A Day in Uglyville - Sitcom episode 1

"A Day In Uglyville" is taped before a live studio audience. What a dull day. What does "Dull" mean? - You need a brain. - What's a brain? - Now you really need a brain. - Hey, guys! Guess what? Guess what? Guess What?! I got this awesome certificate for the "Young Playwrights Festival"! My story's called "Red", it's about an apple, and it dies. - Icebat, this is an award of recognition. Everyone gets one of these. - I know, it- Wait, what? - This is thanking you for actually submitting your play. They're not preforming your play. - No!! - Then, who's play are they preforming? - Well, for instance, they're preforming my play, about someone who gets a new brain and gives it to Dave Darinko! - Who's Dave Darinko? - (growls in frustration) Stop it, audience! You know what? I'm gonna go rob a bank. I mean, uh, go take a nap. - Hey guys, what's up? - (sobbing) - What's wrong with him? - He's sad because he didn't win the "Young Playwrights Festival". Shut up, Icebat. You too, audience. Anyways, I didn't submit my play. - What's a play? - Did you submit your play? - What does "Submit" mean? - You're buddy has problems. - He doesn't have a brain. I have to go to the store. - I need to go edit something. - I gonna go watch the "News." - Hey, can you guys, help me unload the car? - Everybody, there's been a bank robbery! - They're no more cookies at the bank! - Sound the alarm! - The alarm's already been sounded. Who's doing it? - Who do you think? - Oh, no. No wonder! - I was referring "Sound the alarm!" so that I can tell the troops. - I'll go get the police. - I'll go get a drink of water from the bathroom. No! Dave Darinko, that's the toilet! I forgot to flush! - What's a toilet? And what does "Flush" mean? - No, you ate all the poop! Eeewww! I gotta get you to a hospital. - What's a hospital? - Okay, I need to get you a brain. - What's a brain? - Do you guys, think Dave Darinko needs a new brain? - Who's Dave Darinko? - Shut up, audience. Actually keep laughing at Dave Darinko. Who's Dave Darinko?! And what does "Who's" mean? And what does "Mean" mean? - Let's see if we can get away! - (sobbing) - What's the matter? - All the cookies have been stolen from the mega-cookie vault! And my cookie powers aren't working! I don't have any cookie fuel! They took it all! I didn't have any for two hours! - I'm starving!!! - I'll go get the ambulance. - Guys, stop! - Oh, hi. Want a cookie? Here you go. - Why are there ticking noises coming from the cookie? - Uh, no reason. - Yeah, no reason. - Are you missing a brain? No, I just have a weird voice box. I need to go get a surgery. - I'm not gonna eat this. Ha! I knew it! - You deactivated the bomb! I'm gonna get you! Decondo Squeeze! Well, I'm gonna ice-itize you! Now to get these off of me. Thanks Mr. Hands, you're a big help. No, my buddy! - I got Dave Darinko a brain. And yeah. - Hey, guys. Guess what. I got uh.... I'm gonna go take a nap. Yeah, but we got him the brain of a cheetah, so he's very stupid. Not only that, I saved the day. I stopped Ox and Wedgehead. You've turned them into ice and you shattered them. That's not very nice. What? I stopped them! I got a million cookies! And I stashed them all in my freezer. - You're not gonna save any for us? - You didn't do anything. - Really? - I alerted the police. - You didn't need to. (screaming in anger)