The O.C S2E9 - English Transcript

I'd like to place an order for delivery. Can I get the crispy noodles with shrimp, and the calamari salad? Get the Vietnamese rolls and the chicken with the spicy curry. And Vietnamese rolls and the chicken with spicy curry - You guys want something from Thai-Phoon? - Yeah, some Pad Thai, please? Yeah, Mom, Mom, will you order a couple gallons of that Tom Yun soup and then the salmon with the chili lime sauce? And dumplings, please. Okay, can we get some pad Thai, some Tom Yun soup, Salmon with the chili lime sauce - Dumplings! - . . oh, and the steamed dumplings. Yeah, great. We have ordered enough for a small army. . I got an idea. Why don't you two invite your female cohorts over? Lindsay's with her mom. Family therapy, and to a Truffaut retrospective. That's a hell of a double header What about Alex? - Howdy. ? - Uh what are you doing here? Okay, that's not the warmest greeting I've ever received, but I will take it. Uh, I didn't expect to see you here, right now. I'm kind of busy. Listen, I wanted to invite you to have dinner with the family. I don't think that's a good idea. My ex is in town. Actually, in my office, waiting for me. Oh, your ex. Well, part of the ABC's of the ex, is to step aside for the I and the U. But the ex isn't technically an ex. We never really broke up, officially. It's part of what we need to figure out, but, um I really do want to come have dinner with your family, so maybe we can do it after the ex leaves? Okay, so the ex is leaving? When, later tonight? Staying the night that's cool. Staying the week? Um I didn't know this was going to happen, and now it has, and I have to deal with it, so it would be great, if you could just . . let me figure it out. Just in other words, stay away while the ex is in town. Unless you're cool with the three of us hanging out. Okay, well, I'll have to get back to you on that. I like the new club. - You ready to get out of here? - Mm-hmm. In a minute. - So what if Alex has an ex? - Most people do. That's right. He's probably just some meat head thug with her name tattooed on his bicep. Well, no threat to you. Unless, he's a thug with a heart. He's done his time. He was wrong, he understands that. He's mature, he's sensitive, seasoned. . - So you're not okay. - Not at all, Ryan. Not at all. - He's spiraling, huh? - Seth? He hasn't even begun. Wow, Marissa, that's an amazing skirt and I love your shoes. Thanks. I really like your . . your backpack. Where is it from? LL Bean. Oh, well I'm late for class. But, maybe this weekend we can all hang, see a movie or go to Balboa Island? Yeah, sounds good. Wow, every day she looks like she could be on the cover of a fashion magazine. Yeah? Well, I guess. Good thing I'm not competitive. - What are you talking about?? - Nothing. It's just, you know, you said it. Everyone has an ex, and you seem to hang out with yours a lot. - We do? - Mm-hmm, you do, like constantly. Well, maybe you two should become friends. We can all hang out and it wouldn't be weird. Yeah, me and the Cosmo girl, yeah, that wouldn't be weird at all. Ah, a massage. Wow, you must really need something. Favor. Tiny. Well, ask me while you're giving me the massage. I'm much more inclined to say yes. It's about work. As you know, the Newport Group's reputation is pretty much in the toilet. It's well deserved. The board wants us to come up with a plan to improve the company's image. And I figured, who better to ask, than you. The man who practically invented hating the Newport Group. Yeah, well, you know, I was doing it long before it was trendy. Yeah, so, any ideas? Yes, as a matter of fact. This is perfect. Perfect's good. I just got a call to start working with the Newport Housing Initiative. They want to put up low-income housing downtown, and I was going to petition the City Council. - But the Newport Group could come up with the money. - Exactly. - The housing board gets a development . . and the company could do something good for a change. Honey, that's perfect. You've earned more than a massage. Where I come from, that only means one thing. Hey, I have a surprise for you. . I love surprises. Especially when they're named Jimmy Chew. Am I about to get whacked? Here. Hey, a cupcake. It doesn't have stiletto heals, but I'll eat it anyway. You know it's not my birthday. Yes, and I also know it's our six-month anniversary. Oh, my God, it is. God, it's been six months? Holy mack. I know, it's amazing. I've never been in a relationship this long. Neither have I. Well, I think we should celebrate. I would like to take you to a romantic anniversary dinner at the Arches. What do you