Masters of Sex S1E6 - English Transcript

Previously on Masters of Sex AUSTIN: The study is back. Are you signing up? Please say yes. JANE: Heck yes. WILLIAM: This is your partner for the evening. AUSTIN: I-I've never not risen to the occasion ever. The reason I couldn't *** that woman is because I was expecting Jane. WILLIAM: Nonperformance is an equally valuable part of the study. DALE: You're gonna study actual sex? WILLIAM: Eventually. DALE: *** sex, too? WILLIAM: I met a young man at the brothel. Uh, a *** Uh, homosexual. The men who pay to see him, they're salesmen or lawyers or a provost of a major university. BARTON: What the hell is this, Bill? WILLIAM: Virginia. Dr. DePaul. VIRGINIA: Doctor, if there's anything I can ever do to help you LILLIAN: I could use a coffee. LIBBY: Is that the heartbeat? [ Chuckles ] WILLIAM: Libby LIBBY: Just look at me and tell me. Is this baby gone? WILLIAM: I'm so sorry. VIRGINIA: What happened was not your fault. WILLIAM: It wasn't? So whose fault was it? VIRGINIA: You are a powerful man, but you are not that powerful. WILLIAM: [ Crying ] FREUD: A clitoral *** is a purely adolescent phenomenon. The proper response of mature women upon reaching puberty is a natural transfer of pleasurable feelings from the *** to the *** during *** intercourse. An inability to achieve *** through intercourse is an indication of an arrested development in a female, whose *** frigidity requires psychiatric treatment. ANNA: My father revolutionized modern thinking with his views on female sexuality. But at the end of his life, he admitted his understanding of the female psyche was limited. If you want to know more about the nature of femininity, he said, you will have to consult the poets. Which I'm sure makes all you doctors sitting here today very nervous. [ Laughter ] I will now take questions. LUCILLE: You're making some of the girls here uncomfortable. It's okay, Kathleen. He's just waiting for Jane again. KATHLEEN: I heard she's not coming in today. AUSTIN: Did she call in sick or, uh KATHLEEN: She did say something about going to see a doctor. Virginia took her. Oh, what was the name Dr. Lloydmaybe orDr. Freed? VIRGINIA: Yes, Dr. Freud, Virginia Johnson Washington University. It's a great honor to hear you speak in person. Doctor, your father's theory that the female *** achieved by *** is "immature" compared to one achieved through *** intercourse has that ever been scientifically proven? ANNA: I'm not sure I understand what you're asking. VIRGINIA: Has there ever been any scientific evidence to substantiate this theory any physiological data t-that differentiates between the two types of orgasms? ANNA: Well, I, for one, can't imagine how procuring such data would be possible let alone decent. [ Audience chuckles ] [ Laughter ] [ Doorbell rings ] - LIBBY: Hi. - NANCY: Hey. LIBBY: I hope I'm not barging in. NANCY: No. LIBBY: How How are you? How's How's the baby? NANCY: Fine, we're all fine Busy bees. And look at you. You've done something new with your hair. LIBBY: Yes, I had it cut a few weeks ago. [ Baby cries ] Um, Bill and I are going out of town for a few days to Miami. And I called Silver's about the milk delivery, but I didn't want the mail to pile up. NANCY: Don't give the mail another thought. You just sit by the pool and drink mai tais. I'm so jealous. LIBBY: I'd better go. Thank you. NANCY: What are neighbors for? And you must give me the name of the girl who does your hair. You look darling. [ Baby cries ] WILLIAM: Did you get the minutes from the Obstetrical Society dinner? VIRGINIA: Yes. WILLIAM: And the new issue of Fertility and Sterility? VIRGINIA: Oh, and before I forget Your I. D. WILLIAM: [ Sighs ] Now you're impersonating me. I hope you didn't tarnish my good name with Anna Freud. VIRGINIA: Not at all. Although, I did leave a bit curious. So, according to Freud, there are two types of orgasms, immature and mature? WILLIAM: Have janitorial give the place the once over. There's dust in here from the Truman administration. VIRGINIA: So he's saying that one *** is better than the other? WILLIAM: [ Sighs ] As I understand it, he's saying when a woman reaches puberty, there's a transfer of *** response from the *** to the ***. The external or clitoral *** is the province of adolescent girls. Mature women experience *** response intravaginally with their husbands. Otherwise they're frigid. VIRGINIA: But who would believe something like that? WILLIAM: My patients. That's why we keep the exam rooms stocked with Kleenex. A quarter of the women who walk through my door tell me they're