Guns And Lions

CARMICHAEL: If you were stranded on a desert island -- coffee or chocolate? Careful. Which one would you bring? I'm gonna tell you. [Bleep] [Bleep] man, there were spikes in the road. Dude, it's a trap. [Bleep] Come on, baby. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! All right, get the [bleep] out of the truck, man. CARMICHAEL: How did I get here, trapped on a back road in Tanzania? Let me explain. Hey, Hollywood. It's always so weird to see you in America. I'm Todd Carmichael. Behind you is my first customer. This is the Four Seasons, a five-star center of luxury smack dab in the middle of Center City, Philadelphia. 20 years ago, the first time I ever entered the back door of the Four Seasons Hotel, Philadelphia. I'm getting nervous. It's like the old days. Good to see you. I cornered the chef right where you're standing. Made him the coffee. He tried it, loved it. That's how I landed my first customer. You know how you keep a customer of this caliber for 20 years? You never take him for granted. But now there's a wrinkle. I got a new boss. There he is. This is Phil, the Four Seasons Philadelphia's new Food and Beverage Director, and new guys always have something to prove. And this new guy happens to want one of the rarest beans on Earth. I want Tanzanian AAA. And where did you -- where did you hear about AAA? You know, mate, I follow a lot of blogs. There's one farm, south Tanzania, that is suggesting that they've got 100 bags of this AAA. You know what you read on the Internet is not always that accurate. You're my oldest client. You're my first client. If it's there, I will get it. But what I can't promise you is that it's there. The relationship moving forward could depend on your ability to do this. I know what you're thinking, Hollywood. AAA is simply the largest coffee bean, by size, in all of Africa. But it's extremely rare, and a rumor of 100 bags in Tanzania is like a Bigfoot sighting. Hey, Hollywood. When something's too good to be true, what is it? It's not true. Listen, I didn't spend 20 years developing a relationship with one of the premier hotel chains in the world to blow it now. If Tanzanian AAA coffee exists, I'm gonna find it. We're gonna go chase down a rumor. But searching in Tanzania has its own problems. Wild animals... That long grass is just teeming with lions. ...a gun I shouldn't be carrying... ...and back roads crawling with poachers. I tell you what, man. I'm making a call right now. They're poachers, dude. 20 years ago, I started with nothing and built my company from the ground up. I'm a guy who hunts coffee in the world's most dangerous places... for the most demanding names in the business. The pay is good... if I get the coffee home. -- Captions by VITAC -- Closed Captions provided by Scripps Networks, LLC. We land in northern Tanzania near Mt. Kilimanjaro -- the tallest mountain peak in all of Africa. What surrounds it is 3.5 million acres of protected land with the highest concentration of large animals in the world. It's home to 2,700 elephants, 4,000 lions, and over 300,000 zebra. And we're right in the thick of it. Good morning, Hollywood. Nippy out, isn't it? Don't worry. It'll heat up later today. Most people travel here to Tanzania for guided safaris, where they see wild animals from protected vehicles and snap photos for the folks back home, but we're on a different mission. We got a big, important client. I mean, the Four Seasons Hotel. Come on. One of the most sought-after clients in the country. This time, they've got a specific idea. The idea -- the Four Seasons wants to serve the largest bean in Africa. But it's a coffee bean so rare, I'm about 50% sure we won't find it. As skeptical as I am, the fact remains that a blogger claims a Tanzanian processor has 100 bags of it in south of the country. The south is a big place. Very few roads. Lots of mountains. And we don't know anyone. That's why our journey starts here in the north because this is where my contact, Peter, lives. His ranch is a half-day's drive to the Serengeti Reserve. There, we can get answers to what I can expect when we go down south. This guy, Peter, is the single most important source of information that I know in Tanzania. More importantly, Peter has the only airstrip in the area, and commercial flights direct to where I'm going don't exist. He's absolutely the best way to arrange a