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Ben: Okay.
Kit: Failure’s what we want.
Ben: Oh, we’re gonna get plenty of failure.
Ben (walking): I’ve never really seen myself exercise on camera before, but…pretty sure
it’s not gonna be very flattering.
Ben (driving): So you may not have noticed, because I’m hiding my chins underneath this
beard, but I’m a little on the husky side. Doctors have another word for it.
I used to be an athlete. I wasn’t a good athlete, but I was an athlete. I mean, I could
even dunk a basketball. Don’t worry, my friends don’t believe it either.
So I’m spending the week with celebrity trainer Kit Rich. Because I want to learn
the fitness secrets of the young, and the rich, and the beautiful.
Because I’m pretty sure they have secrets.
I learned a lot that first day.
I learned to never hire a sound guy off Craigslist.
Trust me, I just said something hilarious.
I also learned that vomiting from exercise was a real thing, and something to be afraid of.
But more than anything, I learned that this tiny woman could absolutely destroy me.
But then I stopped thinking about celebrities, or fitness secrets, or even how much my man
*** were sweating. I just listened to Kit’s commands, and then I tried to do them the
best that I could.
And that’s when things got interesting.
Kit: One more. Can you engage your core?
Kit: Use your lower abs. Pull them in.
Kit: I need you to breathe on the up. Breathe! Two more, you can do this! Come on! Come on!
Kit: One more.
Kit: Six. That’s it. Use your core. Pull in.
Kit: Come on! Remember your athlete days! Remember your athlete days!
Kit: Ten seconds to go!
Ben (VO): And this is when I finally learned the fitness secret of celebrities and other beautiful people.
And the secret is…there is no secret. It’s just hard work.
Lots and lots of hard, *** work.
Ben (VO): And that’s kinda beautiful.
Ben: That’s so embarrassing!
Ben (VO): Because it’s so simple that anyone can do it. But it’s also kinda terrifying.
Because if it’s so simple that anyone can do it,
then why can’t I?
Kit: Fifteen seconds left.
Ben (VO): I wish I would have found a different secret. I wish there was some kind of magic
Pilates or kale juice or even designer steroids that all the celebrities took to get fit.
Kit: Do not give up on yourself! Give me on more! Give me one more!
Ben (VO): But there isn’t. There’s just hard work.
Ben: Son of a ***!
Ben (VO): Lots and lots of hard work. And if you’re lucky, someone like Kit to make
it feel a little bit easier.
Kit: Okay, here we go! Overhead shoulder press.
Kit: That, I’m gonna have to charge you extra.