frigid. VIRGINIA: Well, maybe that's because their husbands can't get the job done. Does he ever address the man's role in any of this? WILLIAM: Honestly, all of Freud's theories have their limits. I stopped reading him after my college paper on the Oedipus complex. I nearly put my own eyes out. OhDr. Hill wanted me to look at his paper on colonic endometriosis. VIRGINIA: It's not exactly beach reading. Bill, you're not taking all that stuff to Florida. That's ridiculous. WILLIAM: [ Sighs ] I haven't been on vacation since1953. VIRGINIA: Well, Libby needs some time away. And you do, too, Bill. [ Elevator bell dings ] [ Car door opens ] BARTON: Hey. DALE: Missed you, stranger. BARTON: No. DALE: No? What's your pleasure, then? BARTON: I need to know if you've ever mentioned my name to anyone disclosed the the nature of our relationship. DALE: Are you asking do I kiss and tell? 'Cause if I did, I wouldn't have any repeat business. BARTON: You you never spoke to a sex researcher? DALE: A A what? Sex researcher? Are there people who do that They research sex? I want that job. BARTON: I want you to tell me the truth. DALE: Am I the only boy who's ever shown you a good time? You didn't strike me as a first-timer when we got together. So maybe one of them told somebody. Look, I wouldn't want to ruin a good thing. AndI'm not just saying that as a businessman. I like you. I'm glad to see you again. LIBBY: I bought you some athletic socks. You can't wear argyles on the beach Unless you want to look like the Duke of Windsor. WILLIAM: Hmm. LIBBY: [ Chuckles ] I still haven't dared to try on my bathing suit. Of course there is a nude beach near the hotel. We could leave our suits at home Feel the sun glinting off our naked bodies. WILLIAM: Hmm? LIBBY: Oh, you're somewhere else. WILLIAM: In an Austrian prison with Dr. Freud "Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. " Not the most rigorous science. LIBBY: I asked Nancy Lawson to fetch the mail. You should have seen the way that she stared at me Like I'm a charity case. WILLIAM: Nancy Lawson is a bore. LIBBY: They all pretend like nothing's happened. But I was pregnant. They all know it. WILLIAM: No one knows it in Florida. Better to focus on the future. LIBBY: I keep thinking about Christmases when I was a girl. Before my mother died, we we always had a big Douglas fir and stockings by the fire [ Chuckles ] A plate of carrots for the reindeer. Do you still hang stockings if you don't have a family? WILLIAM: We'll hang mistletoe. Libby, we have a family. Just the two of us That's enough for me. [ Crickets chirping ] MARGARET: Barton? Is that you? BARTON: Sorry I'm so late. I was coerced into having drinks with the new dean of faculty. MARGARET: Oh. BARTON: Now I can tell the board firsthand what a dullard he is. MARGARET: [ Chuckles ] BARTON: Mrs. Scully, are you reading a dirty book? MARGARET: A loan from Vivian. I wanted to read it before I saw it. Everyone's mad about it. "She rubbed her fingertips over her ***, "and this caused "an odd tightening somewhere between her legs that puzzled her but was, somehow, very pleasant. " I'm not sure I want our daughter reading this. BARTON: She's young and curious. Don't worry. This phase will pass. I'm gonna turn in. Good night, dear. MARGARET: Night. BARTON: Sleep tight. [ Door opens and closes ] [ Elevator bell dings ] JANE: It's okay. I'll get the next. AUSTIN: Wait, hold on. I was hoping to run into you. JANE: I've been taking the stairs. - AUSTIN: Why? - JANE: [ Sighs ] Because you were hoping to run into me. AUSTIN: Wait. What's wrong with that? JANE: I can't fix your problem, Austin. AUSTIN: I I don't need it fixed. It's not bro [ Sighs ] Look, that's not why I was looking for you. I was concerned. Kathleen said you went to see a doctor, which JANE: A different kind of doctor. The kind you might benefit from. AUSTIN: Uh, a urologist? JANE: A psychoanalyst. [ Sighs ] Have you ever read "On the Universal Tendency towards Debasement in the Sphere of Love"? AUSTIN: Is that like "Ode to a Grecian Urn"? JANE: It's not a poem. It's an essay by Sigmund Freud. I think you'd find it very illuminating. AUSTIN: Can't you give me the headlines? JANE: The problem's not in your pants, Austin, it's in your head. MAN: Going up? LILLIAN: Is he in? VIRGINIA: Oh, he's in Florida, attempting to vacation. Is there anything that I could help you with? LILLIAN: Tell him I had Dr. Papanikolaou coming in today to discuss cervical testing. I thought he might like to join us for lunch. VIRGINIA: Dr. Papanikolas LILLIAN: Papanikolaou. VIRGINIA: To discuss pap smear. LILLIAN: You're familiar with the pap smear? VIRGINIA: I try to keep abreast of what's happening in the field. Your proposal for mandatory smear testing was on Dr. Masters' desk. LILLIAN: If the test detected male cancers, you'd be reading about it on a billboard. The test is standard at New York Hospital even on the *** ward. VIRGINIA: But not here. LILLIAN: It will if I have anything to say about it. I'm going to start a clinical outreach program. Any country doctor can perform the test. They just need to be taught. That alone could save millions of women's lives. VIRGINIA: I actually may be able to help. I know I don't have an MD, but I do know which strings to pull around here to get things done. LILLIAN: All right. I need Dr. Frank and Dr. Canin to sponsor my proposal. I need the official sanction of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. And I need seed money $12,000 for the first 6 months. Can you pull those strings? LIBBY: I've never seen so many palm trees. It's like the Congo. WILLIAM: Except hotter. The name is Masters. Six nights. RECEPTIONIST: Welcome to the Tropicale. What, um, special occasion are we celebrating? LIBBY: It's our anniversary RECEPTIONIST: Well, in that case, I I think we can do better than a junior suite. JEAN: He just transferred here from Northwestern, a professor of entomology bugs, early 60s, a little on the bald side, but he's never been married before. HARRIET: A bald bug doctor. I can't imagine he has. MARGARET: Oh, Harriet. LEONA: Don't waste your time. Harriet's evenings are a little busy lately, aren't they? HARRIET: Okay. What Leona is dying for me to tell you is that I, um I volunteered for a study at the university on human sexuality. It's for science. And, um, uh, the research is being supervised by Bill Masters. And he's delivered half of our children. And there's nothing I've got that he hasn't seen. JEAN: So when you say research, you mean LEONA: She means sex. MARGARET: With Robert? After all the ugliness you two went through? HARRIET: Not Robert UmNumber M-51-147. It's completely anonymous. JEAN: You don't even know his name? HARRIET: I know that he's tall, I know that he has all his hair, and I know he's taught me more about how my body works than Robert did in 23 years. MARGARET: Oh, God. Is it that different? HARRIET: You know what it's like? My shoes. Growing up, my mother believed that ladies were meant to have small feet. So she would tell me "You're a 6 1/2. You're a 6 1/2. " You know, up until my 20's, I bought shoes that were 6 1/2. One day, a clerk at Vandervoort's looked at me and he said, "Excuse me, Miss, um, "I look at feet all day, and you are not a 6 1/2. " I walked out of there in a size-8 loafer, and it felt like I was walking onwhipped cream. JEAN: I can see why the bug doctor holds little appeal. [ Chuckles ] WILLIAM: As soon as you can. BELLHOP: Of course, sir. WILLIAM: [ Sighs ] I asked him to have room service send up some champagne. LIBBY: It's a king-size. Could sleep a whole family. WILLIAM: [ Sighs deeply ] Is that singing? LIBBY: I think it's Pop Goes the Weasel. WILLIAM: [ Sighs ] Now they're jumping on the bed. Could you put me through to the front desk? LIBBY: Bill, you don't have to complain. WILLIAM: It seems there's a jungle gym in the room next door. My wife would be LIBBY: Never mind. The room is lovely. Thank you. I know you want to protect me. We can't spend the rest of our lives hiding from other people's children. [ Moaning and groaning ] WILLIAM: I don't think those are children. LIBBY: [ Chuckles ] Ladies' Home Journal did name this the number-one honeymoon spot. WILLIAM: Well, did they specify room 404? [ Slamming and moaning ] [ Chuckling ] Oh. LIBBY: [ Chuckles ] WILLIAM: [ Chuckles ] Happy anniversary. LIBBY: [ Chuckles ] [ Moaning continues ] [ Both chuckle ] JANE: "Where they love, they have no desire. Where they desire, they cannot love. " VIRGINIA: What's that? JANE: Freud on marriage I think. VIRGINIA: I'm not so sure I care what a male psychologist has to say about female sexuality. JANE: He has a cigar. He obviously knew what he was talking about. VIRGINIA: Really? Do you want to sleep with your father? Do you wish you had a ***? JANE: I wish a few men around here didn't. VIRGINIA: I'll tell you my theory. Freud was a bad lover. One night he caught his hausfrau with her hand in her drawers. And he's been punishing women ever since. JANE: I can climax when someone is touching my breast. VIRGINIA: You can? Is that true? JANE: Well, not all the time, but it has happened. VIRGINIA: Wow. JANE: He would call that an