flight down south to the coffee region. Though the area's considered protected land, Peter's ranch is remote. There are no paved highways to get there. Yeah, this is it. This demarcates that point where we leave the main road and we hit the tracks, okay? Once we leave the tarmac, it's just me, Hollywood, and thousands of wild animals. And that's not counting the most dangerous animal of them all -- humans. Poachers, to be specific. A group of violent, opportunistic gangsters that kill elephants and rhinos for their tusks and horns. Elephant tusks go for as much as illegal drugs on the black market, so poachers are now complex criminal organizations, just like drug cartels. But this area is protected by the Tanzanian government, so animals can roam here in relative safety. We're creeping up on a water table. You see the trees are starting to get green. You see the trees down there? That means a water table and probably a watering hole. All the animals come out of the woodwork, and they hydrate up at the watering hole. We got elephants through here, big time. See, that's a mama and her baby. Well, let's see how close we can get, all right? Wow, look at that. She's looking right at us. Listen, I promised my daughter a picture of an elephant. Yes, really. When they put their ears out like that, she's warning you to stay back. All right. Whoa, dude. Our battery's dead, man. Gotcha. [ Laughs ] How'd you like that, Mr. Cameraman? [ Laughs ] Is that a buffalo? That's Cape buffalo. Hyper-aggressive, hyper-violent animal. Known as the black death to Tanzanian locals, the guys might not look like killers, but if you're caught in the middle of a stampede in this herd, it'll crush you and the vehicle you're driving. Look at how many they are. If you anger one, they'll definitely charge. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The safe bet would be to slowly roll behind them and wait for the herd to pass, but we need to get to Peter's before dark, or we'll never find his ranch on these back roads. And if we move at the pace of a 1,750-pound Cape buffalo, there's no way we'll ever make it. All right, we're just gonna pass through, okay? Just act like you know what you're doing. If they start to turn and look at us, that's the warning sign. Aw, man, look at that. Yeah, like that. If I stop now, they might think I'm challenging them, so there's no choice but to go forward and try to get the herd on one side of us so we can drive past. Look at the size of those guys. Just massive. See that back one? He's got an eye on us, right behind you. Oh, there's hundreds of 'em. The problem -- there's a whole lot more than I thought coming right across our path. This is definitely not a group that you want to rile up. Hold on, hold on. I really hate to admit it, but Hollywood's right. Looks like my only option is to veer off and wait for buffalo rush hour to be over. There's a watering hole. That's probably what the herd was down here looking for. Once the Cape buffalo make it to the water, they'll calm down, and we can make a graceful exit. That should leave them enough room to get by, no? What -- in the grass? That long grass is just teeming with lions, man. Great. We're stuck right between a pack of female lions and their dinner. If those lions start leaving one buffalo, it could send the whole herd stampeding right back towards us. Buffalo on one side, lion on the other. I think that's what you call a Tanzanian standoff. I'm in northern Tanzania on my way to see a contact who can help me get to a processor in the south of the country rumored to have the rarest coffee in Africa, AAA. The Four Seasons demanded it, and I want to deliver. But right now, getting trampled to death by stampeding buffalo is a touch more concerning than disappointing the Four Seasons. CARMICHAEL: You got buffalo on one side, lion on the other. I think that's what you call a Tanzanian standoff. That herd is moving faster now. The lions will go after the buffalo on the edges of the herd. That way, they can get their kill and get away without getting trampled. This could be their opportunity. Oh, oh! [Bleep] The antelope, they blew the lions' cover. Look at that. Luckily, the buffalo are running away from us. With the lions and the buffalo distracted and off the road, it's time to make our move. All right, now we know where the lions are, let's creep forward, okay? Do you see