say? So what did you say? Oh, you know, that I'm fasting for an upcoming colonoscopy. I'm sure that was just the answer he was looking for. Look, Zach is so unbelievably great, but six months? I did not even date Cohen that long. When did we get so old? When did life get so complicated? I know. Remember when we were little and it was just you and me, and all the boys had cooties? Yeah, we'd have sleepovers and watch Full House and Step by Step. Oh, my God. I loved Full House. But then, my favorite character was named DJ, so I guess that's ruined. No, look, forget DJ. Forget Cohen, and Zach and Ryan. You know what? we need a break from the boys. What, you mean like a girl's night out? I do indeed. Are you telling me you couldn't use a night without boys? Well, Full House is on Nick at Nite. Really. Thanks. So, great news. Sandy has an amazing idea to kick start an image makeover for the company. I have better news. I have a better idea than him. You haven't heard his yet. It would be hard for Sandy's idea to top the best idea ever. - You ready? - Probably not, no. Oh, my There's so much you here. A magazine, Kirsten, about Newport life, restaurants, events, gossip selling Newport Beach as an aspirational brand. Well Sandy's idea, which is in a different direction, involves funding a low-income housing development. Huh, that's kind of cute. I guess. But Kiki, we're trying to appeal to the Newport elite. We need to think about who these people are. Bored, rich gossip mongers, who like to shop. They're me. And I don't care about low-income housing. You have a point. All right. This is as far as I go. Thanks for walking me. Have fun at your emergency comic book meeting. Why do I get the feeling Seth won't be talking about comics? - You okay? - Yeah, sure, I like eating alone. - You know, you know who you could sit with? - Uh, no, that's okay, really. Come on, the sooner you get to know her, the sooner she'll stop being my ex and become your friend. Ryan, don't, okay? Please? I'm sure they don't even eat. You guys mind if Lindsay joins you? I've got to meet Seth. Oh, no, the emergency comic book meeting Zach was summoned to? So you heard. Have a seat, Lindsay. Great, thanks you guys. See ya. This is so good. Great idea hitting the drive-thru for lunch. It'll probably be hours on the elliptical trainer working those off, huh? Coop, exercising? Now that's funny. So you guys can just eat cheeseburgers and look like you? No, sometimes we get chili fries, too. Why, what are you eating? Oh, um, it's a Zone meal. It's low carb. Oh, so we were just in the middle of planning our girl's night out for this weekend. Do you want to join us? Me? What do you say? Okay, sure. Break it down for me, guys. And don't be afraid to be honest. What you should have done is tell her, take all the space you need. I know this must be hard. Boom! You're a hero. You look confident, but like you still care. That is so the way I should have played it. When do we discuss the new Avengers? Okay, Philip, your membership has been revoked. Now you're not there for me, I'm not there for you. Beat it. Philip, he doesn't mean it. He's just upset. No, you, two. I don't care if you're still in junior high. I think you're on to something. I like it. You know what? I'm going to give her a call, tell her I'm giving her some space. No, no, Seth, Dude, don't do that. - What's happening? - He's calling her. - What?! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Give me that. - What? What? It's going to voice mail. I'm leaving a message. Geez, man, fine, whatever. Forget calling her anyways, I'm going to go down there. If I'm going to lose her, I deserve to see the guy I'm losing her to. - You are not going down there. - Yeah, I have to, okay? My paycheck is down there. Yes, yes! That's perfect. She owes me $38. I have to go down there, okay? How am I supposed to live without that money? A man's got to eat. - What if I go down there? - And I come with you? Okay. Look, I'll go down there. I'll say I'm picking up your paycheck, sniff around for the ex. Okay. Check him out, report back to me? Maybe snap a few photos? - Sure, what do you say? - Yeah, all right. Listen, Seth, you've got to apologize to Phil, man. He took that really hard. Philip, he's always been the weak one. Hey, Philip, come on, man. I'm sorry about what happened back there. Heat of passion, you know how it is? I'm sorry, sometimes Bruce Banner turns into the Hulk. . Hey, I talked to the guys over at the Housing Initiative. They are on cloud nine over there. Cool. Good. They're going to draw up a proposal for you to bring to work. Okay, honey, I don't want to alarm