Desperate Housewives S8E14 - English Transcript

Previously on Ben took money from a loan shark. If you're not good for it, I understand that pretty girlfriend of yours is loaded. Julie had more then one surprise for Susan. I'm giving it up for adoption. What? You slammed your doors in my face! Bree rejected her friends. Let go of me! But it was Orson who came to her rescue. Your friends called me. Orson Hodge had always known one thing Bree Van de Kamp was the perfect woman for him. When he was sick, she nursed him back to health. When he was arrested, she promised to wait for him. And when he suffered a terrible injury, she did everything he couldn't. So now that Bree was suffering, Orson intended to care for her. I've found that whatever the problem, a cup of tea always makes things a little better. Thank you. To think, if you hadn't been there, what that terrible man might've done Don't think about that. You're safe now. I'm here. You really are a good friend. Perhaps my only one. What a thing to say. You're still close with Gabrielle, Lynette, and Susan, aren't you? Is something wrong? We're estranged. Really? I thought the four of you were inseparable. I know, but something happened a few months ago, and Bree? After everything we've been through, I promise you can trust me. I don't want you to know. You're the only one who still believes in me. And I always will. Please, I can see this is tearing you up. For your own good tell me. About six months ago we threw a dinner part but before the guests arrived at Gaby's, something terrible happened. Orson, I understand you're shocked, but please talk to me. I am shocked. You agree help cover up Carlos' crime, and then they just abandon you? How can your friends do that? You're angry at them? Yes. They took advantage of you and then hung you out to dry. It's appalling. So even after hearing what I've done, you still believe in me? Yes, Orson Hodge knew that Bree was the perfect woman for him. And now that he had her back I believe in you more than ever. He had no intention of letting her go. Lynette Scavo had discovered the silver lining of separation shared custody. For three glorious days a week, she had no child demanding her attention no one to set an example for and plenty of time to exercise. But Lynette forgot that when it comes to being a mother, you can run Hey, mom! But you can never hide. Hey, guys. What's going on? Nothing. Jeez, do we need a reason to bring flowers to the woman who gave us life? Suitcases? Why are there suitcases? Okay, we had a little disagreement with our landlord, and we were kind of evicted. No! No! No! No! No! Go away! You are not moving back here. Mom, come on I spent 18 years getting you out of here. There's no damn way I'm letting you back in. Okay, mom. We understand. Yeah, we have to learn to live on our own. No. Come on! Just for a week. I know you guys. A week would turn into a year, a year into 20, and pretty soon, you're taking me off the respirator, saying "It's what mom would've wanted. " Please let us in. We're children of divorce. Exactly. Go to your dad's. But we like you so much more. Don't give me that. No, seriously, dad has that stupid girlfriend. And he's been so unfair to you. You had me at "Stupid girlfriend. " Hey, sweetie. Whatcha doing? Oh, the adoption agency sent me a few more couples to check out. Okay, that guy's got serial killer eyes. Oh, he does not. That's from the flash. Fine. You want your baby to be on the run. Any other choices? I like them. Oh, gay couple. Uh, that's not a man. Oh, too bad. They're great with kids. Okay, that's it. Nobody's ever gonna be good enough for you. So you've totally ruled out keeping it? Yes, totally. And I get no say in the matter? Now you're talkin'. You need to stop hassling her. I just wish there was something I could do to keep her from giving this baby away. Hey, what if I talk to the father? Susan No, does he even know that she's doing this? Maybe if I find him, I tell him, and then he'll stop her. That's a very bad idea. - Says you. - What do your friends think? I don't know. Not allowed to tell them. Julie wants to keep this a big secret. So you are the only one I'm allowed to talk to, and I would really appreciate it if you would agree with me. Look, this is killing me, too. But it's her decision. You keep pushing her, it's not just a grandkid you're gonna lose. Girls, let's go home now. All right, I'm gonna count to three. One two two and a half two and three-quarters You don't know any more fractions, do you? All right, that is it, smart-***. I am calling your father. And you better watch out, because this phone has a whup-*** app. Hi, sweetie. I am just getting ready to meditate. Can