immature ***, right? VIRGINIA: Do you really believe that there's a difference between orgasms? JANE: Well, they wouldn't say it if it wasn't true. VIRGINIA: They said the world was flat until somebody asked. Well, then, where does it end? I think that Freud's theories have their limits. I mean, he was a psychologist. We, on the other hand We have science on our side. JANE: We? [ Indistinct conversation ] LIBBY: Bill. Bill, Bill. BARB: Shut the door. Shut the door. MORRIS: [ Groans ] LIBBY: That's them. It's the honeymooners. [ Indistinct conversation ] WILLIAM: That's "Pop Goes the Weasel. " VIRGINIA: So we will leave your *** out of this entirely. JANE: Understood. VIRGINIA: And while you use Ulysses, I'll be monitoring your vital signs and notating visual changes Blood pressure, respiration, rate of contractions. You've done this before. JANE: But always while Dr. Masters is here. Do you think he'll be okay with us doing this while he's out of town? VIRGINIA: If the data's compelling, he won't give it a second thought. JANE: Okay, stud. Dr. Freud's reputation is depending on you. VIRGINIA: Don't put too much pressure on him. We all know how that turns out. And remember, no clitoral stimulation. JANE: What if I accidentally touch it? It's not like I've got eyes down there. VIRGINIA: Well, do your best, Jane. And when you're done with Ulysses, then we will take as long of a break as you need and we'll start in again using manual stimulation. Thenwe will let the facts speak for themselves. JANE: [ Chuckles ] VIRGINIA: EEG readouts match to a "T. " Cardiac response is identical as are all other physiological responses. Actually, there's a slight uptick in this one in terms of intensity. JANE: Was that the Ulysses or VIRGINIA: You. Solo. JANE: My *** beat my ***? That's crazy. [ Mouthwash swishing ] [ Slamming and moaning ] LIBBY: I believe the weasel is popping again. WILLIAM: That makes three times in one day. LIBBY: [ Chuckles ] But who's counting? WILLIAM: You'd think they'd die of exhaustion. They must be 70 years old. LIBBY: Well, Mr. Dooley from church plays a round of golf every morning, and he's almost 80. WILLIAM: It's uncanny. They're like lions. Uh, when an African lioness is in estrus, she copulates every LIBBY: [ Chuckles ] There were girls like that in my sorority. Come to bed. WILLIAM: She's in the plateau state. LIBBY: And we are in the sunshine stateto relax. WILLIAM: [ Sighs ] LIBBY: We could, um, give them a run for their money Try to drown them out. What are you doing? WILLIAM: Nothing. [ Moaning continues ] LIBBY: Are you timing them? WILLIAM: They're senior citizens. Their endocrine systems don't produce sex hormones anymore. It's like from a medical standpoint, it's LIBBY: Peculiar. And not very flattering to the woman who is in this bed who happens to be your wife. [ Moaning continues ] WILLIAM: It's like something out of Ripley's. LOUISE: Excuse me? Um, my friend told me about this study. You're looking for participants? I was hoping to apply. LILLIAN: You're looking for Dr. William Masters. He's out until Monday. LOUISE: I'm sorry. My friend said she met with a woman A Dr. Johnson I assumed LILLIAN: Mrs. Johnson is Dr. Masters' secretary. You'll find her down the corridor to the left Small, brunette, ambitious. LOUISE: Thank you. LILLIAN: She's not a doctor. VIRGINIA: Bill, I know how to read an EKG. And I'm telling you, they're indistinguishable. Except one was a little longer and a little stronger. Care to guess which? WILLIAM: I would not. VIRGINIA: A clitoral *** is just as good as a vaginal *** maybe even better. WILLIAM: Based on your extensive study. VIRGINIA: Well, it's a start. This is something, Bill. I know it. VIRGINIA: The only thing I don't know is how two orgasms can be the same since they involve two completely different body parts. WILLIAM: Put down the phone and pick up in my office. VIRGINIA: I'm in your office. WILLIAM: Really? In my chair? VIRGINIA: Standing. Actually. WILLIAM: Well, face the door 10:00. Third or fourth from the right, there's an anatomy textbook. VIRGINIA: This is from the University of Rochester? Bill, it's 12 years overdue. WILLIAM: Refer me to the ethics committee. Now, there's a plate in the back Uh, a cross section of the female's sex organs. See how the clitoral crura extend along the *** arch almost to the bone? It's at least conceivable that Freud's mature *** VIRGINIA: Is just another clitoral ***. WILLIAM: Because the *** is stimulated in both cases. VIRGINIA: So, uh, does this mean that WILLIAM: Keep going. VIRGINIA: Well, it means that a woman doesn't need a