you, but there is a giant Julie Cooper on the table. It's Julie's idea for the image makeover. A magazine. I'm assuming you nipped this one in the bud? Well, she did her homework, ran the numbers. The proposal wasn't bad. You're not actually considering this, are you? Well, there's a lot of ideas on the table, Sandy. Well, when you shoot down hers, be sure to toss this, will you? It's giving me the ***. I'm here to pick up a paycheck, name is Cohen. So you must be Alex's new guy. The famous Seth Cohen. No, I'm his friend, Ryan. I'm just doing him a favor. Oh, I really wanted to meet this Seth. I'm Jodi. You're the ex. So you didn't see anything at the club? I mean, there were no shady guys hanging around Alex's office? Definitely didn't see any guys. Uh, are we meeting Zach here or at the comic book store? Here. Now, you must have seen someone. Tell me this, who gave you the check? Tell me everything that happened. In fact, better yet, reenact it, word for word. Go. Zach! Hey! How are you? So good to see ya. Good. I'm good. I'm terrible, actually. Uh I think I freaked Summer out. I don't know, she bailed on our date, and now she's doing some girls'- night-out thing at The Bait Shop. She's not returning any of my phone calls. I don't know, maybe some new comics will ease the pain. I feel that pain so why don't we go down to The Bait Shop tonight and give the girls a little talking to? Or we could forget about the girls, you know? Do our own thing. Have a guys' night out. I like my plan, where we go to The Bait Shop. Oh, come on, we spend every night with the girls. Let's try one night without them. It could be kind of fun. It could be just what I need a reinvestment in my manhood. A time-out to reflect what it means to be a man. Yeah, I'm in. Sanford. Uh I was hoping to have a bit of a chat with you both. It's about this ungodly magazine of Julie's. You heard about it? Heard about it? I got an 80-foot mockup in my kitchen. - It's gonna haunt me in my sleep. - Well, I don't intend to let this thing go ahead. If Julie launches this magazine, she'll embarrass herself, the company, the family. So how are you gonna break it to her? The woman's a warrior, Sanford. I'm not facing her alone. Oh, so that's where we come in. The three of us form a united front, tell Julie that the magazine is a terrible idea, that she'll regret it. - What do you say? - How about that? I actually agree with you. Relax, you're gonna have fun. Yeah, definitely. I mean, not only am I spending the night with Marissa, but I'll get to see my dad, who barely acknowledges me. Nope, he's gonna be out at dinner. I checked with Marissa. So, when did you guys meet? I mean, how'd you start going out in the first place? Me and Marissa? Come on. What? I mean, were you guys lab partners? Fire drill buddies? actually it was my first night in Newport. I was, uh I was sitting in Sandy's car, waiting to see if Kirsten would even let me in the house, and I walked down to the end of the driveway, and there she was. We started talking, and . . I don't know, we just, uh connected. She wasn't like anybody I'd ever met before. Till you. Right Have fun. Hey, do me a favor, take care of her tonight, all right? Okay, Ryan, I'm not eight. I promise I'll take care of her, Dad. Or I'll try anyway. Uh, please don't feel like you have to baby-sit me. Oh, no, that's just Ryan. He gets very protective. You'll see. Uh, so Summer should be here any second. 'Kay. Uh, so this is where you live. I mean, of course it is. I mean, it's it's really nice. Thanks. Yeah, sit. Hey, you know what? Um how about an icebreaker? - Oh, uh I don't I don't really. . - Sorry. - That's totally cool. - Oh, not that I-I judge anyone who does, - it's just not something - Don't worry about it. That must be Summer, so I'll just go grab the door. You know, hang out, make yourself comfortable. What am I doing here? Okay, it is 0700 hours. Let the record show that guys' night out has officially begun. Okay, Seth, uh, 0700 means it's 7:00 a. m. Okay, nobody cares that you were in ROTC. Now, listen to me tonight, Newport is our ***, okay? So let's go out there and let's do what guys do. Ryan, what do guys do? Oh, we could head out to L. A. You know, hit a club. Go to Vegas. Road trip to Tijuana? Okay, that didn't work out so well last time, but these are good shapes of ideas. - You want to stay home and play video games, don't you? - So bad. Yeah, this Summer thing has got me tied in knots, man. I vote we stay in. I vote we stay in. Well, we should get you out of the house. It'll take your mind off things. Or, or, we could let the fun come to us, okay? We have everything we need here for a perfect night, okay? We've got a working television, a bevy of comic books, lamps right? Okay. That's all you need for a rollicking good time, so my proposal is guys' night in. Guys' night in. So here we are, just us. Right. This is so much fun. So, what happens now? Well, we could walk by the bar, see if anyone checks us out. Hello!? No boys tonight, that's the whole point. Okay, well, we can at least talk about them, right? 