Good Luck Charlie S2E16 - English Transcript

1 Okay, dad, so you know how I always want to go to super adventure land. But you tell me it's too expensive, Even though it's totally worth it 'cause it's the funnest place on earth? Yes. Well, problem solved. "this coupon, good for $5 off admission price. " To super adventure land. Upon $100 purchase at Jensen's groceries, Not valid Tuesday through Sunday, "Closed Monday. " Nice try. But, dad, They have this new ride called the storm twizzler. Nine out of 10 people barf on it. They even take your photo. Gabe, I'll take you to super adventure land. Just as soon as I win the lottery. Oh, hey, speaking of which, Maybe today is your lucky day. Could be. Let's take a look. Hey, there's a seven, right? - Yeah. - That's pretty good. Hey, look at this. We got another seven. That's not too bad. One more seven we got Oh, look at oh, look at oh! You're not going. today's all burnt toast ♪ running late and dad jokes ♪ "has anybody seen my left shoe?" ♪ I close my eyes, take a bite ♪ grab a ride, laugh out loud ♪ there it is up on the roof ♪ I've been there, I survived ♪ so just take my advice ♪ hang in there, baby ♪ things are crazy ♪ but I know your future's bright ♪ hang in there, baby ♪ there's no maybe ♪ everything turns out all right ♪ sure life is up and down ♪ but trust me, it comes back around ♪ you're gonna love who you turn out to be ♪ hang in there, baby. ♪ Hey, mom. Hey, honey. Come meet our new neighbor. This is my daughter Teddy. Debbie dooley. How're you doing? I'm doing dandy, Debbie dooley. Debbie and her husband Doug just moved here from Iowa. Doug's our new deputy police chief. And they have a daughter Charlie's age. - Deedee dooley. - Oh. Debbie needed a babysitter for tomorrow. And I was just telling her how terrific you are. Oh yeah. No, actually my friend Ivy and I. Were gonna take Charlie to make-a-monkey tomorrow. And we'd be happy to bring deedee along. What's make-a-monkey? Oh, it's kind of complicated. It's this place where you You make A monkey. I I guess it's not that complicated. Oh, I meant to ask Where is your dog? We don't have a dog. But that nice Mrs. Dabney next door told me. To beware of Gabe. Gabe is my son. But she said he bit her And went to the bathroom on her lawn. They have a very unique relationship. Welcome to the neighborhood. Oh, I think this one goes No. Oh, doesn't this one go? No. Eh, forget it. Charlie can help us with it later. Oh, my dad's outside. I gotta go. - He doesn't like to be kept waiting. - All right. - See ya. - See ya. No wonder we couldn't do it. It's for ages one to three. You P. J. ? Uh, y-yeah yeah. That's me. So you start going out with a girl. And you don't think it's important to meet the father? Oh, I'm sorry. Makes me wonder what's going on inside your head. Trust me, sir, There's nothing going on in here at all. I'm gonna be watching you. To make sure you treat Skyler right, That you're worthy of her. One more thing: I don't want her to know I've been checking up on you. Well, what does she think you're doing right now? Using the bathroom. Is there anything else? Usually it takes me a while to use the bathroom. - Hey, dad. - Hey. Oh, dad, I think you dropped something. Oh, hey, one of my scratchers. Oh, hey, let's see. Maybe we've won. Seven. Another seven. Been here before. And the last number. What? Look, it's a seven. It's a seven. - I won. I won. - How much did you win? $1 million! Whoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoo! I won, I won, I won! What is going on with dad? He thinks he won the lottery. - Thinks? - Yeah, it's a prank. I bought one of those fake scratchers from the joke store. He fell for that? Whoo-hoo! I'm king of the world! He's gonna find out. Yeah, and I'll be grounded for two weeks. But, you know, I'll have been to super adventure land. It's worth it. I crunched the numbers. I'm so happy, I don't know what to do with myself. Well, yesterday you said if you ever win the lottery. You'd take me to super adventure land. All right, let's go. Get in the car. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. We're millionaires. Forget the car. We're renting a limo. Wait, dad. Okay. Oh, thank you, Dr. Charlie. I'm all better now. Ow. Another shot. No, I've already had seven shots. There's no more owies. Ow. Another shot. Okay, I think I'm kind of over this. Ivy, are you ready to go? Check out what I found in the bathroom Diamond earrings. Watch me work it. Ivy, hey, take those off. Don't you know that deedee's daddy's deputy Doug dooley? Ivy wentz rocking earrings. From the dooley collection. Seriously, take those off. Yeah, they'll look better on you anyway. No, we're here to babysit, not try on - Ooh. - Yeah. Oh, these do look good. Yep, strut your stuff, girl. - It's fun. Go ahead, do it. - Okay. Ooh ooh ooh ooh. Ow! Hey, who did that? - Ooh. Uh-oh. - What? One of the doctors spilled a juice box. At least I hope it's juice. All right, Ivy, why don't you take them outside? I'm gonna clean this up. And then we can go to make-a-monkey. Okay, come on. Come on, deedee. Let's go bye-bye. Go with Ivy. - Let's go to make-a-monkey. - Yay! Eww, and it's not juice. - Where are you going? - Whoa! What are you doing here? I told you I was gonna be watching you. Did you think I was a liar? No, I just I thought you'd be watching me from a distance You know, with, like, a telescope or binoculars or something. I did that for a while. I got bored. Now I asked you a question. Where are you going? Uh, I'm going to the library to meet Skyler. Looking like that? You couldn't even comb your hair? I spent 20 minutes to get it like this. What are you doing? Anytime you do something I do not like, I mark it down in the negative column. Is there a positive column too? Not yet. Okay. Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go back inside and comb my hair, But not because of anything you said Because I want to. Stupid. "bad with doors. " That was four hours of my life I'll never get back. I still have that theme song drilled into my head. first you pick a color brown or green or red ♪ then you take some stuffing and put it in its head ♪ then it goes on for 20 more verses and you wish you were dead ♪ and that's how you make a mo-oh-oh-oh-nkey. ♪ - Oh no. - What? The earrings you're still wearing them. - What? - Yes. Oh! Ivy, Ivy, I just have one earring on. - The other one must have fallen off. - No. Yes yes, I lost her diamond earring. What? Why did you even try them on? - What? That was your idea! - You know better than to listen to me. Okay okay okay okay. All right, let's not panic. I'll just okay, I'll check the car. You you call make-a-monkey and see if they found it. The important thing here is Is not to panic. - Not in the car. - Not at the place. Okay, time to panic. Oh! Calm down. Ivy's got a plan. Oh, Ivy's got a plan. - Look, I think I know where the earring is. - Where? Check it out. I took some pictures at make-a-monkey. Here you are at the stuffing machine two earrings. Oh oh, here I am after the stuffing machine one earring. Yes, so the missing earring is Inside a monkey. Hi, Charlie. What you got there? Monkey. Can I see it? - Get that monkey. - Mm-hmm. Man, that sister of yours. Can put up quite a fight. I know. We'd be better off if we fought an actual monkey. She sure does love that thing. Yeah. Yeah, she sure does. Now let's rip it apart. It's not in here. Oh, this is bad. This is really bad. T, calm down. If the earring isn't in this monkey, It has to be in the other monkey. Right right right right, deedee's monkey That's in the police chief's house. Is that calm enough for you? Man, super adventure land was amazing. It sure is. Hey hey, give me the picture of the log ride again. - Ah, look at your face. - Look at your face. Look at the limo driver's face. Okay, dad, now that we've had our fun, There's something I gotta tell you. And maybe you should sit down. Hey, kids, how do you like mama's new ride? Hey, look at you. Where did you get that? At the mall. Yeah, I did a little shopping. After your dad told me we won the lottery. You can return that, right? Nope, forever rich has a no-return policy. But who cares? Not me. Nothing bothers a millionaire. Nothing bothers a millionaire. - Whoo-hoo! - Whoo! You guys didn't really win the lottery. It was just a prank so I could go to super adventure land. That's really funny. So why aren't you laughing? I'm really sorry. I never meant for it to go this far. Now I know you're probably gonna ground me for, like, two weeks, But under the circumstances, I'm fine with three. I quit my job today. What? You can get it back, right? Uh What? What? We won? I can't believe it. I'll tell you what I can't believe, Duncan It's that you're taking another personal call. Now I asked you to do something. With these bags of saline a