I call you back? No! No, no, no. Enough nurturing your inner child. I need you to come home and whack a couple of your outer ones. I can't come home until my treatment is complete. That's another 16 days. In 16 days, I can't guarantee you're gonna have children to come home to. You wouldn't believe the things that are going through my mind. Gaby. I'm just saying, I've got rocks, they've got backpacks, and there's a lake on the way to school. Look I know that it has been tough on you with me being in rehab. You have no idea. I am losing my mind. I'm looking after your business, I'm running the house, I'm trying to keep the girls in line. Let me talk to Juanita. Juanita, talk to your father. Hey, daddy. Anything biting? Karen kicked me out. Oh, my god. What happened? I don't know. Seems like everything I do lately gets her mad. "Lately"? She's a grouchy old lady. That's why we love and fear her. Nah, this is different. I think it's gonna take a while for her to cool down. And in the meantime, I got no place to go. Yeah. Well, you know, it's fun to stay at the Y. M. C. A. Not for me. I slept there once. Woke up at 2:00 in the morning with a guy massaging my feet. Well, at least she gave me my fishing pole so I won't starve to death. The church has a koi pond, right? There's that frontier spirit. Okay, Gaby. It's obvious you're not picking up my hints. No, I am. I'm just ignoring them. Look, I'd offer you a room at my place, but my kids are young and loud And I'm old and deaf. It's perfect. Thanks, Gaby. I'd ask Bree if I could crash with her, but she's got Orson over there. You need to be helping your mother out more. You know, helping around the house Thanks, honey. You've been a big help. - I gotta call the girls. Bye. - Gaby! Ladies. I saw you through the window and just had to come out to say hello. Orson. You're back. I am back. Keenly observed, Susan. She just meant it's unexpected, seeing you after all this time. Building a ramp. You and Bree Gonna be spending more time together? Yes. As you know, she's been going through a rough patch of late. The other night, she was at a bar, and there was an incident. An incident? Something unpleasant with an aggressive stranger. She's fine. Thank god I happened to be driving by. Thank god is right. But as you can imagine, she's still a little shaken up, so I'm gonna be spending some time here until the dust settles. Can we see her? You know, I don't think she's up for that yet. I'm not surprised. Yeah, last time we saw her, it didn't go so well. Will you at least tell her we love her and we're here for her? I'll be sure to relay the message. - Thanks. - Bye. Who were you, uh, talking to? Just the men installing my ramp. Now how about I make us some lunch? No, you've gotta deliver that cement tomorrow. Look, I don't know why Ben didn't pay you, but I drove back to the site. I'm gonna find your check, and I'll get it to you tonight. Hey! Hey, this is private property! What the hell?! Damn it, Mike. Why'd you have to come back? Are you out of your mind? This doesn't concern you. You almost killed me, so I say it does. I'm in over my head with this loan shark, and his late fee comes with a crowbar. Sorry some of this equipment blows up, the insurance company writes me a big check, and I'm able to keep my knees a little longer. That's fraud, Ben. I know what it's called. I just didn't know what else to do. Well, not this. Then what? 'cause I've been trying to fix this for weeks, Mike, but it just keeps getting worse. I've lost every cent I have. I've lost Renee. I've I've screwed everything up. Are you okay? My chest feels tight. That's not good, is it? No, it's not. Let's get you to the hospital. Come on. Thanks. Yeah. I see the twins are home. Really? What gave it away? Guys! Get your boxers off the table! They're not mine. Me neither. I'm wearing Oh, wait. Be right down. I swear, they're like termites. Just when I think I've gotten rid of 'em At least they come back to you when they're in trouble. And that's a good thing? Yes. Because they listen to you. They let you help them. They don't keep their problems secret for six months and then completely shut you out, ignoring all your advice. What's wrong? I'm not supposed to tell you that Julie's pregnant, and she's giving the baby up for adoption. Wow. Where's the dad in all this? "Who's the dad?" is more like it. She won't tell me anything. I'm sorry. You know, right when Julie was born, they took her away to give her a vitamin shot, and that was the longest hour of my life. And now she's talking about giving the baby away for good. I mean, she just has no idea how hard that's gonna be. Do you want me to talk to her? She might react differently to someone who's not her mom. No. In fact, you can't even tell her I told you. Julie doesn't want anyone knowing she's pregnant. Oh, mornin'. How'd you sleep? Terribly. I'd ask you, but I already know. How can someone use the bathroom five times in one night? Heart of a lion, bladder of a fruit fly. Well, you do know they make bathrobes with belts on them? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to let the old komodo dragon peek out of the cage. Don't mention it ever again. Girls, school starts in 20 minutes. Why aren't you dressed? 'Cause then we'd be ready, then we'd have to go, and we hate school. Here. I made breakfast. Ooh. Toast. Let me know when your cookbook comes out. Okay. Let's talk about how we're getting you off my couch and back with the lady you love. What's our plan? Doesn't look good. I've been calling all morning. She doesn't even pick up the phone. Roy, you've got to put some effort into it. Woo her. March over there and sweep her off her feet. I don't think it's gonna work. No, no, here's what doesn't work me being awakened at 2:00 A. M. by that pep talk you give your dragon when you're trying to pee. You want me out. I'm sorry. It's just, my life's really stressful right now. No apologies. It was very kind of you to take me in. I'm sure I can find another place to stay. Oh, you've got to be kidding me. I told you to get dressed! I don't wanna. Damn it, girls! Listen to your mother. You can't talk to me like that. You're not my dad. Exactly. So I don't give a crap if you live or die. Here. You see the notches on this belt? Thos are all the men I killed in Korea. First time, it was a little rough, but after that, you develop a taste for blood. So listen up, soldiers. You are gonna march up those stairs, put on your school gear, and be back down by 8:00 sharp. Is that clear? All right. Now move! Well, I guess I better go start packing. No! No, no, no, no. I can't send a war veteran out on the street. As long as America is free, you have a place here. Let me finish. See, this is why I didn't tell you. I knew you were gonna freak. Because it's not your decision. I don't care if you're the father. Okay, you know what? I'm not doing this on the phone. Just meet me at the coffee cup in half an hour. Hey. You using this chair? Uh, no, go ahead. Mrs. Delfino? Oh, Porter. Shh. I don't want to Julie to know I'm here. Why not? Oh, she's meeting a guy. I need to find out who it is. Oh, hey, Porter. Over here. Mom? Oh, my god. You're the guy. Porter Scavo is the father of my grandchild. Oh! I can't believe you spied on me. And I can't believe you shacked up - with a kid you used to babysit. - Can I just say something? Are you two in a relationship? Oh, god, no. Never in a million years. I can hear you! We ran into each other at a bar, okay? And I-I'd just broken up with Wwill, and I was feeling really depressed, and Porter bought me a few drinks. And then we went back to my place and Apparently, forgot everything I taught you about condoms. No. It broke. What'd you expect? It's Porter Scavo. He probably found it on the floor of a movie theater. Great. Well, you better get used to it. This snot-nosed kid, the boy who got his head stuck in our fence, is the father of your baby. No, the father will be an adoptive parent who has gone through extensive interviews - and a background check. - Both of you, stop. No more fighting. All this stress is bad for my baby. Your baby? Yeah. I wanna keep it. You do? Yeah. Oh, I was just doing some research online. You might want to eat something called folic acid, - or the baby could have a weird head. - You can't be serious. There is no way we are raising a baby together. Then I'll do it myself. Oh, please. You can't do that. Well, uh, legally he can. I mean, fathers do have rights. Mom, what are you doing? Nothing. I'm just reminding Porter that he does have a say in this and letting him know that if he wants to raise the baby, he'll have my support And unlimitebabysitting. No! No, no, no. This is none of your business. Stay out of it! Porter, if you're serious about this, I will help you. Just tell me what you need. Thank you. Could you tell my mom? Oh, hey. I brought those contracts. Your secretary says to sign them so I can bring 'em back tomorrow. Aw. Thanks, babe. Listen, I want you to understand I get how much you've had to do with me in here. But I talked to my counselor, and he said that I don't have to do the full 16 days. I can get out a few days early, help out with the girls. Oh, honey, you don't worry about that. Really? Because yesterday on the phone, you had that whole drowning fantasy. I know, but I got help at home. - What, a nanny? - Better. A sergeant. I got