A Perfect Specimen of Womanhood

(CLOCK TICKS) (ALARM RINGS) Eunice. It's 6:00. (ALARM STOPS RINGING) Johnny, you're on duty, dozy drawers. Hurry up with that coffee. Sir Hallam wants it on the dot at half past. My routine's all out since this riding lark. What about the tea for Mrs Thack and Mr P? Why can't they just be like theatrical people? Noel Coward stays in bed till lunchtime. It's a good job I'm about to take myself in hand. In what way? I start classes with the Women's League of Health and Beauty this morning. Lavinia Godfrey finally persuaded me. Physical culture? I have gained a little weight. But Lavinia believes it empowers women, generally. Can't you coax Persie to go with you? I find her such a dispiriting presence. No friends, no charitable interests. No occupation of any kind. I suppose that's what happens when a love affair ends badly. I invited her to join me at the museum. I'm sorry to say she merely glared at me and smoked. Damn you, when I want the curtains open, I'll ring the bell and ask. I hope you don't speak to my staff like that. (SIGHS) I can't bear grapefruit. Be a sport. I actually went without a cherry so that you could have the last one. Budge up. It's just like old times. Do you remember when we used to cling to each other in bed, for warmth? (SIGHS) It really was the very worst type of castle. (CHUCKLES) I once made Friedrich cry with laughter, just by describing our sanitary arrangements. Darling, I don't want to hear that man's name again. -Because he's married? -Because he treated you abominably. And because he's married. Persie, it's time for a fresh start. It's time to leave the past behind and make your life anew. That's easy for you to say. "I met a traveller from an antique land "who said, 'Two vast and trunkless legs of stone stand in the desert "'Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies'" I rather think you're the traveller from the antique land, Portia. -So many years have passed. -Three. Nearer to four. I wrote to you, Blanche. I wrote last autumn. I know. Did you burn it? I thought you might. I thought it would be just like you to consign it to the flames, without reading it first. Mama! Mama! (PORTIA LAUGHS) I don't know what Nanny would say if she saw you running in a museum. Viola, will you take Gawain to look at the Rosetta Stone? It's indescribably interesting. -It won't be to them. -I know. But motherhood has made the most enormous fibber of me, and the children swallow everything I say. I've another at home in the nursery now. -Did you hear? -Yes. I called her Isis. I heard that, too. -Zip fastener's all mended, Your Ladyship. -Thank you, Beryl. (INHALES DEEPLY) Would you help me with my hair, before you go back to Nanny? Of course, Your Ladyship. I need something more robust than usual. I'm told the exercises at the Women's League of Health and Beauty can be quite vigorous. I've seen them on the newsreels. They reckon Lady Prunella is the perfect specimen of womanhood. She certainly has an extremely trim waist. Perhaps if I apply myself, I'll stop breaking my zip fasteners. (LAUGH) Beryl, it seems to me that you're rather wasted, tucked up in the nurseries with Nanny, so it might suit all of us if you and Eunice reversed roles. If she became nursery maid? Yes, and you took on looking after me, along with parlour duties. I see... You have just the right manner for the drawing room and Eunice is fond of the children. -I've noticed that on your afternoons off. -Very well, Your Ladyship. I'll see Mr Pritchard and sort out the finer points before my class. Embalming jars, is there anything in them? Kidneys and livers and hearts, in the main. All very desiccated. Desiccated hearts? I rather like that. Portia, much as I would relish giving you a guided tour of the exhibits, -I am drawing up an inventory of... -Blanche, The Golden Blaze is to be published. You always said that was the one story you would never show to anyone. And I meant it. But nothing else I ever wrote was going to make the grade. I'm not like you, with your definitive lexicon of Upper Nile dialects. -Your monograph on the tomb of Rameses III. -II. I tried to tell you. You are Evelyn on those pages, just as much as I am Rosalind. It's your story, too. And your novel. I did consider making Evelyn into a man. Evelyn can be a man's name. All I would have had to do was change the pronouns. -But we never could change the pronouns, could we? -No. No one will know that it's you. They won't even know that it's me. Edmund