Chitty Chitty *** *** by Richard Sherman and Robert Sherman - Dialogue and Script

Opening Crowd Wow! Oh, there never never ever was a car.... Announcer And there's the British champion, the Paragon Panther Crowd There never ever was... Announcer And behind her, the Vulgarian Vulture. Crowd Never was a car... Announcer Into the final straight, it's the Panther scattering all before her... Crowd A car like this great car Announcer She's there, she's there She's coming, she's coming And again, the Paragon Panther wins! Crowd Oh, there never was a car There never was a car Like this great car No, there never was a car There never was a star Like this great car No car ever went so far In winning every great Grand Prix That great eight-litre motor race car Is making history Announcer And way behind her, the Vulgarian Vulture. Crowd That great eight-litre motor race car Is making history Twelve cylinders race away The miles simply disappear And year after winning year The Paragon Panther is best Man 1 Oh, there never was a car There never was a car Like this great car Man 2 Oh, there never was a car There never was a car Like this great car Crowd No car ever went so far In winning every great Grand Prix Man 3 That great eight-litre motor race car Is making history Crowd That great eight-litre motor race car Is making history Announcer And welcome to the great British Grand Prix of 1910. And this year, it's a warm welcome to beautiful Brookland on this English summer's day. So, let's welcome our honoured guests from overseas, Baron Bomburst, the Baroness Bomburst and entourage, all the way from Vulgaria. Vulgarians For the Vulture of Vulgaria Ist our great machine It is faster than all motor cars The world has ever seen To glorify Vulgaria For if we should lose the race today Announcer Let battle commence! Vulgarians For the Vulture of Vulgaria Ist our great machine Crowd There never was a car like this great car Vulgarians It is faster than all motor cars The world has ever seen Crowd That great eight-litre motor race car Is making history Announcer And it's Britain... And it's Vulgaria... Oh, they're neck and neck And the Panther's coming up on the inside Oh my goodness, she's lost a tire This will need a pit stop, and a quick one That has to be the fastest pit stop of all time! And now the Panther's off again But she's way behind Now she's passing the French car Au revoir, froggies And she's overtaking the Spaniards And now approaching the Russians Leaving them in Siberia Only one car left now The Vulgarian Vulture And the Panther's gaining She's gaining, she's gaining Oh dear, she's lagging She's gaining again Go, go, go! Come on, cheer, cheer for England! Crowd There never was a car Never was a car Never was a star Like this great car! Announcer Oh my god, what's this? She should be braking She's out of control! Something's gone horribly wrong She's out of control! She's out of control! She's heading for the stands! Ladies and gentlemen, run like hell! You Two Caractacus: What makes the battle worth the fighting? What makes the mountain worth the climb? What makes the questions worth the asking? Children The reason worth the rhyme? Caractacus: Exactly! To me the answer's clear; it's having someone near; someone dear Someone to care for; to be there for I have you two! Someone to do for; muddle through for I have you two! Someone to share joy or despair with; whichever betides you. Life becomes a chore, unless you're living for Someone to tend to, be a friend to I have you two! Someone to strive for, stay alive for I have you two! Could be, we three get along so famously, 'cause you two have me, and I have you two too Children Someone to care for; to be there for Caractacus: I have you two! Children Someone to do for; muddle through for Caractacus: I have you two! Someone to smile once in awhile with; whenever you're lonesome I've a happy lot, Considering what I've got But, you couldn't do more Than you do for your poor father Things go asunder And I wonder why you bother All Could be, we three get along so famously 'cause Children We two have you Caractacus: And I have you two too Them Three Grandpa Someone to care, to be there for I have them three Someone to do for, muddle through for I have them three What's more, we four Get along in honesty 'Cause them three have me That's what us four's for! Toot Sweets Caractacus Don't waste your pucker on some all day sucker And don't try a toffee or cream If you seek perfection in sugar confection Well there's something new on the scene A mouth full of cheer A sweet without peer A musical morsel supreme! Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! The candies you whistle, the whistles you eat Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! The eatable, tweetable treats! Truly Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! The toot of a flute with the flavor of fruit! Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! No longer need candy be mute! Caractacus Don't waste your pucker on some all day sucker Truly And don't try a toffee or cream! If you seek perfection in sugar confection Caractacus: Well, there's something new on the scene: Both Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! A bon-bon to blow on at last has been found Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets, With eatable, tweetable sound! Lord Scrumptious Oh! Take that muck away! Caractacus Their values intrinsic, Truly Surpass any mint stick Children Or marshmallow mouthful you munch Caractacus Though licorice is chewy Truly And gum drops are gooey Children And chocolate is charming to crunch Caractacus and Truly That sugary fife, Women That sweet of your life Kids and factory workers It's clearly the best of the bunch All Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! The candies you whistle, the whistles you eat Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! The eatable, tweetable treat! Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! A bon-bon to blow on at last has been found Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! With eatable, tweetable sound Scrumptious The public will hate them And ad infinitum Returns will repeat and repeat They look rather freaky They're squeaky and leaky In brief, I reject them, tout de suite I won't risk my name My wealth and my fame On candies that no one will eat Truly But father! Listen to them play! All Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! A bon-bon to blow on at last has been found Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! The treat that's so tweetable lusciously eatable With that unbeatable sound!  Think Vulgar Boris You have a Vulgar mind You have a Vulgar heart You have Vulgar blood You're Vulgar, through and through So when in doubt... Think Vulgar And fall in line Goran Think Vulgar Boris And you'll be fine Just remember all Vulgaria's sons and daughters Are expendable, unless they follow orders Goran Think Vulgar And show no fright Boris Think Vulgar With all your might Goran Day und night Boris Be obedient and behave Just like a Vulgar slave Or you'll wind up In a Vulgar grave If you don't want thumbscrews Or the torture rack Just speak English Goran Jolly good Boris And tally-ho! If we should fail There is no turning back We'll both be mincemeat And six feet below Goran I don't want to go below Boris So act English Stiff upper lip Goran Stiff upper lip Boris Speak English Cheerio, pip pip Goran Cheerio, pip pip Boris If we should fail to get that car As we've been ordered Goran In Vulgaria We'll both be drawn and quartered Boris Think Vulgar Be slick and sly Goran You're a spy! Boris Think Vulgar Or else we die Goran Else we die! Both Be obedient and behave Just like a Vulgar slave Or you'll wind up When the guns are lined up Boris To a post you're twined up Goran Then what? Boris You're shot Both In a Vulgar grave A Vulgar grave Hushabye Mountain Caractacus A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain Softly blows o'er lullaby bay It fills the sails of boats that are waiting-- Waiting to sail your worries away It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain And your boat waits down by the quay The winds of night so softly are sighing-- Soon they will fly your troubles to sea So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain Wave good-bye to cares of the day And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain Sail far away from lullaby bay So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain Wave good-bye to cares of the day And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain Sail far away from lullaby bay Come to the Fun Fair Chorus Come to the fun fair... So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain Wave good-bye to cares of the day And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain Sail far away from lullaby bay Come to the fun fair Fall into line Come to the fun fair Twinkle and shine Take a ride on a merry round-about Sail a dream boat across the lagoon Go around till you reel on a ferris wheel Or fly, fly, fly in a toy balloon Why don't you come to the fun fair? Fall into line Come with a smile on Twinkle and shine Come to the Fun Fair Follow the throng Everyone's there, at the fun fair Come along Everyone's there, at the fun fair Come along, come along, come along! Come to the fun fair Me Ol' Bamboo All 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 Hey! ‘Ere we go! Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. A gentleman's got a walking stick. A ***'s got a gaff And the merry men of Robin Hood They used a quarterstaff On the Spanish plains inside their canes They hide their ruddy swords But we make do with an old bam-boo And everyone applauds! 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - Hey! Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. Chorus When punting on the beautiful Thames Caractacus You use a sturdy pole. Chorus To protect their fair complexion Caractacus Ladies use a parasol. Chorus It's useful in the underbrush Caractacus To have a hefty spear Chorus Right! All But what we do with an old bam-boo Makes everybody cheer! 1 - 2 - 3 - HO! Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo 'Ere we go, mate . . . 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - HEY! And a 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - and a 5 and a 6 and a 7 HO! Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo! Posh Grandpa When sailing out from Liverpool Abound for sunny Inja Be sure your cabin's port-side Or the sun is gonna singe ya And when you're sailing home again The starboard side for you Grandpa and Children Unless, of course, you like to feel You're boiling in a stew Oh the posh posh traveling life, the traveling life for me First cabin and captain's table regal company Whenever I'm bored I travel abroad but ever so properly Port out, starboard home, posh with a capital P-O-S-H, posh Grandpa The hands that hold the scepters, every head that holds a crown They'll always give their all for me they'll never let me down I'm on my way to far away tah tah and toodle-oo And fare thee well, and Bon Voyage arrivederci too Grandpa and Children O the posh posh traveling life, the traveling life for me First cabin and captain's table regal company Grandpa Pardon the dust of the upper crust--fetch us a cup of tea Grandpa and Children Port out, starboard home, posh with a capital P-O-S-H Grandpa P-O-S-H Grandpa and Children P-O-S-H, posh! Chitty Chitty *** *** Jeremy What a funny noise it's making! Caractacus Well, she's only talking Truly Talking? Caractacus Yes, all engines talk to you! Especially once you get to know them Jemima What's it saying? Caractacus She's saying Chitty chitty, chitty chitty, chitty chitty, chitty chitty,  chitty chitty,  *** ***! Chitty chitty Chitty Chitty *** *** Caractacus and Children Chitty Chitty *** ***! Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Oh you pretty Chitty *** ***, Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you. And, in Chitty Chitty *** ***  Chitty Chitty *** *** What we'll do Near, far, in our motor car Oh what a happy time we'll spend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend Oh you pretty Chitty *** ***, Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you And our Pretty Chitty *** ***  Chitty Chitty *** *** Loves us too High, low, anywhere we go On Chitty Chitty we depend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend Caractacus You're uncategorical Truly A fuel-burning oracle All A fantasmagorical machine Children You're more than spectacular Truly To use the vernacular You're wizard All You're smashing, you're keen Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Oh you pretty Chitty *** ***, Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you And our Pretty Chitty *** ***  Chitty Chitty *** *** Loves us too High, low, anywhere we go On Chitty Chitty we depend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Fine four fendered Chitty Chitty friend Truly Scrumptious Jemima Toot sweets sound like what they are Jemima So do lollys in a lollypop jar Both Gingerbread men have a gingerbread sound, we've found Jemima Sugar plum cinnamon and lemon tart Tell you what they are right from the start Both And your name does the same for you By coincidence, Truly Scrumptious You're truly truly scrumptious Scrumptious as a cherry peach parfait When you're near us It's so delicious Honest, Truly, you're the answer to our wishes Truly Scrumptious Though we may seem presumptuous Never, never, ever go away Our hearts beat so unruly Because we love you truly Honest Truly, we do Truly Truly scrumptious You two are truly scrumptious Scrumptious as the breeze across the bay When you're smiling It's so delicious So beguiling You're the answer to my wishes Truly scrumptious You two are truly scrumptious And I shan't forget this lovely day My heart beats so unruly I also love you truly My heart beats so unruly I also love you truly All Honest, Truly Truly I do Chitty Chitty *** *** (Nautical Reprise) Caractacus It's far more than fabulous It's simply fantabulous This car's automotively supreme Truly It knows what we're going to do It feels what we're going through Jemima It's mystic Jeremy It's magic! Caractacus and Truly A dream Oh Chitty, you Chitty Pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you And Chitty, our Chitty Pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Loves us too High Chitty, low Chitty Anywhere we go On Chitty Chitty we depend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend Oh Chitty, you Chitty Pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you And Chitty, our Chitty Pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Loves us too High Chitty, low Chitty