4Minute "Volume Up"

MUSIC This week’s Music Monday is the undead edition With 4Mintue’s “Volume Up.” MUSIC Oh my God, we are SO, SO happy with this song. “OHHH MYY GOOODDDD…” “Oh my God, I can’t believe Simon and Martina are gonna review this song even though all they do is hate on T-ARA.” Woah, okay, how did you get in here and who the heck are you? “Uh, clearly I got here through the internet, and my name is Ms. Sha-la-luhl. Ms. Tro-lo-lo?? “You’d obviously get that wrong, you misogynist. But Just keep going, keep going… do what you’re gonna do. Umm.. okay?... This is totally the peppy, catchy 4Minute song that we’ve been waiting to review again! “Oh my God, all Simon and Martina did was hate on the song so much, Oh my God. Social media justice OUT. But we didn’t—we didn’t even say that, we just – UGHH… I’ll get you troll! Anyhow, we totally love 4Minute’s “Huh”, “Music”, “I, My, Me, Mine”, and “Hot issue.” But then suddenly 4Minute’s music stopped sounding so fierce and like, peppy and catchy. Then they attempted that kind of like cutie image in “Heart to heart”which we didn’t like at all. And then “Mirror, Mirror” didn’t really impress us. So then, we just kind of lost interest in their music. But FINALLY their back with a song that is perfect for them. 4nias thank you so much for voting for this for Music Mondays! Umm… wait a second, is your name really 4nia? So… if you are a 4nia, does that make you “fourny??” Do I make you fourny baby? Yeaaaaahhh.. Wait, if I had a robot, and he was a 4nia, Would that make him a “4-nicator??” [DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE] [MY HARDRIVE IS OVERHEATING. DOES NOT COMPUTE] [MY FLOPPY DRIVE IS ABOUT--] Oookkaayyy! Okay, Ah… that’s enough Simon, Alright you’re cut off. Come on. Okay, back to the song. At first, we were really worried About that saxophone solo; which in our opinion, saxophone solos should have kinda like, you know… stayed in the 80’s. No offense Kenny G, had your album and everything but You know, 80’s… When I first heard it I kind of like … “Oh God, I hope this doesn’t continue through the whole song.” But actually It ended up fitting the song really nicely and also, I’m really digging the “oh, OH, oh, OH OH…” It was great in “Bubble Pop” and it was also great in 2AM’s new single. I’m predicting a trend here. “La La La’s” are out. Staccato “Oh, Oh, Ohs” are IN. Otherwise I was totally impressed with Ga-Yoon’s vocals over the building beats. Which were totally the highlight of the song. It gave a really unique and mysterious feel. And suited the vibe of the song quite nicely. But, I didn’t enjoy Hyun-A’s rap parts. Her singing was fine but her rapping, in contrast with the rest of the singing, was really jarring to me. I understand it’s there to build up to the chorus with the building beat and all but we found that her rap side just sounds so childish and taunting. More like a “Na Na Na Na BOO BOO” It’d be great if you’re 6yrs old and on A playground, but in this song, it doesn’t really fit all too well. Besides Hyun-A and Ji- yoon, the other members of the band, well, they get about 10 seconds of vocal time. Now, something we found a little bit weird was that, this is like a 5 person band, but out of the 5 members, It’s really just 3 people that get the most singing time. So-Hyun, who is the youngest member of the band, got about 10 seconds. She sings between 1:53 and 2:03 and then that’s it. Okay, so maybe she’s the youngest member of the band, but Ji-Hyun, who’s supposed to be the leader of the band, she also got 10 seconds. Between like 3:07 and 3:21 Really? That’s it? Doesn’t anyone else find that kinda strange? We had the same complaint for Teen Top when it seemed that Niel and ChunJi Were like the only 2 members singing in that band. But 4Minute is not a rookie group So, I expected more like, evenly divided parts for everyone to sing. I can’t even imagine how angry I’d be if my manager gave me the lyrics to the song and I realize that I have only 2 lines. Some people are complaining that 4Minute should be renamed as “Hyun-A and her backup dancers.” And this song isn’t really arguing against it too much. This is a K-Pop group of 5 people I think the lines should be a little bit more evenly distributed. Oh my gosh! Maybe that’s why everyone looks so cranky! I mean, seriously, what’s up with the stressed out looking, emo/vampire attitude? Do I have to remind you guys that you’re vampires? with hot Korean boy toys around serving you? in a castle… with super awesome fashion. and you can teleport!! Do you know what I would be like if I was a young, hot, fashionable, vampire that could transport anywhere? “Oh my God, being a vampire is SO great! oohh I’m hungry, come here, sexy food bag come here, come to me.” oh, hey what’s up.. (BITE)…. Go away. You can’t just treat me like a piece of meat! (get outta here!) Ohhhh I have a great idea! (TELEPORT) I just came from Disneyland and I passed all the line ups. OHHHHH that was great! (TELEPORT) .. I just got a new dog! (TELEPORT) .. AMAZING, I just came from Big ***’s concert and I totally grabbed TOP’s touchie and I twinged his nipples and no one knew cause I disappeared. HOHOHOHOOO.. I’ve gotta go hang out with my other vampire friends and tell them how much of an awesome day I’ve been having. (TELEPORT) What’s up vampire friend! Yeah! Wild turkey!! GOOO away, 4Minute and I are going to sulk in the castle together and practice our dance routine. wha—why are you so grumpy?? why don’t you like.. travel outside of the castle sometimes. There’s so many more things to do than just like dance in a castle. You are still so new to this, obviously, you don’t understand the burden of being a young, hot, sexy, vampire face. People all judging you for being so hot and dance groping. We breed scary Doberman Pinschers because we like the look of scary puppies. They do nothing but roam the castle you know. Why don’t you go hang out with your lame friend Mordney anyways. “forget about me.” Woah, who pooped in your mouth? Fine, whatever, Mordney and I are gonna go to Paris together. “YEA” and we’re gonna get some French food. I heard that M83 is playing tonight. “WAHAHA!” Just