made me swear that I'd use a pseudonym. I was going to ask what Edmund thought. He left for Donegal this morning. A fishing trip with friends. He always understood, you know. Yes, and I was glad. My book... Will you read it? I don't have to. Well, I knew Eunice's days were numbered when Lady Agnes found potato peel in the pocket of her peignoir. I was hired for kitchen work. Miss Buck did all the lady's maiding, till she got TB. Lady Agnes said nothing to me about kitchen work. Beryl is to be entirely relieved of nursery responsibilities. Her position is to be redefined as senior house parlour maid, with all duties thereby implied, along with providing care for Lady Agnes' wardrobe and person. (SIGHS) Will I be working longer hours? If I am, I ought to have a pay rise. No change in remuneration was mentioned. Eunice, meanwhile, is to have her time apportioned across the day. In the morning, two hours with Nanny, after which she will aid Mrs Thackeray in the kitchen and return to the nursery from 2:00 till 6:00. In the evening, she will assist in the preparation, serving and clearing away of dinner. That doesn't any make sense. It's ***, in the nursery, of an evening. -Baths for both of them. Miss Veronica's had colic. -I'm good with colic. You're good with dishes, too. I will say who's going to do the dishes. (INDISTINCT TALKING) Agnes, such luck that you came. There's a torchlight display in Hyde Park looming, -and our section can't quite rustle up the numbers. -(LAUGHS) My word, what perfectly delicious pins you have I was quite surprised by how brief the shorts are. Well, no point in all this kicking and marching if the nethers don't get aired. Exactly. We're all wearing as little as each other, that's the main thing. The League of Health and Beauty isn't just a system of exercise, it's about equality for women from every walk of life. Now, let's trot along, and you can take the plunge. I think it all sounds perfectly marvellous. We have a duty to cherish our bodies. Shop girls benefit just as much as duchesses. Right, then, ladies, let's get started. (PLAYING PIANO) Swing those shoulders... Chin up, Petronella. And remember, accept your bodies, liberate your lives. You can't touch her knickers with your hands. Use the silk, like this. Is that because of germs? No, we just aren't allowed to touch them, they're personal. LAVINIA: Left leg, right arm, right leg, left arm. That's the ticket, Lady Agnes. If anyone's perspiring, there's some eau de cologne on top of the piano. (BIRDS CHIRPING) Feel your heart beat. Breathe. Breathe! Breathe... (KNOCK ON DOOR) Dr Mottershead, I have some urgent papers from the Refugee Committee. Places are sought for another 400 children, and the applications must be processed quickly. Leave them over here. Please. I'll... I'll read them later. Dr Mottershead, is there any service I might render you? No. No, I... I thought I'd filed some things away. But it transpired, that I had failed. -Are we driving you to drink? -No. I just rather thought a gin might hit the spot, that's all. I'd be on more than gin if I was shut up in these four walls all day. Why don't you come out riding? You used to be a perfect valkyrie on horseback. Don't. You can't imagine how appalling Wagner is until you've sat through five hours of caterwauling with a Standartenfuhrer's hand placed lightly on your thigh. I suppose you're talking about this Friedrich. He sounds like a bounder, if you ask me. He was. That's why I liked him. To begin with. He's the reason I came in for the gin. I was going to drink it sitting in a hot bath. That's what girls do, isn't it? When they get in trouble. You're expecting? -Does Agnes know? -No. And don't you bloody dare tell her. I've made it right with her at last. If you told her what an idiot I've been, we'd be lost to each other all over again. What do you want me to do? An abortion costs 60 guineas. I don't care if an abortion costs sixpence. It's against the law. You can get one on Harley Street. Well, just off. It's a filthy game, Persie, and I'm not playing it. Hallam, I need your help. PORTIA: Chapter One. It was the hair that Rosalind saw first. Coiled like wire beneath its heavy metal pins... All Egypt was in her glance. The dry heat of the sands, the deep green of the malachite in amulets... There was no one word with which to brand the moment. Rosalinde's body was being filled with spices... This was a journey beyond the map. A road they intended to travel for eternity... It would be a