the tops of their heads? There's four of them right there. They're all staring at us. Keep in mind. You're slow, and you're delicious. Let's just hope she's not too hungry. You don't see that at the petting zoo, do you? The Serengeti doesn't have gas stations. You have to bring your own. They call it BYOG. And getting out of the truck to gas up means leaving yourself open to predators. But there's one good way to know when it's safe to leave the vehicle. There's a whole herd of zebra up there. See that dust? If we're gonna get out of the truck, now's the time to do it. Zebra are nature's own alarm system. They're skittish animals. If a cat is creeping up on us, you're gonna see them all bolt. And if they bolt, we bolt. You get it? Just keep an eye on that herd, okay? Gotcha. Doesn't your back feel huge right now? I tell you what, I'm gonna feel a lot better when I get back in this truck. How about you? Yeah. Look at that. Beautiful. Let's get back in the truck. We're there at last. Adventurer, conservationist, archaeologist, and safari outfitter, Peter is like a real-life Indiana Jones, right down to the hat. This is the guy I was telling you about -- Hollywood. Hollywood, this is Peter. I'm telling you, Hollywood, he has seen and done almost absolutely everything in Tanzania. 40 years or so? Almost 40 years. I got to get the impossible. It's called a AAA. It's being grown in the south. I've been there once. It's a wild, untamed area. There's less infrastructure in the south than there is in the north. In the south, the distances are big. And the towns are fewer and farther between. I need to get an idea of the lay of the land. I need to see if you can organize a bush plane. And if I arrive down there, I need wheels. And how about getting your coffee out? Yeah, I was thinking the railroad is gonna connect up here, right? So we can get to Dar Es Salaam and out the port. There might be a strike on at the moment. It's a less consistent schedule. Yeah, okay. But we can get a plane. We can get a truck. Yeah. Okay, are the lands protected? Uh, no. If I run into trouble down there, I might be on my own. Be careful. I don't have as many contacts down there as I do up here. I may not be able to get help down to you that fast you know, f anything goes wrong. You're the man. I appreciate it. How about one of those Tanzanian beers? Let's go. I can't tell you, if I cough right now, a dirt clot would come out. Those roads are dusty. A clear night next to an open fire is just what the doctor ordered because tomorrow, when we go south, everything changes. [ Plane engine roars in distance ] I can hear the plane. There it is. CARMICHAEL: I'm all set for the south. I've got the rig. The rig's there. Yeah. Fuel, water, camping gear. Tent, bedroll. All that kind of stuff. And basically, everything is full and fully charged and ready to go. All right, keep your phone on just in case. Okay. [ Chuckles ] Will do. You know I have a tendency to get myself in trouble. I'll give you a call if I have any problems, all right? Thank you. We're on our way to isolated, untamed, southern Tanzania. And even 1,500 feet off the ground, dangers below are still staring me in the face. The rangers in the south are trained to shoot to kill and with the legal right to do so. So if they mistake you for a poacher, you wind up in the same hole in the ground as the bad guys. Thank you. You ready? I'm ready, too. We land in Songea, the only large town in the 182,000 square mile area that is southern Tanzania. The goal line is Mbinga, a tiny village with a processing plant claiming to have AAA. If it exists, we go back to the Four Seasons as champs. If it doesn't, we offer them a nice, northern Tanzanian coffee and hope we keep the account. Peter organized a truck for us down here with all the gear we need. It says, "Key under the yellow brick." Oh, here it is. Check out all this gear. I don't know how long he thinks we're gonna be out there, right? We got enough for about a two-month stay. This truck is packed to its limit. Camping with all this survival gear is going to be pure, back-country luxury. We have a half a day, so let's try to get some distance behind us. Luckily, there's one paved road to Mbinga, but from the looks of it, this highway's still a work in progress. Wow, we got big construction up ahead. All right. It's not a good sign, man. It's a big dam in the road. It's