'Cause let's face it, without that, we got nothing. So, boy talk. Who wants to start? You know, um I've been thinking, the whole sobriety thing. You've read my mind. Maybe some tonic and lots of ice would help. You okay? Yeah, it burns a little. Do what you want. If you need to call him so bad. What? Look, I had no idea that you were gonna show up out of nowhere, and I didn't have any chance to tell him anything about us. Why? are you embarassed about us? Sorry to interrupt, but, uh, there's no paper towels in the girl's bathroom. Uh, I'm all over it. Thanks. That was a conversation that I did not want to have. Yeah, I know all about those. I have them with my mom all the time. I mean, the nerve of Alex! She has a secret boyfriend the whole time, - and she just never gets around to telling me? - I know, man. All I wanted was to celebrate our six-month anniversary, and Summer heads for the hills. You and Summer have been going out for six months? This is so not how I imagined our guys' night out. - I say we go to the club, and we put up a fight. - No, bad idea. Why? Our girlfriends bailed on us to go drinking at a club. Have you seen the infomercials for Girls Gone Wild? 'Cause this is exactly how they begin. - He's right. I'm going. - Me, too. Seth, I'm telling you as your friend, don't do this. - You know something, don't you? - No, no, I don't. Don't ask me. Dude, I am a man in the desert. I am dying of thirst. You have a thermos full of Kool-Aid? Come on, give me a sip. Did you meet the ex? I know you did All right, yes, I did. - And? Who is he? - He? He's a she. What? Who needs a little more? - Somebody's got to drive. - Not me. Why don't I go track down some coffee? You're not scary. Uh, thanks, I think. Yeah, I mean, like, before, you were, like, scary. Not like boogie-man scary, you know, but Lindsay, you've got nothing to worry about. Ryan really likes you. Can a guy ever get over a girl like you? Summer, right? We're in the same comp lit class together. . Right. - I'm sorry, I'm usually asleep. - Matt Miller. So, where's, uh, where's Zach? I don't know. It's a girl's night out. You know about me and Zach? Oh, we're on the water polo team together. Happy anniversary. You know about our anniversary? Well, yeah, he brought it up in the locker room. Six months is big. We were all talking about it. So Zach's turning the locker room into a Lifetime movie? The water polo team is very sensitive. It's tough to see from here. Yeah, uh, always tough to see from here. You want to try upstairs? Yeah, sure, why not? Haven't scoped it out yet. So Alex hooked up with a girl. It's not a big deal, Seth. Ryan, my girlfriend dated a girl. It's a very big deal. - There's only one thing I can do to make it okay. - Going to hook up with a guy? I repeat, there's only one thing I can do to make it okay. I need to see this girl, 'cause right now, my imagination's just running wild. Dude, so is mine. She's hot, right? Listen, I know I'm supposed to be attracted, okay, and I'm supposed to be turned on. I've read Maxim, I've read Stuff, but you know what? All it's making me feel like is Alex is even more out of my league. Maybe you should just wait to talk to her till you calm down a little bit. Nope, got a lot of testosterone pumping right now, Ryan testosterone being the key ingredient missing from Alex's previous relationship. I just need to remind her of that. Come on! This should go well. I hate traffic. But you have to think big picture, because this magazine could go national. Why wouldn't America be fascinated with the lives and loves of Orange County's rich and fabulous? We're all beautiful, and we're all dysfunctional. Surf, sex and scandal it's a recipe for a cultural phenomenon, don't you think, Cal? Well, I would rather hear what, uh, Sandy and Kirsten have to say. Let's-let's not talk about work anymore. Kirsten, why don't we put her out of her misery? Julie, it's a lousy idea. Thanks for rushing to my defense, Cal. Really, very touching. Oh, it's, uh my job to remain impartial, objective. And cowardly? Fine. I'll just sit here and get insulted by a man so ignorant about business, he chose as a career to work for free. I- I-I don't I don't work That's pro bono work, Julie. Why am I defending myself? If you want a business perspective, ask Kirsten. I did. She called Newport Living just the thing to keep the Newport Group living. - She said that? - I-I wasn't that poetic. Oh, honey, I-I-I did some research. This has promise. I'm so sorry it had to come out this way. No, it's my fault. I've once again let myself get caught up in the middle of this nasty game of Hungry,Hungry Hippos. Well, this time, I'm out. You're all on your own. Waiter? He'll take the check. - Okay, I'm going to check the bar. - I'll look upstairs. Seth, we can still turn around. Yeah, that's a good idea, Ryan. You take the lounge. So, where is she? 