very great shame if there weren't enough ladies to represent our troupe by torchlight. So I told Mrs Godfrey that 1-6-5 would make up the shortfall. I'm afraid we have duties in the afternoons, Your Ladyship. That's very diligent of you, Beryl, but the wonderful thing about the League is it runs classes throughout the working week. So there'll always be one to coincide with your time off. We may well go to some of them together. Everyone's treated the same and dressed the same. The classes put us all on a completely equal footing. Bare legs? In broad daylight? You're just jealous, Mrs Thack. You could quite fancy yourself in some black satin bloomers. It's just *** exhibitionism. And I don't like seeing Eunice made a game of. I'm being made a game of, too. I came here to work and save, not prance around Hyde Park doing high kicks in me knickers. Maybe they would just let me *** the drum. I always banged the drum in country dancing at Barnardo's. I know whose drum I'd like to ***. Come on, Bee. Swallow your pride. You don't want to get the sack any more than I do. (DOORBELL RINGS) (DOOR OPENS) (LAUGHTER) PORTIA: That's exactly what I told them. I read the book. Could you bear it? I was enthralled by it. I couldn't believe your courage. Come into the drawing room. It's not a party as such, the publisher's budget couldn't stretch to one. -Just a few friends who've gathered to wish me well. -I daren't. They'd wish you well, too. No, I... I didn't realise you had guests. (SIGHS) I just wanted to see you. After I came to you at the museum, I thought, if I never see her again, I shall die. Will you promise to come to me another day? When I'm alone, and the babies are in bed? (KNOCK ON DOOR) Portia, darling, I simply have to fly. I have a meeting to attend at the Factory Inspectorate. Nothing if not a man of contrasts, Your Highness. You know Blanche Mottershead, don't you? But of course. A bientot. The Golden Blaze will be widely reviewed. It's the most exquisitely wrought little tale. It's rather like Lady Alresford herself, all... Curlicued pallor, like ormolu, with just a hint of musk and roses when you rub it in your hands. I never have time to read fiction nowadays. Now, listen, old chap. The Golden Blaze isn't fiction, and it's really... It's very short. I must urge you to read it. Sounds like the sort of book Agnes would ban. Servants getting hold of it, all of that. -Sir... -They'll get hold of it one way or another. One suspects it might become a sort of, cause celebre. Sir, I was hoping to pick your brains about Czechoslovakia. Halifax is sending me to Germany, to support negotiations at the British Embassy. Very well. The worst thing Czechoslovakia ever did was to create the Second Republic. The new border is militarily indefensible, and President Hacha is not a healthy man. His heart is almost giving out. He's on a ticking clock, just like his country. Those twin facts colour everything he does, and your trip to Berlin is very likely to prove fruitless. Now, may we return to the topic of The Golden Blaze? Sir, why are you hell-bent on discussing this lurid novel? Because tonight, when you return to your blameless and elegant town house... You'll need to have a little tete-a-tete with your Aunt Blanche. (WOMEN LAUGHING) Oh, darling. You're in perfect time for a nightcap. -I don't want a nightcap. Pritchard, you may leave us. -Sir. -Well, Hallam... -Don't you "Well, Hallam" me. You've evidently heard about the book. What book? Are you writing another dictionary? No. A friend of hers has written a novel. Not a friend. A lover. Oh, how perfectly thrilling. Is it anyone we know? I think, you might have been debutantes in the same year. Portia St Clair. But she's married, to Viscount Alresford. She's still married to Viscount Alresford. And when the newspapers strip her of her pseudonym, there'll be hell to pay, in this house as well as theirs. Because they'll strip Blanche of her pseudonym too. Well, Hallam, you must talk to the papers, you must try to intervene. It's too late to intervene. According to the Duke of Kent, at least one gossip columnist is running the story tomorrow. For God's sake, Blanche, there's a picture in the Tate of Lady Alresford posing with her children, called Radiant Motherhood. Her husband's the MP for Lymeswold. It's a bloody good job my mother's dead. And it's a bloody good job my father's dead. He was a Bishop. Who thought all inverts should be horsewhipped. It's in the Express. "Smart circles are humming with