all under construction? All this under construction? Okay. The road's blocked for who knows how long, and the only alternative is not a good one. And you can go on the tracks out here? An unmarked detour on bush tracks to get around 20 miles of closed road. That adds a really big wrinkle, man. I mean, when you're local and you know the place and you know the tracks and you know where not to go, it's one thing. But when you're two gringos right in the middle of frickin' southern Tanzania, and the place is littered with people with guns, poachers. One thing is, we got to get there, right? [Bleep] Why does it always have to be so [bleep] hard? You got that compass? Okay. Well, let's just go get our coffee, okay? Let'*** the tracks. Relying on a compass in Africa isn't something new to me. Your GPS isn't gonna find dirt tracks, and this continent is full of 'em. The problem is, here, being a foreigner and veering off the main road makes us look suspicious. That's it. It's right here. I don't want people to see us going into the bush, you know what I'm saying? We look really just like poachers. Is anyone in here? Let's go. It looks different than the savannah, doesn't it? Right? We still got a long way to go to the main road. We're running out of light, man. You're okay with Hotel Carmichael? Exactly. We'll boil up some noodles, make a little campfire. Admit it, you love this, man. Yeah, right? Oh [bleep] Someone's camping down there. There's a fire in the distance, but through Hollywood's zoom lens, you can see guys clearly camped in the gully. Luckily, they don't have a zoom lens, too, so we've spotted them before they've spotted us. Do you see that? It doesn't make any sense to me. There's no reason anyone would ever camp in a gully unless they were trying to hide. Am I being paranoid? I'm telling you what, man. I'm making a call right now. They're poachers, dude. I'm in southern Tanzania on a hunt for AAA, the rare bean that will save my 20-year relationship with the Four Seasons Philadelphia. A construction detour has me on dirt tracks just a few hundred feet from what looks like armed poachers. Oh [bleep] Someone's camping down there. These guys are gonna be paranoid. They're hiding for a reason. You understand? We're lucky we spotted them before they spotted us. But if we turn the engine back on right now, we could blow our cover. [ Door squeaks ] Shh. [Bleep] doors. Poachers are territorial, desperate, and heavily armed, and we're driving with a gold mine of gear. So pushing the truck out very quietly is my newly invented Tanzanian survival technique. [ Engine sputters ] [ Engine turns over ] Come on, let's get out of here. Oh! [ Sighs ] Holy [bleep] Dude, I'm telling you what. Next time we go out, I'm gonna make sure that the doors are oiled. Yeah. Just keep the truck out of view. You put it in the long grass, it looks like a giant rock. How does this look? It's time to pull over and blend in with the scenery. In poacher territory, driving through the dark is a dangerous proposition. We are in [bleep] crazy land right now. This is no pitching tents and making fires, okay? Put the truck in the long grass, boil some water in my little roaster stove, right? Have a quick meal, slide under the truck, and call her good, all right? [ Doors open ] The one time we have more camping gear than we know what to do with, and we're not gonna get to use any of it. Tonight, we're sleeping under the truck -- not quite the Hotel Carmichael. You got a lighter? Oh, crap. Peter left us a gun. I mean, if you were wondering before whether or not we look like poachers, well, now we absolutely look like poachers, man. If a ranger finds two foreigners out here with a rifle, it's suspicious. Putting a gun in with all the survival gear was a nice gesture, but one of Peter's guys didn't think it through. The rifle could get us shot on sight. I feel like freakin' throwing it in the weeds. But throwing the rifle away isn't an option. My guess is, the gun is registered in Peter's name, and if a poacher finds it and gets caught with it, Peter could get thrown in jail. Sleep in the middle. Don't snore. Tomorrow, we may still be alive. Yeah. All right. In the morning, we're still breathing, and to stay that way, I know the strategy has to be getting back to paved road as quickly as possible. I've been thinking about it all night long. I think this is our strategy. We