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Assuming a standard height-To-weight ratio and a 3-point margin of error Pinky: ha ha ha ha! [Synthetic laughter] Factor in g-force and wind shear of each downward thrust ha ha ha ha! [Synthetic laughter] That does it! Pinky, what are you doing? Ha ha ha! Oh, poit! I'm playing with my new "tickle me Herbert" doll, Brain.
You just tickle him here, and he laughs and laughs.
Kootchie kootchie kootchie! [Synthetic laughter] Well, put it away.
I can hardly hear myself think.
Maybe you're just not thinking loud enough, Brain.
Pinky, may I see that for a moment? Sure--uhh! [Synthetic laughter] [Laughter fades] Oh, Brain, I think he likes you.
Zort! Now maybe I'll have the quiet I need to finish perfecting my latest plan.
You might say we're going fishing.
Fishing? Troz! Oh, what fun, Brain! I'll bring my beekeeper's bonnet and all the stuff you need for keeping bees.
Oh, no, no, wait.
That's not fishing.
Ha! Oh, that's skiing.
Try to focus, Pinky.
This is the finnious japonicus, commonly known in japan as mugu.
One bite of its tail renders anyone who eats it unable to move for 24 hours.
I had a linoleum sandwich last week that made me feel the same way, but shiny.
Pinky, if you have anything to say, please raise your hand.
Right, Brain.
And place it over your mouth.
[Muffled] Ok.
My plan is simply this-- I will capture a pair of mugu, breed them, and market the tails throughout the world as Cappy Brain's frozen fish sticks.
While the populace is immobilized, I shall implement my plan of world domination.
There's only one catch.
Oh? Well, that won't be enough to feed the whole world, then, will it? [Muffled] Sorry.
The japonicus is so rare that the only known specimens are those bred in captivity for the dining pleasure of japan's most elite sumo wrestlers.
[Muffled question] Take your hand off your mouth if you're going to speak, Pinky.
Oh.
[Muffled question] I have anticipated your query, Pinky.
I plan to become one of japan's most elite sumo wrestlers.
Observe.
Narf! [Gasps] The "tickle me Dom DeLUISE"? Oh, why, that's the most expensive one.
Look closer, Pinky.
I have modified my suit to fit the precise specifications of a champion sumo wrestler.
With the adjustments I've made, I'll be able to flip a 600-pound man.
Won't you need an awfully large spatula for that? Don't forget to pack your doll when we go to japan, Pinky.
I might feel the need for some intelligent conversation.
And sumo! Noogie.
Give him the noogie.
Noogie, noogie, noogie.
Unh! Good work, tomu-San.
Tomorrow we work on the wedgie.
Now go.
Brain: master Hama? Yes? Allow me to introduce myself.
I am the Brain.
I have come many miles with my small valet Pinky to study sumo at the camp of master Hama.
Your head is as small as a lychee nut, but your physique is excellent for sumo.
I would be honored to teach you.
Actually, I am but an insignificant lab mouse attempting to take over the world.
The honor is all mine.
[Clank] Whaa! Whoa! [Crash] There is no need for false humility and groveling.
Come.
We begin immediately.
Let us begin our first lesson.
Excellent.
Who do I flip first? Patience, Brain-San.
There will be time for flipping when you are more advanced.
Today, we consider the pebble.
Consider the pebble? Zen exercise to increase concentration.
Observe the pebble's simplicity.
Listen to its silence.
Become the pebble.
You want me to stare at a rock all day? [Chuckles] Oh, no, no.
Just until lunchtime.
See you in 4 hours.
Hama thinks I'm a beginner, Pinky.
Until he lets me compete and prove that I belong in the camp with advanced wrestlers, I'll never get access to the mugu.
Pinky? What? Oh, sorry, Brain.
I was becoming one with the pebble.
Were you? Yes.
And it's really easy.
All you have to do is make your mind a complete blank.
Too bad drawing a blank isn't an Olympic event, Pinky.
We could retire on the gold medals you'd win.
Eat well, Brain-San.
We have much training left to do.
Aren't you hungry, master Hama? No.
I eat big lunch with my star wrestlers in other dining hall-- fried mugu, Cajun mugu, mugu chowder, mojo mugu.
Someday, Brain-San, perhaps you will be allowed to eat mugu, too, eh? Sooner than you think, my pan-pacific friend.
The sumo men must eat a lot to get so fat.
Wrestlers not fat, Pinky-San.
It is muscle tissue resulting from years of strenuous yoga exercises.
[Door opens] Who wants pie? [Wrestlers all talk at once] Well, even the best athletes like a good meringue.
Pinky, a day has passed, and we have nothing to show for it.
Oh, I don't know, Brain.
I've developed a lovely relationship with our new friend the pebble.
Pinky, have you ever contemplated the sound of one hand bopping? One hand, um don't think so.
Aah! [Crowd chattering in distance] What is it? What's going on? It is matsuhisa, the best wrestler in camp.
He has had too much pie and is taking on all challengers.
Grrr! Pinky: egad, Brain.
You'd have to be quite a wrestler to beat that matsu hoozy fellow.
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? I think so, Brain, but who wants to see snow white and the seven samurai? No, Pinky.
I will defeat the great matsuhisa, thereby proving that I am a great sumo wrestler.
Then you can eat pie till you pop.
Narf! [Smack] Aah! Matsuhisa, I will accept your challenge.
What's going on here? Brain-San has gone completely insane.
Hmm, oh, that would explain why he won't talk to my new friend the pebble.
[Grunting] Whoa! Oof! Quit now, Brain-San.
Better to be live coward than dead idiot.
Don't worry, Hama.
It's a matter of scientific fact that I can flip any man up to 600 pounds.
Matsuhisa weighs 601 pounds.
Arrr! Rats.
Noogie, noogie, noogie.
Ow! Stop hurting Brain, you, you pie wrecker! [Grunts] Whoa! [Crash] [Boing] Whaa! [Grunts] Kootchie kootchie.
[Laughing] Kootchie kootchie kootchie.
Poit.
Kootchie kootchie Koo.
Zort! Kootchie Koo.
Kootchie Koo.
Kootchie poit! [Crowd gasps] Whaa ha! Whaa ha ha ha! Whoa ho ho ho! Whoa! Whoa! Oof! [Cheering] The winner! Narf! Bring on the pie! [Chattering] Pinky: ooh, now we can get into the fancy restaurant, Brain.
Yes, Pinky, and we'll get ahold of the fancy fish.
This way, Pinky.
This is it, Pinky.
The world's only specimens of finnious japonicus are in this tank.
Soon, kitchen freezers throughout the world will be stocked with Cappy Brain's delicious mugu tails, bursting with paralytic goodness.
You put the yum in yum-yum-yummy, Cappy Brain.
Zort! [Both grunt] Tell me if you see any movement, Pinky.
Pinky: um, think I saw some movement just then, Brain.
Perhaps I should have researched the size of the mugu a bit more thoroughly.
What do we do now, Cappy Brain? Hope the chef pushes the mugu, Pinky, and plan for tomorrow night.
Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night, Brain? Same thing we do every night, Pinky-- dry off, and then try to take over the world.
[Bubbly voices] They're dinky they're Pinky and the Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain warner bros.
Captioned by the national