speculation that "The Golden Blaze, a torrid tale of unnatural female passions, "actually details the friendship between Viscountess Alresford, "the book's true author, "and the noted Egyptologist Dr Blanche Mottershead, "former amanuensis to the late 5th Earl of Caernarvon." Aunt Blanche is a lesbian? (GIGGLES) This is the sort of talk that spreads like influenza. AGNES: Hallam, is this in any way likely to affect the current state of play in European politics? -HALLAM: No. -Then I suggest you calm down and read a different paper. Agnes, the social humiliation is going to be appalling. I shall ensure we weather it somehow. We'll have more coffee, please, Pritchard. HALLAM: I can't imagine why you're trying to defend her. AGNES: I'm simply refusing to pass judgement, because I'm learning that others are entitled to respect. I'd like to welcome two new members of the class today, Beryl Ballard and Eunice McCabe. They've been kindly brought to us by Lady Agnes Holland, on whose staff they serve. Splendidly, we're now sufficient in number to make up a torchlight troupe. Thank you, Mrs Davis. We'll start with knee kick, high kick, arms raised to the bust. And one and two and three and four. And one and two and three and four. Splendid, ladies. This feels like quite the assignation. I'm surprised you don't have a carnation in your buttonhole. It's hardly a discussion we can have at home. I don't care whether we have it here, in the house or on the number 23 bus. I'm not going to be hidden away at the seaside with some ghastly couple who are only out to make a profit from me. It's the only respectable way around it. I would also hope that once you've adjusted to the circumstance, you will agree that I can inform Agnes. -No. -This is an adult dilemma, Persie. It's time you stopped behaving like a child. I have no intention of having a baby. I don't see anything childish about that. I will not have Dr Mottershead embarrassed. None of the junior servants will be allowed to see any of this. And anything that refers to the affair will not be allowed to go upstairs. I don't know how the papers can print such ***. I have to say, this Lady Alresford takes a lovely photograph. PRITCHARD: To her credit, Dr Mottershead does not deny the allegations. I'm inclined to say, a lady's private life is her own concern. Well, it's not her private life, is it? (GIGGLES) Not if it's in The London Illustrated News. BERYL: Harry, would you have a look at the workings of this vacuum? It seems to be spitting out more fluff than it swallows. It's probably the belt drive. Give it here. Take a pew. (SIGHS) So... What's the latest with Dr Mottershead? Hmm, she's quiet in front of Sir Hallam, but then cheerful when he's out. Johnny heard her whistling this morning. Whistling women and crowing hens, eh? Lady Agnes has had two invitations cancelled. One of them a private view, the other a dinner. -Ouch. -The dinner was for tonight. I'd just pressed her lavender chiffon, and that would try the patience of a saint. -Are you not enjoying this swapping round lark? -Not really. Eunice is struggling. We're both worn to a thread. -You'll have to do something nice on your afternoon off. -I don't get an afternoon off. I get to play at being equal with her Ladyship. (PHONE RINGS) -Good afternoon. The garage. -Beryl? What are you doing in the garage? I need Spargo to take me to Selfridges. You once told me about the beauty of things that were incomplete. Do you remember? I'm an archaeologist. I live the beauty of things that are incomplete. Tell me again. (CHUCKLES) There's a visceral thrill, when you stumble on a find. (PORTIA LAUGHS) Whether you roll away a stone and discover a ransacked tomb, (PORTIA LAUGHS) or dredge the sands and bring up a shattered cup. In all the years that we were apart, I thought of you every time I saw a broken statue, or a marble fragment. Things could have been otherwise. Things should have been otherwise. I don't mind you putting it all on account. I'm just not sure you should have chosen quite that cut of jacket. You've been looking so much bigger in the ***. Stop looking at my ***. I'm on my guard already with an invert in the house. Persie, why must you say such provocative things? Why don't you just throw the old trout out? She's brought this entire address into disrepute, and Hallam's like a bear with a wasp up his nose. He's been like a bear with a wasp up his nose since last September. People have quite stopped thinking there might be a war. But Hallam