take this cut here, we can hit the tarmac road after the construction, you understand? The processor and the farm is supposed to be in Mbinga, and that's where we buy the coffee if it exists. Let's get out of Dodge. There we go. Yeah. Check this out. Back on the tarmac, baby. Told you I'd find it. See that? Electricity. It's simple, man. A factory needs electricity. There are not a lot of lines around here, so let's follow this main line, and where it branches off, there's bound to be a factory on the end of it. Like right up here. Yeah. Look at this right here. See those coffee plants right in front? [ Laughs ] You see those coffee bags? Let's see if these guys want to say hi to us. All right. Let's get out. That's coffee processing. This is coffee? Thank you, welcome. Karibu. Come on in. Can we look around? Can I bring him? Mbinga is a very small village, and this looks like the only warehouse in town. Whether they have actual AAA coffee remains to be seen. You're the production manager. Hi. Good. Now, there's a rumor someone is processing Tanzania AAA. Yeah. Is this true? Is this you? You do? Can I -- can I taste it? Okay, all right. Wow! That's an awesome sign. It's a pretty safe bet this is the warehouse the Four Seasons read about online, but people will claim they have exotic coffees to lure you out to these remote villages, then they try to sell you something different, but that won't work on me. It's got to be authentic AAA or we go home. So, let's go taste it. You ready? Okay, so the cupping protocol here is a little different than what I'm used to. There's a jar just labeled "coffee," and what looks like a tiny plastic spaghetti strainer. This is the Tanzanian pour-over. Not a great start. Holy mama, you make it strong, huh? Yeah. Very strong. Ah, it's lovely. Lovely it's not, but hey, I'm a polite guy. I don't want to insult the ladies, but this coffee is so charred, I can't tell what it is. If I'm gonna buy coffee from here, I have to see the bean, roast it, and cup it myself. I couldn't tell if it was AAA at all. But we got this. You see what that is? That's a beautiful sample bag. You know what we're gonna do with this sample bag? [ Coffee beans clacking ] My expectations are pretty high right now. If it's not the real McCoy, we got a huge problem. All right. Here we go. [ Sips ] [ Exhales sharply ] That is certifiably the real McCoy. That sweet flavor of -- I would say that it goes from, like, lemon towards banana. It's just beautiful. We found it. See, how does that feel, man? You just found freakin' Tanzanian AAA. Let's find these guys. This cup is exactly what the Four Seasons wants, but a cup is a lot different than 100 bags, so to avoid a classic bait and switch, I'm gonna need to do a little more investigation. Okay. That's a lot. Yeah. It's hard to believe that it's AAA. 140 bags? Very doubtful. I'm in southern Tanzania, and I just found a processor that says that he has 140 bags of a bean so rare, I've only seen a few pounds of it all in one place ever. Buying this bean is crucial to me keeping my account with the Four Seasons Philadelphia, but I'm skeptical that what's in these bags is really AAA. It looks like the Real McCoy, but that technically is not AAA. Some AAA is in there, but there's other stuff, other sized beans that don't belong. If I'm gonna get pure AAA, there's more work to be done. See all those bags labeled AAA? If I called from home, and I had those sent over, I'd be seriously disappointed. See, here are five AAA beans that I picked out. I take those five, and I mix them with the other beans, and I run 'em through, I go... and that's one pass. Pass it again, and we pass it until we end up with only AAA coffee. Authentic, pure, beautiful Tanzanian AAA only. The owner is gonna let me supervise the resorting of all these bags. Even though it's gonna take all night, when we're done, all that will be left is Tanzanian AAA. The big question is, how much will we really end up with? Send it through the sorter again. Thank you. Thank you. Eight hours and countless passes through that sorter, and ladies and gentlemen, we found Bigfoot. We took 100-some odd bags, and we distilled it down many, many levels till it came down to seven. But it's seven AAA's done my way. Seven bags is approximately 175,000 cups of coffee. Now, that should keep the Four Seasons happy. Now all that stands in my way is