do what? SCARLET: I'll [BLEEP] you. CHRISTINE: Yes! SCARLET: I'll [BLEEP] the *** out of you. STEVE: Hey stop [BLEEP] this girl, dude. SCARLET: I want to [BLEEP] so hard. CHRISTINE: Why? JASMINE: You just have a crush on the [INAUDIBLE] sisters right now. [INTERPOSING VOICES] SCARLET: I'll marry you. I'll marry you. JASMINE: OK. SCARLET: And I'll [BLEEP] kill Violet. JASMINE: 20 second time out. What? What? Eww, that is so gross. Who killed Joe? Hello, lovebirds. OK. Who killed Joe? STEVE: I always kill Joe. Jasmine gave me this look the whole time. I could feel this [BLEEP] laser trying to [BLEEP] drill through my fricking face. I'm like oh, ***. CHRISTINE: I have to go to the bathroom. -[BLEEP] is going on? STEVE: Let's go. CHRISTINE: I'm going to go to the bathroom. -OK, go to the bathroom. Why is Steve going? -Steve, where are you going? STEVE: To the restroom. JASMINE: No. -Both together? JESSICA: Seven minutes in heaven? CHRISTINE: Shut up. -OK, go. -Ewww, you guys are stupid. STEVE: You're stupid. JASMINE: If Steve messes with my sister, and messes with her heart, he's going to be on the back of a milk carton. SCARLET: Why are you guys being *** block? JESSICA: No, we're not. We're just-- SCARLET: Who cares? If they want to ***, then let them do it. STEVE: Come here. Are you all right? JASMINE: That's my sister. You shut the [BLEEP] up. SCARLET: She's a grown *** woman. CHRISTINE: You're going to come to the girls' bathroom? STEVE: No, I'm not going to go to the girls' restroom, dude. CHRISTINE: Why JASMINE: Did I ask you if she was a grown woman? SCARLET: Don't [BLEEP] Jasmine. JASMINE: I'm asking you, are you her sister? STEVE: Are you scared of Jasmine, how Jasmine will react, though? CHRISTINE: [INAUDIBLE] know her. STEVE: I know Jasmine. CHRISTINE: She'll kill you. STEVE: Jasmine is my best girlfriend that I ever had in my life. You know that, too. JASMINE: Why do you even open your mouth? SCARLET: What the [BLEEP] are you tripping about right now? JASMINE: I'm just saying, why do you have a say in this? SCARLET: Why are you tripping right now? JASMINE: Why do even have a say in it? SCARLET: You're tripping nothing. JASMINE: Why do you even have a say in it? STEVE: Then why did you kiss me? That was mutual, right? Let's find out. Come here. SCARLET: I have your [BLEEP] back from day one. [INTERPOSING VOICES] JASMINE: What are you talking about? STEVE: Next week on K-Town. We come back to our table, like what the hell. SCARLET: I'm not never going to waste one more breath of air on your [BLEEP] stupid ***. SO YOUNG: Jasmine and Scarlet they're just going crazy. SCARLET: She literally can suck my purple ***. JASMINE: If it has something to do with my sister, what does it concern you? She's fighting with everybody. STEVE: [INAUDIBLE] get over here. [INAUDIBLE]. SCARLET: I had a gun in my hand. I just want to turn this *** over. [INAUDIBLE]. [MUSIC PLAYING]