hasn't. His department haven't. He has such strong principles. Yes. I know he has. Persie? What are you doing on horseback? You invited me to join you for a ride. When I wasn't aware of your state of health. Persie! Persie! For Christ's sake, Persie! Persie, slow down. (HORSE NEIGHING) You could have been thrown. Well, I wasn't, was 1? You'll go blind doing that. (EXHALES) Yeah and get hairs on the palms of my hands, I don't think. I can't see why they're all making such a fuss. Do you reckon it's about old Mottershead? Well, one of them has got glasses. Have you ever come across one of these you-know-whats? I met someone who thought she was. Turns out, she made a mistake. They all just come falling at your feet, don't they, Harry? -Not all, no. -Not Beryl. You want to stop sidling around her. Take her by surprise, ask her somewhere really swanky. -Dancing? -No. She needs a sit-down. Pictures, and none of your fleapits. Curzon Mayfair's got purple velvet seats. Or so I've heard. Do you want a go of this, before I put it back upstairs? Not really. Going to have nightmares about them star jumps. People laughing at me falling over. You ought to get an ice pack round that ankle. It'd be cold. It would keep me awake. Nothing could keep me awake. This is going to make me even slower, Beryl. The kitchen and the nursery. I can't get stuff done quick enough, even without a blooming gammy foot. Shaving cream. You do smell divine. Mrs Thackeray made up a hamper, so you can breakfast on the way. I'll make sure Spargo puts it in the car. Back to Berlin? I thought it had gone quiet. It will never go quiet. What are you doing wearing riding clothes? I should have thought that was perfectly obvious. When I come back, I'm going to raise the notion of the seaside one more time. And if you don't agree with that, I'll have no choice but to involve your sister. Hallam, how much do you want to distress her? She can't have any more children. She'd want to pretend it was hers and bring it up as if this was some sort of a penny novelette. Given that you're behaving more and more like a character from a penny novelette, I don't think that would be entirely inappropriate. AGNES: Oh, Beryl, there you are. I desperately need to have my hair washed, and I can't get an appointment at the salon. Could you pop upstairs to the bathroom with half a dozen eggs? Eggs, Your Ladyship? All the best salons offer a protein rinse. I shall show you how they do it. You'll find it rather interesting. Lady Agnes seems to think eggs grow on trees. She was the same with cucumbers when she fancied she had eye bags, then when there was none left for sandwiches, she read the Riot Act. Don't forget to change. You wear your afternoon dress for lady's maiding. I do think it's more effective when the eggs are absolutely fresh. (DOOR OPENS) Come on. You're carrying on as if they've got you beat. They have got me beat. And my tooth hurts now as well as my ankle. So, you began your employment as a nursery maid? Yes, you said this would be confidential. But you were then assigned housemaid duties, and expected to perform those of a lady's maid without any additional remuneration? Yes. You're taking notes. I always take notes. I like to make a dispassionate record of girls' complaints. So many come to us in tears. It's not so much me. It's Eunice, Miss... Poulson. And that would be... Eunice McCabe, aged 15, formerly of Dr Barnardo's Girls' Village at Epping. Yes. She's got no one, Miss Poulson. No one to go to, nowhere to turn. It's what the Girls' Friendly Society is for. I wasn't sure, I thought you might only help girls on the streets. For girls like Eunice, with limited education, and no family, it's sometimes service or the streets. Is there a housekeeper at this address? There was a Miss Buck, but now she's in the sanatorium. Help yourself to a Garibaldi, dear. I'm tired of snatching moments together. All these fragmentary hours and half-hours. It's more than we've had in a very long time. Did I tell you that Edmund's mother died, and we took over Flandermayne at last? I suppose we've had other things to discuss. It's almost the oldest house in England. I'm certain you'll love it just as much as I, I want us to go there together. Alone? Quite alone. I don't know. Poulson, Miss. Girls' Friendly Society. -If you would care to step into my pantry... -No, thank you, I've come to inspect the working conditions of the girls and the girls themselves. Where is Eunice McCabe? She spends the afternoon in the