Arshavin in TV Projektorperishilton (English subtitles)

Vanya, haven't you noticed that mosquitoes are primarily attacking you? Well guys, I have noticed, but... On hell of mosquitoes they are, look... Wait a sec... Could you practise in some other place? Young man, we are actually filming a TV programme... Iím sorry. We are filming now. So take your ball... Donít give the ball back! Please, Junior League is training right there! Sasha, where have you brought us? What the... OK, right, show us what you can do with this... So what? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5! 6!! I got a job here on Channel One with a trick like that! On my show Russiaís Got Talent a man juggled 7 times! And heís 6! Listen, youíve got a familiar face... Now then, do this. Thatís Andrey Arshavin! Guys! Now thatís a present! Andrey, hi! Of all things! I didnít know youíre training in Krylatskoje... Thank you. Now look how itís done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5! Only one less than Arshavin, one ball! Less than Arshavin did. Andrey, sit down. We put a pillow for you. Can I just stand like that then? No no... Could you throw the ball back, please? Guus! Thanks! See, he understands Russian now. Doesnít speak, but understands. Andrei, we welcome you, thanks for training nearby... Excuse me, itís just...Andrei, when you appear is it always so many insects around? One hell of mosquitoes they are! Have you noticed?! I have! Mosquitoes of Arsenal! English mosquitoes? They donít understand Russian. Here, look: ìGet the hell out!îSee, they donít understand! ìGo away!î Well, one has departed. Andrei! Firstly, of course, we want another round of applause! Weíre finishing the first season of ProjectorParisHilton now And weíve, well, talked about you in each episode! Not in every shot, of course. But behind the scenes! All the time: howís Andrei, whatís up, how many millions? I have a question! Canít be! Really? Euro? Euro?! Pounds?! Andrei, which leg did you use to score those 4 goals? Do you want to kiss this leg? Letís stop guessing and listen to Andrei. Which one? Both? Both. Yes. Which did you use more? I think two-by-two. Two balls with each leg! Like so! Just imagine if Andrei had 6 legs! What would be the score line! Imagine if Andrei had so many legs!...as you have! Understood? Get out of the football league! Get the hell out! Now, this tea, my friends, has become the first and the second course at the same time, if you have a look. Andrei, now, because we know you havenít got much time As I understand, you just fly here and there as quickly as you can.Thereíre intense summer trainings going on, right? No, Iíve got a holiday. No, youíre going away, Andrei. Youíve got a very intense schedule, we agreed that way. Thatís it, youíre here and there, and thatís it! OK, weíve got some news, which we really want to.. So, thereís news about Jewish newspapers Odessa. But thatís just for me, to lighten up the mood. Put it down. I wanted to ask you to comment on the news about... Iím going to tell you right now... Here it is! Angelina...can you say something about this news? Because youíre closer to Angelina than us... Where from should I read? You can start from the word ìAngelinaî. That means from the end of the article: ì...said Angelina.î Andrei, please, we wonít interrupt! By the way, your famous gesture you do... ìJOE-leeî or ìjoe-LEEî whichís right? Andrei, to a person with a surname Arshavin itís absolutely unimportant who she is. Letís name her ìnobodyî.Letís name her ìAngelochkaî. ìNobodyî is going to adopt a child from..from Armenia. From where?! Angelina Jolieís going to adopt..? ëa childí. Iíll give Garik a chance: Angelina Jolieís going to adopt an Armenian. Seriously? Can I get acquainted with a price list? Maybe Iíll get to go to London as well, Andrei. On more favourable terms. Some...how many, 30 millions, right? What? How many?! Does anybody have a cigarette? Listen, for the first time in my life I regret not being Armenian. For the first time! ëAngelina Jolie will adopt an Armenianí ëThe process of adoption can be easy this time!í ëBecause thereís less bureaucracy in Armeniaí ëThatís why the actress chose to have an Armenian babyí Angelina Jolie really did get your letter, Garik And I thought, he doesnít use his nickname ìArmenian babyî anymore. You bet he does! All the time, huh? Vaní, you know, the thing is Andrei Arshavin...by the way, Andrei, we really followed all those transfer peripeteias in winter. Yeah, and our all collective believes that you could take twice as many. Or even three times as much. And you would sit here not in Nike, but just like me, in Roberto Cavalli. And you would drive not a Rolls-Royce Phantom, or whatever, But a golden train. With your own stewardess. With your own opera singer, and a centre of your own rejuvenation Do you have a phone on you? Give it to me, please. Iíll make a deal in 2 seconds... One day, the same phrase was used in Alupka. Give, give it to me! Do have some credit there? Right, Iíll ring and make a deal in 2 seconds. Watch and learn. Garik knows some serious people. He's calling somewhere. Just a sec! Garik, heís 73, itís not a second! Still in a toilet, judging from this phrase. Heís offering 2 millions, agreed? ìSessantaî is 2 millions? Didnít know that! Vaní, do you know, whatís 60 minus 2? How many millions would that be? He doesnít agree! Let me call, Iíve got another number. Sash, youíve got it too. Iím going to call England... Whom are you calling to? Alex Ferguson. He went to the loo as well now, with... Let me, Iíve got people abroad too, let me call too. *speaking in Ukrainian* Hello, Petro! How are ya? [Dinamo Prikarpatya, the team.] Hows business? Hows things? Ive got a laddie here, right for your team. Rosy-cheeked, uber-active, running all the time! 60 million Euro! Oh, sorry. [Turns out its hockey team.] Andrei, after this mise en scene with a common name ìEnvyî I want to ask you to read this news, which I think is quite a touchy subject amongst our list of news. ìThe first vending machine selling gold species has appeared on the railway station of German Frankfurtî I'm late! "Gold-Super-Marktís vending machine sells 1-, 5-, and 10-gramm bullions" Andrei's reading nicely Where's news? Oh, that's not news for you? Well sure! Gold bullion vending machine was in Andrei's porch long time ago Since 2006 Andrei, we know you've got friends in your team, Arsenal. You're friends with Adebayor, right? Yes. Adebayor is French-speaking, right? Yes And you're Russian... How do you interact, really, how do you do that? Well, I've been learning English, turns out I should've been learning French So I'm sitting and listening to French in the locker room Well, the phrase "pardon" is always understandable in the locker room Pardon, monsieur When you're dropping the soap in the shower, or what? Andrei!Andrei! Never do that! It's better to be dirty, Andrei!