Anywhere we go On Chitty Chitty we depend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend Chitty Takes Flight (Finale Act One) Oh you Pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you And in  Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** What we'll do Near, far, in a motor car Oh what a happy time we'll spend On Chitty Chitty we depend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend Opening Crowd Wow! Oh, there never never ever was a car.... Announcer And there's the British champion, the Paragon Panther Crowd There never ever was... Announcer And behind her, the Vulgarian Vulture. Crowd Never was a car... Announcer Into the final straight, it's the Panther scattering all before her... Crowd A car like this great car Announcer She's there, she's there She's coming, she's coming And again, the Paragon Panther wins! Crowd Oh, there never was a car There never was a car Like this great car No, there never was a car There never was a star Like this great car No car ever went so far In winning every great Grand Prix That great eight-litre motor race car Is making history Announcer And way behind her, the Vulgarian Vulture. Crowd That great eight-litre motor race car Is making history Twelve cylinders race away The miles simply disappear And year after winning year The Paragon Panther is best Man 1 Oh, there never was a car There never was a car Like this great car Man 2 Oh, there never was a car There never was a car Like this great car Crowd No car ever went so far In winning every great Grand Prix Man 3 That great eight-litre motor race car Is making history Crowd That great eight-litre motor race car Is making history Announcer And welcome to the great British Grand Prix of 1910. And this year, it's a warm welcome to beautiful Brookland on this English summer's day. So, let's welcome our honoured guests from overseas, Baron Bomburst, the Baroness Bomburst and entourage, all the way from Vulgaria. Vulgarians For the Vulture of Vulgaria Ist our great machine It is faster than all motor cars The world has ever seen To glorify Vulgaria For if we should lose the race today Announcer Let battle commence! Vulgarians For the Vulture of Vulgaria Ist our great machine Crowd There never was a car like this great car Vulgarians It is faster than all motor cars The world has ever seen Crowd That great eight-litre motor race car Is making history Announcer And it's Britain... And it's Vulgaria... Oh, they're neck and neck And the Panther's coming up on the inside Oh my goodness, she's lost a tire This will need a pit stop, and a quick one That has to be the fastest pit stop of all time! And now the Panther's off again But she's way behind Now she's passing the French car Au revoir, froggies And she's overtaking the Spaniards And now approaching the Russians Leaving them in Siberia Only one car left now The Vulgarian Vulture And the Panther's gaining She's gaining, she's gaining Oh dear, she's lagging She's gaining again Go, go, go! Come on, cheer, cheer for England! Crowd There never was a car Never was a car Never was a star Like this great car! Announcer Oh my god, what's this? She should be braking She's out of control! Something's gone horribly wrong She's out of control! She's out of control! She's heading for the stands! Ladies and gentlemen, run like hell! You Two Caractacus: What makes the battle worth the fighting? What makes the mountain worth the climb? What makes the questions worth the asking? Children The reason worth the rhyme? Caractacus: Exactly! To me the answer's clear; it's having someone near; someone dear Someone to care for; to be there for I have you two! Someone to do for; muddle through for I have you two! Someone to share joy or despair with; whichever betides you. Life becomes a chore, unless you're living for Someone to tend to, be a friend to I have you two! Someone to strive for, stay alive for I have you two! Could be, we three get along so famously, 'cause you two have me, and I have you two too Children Someone to care for; to be there for Caractacus: I have you two! Children Someone to do for; muddle through for Caractacus: I have you two! Someone to smile once in awhile with; whenever you're lonesome I've a happy lot, Considering what I've got But, you couldn't do more Than you do for your poor father Things go asunder And I wonder why you bother All Could be, we three get along so famously 'cause Children We two have you Caractacus: And I have you two too Them Three Grandpa Someone to care, to be there for I have them three Someone to do for, muddle through for I have them three What's more, we four Get along in honesty 'Cause them three have me That's what us four's for! Toot Sweets Caractacus Don't waste your pucker on some all day sucker And don't try a toffee or cream If you seek perfection in sugar confection Well there's something new on the scene A mouth full of cheer A sweet without peer A musical morsel supreme! Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! The candies you whistle, the whistles you eat Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! The eatable, tweetable treats! Truly Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! The toot of a flute with the flavor of fruit! Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! No longer need candy be mute! Caractacus Don't waste your pucker on some all day sucker Truly And don't try a toffee or cream! If you seek perfection in sugar confection Caractacus: Well, there's something new on the scene: Both Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! A bon-bon to blow on at last has been found Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets, With eatable, tweetable sound! Lord Scrumptious Oh! Take that muck away! Caractacus Their values intrinsic, Truly Surpass any mint stick Children Or marshmallow mouthful you munch Caractacus Though licorice is chewy Truly And gum drops are gooey Children And chocolate is charming to crunch Caractacus and Truly That sugary fife, Women That sweet of your life Kids and factory workers It's clearly the best of the bunch All Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! The candies you whistle, the whistles you eat Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! The eatable, tweetable treat! Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! A bon-bon to blow on at last has been found Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! With eatable, tweetable sound Scrumptious The public will hate them And ad infinitum Returns will repeat and repeat They look rather freaky They're squeaky and leaky In brief, I reject them, tout de suite I won't risk my name My wealth and my fame On candies that no one will eat Truly But father! Listen to them play! All Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! A bon-bon to blow on at last has been found Toot Sweets! Toot Sweets! The treat that's so tweetable lusciously eatable With that unbeatable sound!  Think Vulgar Boris You have a Vulgar mind You have a Vulgar heart You have Vulgar blood You're Vulgar, through and through So when in doubt... Think Vulgar And fall in line Goran Think Vulgar Boris And you'll be fine Just remember all Vulgaria's sons and daughters Are expendable, unless they follow orders Goran Think Vulgar And show no fright Boris Think Vulgar With all your might Goran Day und night Boris Be obedient and behave Just like a Vulgar slave Or you'll wind up In a Vulgar grave If you don't want thumbscrews Or the torture rack Just speak English Goran Jolly good Boris And tally-ho! If we should fail There is no turning back We'll both be mincemeat And six feet below Goran I don't want to go below Boris So act English Stiff upper lip Goran Stiff upper lip Boris Speak English Cheerio, pip pip Goran Cheerio, pip pip Boris If we should fail to get that car As we've been ordered Goran In Vulgaria We'll both be drawn and quartered Boris Think Vulgar Be slick and sly Goran You're a spy! Boris Think Vulgar Or else we die Goran Else we die! Both Be obedient and behave Just like a Vulgar slave Or you'll wind up When the guns are lined up Boris To a post you're twined up Goran Then what? Boris You're shot Both In a Vulgar grave A Vulgar grave Hushabye Mountain Caractacus A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain Softly blows o'er lullaby bay It fills the sails of boats that are waiting-- Waiting to sail your worries away It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain And your boat waits down by the quay The winds of night so softly are sighing-- Soon they will fly your troubles to sea So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain Wave good-bye to cares of the day And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain Sail far away from lullaby bay So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain Wave good-bye to cares of the day And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain Sail far away from lullaby bay Come to the Fun Fair Chorus Come to the fun fair... So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain Wave good-bye to cares of the day And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain Sail far away from lullaby bay Come to the fun fair Fall into line Come to the fun fair Twinkle and shine Take a ride on a merry round-about Sail a dream boat across the lagoon Go around till you reel on a ferris wheel Or fly, fly, fly in a toy balloon Why don't you come to the fun fair? Fall into line Come with a smile on Twinkle and shine Come to the Fun Fair Follow the throng Everyone's there, at the fun fair Come along Everyone's there, at the fun fair Come along, come along, come along! Come to the fun fair Me Ol' Bamboo All 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 Hey! ‘Ere we go! Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. A gentleman's got a walking stick. A ***'s got a gaff And the merry men of Robin Hood They used a quarterstaff On the Spanish plains inside their canes They hide their ruddy swords But we make do with an old bam-boo And everyone applauds! 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - Hey! Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. Chorus When punting on the beautiful Thames Caractacus You use a sturdy pole. Chorus To protect their fair complexion Caractacus Ladies use a parasol. Chorus It's useful in the underbrush Caractacus To have a hefty spear Chorus Right! All But what we do with an old bam-boo Makes everybody cheer! 1 - 2 - 3 - HO! Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo 'Ere we go, mate . . . 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - HEY! And a 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - and a 5 and a 6 and a 7 HO! Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo! Posh Grandpa When sailing out from Liverpool Abound for sunny Inja Be sure your cabin's port-side Or the sun is gonna singe ya And when you're sailing home again The starboard side for you Grandpa and Children Unless, of course, you like to feel You're boiling in a stew Oh the posh posh traveling life, the traveling life for me First cabin and captain's table regal company Whenever I'm bored I travel abroad but ever so properly Port out, starboard home, posh with a capital P-O-S-H, posh Grandpa The hands that hold the scepters, every head that holds a crown They'll always give their all for me they'll never let me down I'm on my way to far away tah tah and toodle-oo And fare thee well, and Bon Voyage arrivederci too Grandpa and Children O the posh posh traveling life, the traveling life for me First cabin and captain's table regal company Grandpa Pardon the dust of the upper crust--fetch us a cup of tea Grandpa and Children Port out, starboard home, posh with a capital P-O-S-H Grandpa P-O-S-H Grandpa and Children P-O-S-H, posh! Chitty Chitty *** *** Jeremy What a funny noise it's making! Caractacus Well, she's only talking Truly Talking? Caractacus Yes, all engines talk to you! Especially once you get to know them Jemima What's it saying? Caractacus She's saying Chitty chitty, chitty chitty, chitty chitty, chitty chitty,  chitty chitty,  *** ***! Chitty chitty Chitty Chitty *** *** Caractacus and Children Chitty Chitty *** ***! Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Oh you pretty Chitty *** ***, Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you. And, in Chitty Chitty *** ***  Chitty Chitty *** *** What we'll do Near, far, in our motor car Oh what a happy time we'll spend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend Oh you pretty Chitty *** ***, Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you And our Pretty Chitty *** ***  Chitty Chitty *** *** Loves us too High, low, anywhere we go On Chitty Chitty we depend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend Caractacus You're uncategorical Truly A fuel-burning oracle All A fantasmagorical machine Children You're more than spectacular Truly To use the vernacular You're wizard All You're smashing, you're keen Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Oh you pretty Chitty *** ***, Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you And our Pretty Chitty *** ***  Chitty Chitty *** *** Loves us too High, low, anywhere we go On Chitty Chitty we depend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Fine four fendered Chitty Chitty friend Truly Scrumptious Jemima Toot sweets sound like what they are Jemima So do lollys in a lollypop jar Both Gingerbread men have a gingerbread sound, we've found Jemima Sugar plum cinnamon and lemon tart Tell you what they are right from the start Both And your name does the same for you By coincidence, Truly Scrumptious You're truly truly scrumptious Scrumptious as a cherry peach parfait When you're near us It's so delicious Honest, Truly, you're the answer to our wishes Truly Scrumptious Though we may seem presumptuous Never, never, ever go away Our hearts beat so unruly Because we love you truly Honest Truly, we do Truly Truly scrumptious You two are truly scrumptious Scrumptious as the breeze across the bay When you're smiling It's so delicious So beguiling You're the answer to my wishes Truly scrumptious You two are truly scrumptious And I shan't forget this lovely day My heart beats so unruly I also love you truly My heart beats so unruly I also love you truly All Honest, Truly Truly I do Chitty Chitty *** *** (Nautical Reprise) Caractacus It's far more than fabulous It's simply fantabulous This car's automotively supreme Truly It knows what we're going to do It feels what we're going through Jemima It's mystic Jeremy It's magic! Caractacus and Truly A dream Oh Chitty, you Chitty Pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you And Chitty, our Chitty Pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Loves us too High