nursery, helping with the children. This light isn't bright enough for close work. If I may introduce Beryl, our senior house parlour maid. Beryl and I are already acquainted. -Is that the servants' lavatory? -Yes, it is, and none of us cares to use it, it's riddled with black-beetles. That is sufficient, Mrs Thackeray. I should like to speak to the mistress of the house. But the maids didn't seem to mind the switch of duties, -and the actual terms of engagement didn't change... -I know they didn't change. Still low wages, still excessive duties, and still insufficient time at leisure! But they all have an afternoon free each week, not to mention alternate Sundays. It was what Miss Buck suggested. I take it Miss Buck suggested they both sleep in the one bed? It's not hygienic. Physically, or morally. Morally? There's been speculation about this household in recent popular publications. I won't respond to that remark. You'll respond to the need to improve these maids' conditions, or you will be placed on the blacklist. I'm not afraid of any blacklist. But I am afraid of my conscience if I haven't done what's fair. Of course I'll arrange separate beds, of course I'll look at their afternoons off... You can look at cancelling those foolish classes. And I would like to have a look at Eunice. Take your spectacles off, dear. Your record at Barnardo's said you have a lazy eye, which needed treatment. Have you seen an oculist since you've been here? No, miss. These were the glasses that I came in. Open wide, please. There's a molar in there that's as black as a spade. And an abscess starting, unless I'm much mistaken. I don't want to go, I don't want to go! A South Audley Street dentist? You should count your lucky stars, shouldn't she, Mr Pritchard? There'll be flowers in the foyer and I don't know what. I imagine anaesthesia will be deployed. I don't want gas! I hate you, Beryl Ballard! I have never witnessed such behaviour! If I had my way, you would be dismissed for disloyalty to Her Ladyship! We are all staff together, it's Eunice and me you should be siding with. I'm not taking sides! I am showing respect. Respect cuts both ways, Mr Amanjit. Lady Agnes was treating us like domestic appliances. Beryl! You are in service. You are here to fulfil Her Ladyship's requirements. Servants have requirements too. This is absurd! What about my requirements? The old bat never inspected my room, and my mattress has got more lumps than a slag heap! It obviously doesn't matter because I'm not a girl. Johnny, get on with the bottles. JOHNNY: This isn't my job! This is Belgravia. Not Leningrad. A cottage suite. What? We're getting a cottage suite. I complained to Miss Poulson about the lack of upholstery in the cosy corner. (CHUCKLES) You look almost funny standing there. As though you're wondering whether you ought to pounce. Strictly for old times' sake, of course. I'm not going to be doing anything. Not for old times' sake or any other reason. It was hot that summer, wasn't it? I think of it every time I smell motor oil. Which isn't very often, obviously. Are you looking for something, Lady Persie? You keep the old newspapers down here, don't you? In the crate under the work bench. Take as many as you like. Oh, hello, Blanche. I was waiting to be called to dinner. There is no dinner. I gave the whole of the staff the evening off. -Whisky? -I thought it looked an easy drink to mix. But Pritchard obviously has some sort of knack. Agnes, I know you've had a depleting afternoon, but uh... -I ought to mention that Pamela is due home. -When? Friday. It's her recreation week, it had entirely slipped my mind. I'd like to book myself a room at that asylum. Don't you think it would be marvellous? People speaking slowly and kindly, and supper on a tray... I don't set much store by people speaking slowly or kindly, but I wouldn't object to supper on a tray. I feel quite frayed. I think you're rather wonderful. -But I hope you won't back down and run away. -From what? From Portia Alresford. Sometimes, simply by trying to do the right thing, one can do the wrong thing. And no amount of whisky in the world can set it straight. Three gold fillings? I wouldn't go flashing them about. You'll be worth more dead than you are alive. I've spoken to Mrs Godfrey, girls, told her you're withdrawing from the class. She quite understands. -Thank you, Your Ladyship. -What about the display? That's not for you to worry about. Miss Buck's methods were exceedingly highly honed. But they