getting the coffee to the capital and port city of Dar Es Salaam, 650 miles away, so I can ship to the United States. Peter. Yeah, it's me, Peter. Yeah, that puts me in a spot. The best way out is a train, but it's not running. If I can't ship the coffee by train, the only choice is dumping the gear in the truck to make room for the coffee and driving to Dar Es Salaam myself. But there's one piece of gear I know I can't get rid of. All right, I'll take the gun up, and you have a guy in Dar who can take it off me? It's not what I wanted, but the raw facts are that I'm facing a 650-mile drive with nothing but coffee, food rations, and a gun I don't want to be carrying. Minimum stuff go in here. Just the stuff you absolutely need, and leave everything else behind. I don't even want you packing underwear, you hear me? All right, it's time to hit the road, man. Let's go. The only major road to Dar Es Salaam is not a straight shot. It's 250 miles northwest, then 300 miles northeast. Buddy, you're on your own. And construction is just as much a problem on the way up as it was on the way down. This looks great. Get that sign on the left, would you? Diversion. That is not a good sign, my friend. That means detours. Let me tell you, detours around here don't come with signs, man. They just send you off the road out into the tracks. So keep your eyes peeled, okay? Last time I went off road, I wound up sleeping under the truck. Even with extra hours of daylight on our side this time, dirt roads are isolated and unpredictable, but there's no way around it. There we go. You want something to eat? How about chicken and mashed potatoes? I'm more an Asian kind of flavored guy. I'm going with the chicken teriyaki. For lunch, we have a freeze-dried feast. You wouldn't know how many of these I've eaten in my life. It's not eating at the Four Seasons, but it works in a pinch. Usually, you're supposed to put hot water in 'em, right? But you could put cold water and just bake it in the sun. You put this up just above the food line, right? Oh, yeah. You smell that, right? Smells like teriyaki, right? Now, for your dinner, I got another one. Chicken with gravy, dressing, and potatoes. [ Laughs ] You give that a couple minutes, dude, and it's dinner time. Freeze-dried meals brought back to life, right? And that...is done. You're gonna love this. [ Chuckles ] All right, then, go fish for an alligator or whatever. Go eat some thistle. What you may not know is that Hollywood will eat cardboard for lunch, as long as he has a stash of chocolate to keep him going. I know how much you like chocolate. HOLLYWOOD: Uh-huh. Freakin' wrappers all over the car. If you were stranded on a desert island, coffee or chocolate? Careful. Which one would you bring? You have to say -- [Bleep] [Bleep] man, there are spikes in the road. Dude, it's a trap. All right, get the [bleep] out of the truck, man. Get out of this [bleep] Hollywood and I are in southern Tanzania, and we just found the rarest coffee in Africa. But construction pushed us back off road and right into a trap. [Bleep] [Bleep] man, there are spikes in the road. Dude, it's a trap. All right, get the [bleep] out of the truck, man. We're okay. We're not stuck. Maybe that's the whole scam. I don't know what's going on, man, but just keep that camera down. I don't need a tow. We're good, but thank you. Something tells me they've done this before, you know what I'm saying? It's not hard to put two and two together. There's spikes in the road, and guys just happen to be on the scene with tow ropes and tires. It's a classic scam. Even though I missed the spikes, my truck isn't stuck. If we want to get out of here without a big hassle, we have to pay these guys. Yeah. Me, too, man. Hey, boss, I want to give you some money. It's for you. Thank you, my friend. Thank you, thank you. Okay, ciao. In the rig, Let's fly. [ Door squeaks ] Did I hit the spikes? [ Laughs ] I didn't hit them, did I? I didn't hit them. Yeah, but I'm telling you what. We joke around, but that camera, man, that saves us. They'd have been way more hostile on me had you not been there. Let's find a bed. We're getting as far as we can before dark. All right, right here, buddy. A mint on the pillow. Yeah. Sure, this hotel looks little. Well, it looks very shady, but with what we've come up against, it's got to be safer than sleeping under the truck. Do you know