Chitty, low Chitty Anywhere we go On Chitty Chitty we depend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend Oh Chitty, you Chitty Pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you And Chitty, our Chitty Pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Loves us too High Chitty, low Chitty Anywhere we go On Chitty Chitty we depend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend Chitty Takes Flight (Finale Act One) Oh you Pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you And in  Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** What we'll do Near, far, in a motor car Oh what a happy time we'll spend On Chitty Chitty we depend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend Vulgarian National Anthem Vulgarians We are loyal to Vulgaria Vulture of the West And we toil for Vulgaria, Feathering her nest The soil of Vulgaria Through all the world is known From her heights to her Dairy Area Vulgaria stands alone! The Roses of Success Inventors Every bursted bubble has a glory! Each abysmal failure makes a point! Every glowing path that goes astray, Shows you how to find a better way So every time you stumble never grumble Next time you'll bumble even less! For up from the ashes, up from the ashes, grow the roses of success! Grow the roses! Grow the roses! Grow the roses of success! Oh yes! Grow the roses! Those rosy roses! From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success! For every big mistake you make be grateful! That mistake you'll never make again! No sir! Every shiny dream that fades and dies, Generates the steam for two more tries! Grandpa (Oh) There's magic in the wake of a fiasco! Correct! It gives you that chance to second guess! Oh yes! Then up from the ashes, up from the ashes grow the roses of success! Inventors Grow the roses! Grow the roses! Those rosy roses! From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success! Grandpa Disaster didn't stymie Louis Pasteur! Edison took years to see the light! Alexander Graham knew failure well; He took a lot of knocks to ring that bell! All So when it gets distressing it's a blessing! Onward and upward you must press! Yes, Yes! Till up from the ashes, up from the ashes grow the roses of success. Till up from the ashes, up from the ashes Roses Those rosy roses Roses, roses Grow the roses Grow the roses Rosy roses Grow the roses Grow the roses Grow the roses of success Grow the roses Those rosy roses! From the ashes of disaster, grow the roses of success! Success! Success! From the ashes of disaster, grow the roses of success! Kiddy Widdy Winkies Childcatcher By chill light of midnight And shrill light of day The hunter is after his prey If you're hiding children And I sniff them out Oh my, what a price you will pay I can't see or hear them But smell that I'm near them Those dear, sweet kiddy widdy winkies I sense their presence I'm sniffing their essence Those dear, sweet kiddy widdy winkies Yes, I am blessed with a sensitive snout Better get out of its way Come, little kiddies, I'm sniffing you out What a game, I proclaim There's no denying It's most gratifying To catch sweet kiddy widdy winkies So till they're found I just chase them to ground One by one Oh, it's fun! And sometimes I lure them The dear little lambs With goodies and gooeys And chewies and jams Gobstoppers, gumdrops And little rice treats Cookies and chocolates And all kids of sweets Strawberry lollies with peppermint strands Trickle tarts, ice creams, I meet all demands Then when I get the dears into my hands They're banished And vanished And damned Teamwork Caractacus One way I know of one way Let's unite and right this wrong One way There's only one way We must form a fighting throng If the same great dream Is beating in each heart There's no stopping what a fighting team can start For all together A team can weather Any storm they may go through 'Cause teamwork Can make a dream work Can make the greatest dream come true Kids Maybe With some surprises We could give them quite a fight Maybe Despite our sizes We could win the day tonight If our minds and hearts Team up and fight as one We won't stop until the victory is won Caractacus When you're united A torch is lighted The golden flame of liberty All Yes, teamwork Can make a dream work And we'll stand and proud and free Toymaker There's a spark of a dream in every one of you It's the dream of freedom that's your heart's desire Caractacus Though one tiny little spark can barely make a mark All together many sparks can light a mighty fire Caractacus Oh yes, we can do it Oh yes, we can win the day Oh yes, if we follow through it All together, we can win Another dream of freedom Can begin All together One great team can Win the battle   Kids Teamwork Can make a dream work If we all pitch in and try Teamwork Can make a dream work And no mountain is too high For all together A team can weather Any storm they may go through All