man to provide pleasure at all. In fact, we may be better off without you. WILLIAM: That was not exactly my point. And let's not burn Freud in effigy just yet, either. We're talking about a single data point. One woman does not a study make. VIRGINIA: But why couldn't it be an entire study? WILLIAM: We'll start when I get back. [ Sighs ] Uh, the guide book is useless Unless you want to see a seminole Indian wrestle an alligator. [ Seagulls cry ] LIBBY: [ Inhales deeply ] This isn't working. WILLIAM: I think you look nice. LIBBY: No, Bill I I thought that getting away would make things better. [ Chuckles ] WILLIAM: Libby LIBBY: We obviously have different ways of grieving. And you You need your work. And I need There must be a flight out tonight. WILLIAM: [ Sighs ] We can come back in the fall. We'll make a week of it. LIBBY: I'm staying. WILLIAM: I don't understand. LIBBY: I want to be here. And I don't need you here if you are more interested in what is happening next door or back at the office. WILLIAM: Well, I can't leave you [ chuckling ] alone. LIBBY: If that is the reason that you'd stay, then I would rather that you didn't. WILLIAM: No, I LIBBY: Bill, I'm not I'm not gonna argue with you. But I'm not asking either. Go. AUSTIN: [ Sighs ] Look, I skimmed that Freud article and frankly, a lot of it seemed like *** to me All the stuff about mothers. I'm not in love with my mother, okay? ZUSMAN: It's interesting that that's what you took away from the article. Let's explore that for a moment then. Would you say you love your mother? AUSTIN: My mom has nothing to do with my ***. ZUSMAN: What if we were to posit just posit that this sex study caused you to feel judged. Well, you'd want to return to a place free of judgment, wouldn't you? But this is a place that you associate with a kind of maternal love which, when sexualized, feels wrong illicit. So your body has short-circuited as a means of solving the problem for you. AUSTIN: I have no idea what you're talking about. ZUSMAN: I think you do. AUSTIN: No. No, I I don't. I I really don't. ZUSMAN: I think you do. WOMAN: Nurse Howell, please report to neonatal. [ Typewriter clacking ] [ Indistinct conversations ] MARGARET: Virginia? VIRGINIA: Oh, Mrs. Scully, how nice to see you. MARGARET: I, uhwas just meeting my daughter for lunch and thought I might pop in and say hello. VIRGINIA: Vivian is doing a wonderful job. Everyone here just loves her. MARGARET: Well, she says you've been especially kind to her. You wouldn't think a girl that pretty would have confidence problems, but maybe that's the one thing she got from me. [ Chuckles ] VIRGINIA: Well, I'm sorry to tell you Dr. Masters is out of town. MARGARET: What? Hmm? VIRGINIA: Oh, you wanted to say hello? MARGARET: T-to you. VIRGINIA: Oh. MARGARET: Would you mind if I VIRGINIA: No. [ Crickets chirping ] WILLIAM: [ Sighs ] [ Sighs ] [ Telephone rings ] VIRGINIA: By the time I count to 10, your hands better be washed. - Henry, I mean it. - Hello? WILLIAM: Virginia, it's Bill. VIRGINIA: Oh, Bill, good You will never guess who came to see me today TESSA: Mama, Henry's making me do all of it VIRGINIA: Bill, you know, I'm actually just I'm getting dinner on the table for the kids. Do you mind if I if I call you right back? WILLIAM: I'm at home. VIRGINIA: What's that? WILLIAM: I'm back. I came back. VIRGINIA: Oh, is everything all right? Did the Did the weather turn? WILLIAM: Uh, Libby stayed. VIRGINIA: Oh. WILLIAM: I think we should plan a session for tomorrow night. Get some data on your hypothesis. That men are completely unnecessary. [ Festive music plays ] [ Indistinct conversations ] MORRIS: Uh, excuse me, Miss, would you care to join us? BARB: It took us forever to get a table. LIBBY: That would be lovely. Thank you. BARB: They sat us over there first under an air vent. I didn't know you could freeze in Miami. LIBBY: [ Chuckles ] MORRIS: My wife detests air-conditioning. BARB: And he'd like to sleep in an ice box. LIBBY: May I ask you two, um, how How long you've been married? MORRIS: 180 years. With time off for good behavior. BARB: We met in high school. He was captain of the wrestling team, and I was a pom-pom girl. MORRIS: I pinned her in the first round. BARB: [ Chuckles ] LIBBY: Well, I think it's very romantic. All those years and you could still be mistaken for newlyweds. MORRIS: I'll tell you the trick. You shower your children with love until they're 18 years of age, then you kick them the hell out. Gives your marriage a fresh coat of paint. BARB: We have three boys. And you? LIBBY: UmI have a I have a boy and a