who the manager of the hotel is? MAN: Yeah. Yeah. Do you have two rooms? At the corner, man. That's like a suite. Thank you. Okay, so "suite" might not have been the right word. Yeah, okay. MAN: One room. This remind you of your honeymoon, Hollywood? There you go, my friend. All right. Thank you, thank you. No, no bathing. No, unh-unh. We have Wet Wipes, but I appreciate it. Thanks. We're not gonna leave the coffee or the gun in the truck. Odds are, it wouldn't be there in the morning. So with the gun in Hollywood's tripod case, it's time for a quick unload and some much-needed sleep. You want to sort out what the sleeping arrangement is? Your wallet is gonna be a coin. You call it, you get the bed. HOLLYWOOD: Okay. All right, okay, go. Buttons! Buttons! ♪ I get the bed ♪ ♪ Welcome to the floor ♪ Wow. Morning. Morning, princess. You snore like an animal. [ Door squeaks ] Man, I am freakin' fried. Did you take a pee? Okay, good, because we are not stopping. We got to make it to Dar by the end of the day. As fried as I am right now, the further we drive, the better I feel. We have true Tanzanian AAA in the back of this baby, and the Four Seasons is gonna be blown away. Stop for police? [ Speaking native language ] [ Speaking native language ] CARMICHAEL: This guy's getting me for speeding. Yeah. This is not my first speeding ticket in Africa, but it is the first time I've had a concealed weapon in my rig. I just hope he doesn't want me to pull the gear out and find that rifle. Yes, sir. Oh, my God. I go 67. Oh, yeah, he doesn't want you to video him, man, dude. Sorry. Oh, you want me to get out of the car? Okay. Shooting this wasn't such a great idea. Oh, yeah, he doesn't want you to video him. It looks like this officer is not ready for his close-up. You are to come. Oh, you want me to get out of the car? Okay. Most times in Africa when I'm stopped for speeding, they pull out my gear, too, and that gun in the back, it's not gonna go over well. Shooting this wasn't such a great idea. But I think I'm catching a break. The angry cop is back shooting radar at cars, and the second cop is a hell of a lot friendlier. All right, very good. That's [bleep] hilarious. Did you hear what he said? Turns out, in Tanzania, you can only get one speeding ticket a day. If I get stopped again for traveling too quickly, show them this, and they'll let me go. So you can only really get busted once a day, right? So my travel plans would be just to break the law immediately, and then have a hall pass to just go as fast as you want. Southern Tanzanian roadways? Man, usually awful. We are going to put a pedal to the metal. Occasionally awesome. So a few more hours of driving on sweet, sweet tarmac, and I can literally smell the finish line. [ Engine revs ] Look over to your left. The Indian Ocean, baby, right there. Fresh ocean breeze. You're officially in Dar Es Salaam, my friend. I told you we'd make it. Right there, baby. We made it. But I tell you what. This trip, more than any other trip, you're my golden ticket, man. And getting stopped by the police, it can go either way, right? He got angry about the camera, but he also respected it. We spotted the herd of lions... ...and the guys that put the spikes in the road. I'll just say thanks because we wouldn't have been successful hadn't you been here. You are now a certified coffee hunter. [ Laughs ] Out of all the survival gear on the trip, turns out all I really needed was a good friend and his camera. All right. Port's coming up, doggy. Unfortunately, although you followed me all the way through this trip, that's where I'm gonna leave you behind for a little bit. You can't go into the port with a camera, and one of Peter's contacts is waiting at a café to take the gun off my hands. This is where Hollywood and I part ways. All right, buddy, see you on the other side. Thanks, man. When you first present a coffee to a client, you're kind of wondering, are they gonna like it? You're looking for every sign, just trying to read their body, right? This time, I'm pretty sure they love it. You can't get much better than when you deliver exactly what your client wants. Especially when what he wants, no one else has. The intensity of it is amazing. It's the color. It's the smell. And you know what? You're the only place in the United States of America that has it. Cheers. Am I good until next year? One more year.