'Cause I will totally fight a girl. I have a job, which I'm busy doing, so if you came down here for some big, dramatic confrontation, it's going to have to wait. Fine! I will wait! I don't know what my problem is. I just get so claustrophobic. Sounds to me like maybe you don't want a boyfriend. Well, if he's not right for me, then nobody is. Zach, what are you doing here? I thought tonight was the night for the girls to be without the boys. It doesn't look like it. What are you doing here with Matt Miller? That guy'll hit on anything that moves. Oh, thanks for the news flash, O'Reilly. What, are you, like, making your rounds? Yeah, yep, that's what I'm doing. I'm checking up on you. - Okay, then why are you here? - I don't know. Bad idea. - There you are. - Hi, there you are! My numb is tongue. She drunk? Mm, I think that I need some fresh air. Uh, that's a good idea. Let's get you out of here. Bye. - Julie took off? - She insisted on me putting her in a cab. Apparently, it is my husbandly duty to support her ideas. She's got a point. Support each other no matter what. That's the name of the game. Which is why I'm going to support Sandy at the board meeting. Putting the marriage ahead of the company Bold move. Go with Julie on this one. You won't regret it. You know, you're not as stubborn as everybody thinks you are. Nah, it's just too much wine. So, how you feeling? Oh, I feel so great. Let's go swimming. Come on. Hey, hey, swimming, in the ocean, at night? Yeah, what's the matter? Are you scared? No. You all right? Oh, geez. How much you drink, huh? I don't know, as much as Marissa. - That's a lot. - Well, I am on a liquid diet tonight. No dinner, too, huh? Well, in that case you hang tight for a minute. I'm going to go grab some greasy fries and a lot of coffee. Oh The Ryan Atwood special. - Fries sound so good. - Don't they? And then we'll go swimming. It'll be fun, because when the weather is cold, the water is warm. All right, we'll talk about it when I get back. All right. Stay there. You okay? Are you trying to wait me out? 'Cause it's not working. It is working; that's why you're not waiting. Okay, let's just get this over with come on in and tell me everything that I've done to wrong you. Okay, uh, for one, you lied to me. I did not lie to you. I told you that my ex was in town, and you filled in the blanks. Blanks that you left blank. You know, it's part of your move. It's kind of part of what you do. You got your whole too-cool, Jem and the Holograms thing happening, and I feel like you consistently blowing me off is part of your act. - So now you think its an act? - I think it's a crutch with the hair and the tattoos and the whisky and cigarettes for breakfast. You know, I've actually seen The *** Sisters part of it, on cable and I know how the story ends. Well, I'll make sure to Netflix that this weekend so I can be up to speed on your little theory. Great, you do that. Point is, this was really fun for a while, but it is just not worth it, so I will see you. So, what are you going to do? I don't know. Maybe I'll find a new girl to walk all over me or maybe even be cool to me. Ryan! What are you doing?! Lindsay! She's out here, Seth! - Get help! - Lindsay's fine! What?! I just saw her! She's fine! She's passed out! They took her to Alex's office! I guess she went looking for you. I ran into Marissa, who was doing the same thing. Yeah? I can't wait to see her. What happened to you? - Is she okay? - She'll be fine. She's just sleeping it off. I should get her home. - I can do that. - I think you've done enough. Oh, okay, so this is the part where you blame it all on me? You're right; it was Lindsay's idea to pound straight *** and pass out. - Feel good to see someone else messed up for a change? - It was her idea. And okay, so it got a little out of control. It always does with you! You spent all last year trying to drag me down with you, and now her? You want to make a mess out of your own