girl. BARB: Oh, well, I bet they're both as gorgeous as their mother. LIBBY: Um, well, Timmy Timmy is my rock and he's 12, and Susan is 10. MORRIS: Well, when they're And tell your husband. LIBBY: [ Chuckles ] Um, my, um my husband is dead. A plane crash. BARB: You're still wearing his ring. Oh, you poor lamb. LIBBY: Oh, it was a It was a long time ago. When it first happened, I kept thinking I would wake up and discover it was all a dream. Then I realized it was up to me to decide what kind of life I would have. BARB: God helps those who help themselves. VIRGINIA: It'll be a full house tonight. WILLIAM: And have you told them what'll be expected of them? VIRGINIA: One go-round with Ulysses and one without. There is one candidate that I need to run by you Margaret Scully. WILLIAM: You want to enlist the provost's wife? VIRGINIA: She came to see me yesterday. She seemed very anxious to make some kind of a contribution. WILLIAM: I'm sure she meant financially. VIRGINIA: [ Chuckling ] Bill, she knows about the study. And she wants to be a part of it. WILLIAM: And is she aware of her husband's reservations about the study? VIRGINIA: I don't know. I do know that she does not intend to tell him about it. She was very clear about that. I, of course, said I needed to check with you. WILLIAM: I don't think it's a wise decision. VIRGINIA: We let Lorraine Bach in. Her husband's on the board. If she wants to make a contribution to science, why would we turn her away? [ Festive music plays ] WOMAN: There you are. And what would you like? MORRIS: Three more daiquiris. BARB: [ Chuckles ] LIBBY: Mmm. So much for lunch. [ Laughter ] MORRIS: Well, you know, you got to get your jollies while you can. Khrushchev's got his finger on the button. One push and we're just dust blowing over Aruba. BARB: Don't be so gloomy. I can't bear to watch the news. I think that Eisenhower's a weasel. LIBBY: [ Chuckles ] [ Clears throat ] Here I thought that you liked weasels. [ Chuckles ] Oh, uhum I I think that you have the room next to mine. Thin walls. My Tommy used to love that song. Do do-do-do do I used to sing him to sleep at night. BARB: No, is it Is it Tommyoror Timmy? LIBBY: Um It, uh it's, uh It's Thomas. But I call him Timmy. [ Chuckling ] It's a long story. MARGARET: Uh, I guess I must've been, what? Let's see. Um Al-almost 20 My daughter's age. VIRGINIA: [ Chuckles ] And how often do you engage in intercourse now? WILLIAM: I'm sorry the questions are so personal, Margaret. Um, if this is too awkward MARGARET: No, of course not. It's all right. Thank you, Bill. Whoo, well, Barton's a very busy man, you know. Things tapered off considerably after Vivian was born. VIRGINIA: On average, what would you say? We just need to quantify it with a number. MARGARET: [ Smacks lips ] Once a yearor less. VIRGINIA: And what is your *** response? WILLIAM: Your physical response during intercourse. MARGARET: It's, you know [ Inhales deeply ] Notreally painful exactly, m-more likeuh, rubbing. Rubbing It's a rubbing sensation that can feel [clears throat] I'd sayprotracted. VIRGINIA: And this sensation, does it build to anything a feeling of pleasure, a kind of ache, a tensing of the muscles? MARGARET: There is a certain tension. Yes. VIRGINIA: And do you experience release? MARGARET: Oh, when it's over? Absolutely Tremendous relief. WILLIAM: Margaret Have you ever experienced an ***? MARGARET: I don't know. Maybe. VIRGINIA: You would know. MARGARET: I would? VIRGINIA: Yes. MARGARET: Then, no. I guess not. But I'm a fast learner. I taught myself Italian. I'm sure with a little instruction WILLIAM: Unfortunately, this study is limited to subjects that have had an ***. MARGARET: Without exception? WILLIAM: That is one of our baselines. We've had to make it a hard and fast rule in order for the data to be consistent. We're investigating the entire cycle of *** response, from initial excitement through to climax. MARGARET: No, of of course. That makes sense. I I understand completely. And I I'm I am so sorry to have wasted your time. VIRGINIA: Margaret. MARGARET: Bill. [ Sighs ] [ Elevator bell dings ] [ Sobs ] [ Soft jazz music plays ] [ Knock on door ] LIBBY: Morris. [ Chuckles ] Is the, uh Is the music too loud? I can turn it off. MORRIS: Holy moly, I thought our room was plush. [ Whistles ] [ Chuckling ] You could Well, you could park a Cadillac in here. [ Both chuckle ] Oh, listen, I, um I pinched this from the bar. LIBBY: [ Chuckles ] MORRIS: Barb and I thought you just might like to join us for a a nightcap. LIBBY: Oh, the room would start spinning. MORRIS: Well, there's a