go.. away. UGH! Apart from 4Minute being very grumpy Vampires, we noticed something in this video which led to a bit of a break through. Did anyone else notice that 4Minute rarely ever close their mouths in this video? And by “rarely ever,” I mean, almost never. When their singing they could close their lips just fine to form their words, but when their posing and not singing, their mouths are hanging open all the time. At first we thought this was just a ridiculous fluke. But then we watched the video for a second and third time and we began to be a little bit concerned. What if this is an actual condition? Kinda like how SHINee suffered from Pastelpantephilia and then passed the disease on to Infinite. I think there might be a new epidemic in the K-Pop world. I’ve consulted my doctor friend about this, and this is what she had to say. Hello, I am a doctor. Through your help, pastelpanthephilia is no longer a raging epidemic in the K-Pop world. Through awareness, we helped come… to a cure. But now, there is a new issue on the table that we all need to combat. I am talking about Flaccid Jaw Syndrome. (FJS for short) It is a terrible condition in which the muscles of the lower mandible lose all ability to hold the mouth closed. And we see this clearly with this 4Minute video. If you will follow this graph, You will notice at first, Flaccid Jaw Syndrome was used to create a sexy, seductive effect, but after seeing the mouth dangle open for more than 2 minutes, the sense of arousal becomes one of concern. As the audience looks on and wonders why 4Minute, similarly to Kirsten Stewart in Twilight, can’t seem to arrange their facial expression in any other manner. However, this terrible disease has not yet fully affected K-Pop boy bands. But the approaching signs are there. If you see a K-Pop boy band who is excessively rubbing, or touching their lower lip, It could be a sign that they are suffering from the onset conditions of numbness in the face due to F.J.S. F.J.S is a serious condition that needs to be dealt with. If you see a K-Pop boy band excessively rubbing their lips or touching their face, please, rush them to a hospital immediately. You could prevent F.J.S from ever occurring. I am a Doctor. I’m not sure if that Doctor is a qualified doctor or not but she does raise a good point. MUSIC Now, I really like the song, I totally love the setting. I thought the setting of the video completely matched the feeling of the song. But, I thought the dance was really like uninspiring. Sure, there were some sexy dancing to match with like the sexy, sensual saxophone, But I found myself watching the backup dancers more than 4Minute and that should never, never happen. I really expected like a special dance for the chorus, but it just really ended up being them with their feet like firmly planted on the ground flailing and bouncing around to the music. No hand movements for us to interpret, or like complicated dance move or anything like that. Just like standing and shake. “But that’s what I do when I’m at a club and I’m not a professional dancer.” And I wouldn’t really expect like body groping to count as a dance move, nor would I expect like Brittney Spears’ Toxic like *** rub pushing in counting as a dance move either. I guess I just feel disappointed because I used to go to a dance Hagwon when I first came to Korea, and I learned a couple of 4Minute’s dances from their earlier stuff and I thought that they were so cool. And it was fun and it was complicated to learn, but this… this dance is just like, Meh.. I really feel like I’m seeing a lot of like recycled dance moves here. Ah well, great song, cool video, pretty lame dance. MUSIC As for the English of this song, we give the say… 4.5 out of 5. You liked the *** squeeze didn’t ya? (whispering: Oh, you so nasty) Now, there are only really 2 big English phrases in the song. “Everybody, time to rock.” to me, sounds perfectly fine and makes great sense. The chorus, when I first heard it though, sounded more like “Pump the *** up.” which to me, would result in a totally different party. But would result in mouths still hanging open. Anyways, upon closer inspection, turns out that they’re saying “Pump up the volume up.” Which is a bit awkward, you don’t need 2 “ups.” You don’t say… “Fill up my glass up.” or “Turn off the stereo off.” but then when I listened to it more, I think there might be 2 different sentences. Like, “Pump up the volume,” and then “Up” like, their repeating “up. So, I’m okay with the chorus now. But seeing how I docked TOP some minor points for being irritating with his pronunciation of “trauma” So, I’m gonna have to do the same thing with 4Minute’s “Volume Up” which sounds like “WHOOL-YOUMM-UP.” So, minus .5 for 4minute… derrsss.. go away…. MUSIC Last week we asked you one of the most EPIC SHOWDOWN QUESTIONS EVARRRRR!! (With an “EVAR”) Whose debut did you prefer? EXO’s debut or BAP’s debut? And After like 20 thousand votes on Facebook and probably one of the closest battles ever, we’re giving the victory BARELYYYY… toooooo. EXO. They were only up by like 50 votes and the leads kept wiffle, waffling constantly but we were afraid that if we didn’t announce a winner, you guys might be like, “Off with their heads!” So, we give this win to EXO, just barely over BAP. But I think there is an important moral to be learned here. Good bros think alike. For this week’s undead edition, we ask you which undead concept video you preferred? 4Minute’s Vampires in “Volume Up” or T-ARA’s Zombies in Lovey Dovey Zombie Edition? Leave your votes in the comments or in the Facebook poll and we’ll announce the winners next week. Also, thanks to all the 4nias who voted for 4Minute this week. Let us know what video you want us to review for next week’s Music Monday. Sistar? Shinhwa? Make your vote count by heading on over to eatyourkimchi.com/ kpopcharts. The only place we count votes for Music Monday. “But what if I wanna leave a comment about you voting for a band?” By all means you can do so. “Will it count?” Nope! “Oh.” Lastly, don’t forget to like and favorite this video and to subscribe for more Music Mondays. Take it away Spudgy. MUSIC