life? Fine! - You're doing a pretty good job of it, if you ask me. - No one asked you. What did you say?! Hey, Ryan, let's, let's go. - I'm not leaving her here. - I'll take care of her; you go. Yeah, come on. It'll be fine. Ryan, let's go. Just call and let us know she's okay. Let's get her out of here. Hey, uh, black and white milk shake, please. One. So I'm sorry for being Ultra *** 2,000 tonight. - "Tonight"? - Fair enough. It's just that my whole dating experience amounts to a six-month angst fest with cuckoo-for-Cohen. So, when I'm with you someone who is sane and normal it's like I was raised by wolves. Do you need the drama? Well, if by that you mean do I miss the wolves? No. See, wolves they pee all over the place marking their territory. Gross. But while I'm learning how to not howl at the moon, I need to take baby steps. - Like this anniversary thing? - I got it. And don't worry, if we're still together when we hit the one-year mark, I'm going to totally blow it off. I think that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Alex called. Lindsay's home. Everything okay? I assume so. We didn't really have a long talk. She hung up on me. Which is maybe a hint that I really screwed things up tonight. I don't think me and Marissa will be hanging out anytime soon. Mmm. I was probably too *** her, huh? - There were flashes of the old Ryan Atwood. - It's just that it brings back old issues, you know? Marissa, my mom. I don't think you have to lump Lindsay in that category, though. She's probably just trying to let loose. Or Marissa pressured her into it. I think that if Lindsay was feeling any pressure, it was probably coming from you. I mean, you kind of shotgunned them into that relationship. But I mean, the girlfriend and the ex as friends I think that goes against nature. Mmm. Sounds like someone could follow their own advice. Yeah, I should apologize. It's just my pride. What pride? Yeah, I guess there's nothing standing in my way. - So, do you want to drive, or me? - You. All right. If you're still angry, you have every right to be. No, well, that's good to know. But here's the thing. I'm not angry at all. Ever since I left the law firm, your father's been grooming me to be his henchman, and I've been letting him. I think in some way, I've just been postponing the inevitable. And that is? Figuring out what to do next. Sandy, we can still make your housing idea work. I'm going to go on record recommending the project. I appreciate that. But I'd rather you didn't. Julie's magazine is always going to give me the heebie jeebies, and business-wise, it's probably your best bet. Besides, if I work with you, your father will ambush us every time we try to have a date. That was the worst date we've ever had, wasn't it? A double date with your father and Julie Cooper. Sounds like the plot of this movie. Maybe we shouldn't both be here. I mean, it's potentially too much apology for one doorstep. We're not doing it at the same time. That's good, 'cause I don't think the synchronized apology would work. It's like you're stalking me. Yeah, but I'm stalking you with good intentions. - I came to apologize. - So did I. Marissa's inside. Thanks. And so is Jodi, so you and me are outside. Look, I don't know. I, I I guess I was hoping this could be easy for you and me to stay friends, for you and Lindsay to be friends. And have us all live happily ever after? Yeah, something like that. I know it seems like a million years ago we dated, but it wasn't. And okay, maybe you're over it. Maybe it doesn't mean anything to you anymore. Maybe it never did. But it meant a lot to me. You meant a lot to me. You still do. It's not like that. I I don't know what it's like. And thinking you and Lindsay should be friends was a bad idea. Why? I like her. And if you do the math, she's my stepsister, so I guess. - Clearly, it's going to be strange for us for awhile. - Yeah, I know, you're right I'm sorry. That's what I came here to say. . I'm sorry, too. So, you and Jodi? You getting back together? Uh, I doubt it. She's kind of a pain in the ***. - But maybe that's my type. - Right. So then, does that mean that we can go back to before? 'Cause I could forget this ever happened. Okay, I'll wait. 'Cause that's what adults do. They wait, so I'm waiting. Adult style. You ready? Yeah, I guess so. thanks for coming by. And I'm sorry, too. Hey. Jodi went to sleep. Cool. I think we've seen the last of the guys. I wouldn't be so sure. There's still like, what, four minutes of girl's night out left? I've had enough of girls and guys There's an old horror movie on. Works for me. Mmm. . Are you cold? Cookiefif For forom. com