cure for that. You just spin in the opposite direction. I bet you're a ***-up dancer. Now, look at you. You're built like a ballet dancer. Do it. Again. [ Chuckles ] Come here. LIBBY: [ Chuckles ] Maybe Maybe we should go meet Barb. MORRIS: Well, actually, uh Barb turned in already for the night. Itold a little white lie. Is my nose growing? LIBBY: [ Chuckles nervously ] Morris MORRIS: Hmm? I know another way to make the room spin. LIBBY: Barb is right next door. MORRIS: Barb likes to listen just like you. LIBBY: What? What? But she's your wife. MORRIS: Well, your wife is like your home You live there, you know every nook and cranny. But it's always nice to travel Hmm? Sleep in different beds. LIBBY: You should leave before I call my husband. MORRIS: Wait a minute, I thought your husband was dead. LIBBY: Well, you misunderstood me. MORRIS: [ Clears throat ] Okay. [ Sighs ] [ Whistles ] LIBBY: [ Exhales deeply ] [ Door closes ] [ Crickets chirping ] BARTON: What do you call this? MARGARET: [ Sighs ] Shepherd's pie. BARTON: Just sensational. VIVIAN: Ethan cooked dinner for me the other night. MARGARET: Oh? How was it? VIVIAN: He made a piece of meat that tasted like a desk blotter. MARGARET: Well, I hope you were polite. It's always nice to be encouraging of men's efforts in the kitchen. Your father can't boil water. BARTON: I made an omelette once when you had your tonsillectomy. MARGARET: You ruined the wallpaper. BARTON: You ever seen the way short-order cooks flip eggs? MARGARET: We had to repaper the whole kitchen. BARTON: It's all in the wrist. MARGARET: I loved that old wallpaper. VIVIAN: Why don't you two go out after dinner? BARTON: What for? VIVIAN: I don't know. A change of pace. BARTON: Well, it's already 7:30. VIVIAN: So? Get a sundae down at Schiff's orgo to the pictures. "Peyton Place" is playing at the Rialto. So what if you haven't finished the book? You could make the 8:00. BARTON: Tell you what, you go, sweetheart. I know how much you like those weepers. I'd be asleep before the second reel. LILLIAN: You have a minute, Dr. Masters? I'm assuming Virginia is gone for the evening. WILLIAM: Actually, no. She went to get sandwiches. She'll be back. I'm sorry for missing lunch the other day. You and Dr. Papanikolaou have known each other for a long time? LILLIAN: When I became interested in cytopathology at Penn, he and I exchanged correspondence. WILLIAM: And he mentored you? LILLIAN: No. He answered a few questions. I've never had a mentor. WILLIAM: Oh. Well, they, uh They help, of course, but they're not entirely necessary. You've done excellent work without one. LILLIAN: Maybe if there'd been more women ahead of me. Don't you find it interesting, Dr. Masters, that obstetrics is a field dominated by men? WILLIAM: Medicine is a field dominated by men. LILLIAN: And at least twice a day, I'm mistaken for a member of this secretary pool, just because I'm a woman. And yet, your secretary WILLIAM: Mrs. Johnson? LILLIAN: Don't you mean "Dr. Johnson"? That's how patients address her when you're not here. She acts like she's in charge. WILLIAM: She acts like a professional. If a patient mistakes her for a doctor, that's likely the reason why. LILLIAN: Then she should handle their mistakes like a professional and correct them. Mrs. Johnson hasn't earned those credentials and I take offense to a woman who uses her beauty and allure as a substitute for the knowledge and skill I sacrificed years to acquire. WILLIAM: So, why aren't you having this conversation with Mrs. Johnson? LILLIAN: Because I respect you as a colleague, Dr. Masters. In fact, I admired your intellect long before I knew you. But at this moment, it would seem the mind I had so esteemed is out-matched by another part of your anatomy. I can't help but wonder which part is making the judgments. [ Door closes ] MICHAEL: All right, let's talk about this. CONSTANCE: I don't want to talk. I just want you to leave. MICHAEL: Just like that? CONSTANCE: That's right. MICHAEL: We're not kids, we're adults. CONSTANCE: And we're going to behave like adults. MICHAEL: I kissed you, you kissed me. That's affection, not carnality. That's affection, not ***. You ought to know the difference. CONSTANCE: And what do you call a man who thinks about nothing but MICHAEL: Human. [ Indistinct conversations ] MARGARET: [ Sniffling ] AUSTIN: [ Clears throat ] Mrs. Scully? MARGARET: Oh, Dr. Langham, w-what a nice surprise. AUSTIN: Dr. Scully? MARGARET: Oh, no, um, he couldn't make it. It's not really his cup of tea. And your pretty wife? AUSTIN: Oh, Elise is in bed by 9:00every single night