Yes, teamwork Can make a dream work Can make the greatest dream come true Teamwork Can make a dream work If you're not afraid to fight Teamwork Can make a dream work If you fight for what is right Though it seems a dream's impossible to do Great teams make impossibilities come true So when we start out Put all your heart out And never stop once we begin 'Cause teamwork Can make a dream work If we have got the will to win Yes, teamwork Can make a dream work If we have got the will to win Chu-Chi Face Baron You're my little chu-chi face My coo-chi, coo-chi, woo-chi little chu-chi face Every time I look at you I sigh Baroness And you're my little teddy bear My lovey lovey dovey little teddy bear You're the apfel strudel of mine eye Baron Your chu-chi woo-chi nose Your chu-chi woo-chi eyes They set my heart a flutter Baroness Your ooo-chi coo-chi ways Your ooo-chi coo-chi gaze Wilts me down like meltings butter Baron You're my little chu-chi face Baroness And you're my teddy bear Both Together we're a chu-chi woo-chi, ooo-chi coo-chi pair Baron Whatever you may ask becomes my happy task I only live to serve you Baroness I never will divine what magic made you mine I only know I don't deserve you Baron You're my little chu-chi face Baroness And you're my teddy bear Both Together we're a chu-chi woo-chi, ooo-chi coo-chi Chu-chi, Woo-chi, Ooo-chi, Coo-chi Chu-chi Woo-chi Ooo-chi Chu-chi, Woo-chi, Ooo-chi, Coo-chi The Bombie Samba Baroness Far away in South America There's a hot new Eden sizzling So I'm bringing it to Vulgaria Where it's always cold und drizzling I have taken the music und the rhythm Und put my own vocabulary-ithm Und so for your birthday, darling Bombie I sing my song for you Chorus Bim, bim, bom, bom Baroness It's called the Bombie Samba Chorus No, no It's not Baroness A tango or a rhumba Bim, bim, bom, bom You'll bounce around the room When you do the Bombie Samba You bounce away the gloom When you do the Bombie Samba Mit the bim und the bom und de boom So take the floor Like a conquistador For there is no retreat From the Bombie Samba beat Chorus Bim, bim, bom, bom Baroness and Baron It's called the Bombie Samba Chorus No, no It's not Baroness and Baron A tango or a rhumba Bim, bim, bom, bom You'll bounce around the room All When you do the Bombie Samba You bounce away the gloom When you do the Bombie Samba Mit the bim und the bom und the boom So take the floor Like a conquistador For there is no retreat From the Bombie Samba beat Bim, bim, bom, bom It's called the Bombie Samba No, no It's not A tango or a rhumba Bim, bim, bom, bom You'll bounce around the room When you do the Bombie Samba You bounce away the gloom When you do the Bombie Samba Mit the bim, bim, bim, bim... Bom, bom, bom, bom ba ba bom ba bom bim, bim, bim, bim ba ba bim ba bim Bom, bom, bom, bom ba ba bom ba bom Doll on a Music Box / Truly Scumptious Doll What do you see You people gazing at me You see a doll on a music box That's wound by a key How can you tell I'm under a spell I'm waiting for love's first kiss You cannot see How much I long to be free Turning around on this music box That's wound by a key Yearning Yearning While I'm turning around and around Rag Doll Truly Scrumptious You're truly, truly scrumptious Scruptious as a cherry peach parfait When you're near me It's so delicious Honest, truly You're the answer to my wishes Doll You cannot see How much I long to be free Turning around on this music box That's wound by a key Yearning Yearning While I'm turning around and around Rag Doll Truly Scrumptious Though I may seem Presumptious Never, ever, ever go away My heart beats so unruly Because I love you truly Honest, truly, I do You Two / Chitty Prayer Jeremy & Jemima Someone to care for To be there for We've got us two Someone to strive for Stay alive for We've got us two And yes, it's true We will always muddle through 'Cause no one can do The things us two can do Oh, you pretty Chitty *** *** If we ever needed you Now, please Chitty Chitty *** *** At this moment How we do Oh, you pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Flies Home (Finale) All Oh you pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you, And our Pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** loves us too High low anywhere we go On Chitty Chitty we depend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend It's uncategorical A fuel burning oracle A fantasmagorical machine It's more than spectacular To use the vernacular It's wizard It's smashing It's keen Oh Chitty You Chitty Pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** We love you And Chitty, in Chitty Pretty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** what we'll do Near Chitty, far Chitty In our motor car oh what a happy time we'll spend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Our fine four fendered friend Chitty Chitty *** *** Chitty Chitty *** *** Fine four fendered Chitty Chitty friend