half an hour ago. Uh, gotta go. You know what, Karen? You're absolutely right. I should have done something with these saline bags. A long time ago. I mean, this is really overdue. - Oh! Oh! - Yeah yeah. Yeah yeah. Hi. Take me to easy street. So long, suckers. How could you do that? Because I was a millionaire. Rich people play by different rules. I'm so sorry. Dad, are you okay? He's hugging the kettle corn. This is all I have left. Oh, the old orange peel smile always cracks me up. I tried it once with a pineapple not as fun. I gotta go rinse. I can't stand the feel of pulp on my teeth. I love learning new things about you. - Is everything okay? - Everything's great. - Really? - Really, yeah. Everything couldn't be better. You're acting kind of weird. I'm not acting weird, no. If anything, I'm acting not weird. - Why does this always happen? - What? I date a guy for a while. And then all of a sudden he starts acting all strange. Then what happens? Then he just kind of disappears. Hey, mom, what are you doing? Hey. A couple things. Trying to find a new job. And researching military schools for Gabe. Wow, that sounds stressful. Hey, you know, you should go to the gym, Maybe maybe with a workout buddy, Somebody like Debbie dooley. She's fun. Teddy, I know what you're trying to do. Mm-hmm, you want back into Debbie dooley's house, And I know why. - You do? - Yep. You want another babysitting gig. Am I that transparent? Charlie, what happened to your monkey? I don't know. $62 for this? The head's not even facing the right way. That's the way she wanted it. Excuse me, are you Karen? Yeah. Why? I'm Gabe, Amy Duncan's son. Look, the reason my mom quit was all my fault. I played a really mean prank on my parents. And it got way out of hand. Now that you know the truth, can you please give her her job back? Oh, well, If it means that much to you, No! Ha! I gotcha! Oh, you should see your face. I really had you going there, didn't I? Oh good. Good for you, Karen. Okay. Excuse me, Do you know whose lottery ticket this is? Yes. It's mine. I won! I won! I won, I won, I won, I won! Hey hey hey! I've always loved you. Hi. May I? Oh. How much longer are you gonna follow me around? Till I find out the kind of guy you are. Now I'm a guy who's about to restock the cups. "bad with cups. " Look, I only messed up 'cause you made me nervous. Thanks. - Got all I need. - For what? To tell Skyler you're not the guy. See ya. No no. Stop. I am the guy. Skyler is the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I'm not going away, no matter what. So put that in your little notebook. Oh, and number 12, your order's ready. Number 12. Uh-oh. Is this the part where you make me disappear? Relax, kid. You stuck up for yourself. That's what I wanted to hear. So it's okay if I date your daughter? Oh, she's not my daughter. She's his daughter. He always hires me to check out the boyfriends. With that elfin smile, people don't take him too seriously. Deedee was so excited that Teddy was back. That daughter of yours is quite something. Yeah, I make some good daughters. Bob makes the boys. Yesterday it was just so good. To watch deedee have fun with Teddy. - What do you mean, watch? - Oh, well, My husband insisted we put in a nanny-cam. Oh, a nanny-cam? I've never seen one of those. If you have a laptop, I'll show you right now. I do, right behind you. Let's look. Oh good. Oh, there they are. Your daughter has a real gift. It takes me forever to put deedee down. Well, that's a little peculiar. This doesn't seem right. Oh my goodness, she's murdering the monkey. - Oh. - Oh. Really? One neighbor I just want to be friends with one neighbor. Hey, Charlie. So I learned a very important life lesson today, And that is never wear. A pair of accidentally make-a-monkey, s to. Because if you do, something likeHt say "oh my goodness, That girl's just not right in the head. " Hi, Charlie. Oh, and mom's back at work. Actually her boss quit for some unknown reason, And so she got a promotion. Which is why daddy gets one of these too. You're going! Ere Ahh! Oh. Yeah, in a couple of years, When all of us kids have left the house, They'll be all yours. Good luck, Charlie. Hey, what happened to you? Isn't it obvious? My head's on backwards. Yeah, I didn't want to say anything. Doctor, the patients are prepped and ready for surgery. She look a little young to you? I'm sure she's highly trained. You can go first.