perhaps became entrenched across the decades. It's 1939, not 1899. We need to adjust our principles to suit. It also seems that Miss Buck signed guardianship papers for Eunice, because she was only 14 when she came. -Should I take them to her and arrange for the responsibilities to be transferred? No, Mr Amanjit. I shall see to this. You first. No. You. (GIGGLE EXCITEDLY) Miss Buck? Oh, Your Ladyship? Don't move a muscle. You must stay exactly where you are. Besides, this room is freezing! -Yes, I'm on the fresh air cure. -(BOTH LAUGHING) Well, it must be doing you good. You look very much better than you did when you were first taken ill. -Do I? -Yes. I wondered what you'd do, for lack of a lady's maid. But that skirt... It's beautifully pressed. I must say, I think a sweet sherry is in order. If you would oblige. I'm on my break. 11:00 till half-past. Thank you, Miss Buck. That puts everything in order. The Girls' Friendly Society will want to see the documents. Joan Poulson was always a meddler. I spent my whole life in service, and I've no complaints. Eunice didn't have any complaints. She didn't realise she deserved better. In the drawer, Your Ladyship. There's a key. This is the key to 1-6-5. I shouldn't have it any more. It isn't right. It's absolutely right. How else will you let yourself in, when you come home? Mitsouko. You used to wear Shalimar. (INDISTINCT TALKING) You must be Sir Hallam Holland. Standartenfuhrer Erlichman? Oberfuhrer now, as a matter of fact. Forgive me. Thank you for responding to my note. You have nothing to accompany your whisky. You should ask for some ham and dill pickle, perhaps. It is very good here. I didn't come here for small talk, Oberfuhrer Erlichman. A figure of speech, I presume. We can speak German, if you prefer. But I understand your relationship with Lady Persephone was conducted entirely in English. Darling Persephone! She never seemed to see the sense in mastering the foreign tongue. Seeing sense has never been her strong point. She's with child, Oberfuhrer Erlichman. And it falls to me to defend her interests. I wish you well with that. Half the men in Munich tried to defend her interests, and she slipped through the fingers of each one of us like mercury. Persie once said to me that all a bad girl needs is one good mink and the love of a decent man. You obliged her with the mink, at least. She threw it into the canal outside the Lustheim Palace. You are doubtless familiar with that type of gesture. I'm her brother-in-law, not her lover. Nevertheless... I leave it to you to play the role of a decent man. Electricity always did blow in and out on the wind at Flandermayne. Here, let me. But I always thought that it was made for candlelight. (SNIFFS) We're going for a walk. You rang, Lady Persie? I'm surprised you came. I imagined it was going to be all cushions and barley sugar for you lot. I need the car. Tell Spargo, would you? Of course, Your Ladyship. HARRY: Are you sure this is the address, Your Ladyship? I was told to go in the back way. The front is probably a great deal smarter. PORTIA: Are you wondering why I've walked you all this way? Oh, no. I'd be content to walk with you forever. Follow me, or you won't see your surprise! (BOTH LAUGHING) See? Who lives there? No one. Yet. But wait until you see inside. There are fireplaces older than the house itself, and alcoves we'll cram with shelving for your books. My books? And your books? Perhaps just one shelf, with The Golden Blaze sitting on it on a cushion. I very much doubt I have another in me. But I'll always be grateful to it, because it brought you back. I was never far away from you in my heart. I know that, now. We can forget the years that have passed. You can forget Belgravia, and that starchy nephew. That's where we'll sit. That's where we'll talk, where we'll love. The Dorchester, Spargo. The Dorchester? I'm not going dancing but I am in need of a brandy. Your Ladyship, I would prefer to take you home. (GRUNTS) I've made a reservation here. Give my bag to the bell boy and then go. I've been ordered to collect Sir Hallam at the airdrome but I could go past the house and give a message to Lady Agnes. Don't you dare give a message of any kind to Lady Agnes! Persie, you're not well. You can give a message to Hallam. Do you really believe you'll never write again? The secret house would be the perfect place to try. I did my best work on The Golden Blaze when I was miserable. After you left. After you decided to stay with Edmund. I'll