Three kids, you know. Me, on the other hand, I can't fall asleep before 2:00. [ Chuckles ] Can I walk you to your car? MARGARET: Oh, thank you. So, what do you for that Your insomnia? AUSTIN: Go to movies Doesn't matter which ones. Um, swim laps at the university pool. The pool was closed tonight. MARGARET: I used to swim in college The one place being tall actually worked to my advantage. I'm just up ahead. AUSTIN: Sometimes, if I can't sleep, I just walk around the neighborhood. You know what's strange, when you're outside looking in, there's always a glow to someone else's house. But when it's you inside, you can't imagine anyone looking through your window and seeing it that way. I'm sorry, that's not I don't know what I'm saying. MARGARET: That made perfect sense to me. AUSTIN: It did? MARGARET: You're a deep thinker. AUSTIN: Well, not really, not me. I failed my boards twice. I shouldn't go telling that to the provost's wife, though. [ Both chuckle ] MARGARET: I can keep a secret. Oh, you were probably just nervous. I get nervous taking an eye exam. AUSTIN: I, um I participated in this study recently It wasn't a test exactly but it was kind of, um a performance evaluation. The pressure really got to me. MARGARET: A study at the hospital? AUSTIN: Doesn't matter. MARGARET: Whenever my daughter has a test, I tell her to just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and remember you know more than you think you do. It all comes back to you when you can justrelax. This is me. AUSTIN: Say, um, I didn't ask you. What'd you think of the movie? MARGARET: [ Chuckles ] I'm such a sap. I cried through the whole thing, can't you tell? I don't usually look like this AUSTIN: Look like what? MARGARET: Like Like this. [ Car seat creaking ] [ Moaning and sighing ] Yes. AUSTIN: [ Groans ] LOUISE: [ Moaning ] Did you get what you wanted? VIRGINIA: We did. Thank you. LOUISE: I'm in nursing school actually. VIRGINIA: Oh? LOUISE: So all of this is really interesting to me. It's funny. I thought you were a doctor before. VIRGINIA: Me? Oh, no. LOUISE: Oh, you act like one Like you could've gone to medical school. VIRGINIA: Instead I got married. And divorcedtwice. Had kids. I didn't know I was good at this before it was too late. LOUISE: Well, I'm not getting married till I'm 36. I've decided. Besides, I can take care of myself. [ Chuckles ] In more ways than one, I guess. VIRGINIA: Let's hope there are more and more like you. 'Cause when a woman can please herself as well as man can, or better it's a brave new world. How many more until there's an adequate sampling WILLIAM: I don't want you as my secretary anymore. VIRGINIA: What? WILLIAM: I've given this serious thought. VIRGINIA: Are you firing me? Again? Bill WILLIAM: I think you should have a different title. One that reflects the work you're doing. 'Cause you're not just a secretary, are you? VIRGINIA: What am I? WILLIAM: You're a research assistant. And you're a very good one. I'm not giving you a raise or your own separate office, but we'll get someone in who can assist us both A secretary. VIRGINIA: With a secretary, I could I could just focus on the work. WILLIAM: Well, it seems like the right time. VIRGINIA: So then you agree that we're on to something. WILLIAM: It's not science to operate from a series of unproven assumptions. That's dogma like, one form of *** is immature, another is mature. VIRGINIA: Which we've just scientifically proved is not science. WILLIAM: But there are other assumptions. For example, how long do elderly people remain sexually active? Now, the general assumption is that the course of a sex life ends around 60. But I've got two 70-year-olds in Miami who are living proof that that's something we should investigate. VIRGINIA: Here's another question Why can some women *** without any genital stimulation whatsoever? - WILLIAM: Can they? - VIRGINIA: Jane can. Jane can *** just having her *** touched. WILLIAM: That I find hard to believe. VIRGINIA: You don't have to because we could test it here. Couldn't we? WILLIAM: We could. VIRGINIA: There was a woman on the road who could *** by putting a Q-tip in her ear. And there was a woman tonight who wrote on her questionnaire that she can climax while brushing her teeth. WILLIAM: *** pleasure via good hygiene? Okay. Men can climax in their dreams. VIRGINIA: Women can, too. WILLIAM: [ Chuckles ] So I think your new job description is clear Keep asking questions. That's what a good researcher does. Although, orgasming having your *** touched I'd need to see proof of that. VIRGINIA: We're scientists. Let's see.