Roy. McCluskey kicked him out, so I took him in. You wouldn't believe how he's getting the girls in line. McCluskey kicked him out? why? Who knows? By the way, big oil stain in the garage? He had the girls in there all afternoon. It's gone! Wow. Those two seemed so perfect for each other. And it's perfect for me! Roy's a genius. Simply by yelling at the girls and threatening 'em with violence, he has made our home a happy place. But aren't you the least bit interested in what drove them apart? I know what's gonna drive us apart If you keep asking those kinds of questions! Hey, I, uh, I need to talk to you about Ben. After what he did to me, I don't care. He's in the hospital. He is? What happened? He started having chest pains. They say it's not a heart attack, but they want to monitor him for a couple days. But Ben's a young guy. He's healthy. Why is he having chest pains? Oh, he's been under a lot of stress. Oh, is it the money thing? Yeah. It's worse than you think. He's in pretty deep to this guy. Guy? What kind of guy? Let's just say he's not exactly a licensed banker, which is what I wanted to talk to you about. Ben's in trouble. This is nice. It's like you never left, like all of those terrible things I told you about never happened, and we've been here in this kitchen, safe. It does feel very comfortable. We're like a pair of old jeans. Well, we can only assume, since neither one of us has ever owned a pair of old jeans. I want to run something by you. Of course. Given everything you've been through lately, how would you feel about a change of scenery? How big of a change? Maine. - My aunt recently passed. - Oh. Ah, no need for sympathy. She was a wretched woman. She left her coastal cabin to me. Well, it might be nice to get away for a couple weeks. Yes. And if you like it, maybe we could make it more permanent, you know, move there. Are you talking about us getting back together? Because I'm not sure I'm ready for that. All I'm talking about is a fresh start, a new chapter in your life. I don't know, Orson. It's such a massive change. I'd be saying good-bye to all my friends. You mean the women who involved you in a *** cover-up and then abandoned you? Well, in all fairness, they did attempt that intervention I told you about. Mm-hmm. And yet they haven't come by since, have they? Come on. Come to the cabin. Just for a few weeks, to see if you like it. You know what? Let's do it. Wonderful. I'll book the flight. How's the sauce? It's all coming together perfectly. What was that for? For giving me the day off. I was able to hit the entire left side of the mall. And if you're willing to keep torturing my kids, tomorrow I'll hit the right side. Hi, mom. What's all this? The girls and I tackled that dead tree out back. I taught them some basic forestry procedure. The older one is pretty good with an ax. You might want to keep an eye on that. Well, I can't thank you enough. You are absolutely welcome to stay here for the next 16 days. Yeah, well, I don't know if I'm gonna make it that long. I'm thinking about begging Karen to take me back. What? I really miss her. No, you don't. I mean, what's there to miss? You know, the foul moods and the nagging and the Yeah, she can be a little gruff. And god knows I got my own baggage. But today, when I was telling the girls we could have a cozy fire tonight, all I could think about was having one with Karen. Well I I think you just need to get your mind off her. You know what would help? A nice, long bath. Yeah. Come on. Come on. You can, uh, use my lavender bath salts. Oh, I do like lavender. That reminds me of a funny story. Hilarious. Okay, into the bath. Chop chop. Karen! Is that for me? How thoughtful. No, it's for Roy, kind of a peace offering. No. I mean, don't back down. I've only lived with the guy for one day, and I can tell he's a handful. Well, the truth is, I'm the handful, and I really need to talk to him. I have to clear the air about a few things. Mm. Uh, I don't think that's gonna work. Why not? Is he still angry? Livid. Yeah, he took an ax to a tree in my backyard. He just kept hacking at it and muttering "Take that, Karen!" under his breath. - Really? - Yeah, you should go and look. Nothing left but a stump. Oh. Okay. You know what? Don't worry. You let me work on him. I bet you he'll come around in, I don't know, 16 days. Well, can you give this to him anyhow? It's french apple. It's his favorite. I will make sure he gets it. Yeah. Make this disappear. If you insist. Hey. Hey. You okay? They say they want to run more tests, but I'm fine. Well, you look like crap. Thanks. So other than boosting my spirits, uh, what are you here for? Mike told me you borrowed money from a loan