never be so unhappy again. With you just a walk away through the woods. A walk away? (KNOCKING ON DOOR) (KNOCKING CONTINUES) It doesn't happen like this in penny novelettes. She was highly experienced. She washed her hands with carbolic soap. In fact, one way or another, there was quite a lot of carbolic soap involved. (GROANS) For God's sake, Persie! I'm ringing for a doctor. I've broken the law, Hallam! She said it would just come away. -And what if it doesn't? -I'll be in frightful trouble, won't I? No, No! You mean to keep me in the woods, like a tame fox, like some sort of mistress. PORTIA: Blanche, I can't understand what you're so upset about. I'll be in the main house with the family and I'd visit all the time. I could stay with you for days on end! It'd be like today and yesterday, but, Blanche, it would last for years! And you'd be happy? Mundy would be happy. And what, precisely, does that signify? He wouldn't divorce me. I have three children, Blanche! I didn't just find them under hedges, I made them. With him. They're more his than they are mine. If we're divorced, I'd lose them. You're in thrall to him. No. I love him. I love you. And if that means that I can only have a part of each of you... No, Portia. We can each only have a part of you. But that's the beauty of incomplete things. Isn't it? Did Friedrich speak kindly of me? Not really. Is it feeble of me to wish that he had? Everyone wants to be thought well of. Do you? When I was at prep school, I won the prize for Most Helpful Boy In The House. At least, I shared it, with a boy called Franklin Minor. What did you win? A box of Huntley & Palmers Afternoon Tea biscuits. We decided we would split the prize in two. Franklin Minor got the biscuits, and I got the box. And I was glad, because I knew it would last longer. I used to keep it on our dressing table, with my brushes and cufflinks. But Agnes never could embrace its charms and... One day I came home and it was gone. Replaced by a smart leather caddy from Hermes. I'm afraid you're going to have to be the Most Helpful Boy In The House again and take me to the bathroom. HALLAM: Persie? Do you need me to come in? Persie? PERSIE: Is it over? Yes. (FLUSHES) (PERSIE SOBS) Shh. It's all right. It's all right. (GASPS) (SOBBING) (KEY CLINKING) PAMELA: Careful. Pamela, go up to Nanny, there's a good girl. I'm sorry, Blanche, should I leave you alone? I am alone. -No, you're not. -(SOBBING) Yes, she suffered a miscarriage. In the small hours. I'd like the doctor to attend her. Thank you. -I thought I'd wait, sir. -Thank you, Spargo. We'll say the flight was delayed. (KNOCK ON DOOR) You rang, Your Ladyship? Miss Pamela will be dressing for dinner this evening. She has a new gown, which will require ironing, -if you would be so kind. -Of course, Your Ladyship. And would Miss Pamela be needing help with her hair? If you can spare the time. Eunice and I have been thinking, Your Ladyship, and we don't like to think that we've let you down -by dropping out of the troupe for Hyde Park. -Beryl... It's wrong. And you did what was right by us. We'll do it. Although you'll have to make allowances for Eunice. I shall always make allowances for Eunice. Thank you. MAN ON RADIO: A meeting has taken place this morning between Herr Hitler and the Czechoslovakian President Emil Hacha. President Hacha has since agreed to the free movement of German troops within Czechoslovakia. Well, it'll knock Dr Mottershead out of the headlines. It is believed that German troops have already entered several Czech provinces. The move has been denounced as an audacious gesture on the part of Herr Hitler, and one that might be seen as leading Europe one step further towards war. Meanwhile, in the capital, preparations are underway for a display of perfect womanhood. Tomorrow evening, Hyde Park will play host to a torchlight rally of the Women's League of Health and Beauty. (MUSIC PLAYING) (PEOPLE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING) Happy Birthday, Johnny. Military training. HARRY: You're scared. Yeah. The world's going to hell, but as long as you can save poor Persie... Don't tease me. I've a model coming over to take pictures for the advertising. HALLAM: You're infatuated with him. He's the sort of man who wouldn't forbid me anything. Two tickets in the stalls and, all right, some butterscotch. AMANJIT: How do you allow yourself to be robbed of all your opinions? I'm a servant, but before that, I'm a man. Then you have no place downstairs.