shark. Mike should learn to keep his mouth shut. Look, I don't want you reading anything into this. I just don't want to see you dead, from that guy or stress. So how much do you need? From you? Not a cent. Ben, don't be stupid. You're in trouble. I can help you. You want to help me? Wait till I get myself out of this mess, then let me come back to you and apologize to you for what I did, then allow me to propose to you again this time as the kind of man you deserve. Wow. I mean it. I'm still crazy about you. That's terrific. But if you don't pay those thugs what you owe them, they're gonna disassemble you. And if we're getting back together, I want the whole package, not just parts. Well, don't worry about me. I can take care of myself. Yeah. You're doing a hell of a job. Is there a better way to wake up from a nap then to the smell of fresh-baked croissants? The question is rhetorical, but the answer is still no. I've left some for you. These are for the girls. The girls? Yes. I've been doing some thinking, and it's time for reconciliation. What a good heart you have, my dear. But you also have a good head, and maybe you should give this a second thought. No, I've given it a lot of thought, and there's blame enough for all four of us in what happened. Beside if you think about it, they actually help save me. How? By calling you. You told me so yourself that night outside the bar. And if they hadn't, who knows what might have happened to me? Well, I-I suppose one could make that argument, but But nothing. I am gonna thank them for bringing you back into my life and tell them about our trip together. And besides, it's time one of us made the first move. They already did. I'm sorry? They came by the other day when I was outside checking the ramp. I didn't tell you because it was an unkind visit. What are you talking about? At first, I thought they were here to apologize for how they treated you. But then the comments started how you "Deserve" what happened and how they regret calling me because now I was "Stuck" with you. They said those things? And more. Worse. I swore I wasn't gonna tell you, Bree, but I couldn't let you humiliate yourself by extending kindness to people so undeserving of it. No, I'm glad you didn't hide it from me. You're always trying to protect me, aren't you? Lynette, oh, I'm so glad you could come over. Oh, you said you wanted to talk. What's going on? Come sit down. Put your feet up. Have a cookie. Okay. Look at us, beings friends eating cookies. Can you imagine us being even closer than we are right now? Um I think we're pretty close already. I'm just saying, wouldn't it be great if we were family? Okay, Susan, if you need a ride to the airport No, not that. I just want to share some amazing news about our children. No! No! No! No! He can't be having a baby! Here! Honey, breathe into this! Okay. It's gonna be okay. Julie's gonna give the baby up for adoption. I don't know why people do this. Uh, actually, in a very mature move, Porter says he wants to keep the baby. What? Yeah. He wants to raise it himself. He can't raise a baby! He can't even take care of himself. All he eats are frozen waffles still frozen! Okay, you just need to calm down. No, what I need is is a time machine to go back there so I can slap some sense into that idiot. In fact, I'm gonna do the slapping part right now. No, no, no, no. You you can't be mad at Porter. I mean, you should've heard the way he was talking about the baby. He's so excited. Yeah, and he'll stay excited for about a week, just like he did with the puppy we gave him in fifth grade. - Know what happened to that puppy? - No. No one does. And and what was Julie thinking? Julie? Yeah, she should have some sense. She's getting a PhD. My kid eats waffsicles. You're missing the point here. - Your son - Yeah. And my daughter they made this sweet little baby together, and we could help raise it. Oh. I I already have a sweet little baby, who is only months away from day care. I am not going right back to the beginning. I see. You're afraid of being inconvenienced, so you want to give the baby away to strangers. No. I want to give that baby away to people who are ready to be parents. It's better for Porter, it's better for Julie, And it's sure as hell better for that baby. - Hey! - Look at what I'm doing. - Pay attention to me. Tell me I'm great. - What is happening? I'm thirsty. I want a glass of water now! Water! Water! Water! Oh. You're a baby. I get it. No, Porter, you don't get it. When this baby comes, it's gonna want food and clothes and a home to live in, because babies are selfish that way. I think I can handle it. Are you serious? You've never been able to commit to anything. Maybe if Julie was giving birth to a video game or a new *** site, but there is no way in hell you are ready for this! - Can I talk now? - Yes, go ahead, but if I happen to roll my eyes and snort, just know I was provoked. Everything you said is true. I-I'm not ready for this. I have $17 in my checking account and no clue how to write a resume. Yeah, a couple days ago, that didn't bother me, but now it's all I can think about. Well, you're gonna have to do more than think. I will. I'll get a job. I'll take I'll take classes. I'll do whatever it takes. Okay. Okay, that's great, but when you are a parent, there is so much you are gonna have to give up. Your whole life just It is gonna change forever. It already has. She's not even born yet, and I can't believe how much I'm dying to see her. Mom I love her. I really, really love her. I hope you're happy, Porter hired a lawyer. He wants to raise the baby. Hey, is that such a terrible thing? I mean, he's not gonna be doing it on his own. I'll help. You think that makes it better? Now when I come home, I'll have to see her. Do you have any idea how painful that's gonna be? I just want to forget this ever happened. Julie, it's your daughter. You're never gonna forget. You don't know that. Yes, I do, because I've had a daughter. You can't possibly understand this until you have one, too, but every single day that you're not with me, I think about you. I wonder what you're doing, I worry if you're safe, and I hope you are happy. No! This was my decision to make, and you took it away. I can't forgive you for that. Oh, there you are. I can't get Celia to take a bath. Do you still have that dummy grenade? You okay? I just didn't think it was gonna end like this. After all these years, I thought I'd finally found the one. Oh, it's just a rough patch. You two will come out of this stronger than ever. I don't know about that. At my age, falling in love is not about all that drama you young people go through. It's about finding the one who'll be there, holding your hands, at the end. I thought Karen would be that person for me. But I-I guess I was wrong. So we got your M. R. I. back, and I'm afraid the results are not what we'd hoped for. The cancer is back. It's metastasized to the brain. So the drugs have stopped working, huh? I'm afraid so. But we'll start you on an aggressive course of radiation right away, and there are new therapies we can try. Thanks for giving it to me straight. Karen We've been through this before, and you are a fighter, but this is gonna be tough. You're gonna need a lot of support from Roy. Actually, uh, Roy's out of the picture. He and I split. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not. He had to watch his first wife get sick and die. He doesn't need to go through that again. Trust me. This is for the best. If you don't mind, I'd like to just pay the entire bill today and close out this account. And, uh, I assume you'll honor our agreement to keep this just between you and me. Yeah, sure. You have a lovely home. I can tell you like the finer things. You were married to that yankee, right? I heard he cheated on you. Man, you must have cleaned up in that divorce. It always amazes me how much power is in this little piece of paper. I mean, with it, all your problems disappear. Without it, your aussie friend he ends up begging one of my guys not to shoot him in the kneecap. Uh, you have your money. Are we done? Sure, we're done. Normally, I'd never take a check but you seem like a classy lady, and I know where you live. I remember this. I bought it for you in Milan. Cashmere. It's one of my favorites. Much too fussy for where we're going. You want to stick with more comfortable, casual things, Bree. Is everything okay? Yes. It's just that I don't think I've ever seen you this confident. Well, I'm not the same man I was two years ago. I've let go of a lot, changed my life completely. How did you do that? Well, it started when I learned to drive again. - Really? - Mm. I know it sounds strange, but for me, in my condition, that freedom changed everything. Driving was a way for me to move forward with my life, to let go of the past. Being on the road gave me a new perspective. I started to see the silver lining in even the worst situations. I learned to be calmer, more patient. I even began spending more time in nature. And I started reaching out to old friends. It took time, but little by little, I became a new man. What an inspiring story. Perhaps when we're in Maine, you can help me start the process of changing my life. Oh, Bree, don't you see? The process has already started for you. I suppose it has. Trust me, darling. You won't believe where it's going to end up.